Today is a writing kind of day
Ive been suffering the ache of pain slowly seeping back into its rightful place and events and importance finding its original bearings on my compass. Do we lose hope as we grow older? Is that part of life, when you realize you are only destined to perish with nothing in your life lasting. It seems that each day that passes is one thing I didn't do but should have, one person who moved away that I grew to love and care for. Each week the heart of an old friend grows cold to me as they succumb to life's demoralizing spiral. Each week I regret an integral part of my day to day, and wishing that things could have been different. Its as if I am being pushed forward by a moving wall but running forward only sends me in the wrong direction.
Why do I feel so miserable when things are moving along no different than before. Why do I worry and fear that I may not being doing things the right way? If life had a board of directors I would barge into their office with a handgun and demand a reasonable explanation.
It would even seem that love has led me to a cold and desolate plain, where I am not alone but would feel more myself if I were absolutely and utterly without a human's affection. I occasionally wander through the dusty library of my past and look at old memories, dear friends, old loves I wish I hadn't let slip by me, situations that I shined in and days that made me suffer and cry. When did they stop being in front of me and are now behind me. I wish I knew even a little.
Why do I feel so miserable when things are moving along no different than before. Why do I worry and fear that I may not being doing things the right way? If life had a board of directors I would barge into their office with a handgun and demand a reasonable explanation.
It would even seem that love has led me to a cold and desolate plain, where I am not alone but would feel more myself if I were absolutely and utterly without a human's affection. I occasionally wander through the dusty library of my past and look at old memories, dear friends, old loves I wish I hadn't let slip by me, situations that I shined in and days that made me suffer and cry. When did they stop being in front of me and are now behind me. I wish I knew even a little.