it's still my journal, you know.
People will always have an issue with making pain public. Some say it's because it makes people uncomfortable, and some say that it's an issue of privacy. Still others find it a sign of weakness and turn away in disgust. Guess what, folks - it's my journal and you don't have to read it. If it gets me through another day then what of it?
I want to ask, you see. And it really is none of my business. Of course I'll hold my tongue. I don't ask after you, I don't ask friends what they think, I don't offer information or seek it out anymore. But that doesn't mean I don't want to.
I want to know you're ok, if you've taken your meds and vitamins in the morning and if you remembered your jacket. I want to know who's important in your life and how you're feeling, and what you think of this or that. I want to still be able to comfort you from the things nobody knows you suffer from, I still want to reassure you and encourage you.
But it's not my business anymore. I know you can be cruel when you cut people off but I also know it's what you need, what you want. So I respect that distance, but I want what I want. Unrealistic as it may be, or inappropriate. I hate that I cannot kill what I feel.
I realize that if I could stop weeping in the mornings, then my work would be done so much earlier.
I want to ask, you see. And it really is none of my business. Of course I'll hold my tongue. I don't ask after you, I don't ask friends what they think, I don't offer information or seek it out anymore. But that doesn't mean I don't want to.
I want to know you're ok, if you've taken your meds and vitamins in the morning and if you remembered your jacket. I want to know who's important in your life and how you're feeling, and what you think of this or that. I want to still be able to comfort you from the things nobody knows you suffer from, I still want to reassure you and encourage you.
But it's not my business anymore. I know you can be cruel when you cut people off but I also know it's what you need, what you want. So I respect that distance, but I want what I want. Unrealistic as it may be, or inappropriate. I hate that I cannot kill what I feel.
I realize that if I could stop weeping in the mornings, then my work would be done so much earlier.