(no subject)
I decided to write about something near and dear to my heart, something i struggle with probably daily. Most people when they read this will react in one of two ways.. the achieved and ambitious will think I am an idiot, limiting myself to mediocrity. The other half, the less mentally endowed will most likely agree with my current choice, while Im far from convinced which side of the issue I truly believe... sorry for the lengthy introduction, here is my dilemma..
Thankfully, while some people may think otherwise, I was blessed with a fair amount of intelligence. This blessing has ultimately been my curse aswell. I have been able to reason myself out of trying to do well in school. I can narrow most of my arguments for this lack of effort down to a specific thing... walden.. Walden, and basically the whole transcendentalist unit, affected me profoundly. Before that point, I had to wallow in shame in the fact that I was a slacker... With Walden however, it gave me an unconscious defense with which to wage war with myself. See this is my feeling. I only do well in school in the things that interest me, the things that I want to learn. This is primarily English and History, not to brag, but I take AP history and Honors english, this is just a small defense for my ability once I put my mind to it. The other subjects though, I take CP classes and do just enough work to keep it above a b-. My parents, my over-achieving best friends, they think I am a fucking idiot for wasting my smarts like that. Deep down I know I am too, but I just cant reason myself to work harder, and its all because on damn paragraph.
"Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed and in such desperate enterprises? If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. It is not important that he should mature as soon as an apple tree or an oak. Shall he turn his spring into summer? If the condition of things which we were made for is not yet, what were any reality which we can substitute? We will not be shipwrecked on a vain reality. Shall we with pains erect a heaven of blue glass over ourselves, though when it is done we shall be sure to gaze still at the true ethereal heaven far above, as if the former were not?"-Walden
I think that society has forgotten what is important, or rather, placed emphasis on the wrong type of success. Success is now measured by the cars in our garage and our alma matters, not the strength of our character and the wealth of our knowledge. Peoples most common statement to me when they hear my lunacy is that I am closing options to myself and I might not always feel this way. I can say nothing but you're absolutely right, I am an idiot for doing this to myself. Let me be an idiot, my own mistakes will make me a better person. People say that if I dont do well in my all important junior year in high school, I'll just be another mediocre middle man, a cubicle bee. Well that may be true, but I dont know the names of most of these rich obscure business men. I do know the name of great authors and humanitarians, however. Granted, I will never be a Thoreau or Emerson, but dont stop me before I even try. The one truth I have learned during my life is that no matter how well you prepare or how much you think you know the way that things work our, they will never work out the way you seem they will. Life is all about chances, we are always one step away from talking to the right person or being in the right place at the right time. I may be limiting my chances by getting a C+ in chemistry, but dont limit my chance to figure that out for myself.
I am not saying that I am above materialistic thing, of course I want to go on a cruise, of course I want to play Halo 2. But imagine the knowledge you could gain if you spent your hours reading the classics instead of crunching numbers. Think of the family you could have if you dedicated your waking hours to your children instead of some asshole boss.
Read the paragraph again, you can say that Thoreau was deranged or simplistic all you please, but we're studying him, not the valedictorian of Dover High School (sorry james, you know you'll be great)..
I do not say that John or Jonathan (24) will realize all this; but such is the character of that morrow which mere lapse of time can never make to dawn. The light which puts out our eyes is darkness to us. Only that day dawns to which we are awake. There is more day to dawn. The sun is but a morning star.
Thankfully, while some people may think otherwise, I was blessed with a fair amount of intelligence. This blessing has ultimately been my curse aswell. I have been able to reason myself out of trying to do well in school. I can narrow most of my arguments for this lack of effort down to a specific thing... walden.. Walden, and basically the whole transcendentalist unit, affected me profoundly. Before that point, I had to wallow in shame in the fact that I was a slacker... With Walden however, it gave me an unconscious defense with which to wage war with myself. See this is my feeling. I only do well in school in the things that interest me, the things that I want to learn. This is primarily English and History, not to brag, but I take AP history and Honors english, this is just a small defense for my ability once I put my mind to it. The other subjects though, I take CP classes and do just enough work to keep it above a b-. My parents, my over-achieving best friends, they think I am a fucking idiot for wasting my smarts like that. Deep down I know I am too, but I just cant reason myself to work harder, and its all because on damn paragraph.
"Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed and in such desperate enterprises? If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. It is not important that he should mature as soon as an apple tree or an oak. Shall he turn his spring into summer? If the condition of things which we were made for is not yet, what were any reality which we can substitute? We will not be shipwrecked on a vain reality. Shall we with pains erect a heaven of blue glass over ourselves, though when it is done we shall be sure to gaze still at the true ethereal heaven far above, as if the former were not?"-Walden
I think that society has forgotten what is important, or rather, placed emphasis on the wrong type of success. Success is now measured by the cars in our garage and our alma matters, not the strength of our character and the wealth of our knowledge. Peoples most common statement to me when they hear my lunacy is that I am closing options to myself and I might not always feel this way. I can say nothing but you're absolutely right, I am an idiot for doing this to myself. Let me be an idiot, my own mistakes will make me a better person. People say that if I dont do well in my all important junior year in high school, I'll just be another mediocre middle man, a cubicle bee. Well that may be true, but I dont know the names of most of these rich obscure business men. I do know the name of great authors and humanitarians, however. Granted, I will never be a Thoreau or Emerson, but dont stop me before I even try. The one truth I have learned during my life is that no matter how well you prepare or how much you think you know the way that things work our, they will never work out the way you seem they will. Life is all about chances, we are always one step away from talking to the right person or being in the right place at the right time. I may be limiting my chances by getting a C+ in chemistry, but dont limit my chance to figure that out for myself.
I am not saying that I am above materialistic thing, of course I want to go on a cruise, of course I want to play Halo 2. But imagine the knowledge you could gain if you spent your hours reading the classics instead of crunching numbers. Think of the family you could have if you dedicated your waking hours to your children instead of some asshole boss.
Read the paragraph again, you can say that Thoreau was deranged or simplistic all you please, but we're studying him, not the valedictorian of Dover High School (sorry james, you know you'll be great)..
I do not say that John or Jonathan (24) will realize all this; but such is the character of that morrow which mere lapse of time can never make to dawn. The light which puts out our eyes is darkness to us. Only that day dawns to which we are awake. There is more day to dawn. The sun is but a morning star.