Why I Feel This Way - 13/20
Title: Why I Feel This Way
Rating: R
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine
Spoilers: AU
Warnings: Pet!Blaine, typos and grammatical errors
Summary: Sequel to " Man's Best Friend" which you should definitely read first. After being reunited with Blaine, Kurt is beyond ecstatic, but life with pet turned lover in the Big Apple isn't exactly what Kurt had hoped for.
Author's Note: Alright, so, at first I decided on 17 chapters but I'm thinking this'll probably take 20 to completely wrap up. I'm not certain, yet, though. I have everything plotted out, but sometimes I get wordier or less wordy in places than originally planned. But, I thought if I gave you an estimate of chapters, it would help you get a sense of the ending being in sight. Anyway, YAY, two updates in 24 hours. Bake me a cake! ;)
Though Rachel had put on a brave face to sing them her song, once she had disappeared into her bedroom that afternoon, she didn’t come back out. Blaine and Kurt ate a late supper together and then cuddled up on Kurt’s bed in the comforter to watch a DVD on Kurt’s laptop. Blaine rested his head on Kurt’s chest and cuddled in close, only giving the movie part of his attention as he took one of Kurt’s hands in his own to play with. They fell asleep like that, huddled close on the bed with the laptop in front of them. Kurt woke up later in the night and put the laptop away before carefully arranging Blaine on the bed in a more comfortable way, tucking the blanket around him before crawling in next to him.
Kurt was up early the next morning to get ready for work. He showered, shaved and moisturized before getting dressed in a simplistic but stylish ensemble. Knowing he’d have to wear an apron all day, he limited his layers and accessories. Rachel had play practise that afternoon and, supposedly, an actual job interview that morning, so Kurt made Blaine a lunch and set it to one side in the refrigerator before making himself some breakfast. Blaine groggily stumbled out of the bedroom a few minutes before Kurt had to leave for work. Kurt pulled out some cereal for him to have for breakfast before giving him a quick hug and showing him where his lunch sat in the fridge. Then Kurt was stepping into his shoes and out the door leaving Blaine in a quiet apartment to find his own ways to amuse himself for the day.
Kurt felt a pang of guilt as he locked the front door of the apartment. He hated leaving Blaine in lonely silence and it was only going to continue and when classes started back up, it would be even worse. He sighed to himself and got into the apartment elevator that took him down to the main floor. Leaving the building, he started his walk to Cafe Noir.
It was a busy morning and time went by quickly for Kurt as he struggled to remember everything he had been taught in such a short time. Danielle was working with him that morning and helped him a lot, but not without a few frustrated sighs and a couple eye rolls when he would get confused during simple tasks. Kurt tried not to let it get to him, repetition was what he needed to be able to remember everything and with busy mornings like this one, he’d soon have enough repetition to have him filling coffee orders in his sleep.
When another employee arrived to start their 11:00 shift, he was allowed to take his lunch break. He went into the back room and hung up his apron before grabbing the brown paper bag that housed his homemade lunch. When he stepped back out into the front of the shop, Shawn was standing in line for coffee. Kurt smiled brightly at him when his bright green eyes sparkled in his direction. Shawn grinned back and gave him a bubbly little wave.
Kurt found a vacant table by the window and took a seat. He pulled out his container of mushroom rice pilaf that was leftover from his supper the night before. Shawn joined him moments later with a bright smile on his face. Kurt couldn’t help but appreciate the tight white jeans Shawn was wearing that day. He was thin and even with such a short stature, quite leggy. His ass, though, was definitely one of his best physical assets.
“How are you, today?” asked Shawn as he took his seat across the small table, he was grinning in a way that told Kurt he had caught him admiring.
“Good and you?” responded Kurt with a polite smile, though he could feel his cheeks pinking as he silently scolded himself for so blatantly checking Shawn out.
“Better, now,” replied Shawn a little flirtatiously as he smiled adoringly Kurt’s direction.
If they hadn’t been flushed with colour before, Kurt’s cheeks were definitely pink after the way Shawn had just smiled at him. He couldn’t believe someone could possibly be so enamoured with him. He thought back to the night at the club when Nicholas had teasingly given away the fact that Shawn had gushed to him about Kurt before.
“So, Kurt, was this your first year of college?” asked Shawn, probably wondering why Kurt was suddenly looking so awkward.
“Yes,” replied Kurt with a nod. “Fresh out of high school.”
“Aw, just a baby,” teased Shawn before taking a sip of his coffee.
“How about you?” asked Kurt as he dug his fork into his rice.
“Fifth year of academics, but first one at FAIT,” replied Shawn with a smile. “I got my degree in journalism first. I want to be a fashion journalist. I’m just getting my diploma in fashion so that I’ll know what I’m talking about.”
“Wow,” replied Kurt with interest. “So, you’ll be the paparazzi at the big Paris and Milan runway shows.”
Shawn scoffed good-naturedly at Kurt’s cheeky ‘paparazzi’ comment but didn’t argue it.
“Paris, London, Milan, Tokyo, New York, Rome,” Shawn listed the cities on his fingers with growing excitement. “It’ll involve all my favorite things; travel, journalism, and fashion.”
Kurt let out a dreamy sigh.
“That will be amazing,” he replied.
“What about you?” asked Shawn after taking another drink. “What are you in for?”
“Sounds like prison when you say it that way,” laughed Kurt. “I’m getting my degree in fashion design and hopefully will be able to work for some high end company. Eventually, though, I want to design my own line.”
“That would be amazing, Kurt,” exclaimed Shawn with a bright smile. “Perhaps one day I’ll be at your show, trying to think of all the synonyms for stunning while I take notes for my review.”
“I guess I should butter you up now so that I’ll get shining reviews when that happens,” replied Kurt with a bright smile.
Kurt faltered for a moment when he realized just how flirtatious he had just come off. He couldn’t help but feel flattered by Shawn’s interest in him, but he had to keep things nothing by friendly between them. There was Blaine to think about. Shawn must have noticed Kurt’s sudden change in mood, because he frowned before lifting his coffee cup to his lips. He cleared his throat nervously after setting his cup back down on the table.
“So,” he said, grasping for something to fill the sudden awkward silence. “Have you heard anything through the artsy grapevine about Prof Gabriner’s upcoming summer show? He’s been keeping the theme under tight wraps this year.”
“He asked my... uh... my roommate to model for one of his pieces for it, actually,” replied Kurt between bites of his lunch.
“Really?” replied Shawn, his interest piquing. “So, you must know a little something about what he’s doing!”
“I don’t, actually,” replied Kurt with a small smile and a shake of his head. “When he brought up the modeling, though, he said it wouldn’t be like a regular sitting.”
Shawn hummed thoughtfully at that, tapping his pointer finger to his chin.
“It seems like Mr. Gabriner is kind of popular in the art community,” mused Kurt, tilting his head to the side as if asking Shawn to confirm.
Shawn chuckled good-naturedly.
“He’s kind of a big deal,” he replied. “He’s so... so strange. Some people say he’s just a goof, but most take him pretty seriously. He usually sells out his shows pretty quick and his pieces sell for quite a lot. We’re lucky to have him teaching at our school.”
Kurt nodded his head.
“When I was studying at NYU, I was given the opportunity to write a piece about one of Mr. Garbriner’s installations that spring. I think it was two springs ago? Anyway, a photo journalist and I were teamed up on the little article,” regaled Shawn. “Right as the snow melted, Mr. Garbriner went out to Central Park and gathered up all the garbage that had been uncovered. He tied each piece of garbage to strings and hung them from the trees. It was some sort of statement, I can’t remember the explanation he gave me but I’ll never get the image of those trees decorated in garbage out of my mind. There was a big tizzy about it in the papers and on the news about it being in bad taste. Anyhow, Mr. Garbriner has always been a bit eccentric but it serves him well.”
“Wow,” breathed out Kurt, shaking his head and grinning. “I would have loved to see that.”
“I’ll have to show you my article some time, it’s one of the pieces I kept for my portfolio,” said Shawn. “Jessica, the photo journalist student who came with me, took some amazing photos of it.”
“Have you always lived in New York?” asked Kurt.
Shawn laughed in response, his cheeks pinking a little.
“No, unfortunately,” he replied. “I’m actually from South Dakota.”
Kurt let out a whistle.
“And I thought Ohio was bad,” teased Kurt.
“You have no idea,” breathed out Shawn, giving Kurt a mock grave look.
They talked for a while longer, telling each other a little about themselves, talking about shared experiences in college, and making snappy little comments as they people-watched from their table. It was near the end of Kurt’s lunch break and he had finished his rice while listening to Shawn complain about his roommate when Kurt’s cell began ringing.
“Sorry,” said Kurt picking it up to answer.
“Kurt!” exclaimed Rachel the second he answered the call.
“Rachel?” replied Kurt in surprise. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Blaine,” she said anxiously. “I came home for lunch and we made a lovely Coba, Sesame and Carrot salad. Blaine loved it by the way, you should consider having him go vegan, it would be...”
“The point, Rachel?” cut in Kurt.
“Right, so, we were doing the dishes afterward and playing around with the suds,” she explained breathlessly. “I accidently got some in my eye. It was stinging and I was blindly groping around for the towel and I... well, I don’t know if that’s why he freaked out, it seems so strange for him to get so upset over a little brush of the finger tips, but I just don’t know what else it would have been. Kurt! He looked absolutely terrified and the little sob he made before he ran out. I tried to go to him, but he doesn’t want me near him.”
“Okay, Rachel,” said Kurt, the colour effectively drained from his face by that point in the phone call. “I don’t know what you’re saying, are you trying to tell me that Blaine’s hurt?”
“No, no, no,” answered Rachel quickly. “Not hurt, just, I don’t know... scared, maybe.”
“He’s okay, though?” asked Kurt, worry tainting his voice. “I’m at work, Rachel.”
“I know you’re at work, Kurt,” sighed Rachel, the worry in her voice obvious. “I really don’t know what to do about Blaine, though. He doesn’t want me around him since I’m the whole who scared him. He’s shut himself in your room and was just trembling when I went to check on him. I have to leave in a bit for play practise but I don’t want to leave him like this. Kurt, please? Just say it’s a family emergency or something. I know it won’t look good with you being so new and all, but he’s trembling, Kurt.”
“I’m coming now,” replied Kurt, packing up his lunch container.
“Is everything alright?” asked Shawn when hung up his cell.
Kurt opened his mouth to reply but then realized he didn’t know how to explain it to Shawn. He picked up his paper bag and stood from the table.
“No one’s dying or anything,” Kurt managed. “They just need me at home. I... uh... I’m sorry to just run off like this, Shawn.”
“No, that’s fine, your lunch break was practically over anyway,” replied Shawn, standing from the table, too. “It was really nice spending time with you, Kurt. I hope everything works out at home and with work.”
“I don’t imagine they’ll be impressed with me leaving my third shift early,” admitted Kurt.
His nerves about it must have been obvious because Shawn grabbed his shoulder and gave it a little squeeze.
“Everyone has lives outside of work,” soothed Shawn with a smile. “I’m sure they’ll understand.”
Biting his lip nervously, Kurt nodded.
“I’ll see you around, Kurt,” said Shawn, still smiling.
Kurt nodded again, managing a parting smile. As he watched Shawn leave, he wondered idly if Shawn’s face ever hurt from the sheer amount of smiling he did in a day. Then Kurt’s treacherous mind asked him if perhaps Shawn only smiled that much when he was around Kurt. He frowned at the thought.
------------------------
Kurt’s boss had not been impressed when he had told her he had to leave, but she had grudgingly let him go. It was a relief to Kurt when she had asked him if he would still be showing up for his afternoon shift the next day. It meant that she wasn’t planning on firing him. Kurt quickly assured her that, yes, he would be for his next shift.
He hurried home at a brisk walk, jogging in places. He arrived in the apartment not long after, out of breath and red in the face. Rachel was waiting for him. She quickly jumped up from where she had been sitting at the dining room table biting her fingernails.
“Where is he?” asked Kurt, kicking off his shoes and dropping his bag to the ground.
“Hiding in your room,” she replied.
“Okay, so, what happened?” asked Kurt, staring down the hall towards his bedroom while he waited anxiously for Rachel to explain.
“We were doing dishes and I got soap suds in my eye,” replied Rachel, her voice shrill and anxious. “I was groping around for a dish towel or something to dry my face and I accidently groped him.”
“He flipped out because you touched his crotch?” asked Kurt in surprise.
“Well, he flipped out after that, so I can only assume,” answered Rachel, nodding. “He jumped back and made a sound of surprise. I reached for him to say I was sorry because he just sounded so upset by it, and I ended up bumping his front again. It was one of those comedic moments where the main character keeps making the same mistake over and over again as the audience roars with laughter. By then he was beyond words mortified and upset. I just wanted to tell him I was sorry but I tried to reach for his hand and ended up grabbing his butt. It was epic bad luck.”
“And now he is hiding in my room thinking you were trying to... what... get into his pants?” asked Kurt in disbelief.
“I know it sounds ridiculous,” replied Rachel, nodding at Kurt’s question. “But he looks absolutely terrified, Kurt. He’s in there trembling and when I went in to try to make things right, he started sobbing.”
“Sobbing?” repeated Kurt in surprise. “Like actual human crying noises?”
Rachel nodded; her brown eyes bright and wide. She looked like she might start crying, herself.
“It will be okay, Rachel,” sighed Kurt reaching to pat her arm.
Instead of letting Kurt simply pat her arm, though, she threw her arms around him and gave him a tight hug.
“I feel so awful,” she cried out. “The look of betrayal on his face broke my heart, Kurt!”
Kurt awkwardly patted Rachel’s back and she squeezed him so tightly that he thought he might lose his breath. When she let him go, he took a step back to keep himself from being taken by surprise again in the case Rachel decided she needed another hug.
“Get ready for play practise,” Kurt directed. “I’ll worry about Blaine.”
Rachel nodded her head, her eyes looking a little moist.
“I’m sorry,” she said before heading to her own room.
Kurt took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he slowly let it out through his nose. Once he felt a little more centered, he made his way down the short hall toward his bedroom. He knocked on his bedroom door and called out to Blaine softly before pushing the door open and stepping inside.