musings of a mornon
It is difficult to just sit down and write again, It has been so many years since I last did. I havent sat down and seriously wrote anything meaningful since I was last in high school. In some ways in my own mind I think the last time I was writing like that was when I went through a long and very serious bout of stress, depression and anxiety. That was what epitomised the last two years of my schooling. In many ways I have not wanted to write for the past three and a half years or so. I have at times felt the urge but I have not bee4n able to put anything down on paper.
I think that was because I associated my writing with my state of mind, not wanting to revisit that state of mind I have not written. That part of my creative output has been stymied. Even now I sit here and care4fully pore over each word carefully measuring and weighing each one before I type. Yet funnily enough this is the most freely expressive piece of writing I have put to paper (or print) since August of 1998 and it is still not my usual style of writing, I am bug on self examination, but not in writing. I go over certain events and passages of my life in my mind and think of what I would have said and done differently. I like to learn from my mistakes, I like to feel I learn from all my mistakes, and when presented with any set of circumstances I carefully weigh up the options and carefully examine the consequences in my mi9nd, what I think is fair for the other persons/s involved, and what is best for me.
I would be lying if I said I had not regrets about things that have happened to and because of my in the last 21 odd years. But I like to think that presented with similar situation again, I would be more careful and cautious in my decisions, leading to an outcome that I will not live to regret.. I will take as much time I can to make a decision
I think that was because I associated my writing with my state of mind, not wanting to revisit that state of mind I have not written. That part of my creative output has been stymied. Even now I sit here and care4fully pore over each word carefully measuring and weighing each one before I type. Yet funnily enough this is the most freely expressive piece of writing I have put to paper (or print) since August of 1998 and it is still not my usual style of writing, I am bug on self examination, but not in writing. I go over certain events and passages of my life in my mind and think of what I would have said and done differently. I like to learn from my mistakes, I like to feel I learn from all my mistakes, and when presented with any set of circumstances I carefully weigh up the options and carefully examine the consequences in my mi9nd, what I think is fair for the other persons/s involved, and what is best for me.
I would be lying if I said I had not regrets about things that have happened to and because of my in the last 21 odd years. But I like to think that presented with similar situation again, I would be more careful and cautious in my decisions, leading to an outcome that I will not live to regret.. I will take as much time I can to make a decision