Love Finally?
Hah, fooled you all, no i didnt meet someone that completes the other half or in nerd speak, my integral to my differentiated equation (hahah soooo bad if you get this joke). Nah, i guess the reason why im posting is well ... to just throw this shit out there in the great sea of da intarweb. I finally unlinked my LJ to my facebook page now so no one can hear my insane blatherings. This was due to the fact that alot of co workers were added to my friends list and well although i love them all dearly, i dont think they would take well to my previous rantings on teaching.
Anyways, I digress, the whole point of this particular title for this post is that i just saw Nick and Norah's Infinite playlist. Normally i dont usually go and watch this stuff but a buddy of mine wanted to see it (for the music apparantly) and since i was snoring all during the cruise last week and kept him up, id thought id pay him back. Suffice to say i was quite thoroughly surprised by the movie, it was funny, it was truthful and it was a love story that wasnt soo cheese that it would make you puke. For those who havent seen it, go and watch it pronto, its defintely an enjoyable movie with a tad bit of bitterness to add to the flavour. (oh and the small cameo by John Cho helped).
The reason why i guess this movie also hit me pretty hard was that ive been living in a pretty long drought in the relationship department, and by long i mean sahara desert long. Lately, i got the courage to muster another try at them crazy online services (going for the eharmony line in hopes of an acutal match not based on looks). Anyways, like usual i got alot of misses despite being "matched" with similar people using their "system". It sometimes makes me wonder either a) im doing something wrong in my profile or b) there really is a asian man hate syndrome going on. Both options i dont like at all.
However, i did get matched with someone from Toronto and she did message me back. So this lifted my spirits up quite a bit and defintely got me into the giddy school girl stage. Anyways as the story moved on we got to talking quite a bit and it was going pretty good up until (yes theres always an until point). Until she started sending responses a week or more later. Now im not an attention whore by any means nor do i expect peopel to respond to me right away but a week later was a bit too much i found and so i started questioning whether she was interested at all. So i got the response and it was a short one about how shes been busy at work (social worker) and i can defintely understand busy tho i havent known it for quite awhile. And messaged her back saying, i defintely understand just message me when you come out of the busy stage of whatever is going on, hell i could have even helped (you know that whole supporting partner thing, i didnt think that was a myth). But apparantly i didnt make a good enough pitch and next thing you know after coming back from my cruise BAM the match was closed.
Yeah i know, investing in something that really didnt have any true points of a good outcome isnt the best idea but i mean ones gotta have hope (at least once in their life). So now im back on the singles road, walking along waving hello to all the nice couples. Its not that im bitter about everyone else being happy, id say im just more frustrated than ever. I mean how does one find love in the first place? In Nick + Norahs (blah blah blah) it seemed like quite the random act. Being a mathematician, i honestly hate random probabilities, theres no logic to the problem, its just all up to chance (which at times can be good if ur doing well at the roulette table). I mean, is that caveat that theres an alpha to every omega really true? or is it some bullshit answer that desperate lonely people make to nourish the idea of hope?
So yeah to end this night, i defintely feel mixed, im obviously not feeling bright and happy but neither am i super down in the dumps. Its almost like im on the precipice of accepting life long loneliness. Ahh well? what to do...
Anyways, I digress, the whole point of this particular title for this post is that i just saw Nick and Norah's Infinite playlist. Normally i dont usually go and watch this stuff but a buddy of mine wanted to see it (for the music apparantly) and since i was snoring all during the cruise last week and kept him up, id thought id pay him back. Suffice to say i was quite thoroughly surprised by the movie, it was funny, it was truthful and it was a love story that wasnt soo cheese that it would make you puke. For those who havent seen it, go and watch it pronto, its defintely an enjoyable movie with a tad bit of bitterness to add to the flavour. (oh and the small cameo by John Cho helped).
The reason why i guess this movie also hit me pretty hard was that ive been living in a pretty long drought in the relationship department, and by long i mean sahara desert long. Lately, i got the courage to muster another try at them crazy online services (going for the eharmony line in hopes of an acutal match not based on looks). Anyways, like usual i got alot of misses despite being "matched" with similar people using their "system". It sometimes makes me wonder either a) im doing something wrong in my profile or b) there really is a asian man hate syndrome going on. Both options i dont like at all.
However, i did get matched with someone from Toronto and she did message me back. So this lifted my spirits up quite a bit and defintely got me into the giddy school girl stage. Anyways as the story moved on we got to talking quite a bit and it was going pretty good up until (yes theres always an until point). Until she started sending responses a week or more later. Now im not an attention whore by any means nor do i expect peopel to respond to me right away but a week later was a bit too much i found and so i started questioning whether she was interested at all. So i got the response and it was a short one about how shes been busy at work (social worker) and i can defintely understand busy tho i havent known it for quite awhile. And messaged her back saying, i defintely understand just message me when you come out of the busy stage of whatever is going on, hell i could have even helped (you know that whole supporting partner thing, i didnt think that was a myth). But apparantly i didnt make a good enough pitch and next thing you know after coming back from my cruise BAM the match was closed.
Yeah i know, investing in something that really didnt have any true points of a good outcome isnt the best idea but i mean ones gotta have hope (at least once in their life). So now im back on the singles road, walking along waving hello to all the nice couples. Its not that im bitter about everyone else being happy, id say im just more frustrated than ever. I mean how does one find love in the first place? In Nick + Norahs (blah blah blah) it seemed like quite the random act. Being a mathematician, i honestly hate random probabilities, theres no logic to the problem, its just all up to chance (which at times can be good if ur doing well at the roulette table). I mean, is that caveat that theres an alpha to every omega really true? or is it some bullshit answer that desperate lonely people make to nourish the idea of hope?
So yeah to end this night, i defintely feel mixed, im obviously not feeling bright and happy but neither am i super down in the dumps. Its almost like im on the precipice of accepting life long loneliness. Ahh well? what to do...