BLLLLLAAAAAAAH!!
some days i wonder what it is that we are after, this world is so big and i want an "ever after".
i think: "forever and till death do us part"... but, some days were distant and i get so lost.
so much time, yet so little lost...
every moment with you i feel in my heart. it's childish and free, it's happy and true.
i never really know how things will go with you.
i know that i love you and i feel it down deep, it beats in my chest and screams out loud: "i could never lie to you, no way, no how."
i hate how i think i've lost control, as if love has limits that i could own?
love is endless and has no conditions. there is no real reason why i find it so sickening...
i just never knew a dude that does me like you do, and how in the hell could another do it like you!?...
i don't want to know, i really don't care, as crazy as you make me, this love keeps me sane.
it's the one thing i know, and i feel that is true.
(wish i could go back and be the first for you),
-the one before every and, any other...
i hate that i get jealous but i guess it means i care? : when some one hits you up and i ask "what's his name?".
i can be a handful, but let's put that all to rest...
this is me loving you and sometimes i am not the best :/
but beyond all my antics and over zealous moments i know all i want and what i would ask for:
to see it in your eyes, and feel it when you smile.
want to capture every moment you nudge me on the nose... and tell you how i never forget that it is yours.
when i wake up in the morning and your wrapped up warm... in those little grey shorts :)
i climb under covers and nuzzle up close... even when you sleep i can love you the most.
although, i love when you're angry cause you show lots of passion and you tell me where you come from and you do it with compassion.
strong and honest, you show me how you feel... anytime, anywhere and you really don't care.
(it's not always pretty but at least its always true),
you never hide your feelings and that's one thing i love about you.
[i can't rhyme for shit and this reads like bad rap but sometimes it's the only way i can get this all out.]
BUT
all i need to say at the bottom of this scribble is "girlGIRLgirl" and a big "KEEEEOW!!"
it means nothing to my friends, and certainly not a stranger but it's the most sincere way i know that we're together.
in heart, in mind... in body, in spirit...
relationships are work and i've learned it here best. but at the end of the day i don't consider this a test.
i consider this feeling, i consider it humane...
this is the biggest part of me i know that is living.
and we're done. for whatever reason if it happens in my mind or i feel overwhelmed it winds up on here.. good form of therapy i suppose. :P regardless of what's been written... i feel fine. there are just something's inside me that never stop stirring and more or less it pertains to all of that. i think the first year is always this heavy, but it better not last. i am in love, but i don't need an obsession. cause i know at times this feels like it owns me, and pssh fuck that. i had a great weekend spending some quality time with friends i haven't hung nor spoke with in the longest so it's always good to go back :). i recently turned down a job i applied for and got because i was too stupid to negotiate the pay. it's the only reason i really didn't take it, but i didn't think it was something i had room to negotiate with... maybe i was wrong? hmph. it's a sunday and i am bored, a little tired, and definitely am being lazy. i need more. i've been here for over two years now. i accomplished graduating but haven't done much after, and sadly i've grown content with that. i honestly think that's unacceptable for my own standards but at the same time somehow i feel that it is okay :/. i feel like i've been really caught up. i don't think anyone has held me back but myself, and i think in the past two months at least i have really been coming to terms with it. which is why i get all inside myself and write some god awful garbage attempt at poetry? if that's even what i would call it... i wouldn't but, arg! i miss my bestest, and ms. walker. i have friends here and some best one's at that but i guess somehow it's a different feeling knowing you have people back where you came from. i think it's too late to try and book a flight to go home for christmas although i really would like to! and other than that... nothing i guess. i just spilled my boredom on to this entire page. ugh. bye.
i think: "forever and till death do us part"... but, some days were distant and i get so lost.
so much time, yet so little lost...
every moment with you i feel in my heart. it's childish and free, it's happy and true.
i never really know how things will go with you.
i know that i love you and i feel it down deep, it beats in my chest and screams out loud: "i could never lie to you, no way, no how."
i hate how i think i've lost control, as if love has limits that i could own?
love is endless and has no conditions. there is no real reason why i find it so sickening...
i just never knew a dude that does me like you do, and how in the hell could another do it like you!?...
i don't want to know, i really don't care, as crazy as you make me, this love keeps me sane.
it's the one thing i know, and i feel that is true.
(wish i could go back and be the first for you),
-the one before every and, any other...
i hate that i get jealous but i guess it means i care? : when some one hits you up and i ask "what's his name?".
i can be a handful, but let's put that all to rest...
this is me loving you and sometimes i am not the best :/
but beyond all my antics and over zealous moments i know all i want and what i would ask for:
to see it in your eyes, and feel it when you smile.
want to capture every moment you nudge me on the nose... and tell you how i never forget that it is yours.
when i wake up in the morning and your wrapped up warm... in those little grey shorts :)
i climb under covers and nuzzle up close... even when you sleep i can love you the most.
although, i love when you're angry cause you show lots of passion and you tell me where you come from and you do it with compassion.
strong and honest, you show me how you feel... anytime, anywhere and you really don't care.
(it's not always pretty but at least its always true),
you never hide your feelings and that's one thing i love about you.
[i can't rhyme for shit and this reads like bad rap but sometimes it's the only way i can get this all out.]
BUT
all i need to say at the bottom of this scribble is "girlGIRLgirl" and a big "KEEEEOW!!"
it means nothing to my friends, and certainly not a stranger but it's the most sincere way i know that we're together.
in heart, in mind... in body, in spirit...
relationships are work and i've learned it here best. but at the end of the day i don't consider this a test.
i consider this feeling, i consider it humane...
this is the biggest part of me i know that is living.
and we're done. for whatever reason if it happens in my mind or i feel overwhelmed it winds up on here.. good form of therapy i suppose. :P regardless of what's been written... i feel fine. there are just something's inside me that never stop stirring and more or less it pertains to all of that. i think the first year is always this heavy, but it better not last. i am in love, but i don't need an obsession. cause i know at times this feels like it owns me, and pssh fuck that. i had a great weekend spending some quality time with friends i haven't hung nor spoke with in the longest so it's always good to go back :). i recently turned down a job i applied for and got because i was too stupid to negotiate the pay. it's the only reason i really didn't take it, but i didn't think it was something i had room to negotiate with... maybe i was wrong? hmph. it's a sunday and i am bored, a little tired, and definitely am being lazy. i need more. i've been here for over two years now. i accomplished graduating but haven't done much after, and sadly i've grown content with that. i honestly think that's unacceptable for my own standards but at the same time somehow i feel that it is okay :/. i feel like i've been really caught up. i don't think anyone has held me back but myself, and i think in the past two months at least i have really been coming to terms with it. which is why i get all inside myself and write some god awful garbage attempt at poetry? if that's even what i would call it... i wouldn't but, arg! i miss my bestest, and ms. walker. i have friends here and some best one's at that but i guess somehow it's a different feeling knowing you have people back where you came from. i think it's too late to try and book a flight to go home for christmas although i really would like to! and other than that... nothing i guess. i just spilled my boredom on to this entire page. ugh. bye.