*sigh*
Well, as a lot of you know from reading Dans' journal, I broke up with him. I know that now I'm going to look like the Bad person because I'm the one that did the breaking...
I feel horrible. I really do. I feel like a total and complete heel. I never wanted to hurt him. I know that there was no easy way for me to have done that...and if he hates me, maybe thats better than him being hurt. Maybe if he hates me he'll move on faster...
My life has just been one mistake after another. I'm not saying that my relationship with Dan was a mistake, I'm just saying that my rushing into a relationship so soon after Mat was a mistake. I don't really trust as well as I used to because of Mat. My innocence is shattered. I no longer believe in love the way I used to, but I still live with that stupid hope...
*sigh* Oh Goddess, and I mean, if that wasnt enough, my parents have been on my case lately. My mother's always telling me how I'm changing and becoming more distant, when really, I don't think I've changed at all. She's also completely taking away any semblance of privacy that I have. She reads my emails, checks all of the websites I visit, which really, I don't mind that so much because I don't go to any bad sites, and reads this journal. I can't really write whats on my mind any more because then she'd have some comment on it and...well...*GAH!!* It's just frustrating...
In other words, I hate my life.
I feel horrible. I really do. I feel like a total and complete heel. I never wanted to hurt him. I know that there was no easy way for me to have done that...and if he hates me, maybe thats better than him being hurt. Maybe if he hates me he'll move on faster...
My life has just been one mistake after another. I'm not saying that my relationship with Dan was a mistake, I'm just saying that my rushing into a relationship so soon after Mat was a mistake. I don't really trust as well as I used to because of Mat. My innocence is shattered. I no longer believe in love the way I used to, but I still live with that stupid hope...
*sigh* Oh Goddess, and I mean, if that wasnt enough, my parents have been on my case lately. My mother's always telling me how I'm changing and becoming more distant, when really, I don't think I've changed at all. She's also completely taking away any semblance of privacy that I have. She reads my emails, checks all of the websites I visit, which really, I don't mind that so much because I don't go to any bad sites, and reads this journal. I can't really write whats on my mind any more because then she'd have some comment on it and...well...*GAH!!* It's just frustrating...
In other words, I hate my life.