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Well, I think I mentioned yesterday that I had two other stories... Another 100 word TeFu. And a AtobeYuushi.
There you go eriea. More fics to still your hunger... XD I hope you like them!!!!
TeFu: There are so many things that you should have told him. But night after night you’re willing to hold him. Just hold him. XD
I’ve never told him. Not once. I don’t know why. In my mind the words sounded real and true. But if I tried to voice them to him… I just couldn’t.
And now it’s too late. I can never tell him what I should have…
I love you.
Don’t leave me.
You are beautiful.
I never told him. Instead I’ve held him close so many times. In so many situations. My arms would always know what to do when my voice failed me.
My actions showed what I could never say to him. But he knew…
The End
AN: don’t ask me what happened to Fuji… ^_^;; I’ll leave that up to your imagination… XD
Title: Look into my eyes and tell me that this is not the way it was meant to end.
Promt: Look into my eyes and tell me that this is not the way it was meant to end.
Pairing: AtobeYuushi
Author: Kana
Warning: Euh… Out of character Atobe… ^_^;; Evil father! Angsty…
Disclamer: No, I do not own them. (Wish I did though… )
Genre: Angst / Romance
Atobe’s POV
“What are you talking about?”
His voice is calm and collected. One can say even cold. However I can hear it. The pain shimmering through. I can hear it… Of course I can. I’ve known him for so long. Loved him even longer.
“You heard me Yuushi…”
I can see his eyes widen just a little before they turn to thin slits. So much anger on a normal so composed face. My mistake… Prehaps I shouldn’t have used ‘Yuushi’…
“Get out… ‘Keigo’”
This time his voice is cold. Cold and hard and if he could, he would stab me to death with that voice.
I know that walking out of this room would be for the best of me. Yet one way or another, my feet are refusing to move. We have been through to much together to just…
Without another word he takes a couple of steps to the left. Half turning away from me. His hand takes a vase standing on the dinner table. Red roses. His slim fingers curled around the neck of the object.
His head is still turned away from me. Eyes hidden by his hair. I would do anything to just make him look at me. To explain.
“Yuushi…”
I’ve always known him to be fast, but now, in pure rage, his actions are even faster than on the court. And I know that I have only my perfect tennis reflexes to thank that I can dodge the incoming object.
Water and roses are flying around. Some hit me. Luckily the vase itself flies past me. It crashes against the wall. Surely it must warn his parents, not?
“I told you to get out…”
The words are whispered. His tone venomously. I have never ever heard him like this. But then again, I have never told him anything like this either…
His reaction only was to be predicted. Why did I think that it would be any different? They’re all the same after all.
“What the hell are you looking sad for…? You’re the one who’s breaking up, no?”
How can he understand? How can I ever tell him…?
I look up and our eyes lock. I know he is right. I know I…
I open my mouth to say something. Anything, to keep him with me. But I just told him I wanted to be on a break. Then how can I ask…?
So, instead I close my mouth again and turn my head away. I can’t stand to see the pain and sadness in these beautiful eyes.
“You’re right…”
I don’t know if he heard it. He probably has. Everybody is so used to hear a firm voice. A voice that doesn’t allow contradiction. A voice that is used to get everything. Not this…Not sad, nor broken, nor resistless.
Without looking at him I walk out of his room. Out of his house, and if it wasn’t for tennis and school, out of his life. My head bowed.
Should I have looked up, I might have seen the anger replaced by surprise and the sadness replaced by something close to curiousness.
-
The next days, training passes by in a daze. I am not with my mind at whatever it is I do. It has taken my team exact five minutes to figure out something was wrong with me. It has taken the other Regulars exact one hour to find out Yuushi was involved. It has taken them exact one hour and two minutes to come to the very right conclusion.
I consider myself lucky that they are angry with me for breaking up with our tensai. And thus lucky that all of them refuse to talk to me. There is nothing I want more right now than to be left alone. Except perhaps one thing…
I steal a glance to the court he’s training at. A doubles game against Shisido and Choutarou. Gakuto at his side. Like usual.
A stab of pain pierces my heart, but of course, I won’t show it. Not that. I will never show how much my own decision hurts…
Without thinking twice I pick up my racket and carefully put it back in my bag. I have no use for it today… Like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before. Like tomorrow and the day after, and the day after…
I know the risks I’m taking with this attitude… I might lose my position as Captain. I might lose my rights to play.
Any other moment, these thoughts would have horrified me. They would have terrified me. But right now, such things cease to matter.
I don’t say a word when I stand up and walk off the courts. Their gazes are piercing my back.
-
“Why do you so stubbornly refuse to tell him? For heaven’s sake Atobe… You’ve been together for nearly a year. Are you going to let it end like this? Just like this, without doing anything…? That is not the Buchou I’ve always known and respected…”
I don’t meet his gaze. For I know he’s right. I don’t meet his eyes, for I don’t want him to see what is surfacing in mine…
“Atobe… I know you’re scared. I know it still hurts… But don’t let it end with him like it did with us… You two truly love each other. You’ve never felt what you feel with him when you were with me. I have never had the privilege to see you like he has. You’ve opened up to him in a way you’ve never done before. Don’t let it end like this…”
A soft sob escapes my lips and I feel so vulnerable. And suddenly his arms are around me. Warm and comforting. An embrace to hide myself in. An embrace that allows me to cry. An embrace that gives me strength.
“I did love you Jiro…”
A soft chuckle escapes his lips.
“I know… You once did. But never like you love him. Yuushi is something different Atobe. You know it. And I know it. I was there for you when you needed someone. I was there to share your pain and to help you. But that isn’t a base for a good and stable love relationship… That’s why it couldn’t last. We’ve both known that from the beginning…”
I lift up my head and am surprised to see him smile. It stops my intention to apologise.
“What is there to dwell on the past? We’ve had a good time together. It just wasn’t meant to be. You and Yuushi are… I moved on Atobe. I know you did too. Now it is time to move on from that as well… Don’t let it destroy something beautiful Atobe… Because that would mean you let him win…”
-
Because that would mean you let him win…
I won’t… He has destroyed me once. But I got back up. Thanks to Jiro… I finally found it in me again to love.
I close my eyes.
No, I found him and I will not allow anything or anyone to get him away from me…
I ignore the small voice in my head that tells me that I was the one who drove him away a week ago.
I know what to do. Finally I know what is the right thing to do…
My feet run on their own accord. I don’t need to guide them. They know their way over there like they know their way to the tennis courts. Because that is where I belong. On the courts, but most importantly, with him.
My breathing is heavy from running all the way. And when I ring the bell on his front door, I notice how hard my hands are shaking.
“Ah… Atobe-san… It has been such a long time ago since you’ve come to visit here. I was starting to worry that you two were having a fight…”
I smile politely when his mother lets me in. She waves her arm at the stairs.
“Yuushi is upstairs. His room probably. I trust you still know the way..?”
Her smile is the only courage I need to start walking again. However that doesn’t take away that my feet feel extremely heavy. Like I have too many weights strapped to my ankles.
I make no noise when I move up the stairs. His door is standing open. And he’s sitting on his bed. Eyes closed. The music playing. I smile when I recognise the song he’s humming. ‘Music of the Night’. He truly loves that song.
I swallow the lump that has formed itself in my throat. Yes, I am scared. Scared to face him. Scared for rejection. Scared for so many things I will never admit.
Taking a step forwards, I am about to make my presence knowable, when I suddenly see a tear roll over his face. My eyes widen and within a second I am on my knees next to his bed. My hands taking his own.
His eyes open and I can see so much in them. So much…
“Don’t cry… Please… Yuushi. I’m so sorry…”
I know he is too shocked to move, because otherwise he would have pulled his hand back the moment he saw it was me.
I don’t know what I can do or say. But I do know that tear was there because of me…
There is nothing I can do when he takes his hand out of mine. He has every right to…
“Why…?”
There is no anger in his voice. No sadness. Nothing… It sounds so empty.
“I needed to see you. I…”
He shakes his head and I pause. Knowing he just wants to finally hear the reason why I wanted to break up a week ago.
“I need to tell you, explain you. That is why I came… That is why I’m here.”
I take a couple of deep breaths. Needing to get the tension out of my body.
“You know that everything I have, everything I own, I inherited from my father. He…”
I close my eyes. Why? Why does he still have so much power over me…? Even in death…
“I’ve never had a youth. It was tennis, tennis and once more tennis. And whenever I didn’t feel like practicing or playing, whenever I wanted to just be a normal kid, he would not allow me. I needed to be what he never could have been. And he would do anything to make sure of that.”
He doesn’t react when I stop for a couple of seconds. And I look at him again.
“You remember the scar on my back?”
A nod is my only answer. It’s all I need.
“I didn’t get it because I got careless. I don’t remember what reason I gave for it so many years ago. I only know that it was a lie. My father wouldn’t take no for an answer when he said it was time to practise. And usually I would obey. That day however, there was a party over at a friend’s place. And I really wanted to go, so I kept refusing… He hit me unconscious back then. I don’t know what he hit me with that day. Something else than his hands. Because my back gleamed blood red when he had finished. I’ve never known his love.”
While I was speaking I turned my head away again. It’s so much easier to speak about it when you can pretend no one is hearing it. Because if you don’t look at a person, it seems as if that person isn’t really there.
“He had broken me after that beating. Little did I know that only a couple of months later, he would destroy me… He loved throwing parties for his friends and colleagues. You don’t know… You can’t imagine what it is, how it feels, when suddenly your father comes to carefully pick you out of your bed. I though, that one moment, I thought he was going to apologise and tell me he loved me.”
I stop again and shake my head. Damn it! I am not this weak!! My voice is vast and steady when I start again.
I look back up and see his eyes are wide open. Shocked. Tears blinking in them.
“They raped me. All of them. My father was the worst. I’ve never been able to have a decent relationship. Because of that. And I hate him for what he’s done to me.”
His hand reaches out to touch my face. Yet halfway he holds back. I don’t blame him… I wouldn’t know what to do either.
“I was afraid to tell you. Because I didn’t want to get hurt anymore. Everyone I have been involved with leaves me once. Most of the times sooner than later. That’s why… But the past week I found out that living without you is unbearable. It hurts so much more than everything else ever has. And I know I should have told you this sooner. And I know that I have no right to ask for your forgiveness. And I also know that it’s your right to never want me back and to hate me until eternity… But…”
His fingers tremble when he places them on my lips. And I can see more tears rolling down his cheeks.
“Don’t cry Yuushi…”
He chuckles softly, sadly and wraps his arms around me.
“Yes, you should have told me sooner. But I could never hate you… Not you…”
His lips are caressing my neck and I shiver in his embrace. Relieved I return his hug. Jiro was right… I can’t let him win… I am stronger than that…
The End.
AN: Oh my… ^_^;; Atobe was soooooooo out of character… ^_^; Sorry for that… I don’t know what compelled me to write this at the first place… XD;; I hope you liked it though. It turned out to be quiet different from what I originally had in mind… ^_^;;
They are still unbeta'd... ^_^;; Ah well, tell me what you think of it, please!!! XD
*Huggles*
~ Kana ~
There you go eriea. More fics to still your hunger... XD I hope you like them!!!!
TeFu: There are so many things that you should have told him. But night after night you’re willing to hold him. Just hold him. XD
I’ve never told him. Not once. I don’t know why. In my mind the words sounded real and true. But if I tried to voice them to him… I just couldn’t.
And now it’s too late. I can never tell him what I should have…
I love you.
Don’t leave me.
You are beautiful.
I never told him. Instead I’ve held him close so many times. In so many situations. My arms would always know what to do when my voice failed me.
My actions showed what I could never say to him. But he knew…
The End
AN: don’t ask me what happened to Fuji… ^_^;; I’ll leave that up to your imagination… XD
Title: Look into my eyes and tell me that this is not the way it was meant to end.
Promt: Look into my eyes and tell me that this is not the way it was meant to end.
Pairing: AtobeYuushi
Author: Kana
Warning: Euh… Out of character Atobe… ^_^;; Evil father! Angsty…
Disclamer: No, I do not own them. (Wish I did though… )
Genre: Angst / Romance
Atobe’s POV
“What are you talking about?”
His voice is calm and collected. One can say even cold. However I can hear it. The pain shimmering through. I can hear it… Of course I can. I’ve known him for so long. Loved him even longer.
“You heard me Yuushi…”
I can see his eyes widen just a little before they turn to thin slits. So much anger on a normal so composed face. My mistake… Prehaps I shouldn’t have used ‘Yuushi’…
“Get out… ‘Keigo’”
This time his voice is cold. Cold and hard and if he could, he would stab me to death with that voice.
I know that walking out of this room would be for the best of me. Yet one way or another, my feet are refusing to move. We have been through to much together to just…
Without another word he takes a couple of steps to the left. Half turning away from me. His hand takes a vase standing on the dinner table. Red roses. His slim fingers curled around the neck of the object.
His head is still turned away from me. Eyes hidden by his hair. I would do anything to just make him look at me. To explain.
“Yuushi…”
I’ve always known him to be fast, but now, in pure rage, his actions are even faster than on the court. And I know that I have only my perfect tennis reflexes to thank that I can dodge the incoming object.
Water and roses are flying around. Some hit me. Luckily the vase itself flies past me. It crashes against the wall. Surely it must warn his parents, not?
“I told you to get out…”
The words are whispered. His tone venomously. I have never ever heard him like this. But then again, I have never told him anything like this either…
His reaction only was to be predicted. Why did I think that it would be any different? They’re all the same after all.
“What the hell are you looking sad for…? You’re the one who’s breaking up, no?”
How can he understand? How can I ever tell him…?
I look up and our eyes lock. I know he is right. I know I…
I open my mouth to say something. Anything, to keep him with me. But I just told him I wanted to be on a break. Then how can I ask…?
So, instead I close my mouth again and turn my head away. I can’t stand to see the pain and sadness in these beautiful eyes.
“You’re right…”
I don’t know if he heard it. He probably has. Everybody is so used to hear a firm voice. A voice that doesn’t allow contradiction. A voice that is used to get everything. Not this…Not sad, nor broken, nor resistless.
Without looking at him I walk out of his room. Out of his house, and if it wasn’t for tennis and school, out of his life. My head bowed.
Should I have looked up, I might have seen the anger replaced by surprise and the sadness replaced by something close to curiousness.
-
The next days, training passes by in a daze. I am not with my mind at whatever it is I do. It has taken my team exact five minutes to figure out something was wrong with me. It has taken the other Regulars exact one hour to find out Yuushi was involved. It has taken them exact one hour and two minutes to come to the very right conclusion.
I consider myself lucky that they are angry with me for breaking up with our tensai. And thus lucky that all of them refuse to talk to me. There is nothing I want more right now than to be left alone. Except perhaps one thing…
I steal a glance to the court he’s training at. A doubles game against Shisido and Choutarou. Gakuto at his side. Like usual.
A stab of pain pierces my heart, but of course, I won’t show it. Not that. I will never show how much my own decision hurts…
Without thinking twice I pick up my racket and carefully put it back in my bag. I have no use for it today… Like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before. Like tomorrow and the day after, and the day after…
I know the risks I’m taking with this attitude… I might lose my position as Captain. I might lose my rights to play.
Any other moment, these thoughts would have horrified me. They would have terrified me. But right now, such things cease to matter.
I don’t say a word when I stand up and walk off the courts. Their gazes are piercing my back.
-
“Why do you so stubbornly refuse to tell him? For heaven’s sake Atobe… You’ve been together for nearly a year. Are you going to let it end like this? Just like this, without doing anything…? That is not the Buchou I’ve always known and respected…”
I don’t meet his gaze. For I know he’s right. I don’t meet his eyes, for I don’t want him to see what is surfacing in mine…
“Atobe… I know you’re scared. I know it still hurts… But don’t let it end with him like it did with us… You two truly love each other. You’ve never felt what you feel with him when you were with me. I have never had the privilege to see you like he has. You’ve opened up to him in a way you’ve never done before. Don’t let it end like this…”
A soft sob escapes my lips and I feel so vulnerable. And suddenly his arms are around me. Warm and comforting. An embrace to hide myself in. An embrace that allows me to cry. An embrace that gives me strength.
“I did love you Jiro…”
A soft chuckle escapes his lips.
“I know… You once did. But never like you love him. Yuushi is something different Atobe. You know it. And I know it. I was there for you when you needed someone. I was there to share your pain and to help you. But that isn’t a base for a good and stable love relationship… That’s why it couldn’t last. We’ve both known that from the beginning…”
I lift up my head and am surprised to see him smile. It stops my intention to apologise.
“What is there to dwell on the past? We’ve had a good time together. It just wasn’t meant to be. You and Yuushi are… I moved on Atobe. I know you did too. Now it is time to move on from that as well… Don’t let it destroy something beautiful Atobe… Because that would mean you let him win…”
-
Because that would mean you let him win…
I won’t… He has destroyed me once. But I got back up. Thanks to Jiro… I finally found it in me again to love.
I close my eyes.
No, I found him and I will not allow anything or anyone to get him away from me…
I ignore the small voice in my head that tells me that I was the one who drove him away a week ago.
I know what to do. Finally I know what is the right thing to do…
My feet run on their own accord. I don’t need to guide them. They know their way over there like they know their way to the tennis courts. Because that is where I belong. On the courts, but most importantly, with him.
My breathing is heavy from running all the way. And when I ring the bell on his front door, I notice how hard my hands are shaking.
“Ah… Atobe-san… It has been such a long time ago since you’ve come to visit here. I was starting to worry that you two were having a fight…”
I smile politely when his mother lets me in. She waves her arm at the stairs.
“Yuushi is upstairs. His room probably. I trust you still know the way..?”
Her smile is the only courage I need to start walking again. However that doesn’t take away that my feet feel extremely heavy. Like I have too many weights strapped to my ankles.
I make no noise when I move up the stairs. His door is standing open. And he’s sitting on his bed. Eyes closed. The music playing. I smile when I recognise the song he’s humming. ‘Music of the Night’. He truly loves that song.
I swallow the lump that has formed itself in my throat. Yes, I am scared. Scared to face him. Scared for rejection. Scared for so many things I will never admit.
Taking a step forwards, I am about to make my presence knowable, when I suddenly see a tear roll over his face. My eyes widen and within a second I am on my knees next to his bed. My hands taking his own.
His eyes open and I can see so much in them. So much…
“Don’t cry… Please… Yuushi. I’m so sorry…”
I know he is too shocked to move, because otherwise he would have pulled his hand back the moment he saw it was me.
I don’t know what I can do or say. But I do know that tear was there because of me…
There is nothing I can do when he takes his hand out of mine. He has every right to…
“Why…?”
There is no anger in his voice. No sadness. Nothing… It sounds so empty.
“I needed to see you. I…”
He shakes his head and I pause. Knowing he just wants to finally hear the reason why I wanted to break up a week ago.
“I need to tell you, explain you. That is why I came… That is why I’m here.”
I take a couple of deep breaths. Needing to get the tension out of my body.
“You know that everything I have, everything I own, I inherited from my father. He…”
I close my eyes. Why? Why does he still have so much power over me…? Even in death…
“I’ve never had a youth. It was tennis, tennis and once more tennis. And whenever I didn’t feel like practicing or playing, whenever I wanted to just be a normal kid, he would not allow me. I needed to be what he never could have been. And he would do anything to make sure of that.”
He doesn’t react when I stop for a couple of seconds. And I look at him again.
“You remember the scar on my back?”
A nod is my only answer. It’s all I need.
“I didn’t get it because I got careless. I don’t remember what reason I gave for it so many years ago. I only know that it was a lie. My father wouldn’t take no for an answer when he said it was time to practise. And usually I would obey. That day however, there was a party over at a friend’s place. And I really wanted to go, so I kept refusing… He hit me unconscious back then. I don’t know what he hit me with that day. Something else than his hands. Because my back gleamed blood red when he had finished. I’ve never known his love.”
While I was speaking I turned my head away again. It’s so much easier to speak about it when you can pretend no one is hearing it. Because if you don’t look at a person, it seems as if that person isn’t really there.
“He had broken me after that beating. Little did I know that only a couple of months later, he would destroy me… He loved throwing parties for his friends and colleagues. You don’t know… You can’t imagine what it is, how it feels, when suddenly your father comes to carefully pick you out of your bed. I though, that one moment, I thought he was going to apologise and tell me he loved me.”
I stop again and shake my head. Damn it! I am not this weak!! My voice is vast and steady when I start again.
I look back up and see his eyes are wide open. Shocked. Tears blinking in them.
“They raped me. All of them. My father was the worst. I’ve never been able to have a decent relationship. Because of that. And I hate him for what he’s done to me.”
His hand reaches out to touch my face. Yet halfway he holds back. I don’t blame him… I wouldn’t know what to do either.
“I was afraid to tell you. Because I didn’t want to get hurt anymore. Everyone I have been involved with leaves me once. Most of the times sooner than later. That’s why… But the past week I found out that living without you is unbearable. It hurts so much more than everything else ever has. And I know I should have told you this sooner. And I know that I have no right to ask for your forgiveness. And I also know that it’s your right to never want me back and to hate me until eternity… But…”
His fingers tremble when he places them on my lips. And I can see more tears rolling down his cheeks.
“Don’t cry Yuushi…”
He chuckles softly, sadly and wraps his arms around me.
“Yes, you should have told me sooner. But I could never hate you… Not you…”
His lips are caressing my neck and I shiver in his embrace. Relieved I return his hug. Jiro was right… I can’t let him win… I am stronger than that…
The End.
AN: Oh my… ^_^;; Atobe was soooooooo out of character… ^_^; Sorry for that… I don’t know what compelled me to write this at the first place… XD;; I hope you liked it though. It turned out to be quiet different from what I originally had in mind… ^_^;;
They are still unbeta'd... ^_^;; Ah well, tell me what you think of it, please!!! XD
*Huggles*
~ Kana ~