If you consider yourself to be queer, then you ARE gay, and you have every right to recognize yourself as whatever you truly are, regardless of marital status, etc.
I don't think of myself as gay. I'm not a lesbian. I'm sort of bi, but mostly straight, but not actually straight. Does that clear up any confusion? :-P
Okay. I'm primarly attracted to men, but I'm also attracted to some women. When I say "queer," I guess I mostly mean "other," in that my sexuality is not mainstream and that the ways in which it isn't mainstream are deeper and more pervasive than simply who I might like to fuck (to put it indelicately.) It's not about gender identity (although it might be about that too, a bit) so much as sexual identity, and it's really difficult to explain. I'm not opposed to discussing it further, but I'm not sure where to start.
I guess it doesn't really need further discussion per se. I'm just happy to see others feeling comfortable to assert their identities even when they don't fit into predefined roles. It's a strange truth that people who are "gay" in the strongest definition of such sometimes have just as much trouble as people who are "straight" (again in the strongest definition) at accepting people who are "in between." Sometimes categories like "alternative" (or "other") can be viewed by people in ways just as restrictive and determined by preset boundaries as more traditional categories. From personal experience, I think it's especially hard being "in between" when your lifestyle tends to support one style or the other and doesn't visibly affect your actual identity particularly well. For some reason, I think most of us want to have all aspects of our identity acknowledged as valid, even if we don't express them as often or as openly. So I was just happily acknowledging your identity. Oof, was that too corny?!
Not too corny - sorry, I meant to come back to this sooner but got distracted. I totally understand what you're saying. It's scary. There's stuff I don't want to tell people because I don't want them to think less of me - I don't want them to look at one thing and assume it changes everything they know about me. Because, even though it's a fundamental part of me that, yes, they've been missing, it doesn't mean that what they already knew is wrong. I'm still that person they thought I was, there's just another layer. Sort of.
Oh, and while I'm at it, I wanted to thank you SO much for involuntarily turning me on to Vienna Teng, who I just adore now. I think "Eric's Song" will always be my very favorite, possibly because it was the first song of hers I got totally obsessed with. But I also love "Lullaby for a Stormy Night" and "The Tower," and my current on-endless-loop is "Gravity."
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Okay. I'm primarly attracted to men, but I'm also attracted to some women. When I say "queer," I guess I mostly mean "other," in that my sexuality is not mainstream and that the ways in which it isn't mainstream are deeper and more pervasive than simply who I might like to fuck (to put it indelicately.) It's not about gender identity (although it might be about that too, a bit) so much as sexual identity, and it's really difficult to explain. I'm not opposed to discussing it further, but I'm not sure where to start.
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Oh, and while I'm at it, I wanted to thank you SO much for involuntarily turning me on to Vienna Teng, who I just adore now. I think "Eric's Song" will always be my very favorite, possibly because it was the first song of hers I got totally obsessed with. But I also love "Lullaby for a Stormy Night" and "The Tower," and my current on-endless-loop is "Gravity."
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