TVD 3x22: "It's Mystic Falls. Nothing bad ever happens here." (Part II)
Ok, Part II. Because, somehow, there's more. Let's continue.
Which brings me to this bit of heartbreak: "And I care about you, Damon. Which is why I have to let you go." Because she wants to set him free, she does. But honestly? For me, most of this line was about Elena. She has to let him go, because it's killing her to hold on to him. It's tearing her up to keep holding on to this possibility, reserving the potential for this kind of out from the life she's chosen, the life she's supposed to have. It's obviously very intentional that Damon is the one away from Mystic Falls, all on his own. Stefan is home, with her friends, with her brother, in her childhood home, in this place where she always intended to live a normal life. And Damon is 100 miles out of town. He is the escape, the exception, the path away from the life she's supposed to be living. And to continue on it, leaving her friends and her aspirations for a normal human life, it's such a risk. And she can't do it. Elena is a creature of obligation. She feels responsible for everyone around her, and she devotes herself to her loved ones to the extreme. Choosing Damon is selfish. It would be just for her. And Elena can't do that. So she lets him go, because she can't be this unfair to him: she can't keep him when she has no intention of ever really giving into this thing that they have.
I have a quote for this. Has anyone seen "A Little Night Music" by Stephen Sondheim? Yes, I am a musical theatre geek, hear me roar. Anyway, there's this perfect quote spoken by the male lead, who's married to this younger girl who's totally wrong for him, and he runs into a woman he had an affair with years ago but with whom the timing was never right. He spends this weekend at her house, and at the end of it they both recognize that they're pretty much right for each other, but the timing still just isn't right. And he says:
"I'm sorry. I never should have come. To flirt with rescue when one has no intention of being saved...do try to forgive me."
Ok, before you start clamoring about the romanticization of it all, know that this is by no means a perfect parallel. I'm not saying S/E is wrong and D/E is right. But this quote just rings so true to me in this current situation. Elena knows that she and Damon have something, and that it could be fantastic. But she can't go through with it. It's too much to ask of her, and she's not willing to give up that much of herself and the life she imagined, once upon a time. All season she's been 'flirting with rescue,' relying on Damon, letting him in bit by bit, protecting the possibility that someday she might be brave enough to say "fuck it all" and run off to this Disastrous Accident. But she knew, deep down, that she never would. It's always going to be Stefan, for better or for worse. And in this moment, Elena acknowledges what she's been doing. She's been keeping him on the hook, essentially. But she knows how this is going to end as much as Damon does. She will choose Stefan, whether that's really what she wants or not. And she can't keep Damon anymore, not like this. So she lets him go, because they're both ruined by this thing between them, miserably, irrevocably, but this is the best she can do.
And she lets him go for herself, because she can't stand to be this anymore. I took issue with the idea that Elena was stringing these two along, because she really wasn't, and I hate the idea that she thinks she owes them anything, but it makes absolute sense that Elena would think that. And she doesn't want to be Katherine. She doesn't want to have this much power over these boys, and most of all, she doesn't want to tear them apart. So she's letting Damon go, because it's the only way she can live with herself when all of this is said and done.
I've come to realize that this is a lot of what made me so depressed about this episode. I feel for Damon like crazy, obviously, because it all fucking hurts. But it just kills me that Elena does this to herself. That she feels the need to divide herself so much. That she can't just fucking do what she wants to do. I hate that she feels like she has to be this person, the girl who fixes everything, who does what she has to do, who gives things up for the benefit of other people, because she thinks she should. It's absurdly in character: this is who Elena is. But it makes me hurt for her all the time. This show is a tragedy, people.
One last thought on that line: we all recognize the parallels to 2x01, right? Yes. And YES. It's fantastic, and I love it. Because everything has changed, but nothing has changed. Elena still loves Stefan and 'cares about' Damon. But a moment of pride: you know what has changed? Damon. Because the last time Elena said this to him, he snapped Jeremy's neck. And this time, he takes it quietly, and even tries to comfort her at the end, in his way. Basically, CHARACTER GROWTH, BITCHES. #i cannot be held responsible for what this finale makes me feel
But on the subject of Damon, let's continue to discuss his perfection in this scene. Because through it all, he's graceful. He takes this frankly devastating news honorably and maturely. And best of all, he helps her through it. He loves this girl. He needs her to be ok. So he will help her through this act of destroying him, because her well-being is more important than his own. Which is why this is so perfect:
Elena: I mean, maybe if you and I had met first.
Damon: Yeah, maybe.
Knowing what we know by the end of this episode, how flawless is this, guys? I know the D/E flashback scene is a bit controversial, and I have a rather extensive analysis of why I love it still to come (more words, is anyone surprised?), but regardless of how you feel about it, Elena throws this line to him, a placation, a meaningless line of comfort, and Damon lets it go. He knows they did meet first, and he knows it could have made a difference. It didn't have to, but it could have. But what would be the point of bringing it up? It wouldn't help anyone. It wouldn't make anyone feel better. And that's what Damon has become in the past few years, the way he's grown up. He doesn't take every opportunity to hurt. He can let things go, go easy on someone, restrain his natural instinct for destruction. Sometimes he does things he doesn't have to do. But not always. Not anymore.
Then Elena steels herself and insists that he'll be fine and she'll see him soon. And this is so, so gorgeous. Because Damon turns around, and there's Alterlaric. And he knows that whatever happens, she won't see him again. If Klaus's death doesn't take him out, Alterlaric will. Damon is not getting out of this. And even though he knows this, understands that this is their final goodbye, he simply responds, "Real soon." Just. Stunning. He will spare her even these few extra moments of pain and concern, because again, this is something he can do. And he won't get anything out of it. This is the end for him. But he does it anyway, because he loves her, and he can.
DAMON SALVATORE, YOU ARE A WONDER. I may be a Damon stan, but I'm not deluded. Damon is awful a lot of the time. It's something I love most about him. But sometimes, he can be unbearably wonderful, and in this episode, he was his best self. Fantastic stuff.
Also, all the awards to Ian and his ridiculous fucking flawless face, because he hangs up and tries to banter with Alaric, but he still looks so damn haunted by what's just happened. He's got the wounded puppy eyes down like a pro, and it appeals like crazy to the miserable, masochist shipper side of me.
Then Alterlaric literally punches Damon in the face (right after he's metaphorically had his heart ripped out, just, LOL, the things this show does to this boy), and I'm all, "Hey, that's how I feel!" Indeed. Thanks a lot, show.
So after all that, the Tyler/Caroline scene comes around, and I know I am a shameless OTP shipper, but honestly? After the subtle perfection that was that excruciating, heartbreaking D/E scene, this Forwood scene just seemed overdone. The D/E scene was amazing in that it was quiet - it packed SUCH an emotional punch, but on the surface it was a quiet phone conversation. Then Caroline comes running in dramatically, and it just felt like too much. Not gonna lie, this was one of those rare moments in which Candice did not do it for me. Her hysterical crying just felt way too over the top to me, and it distracted me from the legitimate emotional turmoil going on. I don't know, maybe I'm being unfair to this scene and Forwood in general. But I felt like it was too much.
I will say, the scene got a lot more interesting the second time around, knowing that it was actually Klaus. The actual implications of Klaus being in Tyler's body are gross and unsettling to the extreme, but at least it gave me something to think about upon rewatch, whereas the first time, I was sure I was supposed to feel something...but I just didn't.
Anyway, now that I know what I know, I really should have picked up that something was going on when Tyler/Klaus (Tylaus? Klyler? These two are impossible to combine (name-wise, not magic-wise, apparently), but I guess I'm going with Klyler? Feel free to defriend at will) when he mentioned he'd been with Bonnie, since we hadn't seen Bonnie since her sketchy as yet unknown plot with Klaus, but alas. I was still sort of reeling from the Phonecall of Doom scene, so I was not functioning on all cylinders.
But while we're on the subject of Klyler (oy), I find it interesting how Klaus is still shipping Caroline/future. "You're strong, and you have a beautiful future ahead of you." It intrigues me, how invested Klaus somehow is in what the future holds for Caroline, and what she can achieve in it. However, then Klyler and Caroline make out, and knowing it's actually Klaus is pretty fucking creepy and wrong and not ok. Alas.
To be honest, I didn't care much for this scene the first time around. It all seemed very trite, and it just didn't work for me. I wish I could be more intelligent about it, but I'm emotionally exhausted from breaking down every single minute detail from the previous scene, and I've just got nothing. Sorry my OTP bias blatantly skews everything in my recaps. But this scene was just there. Too much crying and sweeping music and "you have to go on without me" for me to be able to care about it. It might be painful, but it's not the right kind of pain for me. So, sorry, Forwood. Sorry your ship got so fucked over in so many ways. That being said, I'm pretty sure you'll be fine in the long run, because apparently you're Epic Love now, and if there's one thing we've learned, it's that this show will never kill an Epic Love, no matter how distasteful and faulty it's become.
I will say, I did enjoy the callback to 2x11, when Tyler tells Caro to go and she insists that she won't leave him. That episode was one of the best Tyler/Caroline episodes ever, so it was nice to remember a better time for these two and their writing. But also, clearly it was intentional, and it worked, so well done.
After the commercial break, Elena gets off the phone with Caroline and tells Matt that Tyler is dead. I don't know what it says about me and the writing for Tyler's 'death' that I found Matt's reaction to be by far the most affecting part of that storyline. I loved his furious breakdown. First of all, it was just super sad to see him crumble like that. But to me, it also felt like Matt was just anguished that Tyler was gone before they could fully fix things. I know they've seemed fine in the last few episodes, but it seems to me like Matt and Tyler have not fully repaired their relationship, and maybe I'm just projecting or something, but I like the idea that Matt was so angry and crushed because he knows that now he'll never have the chance to fix things.
"This isn't how our lives are supposed to be, Elena." You know, I hadn't given much thought to that line beyond thinking, "Oh, honey, I know," but now my OTP mind is spinning like crazy. Because Elena is all about 'should' in this episode. She's just trying to do what she's supposed to do. But here, Matt's telling her that this life they're stuck in isn't the life they were supposed to have. 'Should' went out the window a long time ago. So Elena's just trying to hold on to the 'supposed to' of it all, but Matt's essentially telling her that it's futile. And it will all be for nought anyway in about 10 minutes. It's an interesting thought.
Rebekah shows up to tell Elijah that Klaus is dead, and guys, I had SERIOUS feelings in this scene. Wow, the Originals have gotten to me. Rebekah's amazing, tearful face killed me, and watching Elijah try to be the big brother to her even as he was reeling with grief was gorgeous. Basically, this moment was flawless, and I loved it. Original Siblings for all the wins.
Then they reveal that Klaus really was the start of the Pierceatorbes bloodline, and I must say, I was a bit surprised that Klaus had been telling the truth. It's good to have this confirmed, however. And this show is certainly doing something right, because when Elijah wondered how the Salvatores and co were still alive, I was wondering right along with them. Maybe I'm just terrible at calling this show. But I didn't have a clue what they'd done to avert a Pierceatorbes mass death, so at least from my end, well done, show.
But here Bonnie comes to make it all (at least somewhat) clear. When she entered the caves, I was pretty much not at all surprised to see Tyler come out to meet her. TVD is one of those shows for which it is necessary to abide by the rule that unless you see someone's body decapitated, burned, and scattered in ash form in front of you, it's best to assume they're not actually dead. Ergo, cutting away as Tyler was just struggling? Yeah, kid's not dead. Even if he's Klyler now, he's just not dead.
LOL, Michael Trevino trying to do Joseph Morgan. I'll give him a bit of time to work on it, but I know I'm not alone in wondering if he can handle the impressive task of emulating/matching JoMo. Good luck, Trev.
Bonnie, meanwhile, was amazing in this scene. This is why I randomly ship Bonnie/Klaus (just like I randomly ship everything...). She is FIERCE and hard and awesome. I love Bonnie's 'srs bsns' face. Girl is badass.
And of course, the crux of the scene: "The spirits don't get to tell me what to do anymore. I'm done getting pushed around by all of you. I did it because I wanted to."
YES. YES YES YES. I am so thrilled by this. FINALLY, Bonnie is striking out against her deus ex machina persona. She's not going to just be a plot piece anymore. Look at the agency! I love it so. I particularly love that this comes right off the tails of Bonnie literally being controlled by the spirits (in 3x20, when they essentially took over her body to achieve their ends). Bonnie is tired of being quite literally under the control of the spirits, and she's going to reclaim herself and her own power and do what she wants to do. It might lead to Dark!Bonnie, as I postulated it might. It might just lead to a more active, self-driven Bonnie. Wherever it might go, this is a damn good place to start. I am pleased.
But then I get annoyed, because, SERIOUSLY? We're going to do the whole 'the villain warns our hero of her nefarious plot so he can swoop in and save the girl' thing? Ok, I know, Stefan doesn't actually manage to save the girl, but still. STUPID. Rebekah is smarter than this, and I resent the show for making her act so ridiculously.
Meanwhile, I know that Rebekah is bound to get a lot of hate for what she did here, but honestly, I get it, and I don't blame her. This is something I love about TVD vampires - they're not whitewashed. Rebekah hates Elena, and she doesn't care if she kills people, and this is what makes the most sense to protect her and her family. And I loved the bit about how she'd been running her whole life and she didn't want to run anymore. Allow me a moment of RebeKlaus OTP-ing, because in my head, Rebekah just doesn't have the strength or the will to keep running without Klaus by her side. He was what made that lifetime of running bearable. Without him, she can't fathom it.
On a purely personal note, I was super distracted by Rebekah's "Her and Matt should be arriving back in town any minute." SHE and Matt, Rebekah. Just, grr. Come on, writers. You're WRITERS. Get this right. #grammar/me, my true OTP
Oy. So Matt and Elena go careening toward Rebekah after a highly obvious fumble for phones (this is why California has outlawed cell phone usage while driving. TAKE HEED, Team Mystic Fals.), and I just can't be surprised or worried, because I'd been waiting for this all episode, thank you very much, promos. Not to mention that many people have been pointing out the sheer ridiculousness of Matt swerving out of the way to avoid an indestructible creature. Too silly. Whatever.
However, I did rather like the transition into the flashback crash. And the cruel tragedy of seeing Grayson promise Elena that they were going to be ok. Sometimes this show goes for the absolute most painful option, and you know what? IT FUCKING WORKS.
Meanwhile, Damon is having pretty much the worst day ever, bleeding on the floor. Digging the multiple trails of blood on his face, not gonna lie. Feel free to judge me on my inexplicable and vaguely alarming tastes.
But then I feel a bit like I've been gut-punched when Alterlaric mentions that Damon isn't fighting back. OH, MY BOY. My poor, poor boy. Because obviously he knows that he can't match Ric in any way. But he also doesn't much see the point in fighting back. He's not really being suicidal here. But there's nothing for him to fight for. Of course there is, and Damon gets over himself and shakes it off after a conveniently timed flashback, but for a few moments, he indulged himself in just giving in to the futility of it all.
Of course, I love Alterlaric being unsettled by Damon calling him Ric. It's a connection to his other self, the man who cared about vampires, the man he's trying to cut out, and it bothers him to remember that affection he once had for Damon. Even better, I fancy that Damon calling him that stirred a bit of our Ric inside of him, and Alterlaric just wants to turn it off (please shout it in a JoMo voice in your head for the full effect). Also:
Alterlaric: We're not friends.
Damon: We were.
I will never not be helpless to this kind of bromantic exchange. And of course, I love the callback to our Ric saying the same thing back in, what, 3x07? And Damon snarked and charmed and did his thing back then, but now everything is fucked up and miserable and ruined, but this time, Damon can reply with absolute certainty that they were friends. Ric died with Damon by his side, and Alterlaric can't take that away from either of them.
LOL, Damon is always part of the problem. My liability Salvatore. <3
Random aside: I consistently appreciate how this show is not afraid to ugly up its beautiful people. Damon looked rather terrible in this scene, all bloodied and gross. Way to go, show.
And now we get to the D/E flashback scene. Ok, I know this scene is a bit controversial, and there are all sorts of disagreements and ideas about it. But let's get one thing clear. I love this scene. Absolutely adore it. And I have reasons. A lot of them are face reasons, let's be honest (HOW ARE THESE TWO ALLOWED TO HAVE THOSE FACES? JUST.). But I also happen to think this scene did an absolutely brilliant job of characterizing both D/E and the evolution of Elena as a character. My interpretation of this flashback is a bit particular, but I'll do my best to explain it adequately. Meanwhile, welcome to my Official Defense of the D/E Flashback Scene.
Let's start with this: I've seen that a lot of people seem to think that flashback Damon was out of character. They saw season 3 Damon in a pre-season 1 scene. To this, I have to say, I categorically disagree. A lot of people distinguish season 1 Damon from season 2 or season 3 Damon, but I've always believed that Damon is Damon, and he just portrays different aspects of his personality depending on the situation, the person, and his mood. The crux of this is that Damon Salvatore is a performer, always. He constantly projects an image of himself, because that's how he maintains control. He doesn't like to be vulnerable, and he doesn't like for people to get a sense of him (that's why it gets to him so keenly when Elena sees through his act), so he postures. Season 1 Damon? Is just Damon playing the role of the irreverent bad boy with no morals and no feelings. The switch is a myth. Damon knows that. When has Damon EVER not felt anything? Even when he was pretending to be all switch-flippy, he was still devoting himself to rescuing Katherine, because after 145 years he still loved her. These are not the actions of a man with no feelings. The difference is that Damon had no intention of acquiring favor with anyone in Mystic Falls in season 1. He had no interest in reuniting with his brother. He just wanted to come in, get Katherine, and get out. Through a series of unforeseen events, he found himself working with his brother, and it harnessed latent feelings in him that made him want to stay. Not to mention that the wildcard of Elena played a role. Elena has always been able to pierce through his persona and understand him - THEY HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING - which is why their connection happened in the first place. Damon's act doesn't work on Elena. But he tried to keep it up for at least the first half of season 1. Damon only became 'season 2 Damon' because he had grown attached enough to both Stefan and Elena to inspire him to alter his own depiction of himself. He'd settled, he wanted to grow roots in this town, so he dropped the strict no caring act and went for something a little different. All this to say that the idea that season 1 Damon could find a random girl in the street and be nice to her? Is absolutely not out of character.
Take these two reasons. First of all, think about Bree. I often wonder how Damon's relationship with Bree started and commenced, since, despite the unfortunate end of their acquaintance, he did seem to genuinely care about her, at least in a way. Which just proves that Damon was never completely numb to the world. He never intended to be with anyone seriously - he was all about Katherine, after all - but he was capable of being somebody's sort of boyfriend. It might not have been life-changing, but it was meaningful enough.
Next up, and best of all: look at this scene. It's just Damon, this girl who intrigues him, and an empty road. There is no one around to perform for. It's just Damon and Elena. And he doesn't even realize it yet, but it makes a difference - he doesn't perform for her, because he can't. That's not to say that he's being totally open and honest with her, because, no. But he lets his guard down a little, because it's just the two of them, and he's going to mind-wipe her anyway, and there's no point to pretending. Damon performs for a reason. If there's no reason, he won't bother. So this flashback Damon? Is just Damon. That's all there is to it.
Ok, so that's Point of Defense #1. Never fear. I have more.
I've seen some critiques of Damon's easy acceptance that Elena is not Katherine. But again, this makes sense to me. Because, A) he knows that Katherine is in the tomb. Yeah, we realize this to be untrue, but Damon of this point in time couldn't possibly fathom the idea that Katherine could be out of the tomb and not looking for him. He has lived his entire vampire existence with the certainty that she is locked away, waiting for him. Why would he stop believing that just because he happens upon some lookalike in the road? Next, and more importantly, B) Elena is not Katherine. Elena is nothing like Katherine, at least not at this point. Damon has always been very good at seeing that. I'm not saying that to celebrate the D/E romance - often, Damon has compared Elena to Katherine unfavorably. But he sees it instantly. It's in the way Elena carries herself, in her expression and her reaction to him and her voice and outfit and everything. Damon is exceptionally perceptive. He can tell the difference. And it would never occur to him that Katherine was pretending to be someone else, because why would she? Katherine loves herself, and she wouldn't hide it away (not unless she's scheming, and Damon knows nothing of any of her scheming anyway - the version of Katherine in 1864 he knew was an incomplete version, and he knew nothing of what she was or how she would be in our time). Not to mention, in Damon's highly romanticized scenario, Katherine would be thrilled to see him. She wouldn't pretend not to recognize him. So when Damon happens upon this girl who claims she's not Katherine, he believes her. Yes, the resemblance is uncanny, but nothing else matches, so. That's that.
Ok, those are the two initial points of defense. Now for actual recapping. More will weave themselves into the telling.
So Damon's lying in the middle of the road like a glorious brat prince. He overhears a familiar voice, and we see Elena off on her own in the dark, talking to Bonnie on the phone. Again I'm struck with the failure of the Matt/Damon parallel when Elena says she 'can't bring herself to tell him,' presumably meaning she can't bear to tell Matt she's not into him. This is something I can't reconcile with D/E. Elena has never been afraid to let Damon down. It's only admitting to actually feeling something for him that paralyzes her. Assuring him she doesn't have romantic feelings for him? Been there, done that, could do it again in a second (if only it were still true).
Damon shows up with a typical ridiculous breeze of vampire trickery, and I just LOL. Oh, Damon. But he calls her Katherine, and I maintain my Point of Defense #2, because you can tell that he almost immediately realizes Elena isn't Katherine. His face falls pretty much right after he speaks, because he sees. The defense rests.
I love how Elena looks around and then just introduces herself. She might look a bit wary, but she's still so damn friendly. Oh, Elena, you were always doomed to form inappropriate friendships with monsters.
So Damon gets it pretty immediately, and he shakes it off. So this isn't Katherine, of course it's not, and instead it's this girl in the road alone at night, and he's interested. He just wants to know a bit more. So he introduces himself. And here we go.
She semi-criticizes him from the get-go, and he digs it, and fires right back, and we've got something going, people. Also, Elena utters the most intentionally hilarious line in the history of ever: "It's Mystic Falls. Nothing bad ever happens here." LOLOLOL ELENA, THIS IS THE WORST TOWN EVER. Legit hilarious. Go back to your bridge, troll writers.
And here's where it gets good. Elena mentions that she got into a fight with her boyfriend, and Damon inquires about what, and she confesses some of her concerns and insecurities. And Damon pinpoints that even with this kind of honesty, she's still deflecting. This is my favorite thing about this damn scene. Because, why is Elena telling him this? He is this random, borderline creepy stranger hanging out in the middle of nowhere. She should be freaked out or uncomfortable or at least distantly polite. But instead she's spilling her emotional turmoil out to him in a way she only has to her mother and best friend. Why? Because it feels right. Because she wants to. Because from the second they met, Damon and Elena have felt comfortable with each other, have fallen into this strange natural friendship despite circumstances, logic, or will. Because THEY HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING. She's never met this guy before, doesn't care about him or his opinions or feelings, and he likewise for her, and yet here they are, having an open, honest conversation about what she wants in life, because that's just how they work. They talk this out, because they have this instinct that says the other person can be trusted, can be helpful, will listen. This is the natural relationship they fall into that I'm always flailing about. It happens from the very start, because it's just part of who they are together.
And best of all, Damon reads her, reads into what she isn't saying, because he can. He understands her. Because Damon and Elena are the same person. They recognize each other as kindred spirits, even if they're fighting the identification. But here they're not fighting it, and Damon sees immediately that she's like him. That she's covering, deflecting, but she wants something unknown, wants it so keenly, and he calls her out on it, because Damon has never let Elena lie to herself. This scene is blissfully related to that amazing 1x03 scene in Elena's kitchen when Damon again reads her like a pro. I love when he declares that she's not into cheerleading anymore, and she acknowledges that he's right. He gets her, and she doesn't deny it. Meanwhile, she hits him with her understanding of the Katherine situation, and he realizes that she gets him too. These two have always been able to see right through each other, and I love that this scene proved that this is just something inherent to them. No matter how they met or what they knew about the other, they were always going to be like this. Because they're Damon and Elena.
Shameless moment of OTP flailing: HOW FUCKING CUTE ARE THEY when she asks him, "What, mysterious stranger who knows all the answers?" with that little smile on her face and he chuckles. It's just. I DIE. Perfection. And also part of why I'm obsessed with this scene. Because they just like each other. You can tell by the way they just fall into an easy banter, how they look at each other, all friendly and flirtatiously and, dare I say it, happily. They feel an instant camaraderie. This is why D/E is the ultimate BrOTP - they are friends. They have always been, first and foremost, a friendship. Because they're suited to each other. Because they have fun together, they make each other laugh, they're comfortable together. There is something inexplicably lighthearted about their relationship. Even in our current timeline, after all the pain and death and abject misery, they still, despite everything, enjoy the other's company. And that is established in this flashback, in their very first meeting - they like each other, simple as that. Strip away all the vampire drama, and you just have two people who meet and click.
And now we get to this flashback's reason for existing. A lot of people have criticized the 'consumption' bit for being obvious and overdone, and that's fair. But I loved it for some strange and complicated reasons which I'll explain later. But for now, let me say that I love the silly, overly romantic way Damon describes the kind of love he thinks Elena wants, because OF COURSE that's how he would describe it. Let's look at this boy. He's been waiting around for Katherine for 145 YEARS. He is an actor, a writer, a player (in the Shakespearean sense). He indulges in his flair for the dramatic. And more than anything, he revels in his role as a romantic hero. Because he's never gotten to be one. In 1864, he was the second choice, the inferior brother, the spare. So when Katherine was locked away, he chose to rewrite his own history. He insisted that he was the one for Katherine, that he would save her, just him. He willfully ignored the actual facts and cast himself as the Male Romantic Lead. And he will swoop into Mystic Falls and rescue his one true love, and they will ride off together into the sunset. This is what Damon has conditioned himself to believe in after a century and a half alone. So when he finds this girl on the road and instinctually identifies with her, of course he talks about a love that will 'consume' her. Because that's what he wants. That's what he has. He has allowed his love for Katherine to consume his life - he has defined himself thus. This is what he understands real love to be. So this is what he tells Elena she's looking for. Because he recognizes himself in her on a fundamental level, so he projects his own desires and vision onto her. Damon and Elena are the same person. So before he even knows a thing about her, he decides that she wants what he wants.
The glory of it all is that it's true. Because as much as Damon is projecting, Elena is like him, and she does want this. Elena is a 17-year-old girl, and more importantly, she's a reader. Ok, maybe this is just my own personal head!canon assuming that because she writes, she reads, but to me, Elena is one of those girls who grew up reading about the great literary romantic heroines. When she talks to Stefan in season 1 about her relationship with Matt, she confesses that it lacked passion. It is extremely telling that this is how Elena judges that relationship, because it proves that Elena has a vision of love that has yet to be met. Elena understands real love to be this overwhelming, passionate, consuming thing. It's a fantastical idea of love, and yet, it's the product of novels and youth and wild romantic hope. Passion is her qualifier, the criterion for love being 'real.' So when Damon gives her this quick psychoanalysis, she knows he's right. I'm not saying it's not a little silly. It is. But that's the point. These two people have foolish, faulty views about love. And they will learn the terrible cost of that love with each other, of all people. And isn't that just phenomenal.
Damon insists that Elena wants "passion, and adventure, and even a little danger." Because that's how Damon felt when he met Katherine. And Elena catches him off-guard and asks, "So, what do you want?" And he kind of freezes. Because I don't think he's used to people asking him that. But more than that, he's just told her what he wants, without even realizing it. Because to him, that's what love is. There isn't any other way.
Then Elena's parents drive up, and he compels her. "I want you to get everything you're looking for." People have complained that this is too sweet to be season 1 Damon. But again, I disagree. Because Damon has always been capable of kindness, when he wants to be. But most importantly, the fantastic thing about this scene is the way the Elena and Damon instinctively recognize themselves in the other, without even realizing it. So at the end of this random, happenstance meeting, Damon wishes her to find whatever it is that she's looking for, because he genuinely wants her to have it. Because that means that he can have it too. They are the same person, and he wants her to be happy, because he wants to be happy. They're in this crazy miserable love thing together. So he wishes her the best, because for these few brief moments, they connected.
Then he compels her to forget him, and I am in awe of the perfection of it all. It's gorgeous, and sad, and wonderful, and I love everything about it.
Side note: I think "Goodnight, Elena" is becoming a bit of a tagline for Damon. Though maybe it's just that the boy always insists on having the last word.
So now we come to my view of the larger impact of this scene, and my reason for loving the consuming business so dearly. Damon and Elena meet, and he figures out she wants this grand romantic love that will sweep her away. Then he takes the memory away, but deep down inside, she still knows it's true. Cut to months later, after the accident, when Elena is leading a different life. She's still the same girl at her core, and she meets Stefan, and thinks that maybe this is it. Maybe this could be the consuming love she's always wanted. That is the core of the ridiculous Epic Love business in early season 1. It's not that S/E is actually epic. It's that Elena wants them to be. She feels this spark with this unusual boy, and she chooses to take it as passion, because that's what she's looking for. Her relationship with Matt was largely a friendship, but with Stefan, everything is a little deeper, a little more exciting, and she's intrigued by it. She chases the possibility of passion. The thing is, her love for Stefan? Is not the kind of love that Damon described. I'm not trying to diminish the depth of Elena's feelings for Stefan. She loves him, and it's very real. But it's not passion and adventure and danger. And honestly, there's nothing wrong with that. The kind of love that Damon is talking about can be destructive. It's certainly exhausting and hard and trying. A 'consuming' love is never easy. She falls in love with Stefan, and it's deep and amazing, but it doesn't consume her. Then comes Damon (again).
Damon is the kind of boy she can have this type of love with. Damon undoes her, makes her crazy, shuts down all her logic and whittles her down to pure feeling. Damon and Elena are the same, which means they can love the same way - overwhelmingly, all-consumingly, with total abandon. And throughout her relationship with him, especially in season 3, I think Elena's come to realize that. She understands that Stefan is the love she 'should' have, and Damon is the stuff of novels and fantasies and fairy tales. Damon is the kind of love she wanted when she was 17, waiting for her parents on a deserted road. And you know the very best part? Here, at the end of season 3, after everything - she doesn't want it.
And this is why I am utterly in love with this flashback. Because it shows who Elena was, who Elena still is, in a way. It takes this romantic trope of an intense, passionate love that captivates you. And it denies it, like D/E denies every romantic cliche. Our current Elena knows, even without remembering this scene, that her past self would have chosen Damon. And she's spent years pining away for that Elena, pedestallizing who she used to be, wishing she could get back to who she was, the normal human Elena. And in the car with Matt, somewhere between Mystic Falls and Damon, she has the chance to be that Elena again, to choose what she would have chosen, to recapture her former self - and she rejects it. This is Elena recognizing that she is still that same Elena, that girl who wanted passion and adventure and danger, but that now, she's choosing differently. She's staying with the Matt of the situation, prioritizing her friends and her family and all the 'should's in her life. Because this is who she has to be now. This is how she's choosing to grow up. Past Elena would have chosen Damon, because Damon is who she wants. But present Elena can't, because acting on want isn't right anymore, not to her. It's not about want, it's about should. So she chooses Stefan, and in letting Damon go, she lets her past self go as well.
That's the tragedy of this scene. It's not that if Elena remembered she'd met Damon first, she would have picked him instead. That's not the case. I love this scene to distraction, but I don't for a second think that Elena remembering this meeting after her transition will change her mind. Because it doesn't matter who she met first. The only thing that matters is that Elena herself is different. She's letting go of that desire for a love that's passionate, dangerous, all-consuming. And something about that makes me terribly sad.
One last thing about this flashback and what it means, and then I promise I'll move on. Warning: this is highly OTP-influenced. But I have to say, I LOVE that Damon met Elena first...and then didn't stalk her because she looks like Katherine. There's such a marked difference between how Stefan dealt with the revelation of Elena and her resemblance to Katherine and how Damon handled it. Because Stefan saw this girl and watched her for months because he 'had to be sure' or something. Damon talked to her for two minutes, knew immediately that she wasn't Katherine, and moved on. I will never be ok with the lack of exploration of Stefan's transference issues, but I love that the show has made it canon that Damon's ability to separate Katherine and Elena is not just because he already knew she wasn't Katherine. He figures it out by himself, and it doesn't make a difference - he still wants Katherine, and no matter how identical Elena is to her, he has no interest in finding a replacement to the original. So when he finds himself intrigued by her, it's all to do with who Elena is, and not who she looks like.
OK SORRY this recap turned out to be not at all non-OTP-biased. Would you believe the clearly partisan recap is still to come?
But the flashback ends, and after it all, somehow, Damon remembers that he has to fight. Because he's not a martyr, and it doesn't matter that the girl didn't choose him. The girl is still there, and he needs to get home to her, because he promised he would. So he stands up, and he fights.
And here we are. Elena, trapped in a car below Wickery Bridge. This is where it started, and this is where it ends.
I love the shot of the bridge, quiet, even peaceful. And then we go underwater, and there's this sort of still beauty to it all. Again, it's quiet, and soft, and it makes it all that much more tragic, and that much more beautiful. Plus the damn music, which, fuck you, TVD. Go back to your bridge and leave my emotions alone.
The intercutting between the current scene and the flashback was stunning. That is what made this scene for me. The parallels, the bookended tragedy, it was all utterly flawless. And Elena and Grayson, both together and apart, kill me. Just destroy me. The moment when Elena and Grayson join hands, when she mouths that she loves him, all of it, it's just gorgeous. And my favorite part is when Grayson shakes his head, telling her there's nothing to be done, and she just nods. Her quiet strength, both for herself and for her father, it just shatters me. This is our girl. Elena Gilbert, strong, steadfast, glorious, whether she be facing down ancient vampires or quietly confronting her own death and letting her father know it's ok. I am lost to the absolute beauty of it all.
Then Stefan arrives, because he was always going to. If this show is going to bookend, then it is damn well going to bookend. And we all knew that Grayson insists that Stefan save Elena first. Of course he does. He demands that his daughter's life comes before his own. But now we have Elena, my glorious girl. And she insists that Stefan save Matt first. Let's just ignore the completely valid and totally ridiculous fact that Stefan could have saved them both. That was just writing fail. The important part is that Elena is her father's daughter. I don't know why this filled me with such a sense of pride - we barely even knew Grayson - but alas, it did. I felt such a rush of adoration for this girl that she has lived up to the standard her parents set in every way and more. I adore the parallels between Elena and Grayson. I love that in the past, Grayson is trying to break the window, but in the now, Elena is the one who fights. She has inherited her father's strength and his courage and his selflessness. Elena has always felt that she needed to atone for her parents' death. Well, here she is, in this same situation, and she will forgive herself by being as good as her father was. She will fix it by correcting her past mistake. Back then, someone else died for her. This time, she will die for someone else. Balance is restored.
Stefan saves Matt, and Elena dies. And for one gorgeous, tragic moment, it's ok. Elena can go like this.
A moment of Show appreciation: Wickery Bridge was the obvious choice for this scene for a lot of reasons, but personally, I love the connection to 3x11, and I love that it's Matt in the car with her. Because he is one of her last real human connections, and he was the one standing by her side at her 'funeral,' right here at this bridge. "Here lies Elena Gilbert." It's phenomenal foreshadowing, and I love the show for it. Matt and Elena had a ceremonial funeral here for her, and now she's really dying here, because this is her spot. This is where she dies and is reborn and then dies and is reborn again.
Meanwhile, Damon is putting up a good fight against Alterlaric, until Elena's death crashes that party. And it's heartwrenching, the way Damon instantly knows what's happening, and how he can't accept it, even as he's crumbling under it all.
Jeremy is calling Matt, worrying, and rightly so, and there's Alaric. And as much as I usually roll my eyes at spirits from beyond promising their living loved ones that they'll watch over them, this time, it works. Because that's all Alaric ever wanted to do - watch over these kids. And he and Jeremy had this particular bond, but despite everything, Alaric failed. It all went wrong, and he couldn't save them. He couldn't save Elena from death, and he couldn't save Jeremy from losing yet another family member. But he can promise Jeremy that he'll always be there, in whatever way he can. When he promises that Jeremy will never be alone, it just hits me. Because Jeremy is alone. He's just lost his last family member. Nothing can ever fix that.
Though it seems that Jeremy has been spending too much time with Anti-Subtext Donovan, because his "Oh my god, you're a ghost!" was fairly lol-worthy. Sorry, Jeremy. But way to ruin the moment a little bit.
And there's Elena, well and truly dead. Still and lifeless on a morgue slab, and it's awful, especially contrasting with the oddly beautiful shot of her floating in the water. This is the cold hard truth of death. And Stefan sits over her, looking, in all honesty, a little Ripper-y. This is Stefan at his most destroyed. And it should be. But more on that later.
In striking contrast, as always, Damon comes blazing in in a fury. Not even gonna lie, I love single-minded, furious, grief-stricken Damon. The way he just powers through everyone and still pushes against Meredith when she stops him just does things to me. I love this boy, and I love seeing him devastated.
Meredith reveals what she did, and I'm kind of fascinated by the way she phrases it. "I helped her. She needed my help." This could be one of the worst things to ever happen to Elena. And it could be her salvation. Either way, I find it intriguing that Meredith calls it help. It seems so mundane, and so teamwork-y, and yet, this has changed absolutely everything.
And I love Damon's face when he says, "You what?" It is such a glorious mix of hope and horror and rage. Damon's reaction to all of this is going to be amazing. Because he will be so thrilled and grateful that Elena isn't really dead. But the rest of it? He'll hate every single bit of it. Let's watch this trainwreck, shall we?
And I get it, I'm fairly quick on the uptake. So Elena waking up and gasping into the camera didn't shock me or anything. But here we go. Let's do this. Vampire Elena. I'm ready.
But we're not quite done. Can you even believe that I have more to say? But we need to briefly touch on the subject of Stefan's choice. Many, many people have been talking about this, and I don't really feel like I have anything to add. Stefan's choice was exceptionally complicated. Some think he was respecting Elena's agency by obeying her and saving Matt instead. That may be true, but it's certainly not the romantic choice. Here's the thing. There was no right choice (beyond saving them both, seriously, WHAT EVEN, WRITERS. They need to make up a reason for why Stefan couldn't have saved them both STAT, because right now it's just silly). Elena wanted Stefan to save Matt, and he did. Matt deserves to live. But that doesn't make this the right choice. There are times when someone's desires need to be ignored. Elena letting herself die is one of those times. Elena might love Stefan for heeding her wishes. Personally, I hope she hates him for it too, because that's by far the more interesting choice narratively. In my perfect world, Elena would logically appreciate that Stefan always allowed her to call the shots, but on a purely instinctive level, she would loathe him a little too, because he let her die. He let her die. This is an extraordinarily complicated issue, and I can't say that any choice would have been the right one, but I am sure that this was not the right one. Elena died when she could have been saved. That will never be the right choice.
So what I want is for everyone to be miserable next season, basically. I want Stefan to be effused with self-loathing and regret and horror. I want Damon to be enraged and judgmental and guilt-ridden. I want Elena to struggle, REALLY struggle, with vampirism. I love Caroline and her whole season 2 vamp storyline, but I think her transition was too easy. One dead guy and a bonding session with Stefan and she seems to be just fine. I want Elena to be dark. I need to her feel that emotional intensity, heightened everything that vampires feel, and I want it to mess her up. I want that amazing fierce Elena that's been in her the whole time to EXPLODE. Let's just have everything be a terrible disaster that I will watch with popcorn and flails of glee. Who's with me?
And to conclude: ready for the final word count? Prepare for horror: 19,554 WORDS. OH NOES. I laugh at my past self for feeling bad about 10,000 words. This is the actual worst. APOLOGIES ABOUND. Just. Wow. At least this is the last one of the season, right? You won't have to endure another one of these for five long months. Alas.
But to those of you who've been sticking through these til the eventual end, thank you for bearing with me and indulging me. I've become excessively fond of recapping, and it's become rather essential to my processing of every episode, so thanks for letting me rant and flail with you all. Good times, man. Ready for season 4?
Which brings me to this bit of heartbreak: "And I care about you, Damon. Which is why I have to let you go." Because she wants to set him free, she does. But honestly? For me, most of this line was about Elena. She has to let him go, because it's killing her to hold on to him. It's tearing her up to keep holding on to this possibility, reserving the potential for this kind of out from the life she's chosen, the life she's supposed to have. It's obviously very intentional that Damon is the one away from Mystic Falls, all on his own. Stefan is home, with her friends, with her brother, in her childhood home, in this place where she always intended to live a normal life. And Damon is 100 miles out of town. He is the escape, the exception, the path away from the life she's supposed to be living. And to continue on it, leaving her friends and her aspirations for a normal human life, it's such a risk. And she can't do it. Elena is a creature of obligation. She feels responsible for everyone around her, and she devotes herself to her loved ones to the extreme. Choosing Damon is selfish. It would be just for her. And Elena can't do that. So she lets him go, because she can't be this unfair to him: she can't keep him when she has no intention of ever really giving into this thing that they have.
I have a quote for this. Has anyone seen "A Little Night Music" by Stephen Sondheim? Yes, I am a musical theatre geek, hear me roar. Anyway, there's this perfect quote spoken by the male lead, who's married to this younger girl who's totally wrong for him, and he runs into a woman he had an affair with years ago but with whom the timing was never right. He spends this weekend at her house, and at the end of it they both recognize that they're pretty much right for each other, but the timing still just isn't right. And he says:
"I'm sorry. I never should have come. To flirt with rescue when one has no intention of being saved...do try to forgive me."
Ok, before you start clamoring about the romanticization of it all, know that this is by no means a perfect parallel. I'm not saying S/E is wrong and D/E is right. But this quote just rings so true to me in this current situation. Elena knows that she and Damon have something, and that it could be fantastic. But she can't go through with it. It's too much to ask of her, and she's not willing to give up that much of herself and the life she imagined, once upon a time. All season she's been 'flirting with rescue,' relying on Damon, letting him in bit by bit, protecting the possibility that someday she might be brave enough to say "fuck it all" and run off to this Disastrous Accident. But she knew, deep down, that she never would. It's always going to be Stefan, for better or for worse. And in this moment, Elena acknowledges what she's been doing. She's been keeping him on the hook, essentially. But she knows how this is going to end as much as Damon does. She will choose Stefan, whether that's really what she wants or not. And she can't keep Damon anymore, not like this. So she lets him go, because they're both ruined by this thing between them, miserably, irrevocably, but this is the best she can do.
And she lets him go for herself, because she can't stand to be this anymore. I took issue with the idea that Elena was stringing these two along, because she really wasn't, and I hate the idea that she thinks she owes them anything, but it makes absolute sense that Elena would think that. And she doesn't want to be Katherine. She doesn't want to have this much power over these boys, and most of all, she doesn't want to tear them apart. So she's letting Damon go, because it's the only way she can live with herself when all of this is said and done.
I've come to realize that this is a lot of what made me so depressed about this episode. I feel for Damon like crazy, obviously, because it all fucking hurts. But it just kills me that Elena does this to herself. That she feels the need to divide herself so much. That she can't just fucking do what she wants to do. I hate that she feels like she has to be this person, the girl who fixes everything, who does what she has to do, who gives things up for the benefit of other people, because she thinks she should. It's absurdly in character: this is who Elena is. But it makes me hurt for her all the time. This show is a tragedy, people.
One last thought on that line: we all recognize the parallels to 2x01, right? Yes. And YES. It's fantastic, and I love it. Because everything has changed, but nothing has changed. Elena still loves Stefan and 'cares about' Damon. But a moment of pride: you know what has changed? Damon. Because the last time Elena said this to him, he snapped Jeremy's neck. And this time, he takes it quietly, and even tries to comfort her at the end, in his way. Basically, CHARACTER GROWTH, BITCHES. #i cannot be held responsible for what this finale makes me feel
But on the subject of Damon, let's continue to discuss his perfection in this scene. Because through it all, he's graceful. He takes this frankly devastating news honorably and maturely. And best of all, he helps her through it. He loves this girl. He needs her to be ok. So he will help her through this act of destroying him, because her well-being is more important than his own. Which is why this is so perfect:
Elena: I mean, maybe if you and I had met first.
Damon: Yeah, maybe.
Knowing what we know by the end of this episode, how flawless is this, guys? I know the D/E flashback scene is a bit controversial, and I have a rather extensive analysis of why I love it still to come (more words, is anyone surprised?), but regardless of how you feel about it, Elena throws this line to him, a placation, a meaningless line of comfort, and Damon lets it go. He knows they did meet first, and he knows it could have made a difference. It didn't have to, but it could have. But what would be the point of bringing it up? It wouldn't help anyone. It wouldn't make anyone feel better. And that's what Damon has become in the past few years, the way he's grown up. He doesn't take every opportunity to hurt. He can let things go, go easy on someone, restrain his natural instinct for destruction. Sometimes he does things he doesn't have to do. But not always. Not anymore.
Then Elena steels herself and insists that he'll be fine and she'll see him soon. And this is so, so gorgeous. Because Damon turns around, and there's Alterlaric. And he knows that whatever happens, she won't see him again. If Klaus's death doesn't take him out, Alterlaric will. Damon is not getting out of this. And even though he knows this, understands that this is their final goodbye, he simply responds, "Real soon." Just. Stunning. He will spare her even these few extra moments of pain and concern, because again, this is something he can do. And he won't get anything out of it. This is the end for him. But he does it anyway, because he loves her, and he can.
DAMON SALVATORE, YOU ARE A WONDER. I may be a Damon stan, but I'm not deluded. Damon is awful a lot of the time. It's something I love most about him. But sometimes, he can be unbearably wonderful, and in this episode, he was his best self. Fantastic stuff.
Also, all the awards to Ian and his ridiculous fucking flawless face, because he hangs up and tries to banter with Alaric, but he still looks so damn haunted by what's just happened. He's got the wounded puppy eyes down like a pro, and it appeals like crazy to the miserable, masochist shipper side of me.
Then Alterlaric literally punches Damon in the face (right after he's metaphorically had his heart ripped out, just, LOL, the things this show does to this boy), and I'm all, "Hey, that's how I feel!" Indeed. Thanks a lot, show.
So after all that, the Tyler/Caroline scene comes around, and I know I am a shameless OTP shipper, but honestly? After the subtle perfection that was that excruciating, heartbreaking D/E scene, this Forwood scene just seemed overdone. The D/E scene was amazing in that it was quiet - it packed SUCH an emotional punch, but on the surface it was a quiet phone conversation. Then Caroline comes running in dramatically, and it just felt like too much. Not gonna lie, this was one of those rare moments in which Candice did not do it for me. Her hysterical crying just felt way too over the top to me, and it distracted me from the legitimate emotional turmoil going on. I don't know, maybe I'm being unfair to this scene and Forwood in general. But I felt like it was too much.
I will say, the scene got a lot more interesting the second time around, knowing that it was actually Klaus. The actual implications of Klaus being in Tyler's body are gross and unsettling to the extreme, but at least it gave me something to think about upon rewatch, whereas the first time, I was sure I was supposed to feel something...but I just didn't.
Anyway, now that I know what I know, I really should have picked up that something was going on when Tyler/Klaus (Tylaus? Klyler? These two are impossible to combine (name-wise, not magic-wise, apparently), but I guess I'm going with Klyler? Feel free to defriend at will) when he mentioned he'd been with Bonnie, since we hadn't seen Bonnie since her sketchy as yet unknown plot with Klaus, but alas. I was still sort of reeling from the Phonecall of Doom scene, so I was not functioning on all cylinders.
But while we're on the subject of Klyler (oy), I find it interesting how Klaus is still shipping Caroline/future. "You're strong, and you have a beautiful future ahead of you." It intrigues me, how invested Klaus somehow is in what the future holds for Caroline, and what she can achieve in it. However, then Klyler and Caroline make out, and knowing it's actually Klaus is pretty fucking creepy and wrong and not ok. Alas.
To be honest, I didn't care much for this scene the first time around. It all seemed very trite, and it just didn't work for me. I wish I could be more intelligent about it, but I'm emotionally exhausted from breaking down every single minute detail from the previous scene, and I've just got nothing. Sorry my OTP bias blatantly skews everything in my recaps. But this scene was just there. Too much crying and sweeping music and "you have to go on without me" for me to be able to care about it. It might be painful, but it's not the right kind of pain for me. So, sorry, Forwood. Sorry your ship got so fucked over in so many ways. That being said, I'm pretty sure you'll be fine in the long run, because apparently you're Epic Love now, and if there's one thing we've learned, it's that this show will never kill an Epic Love, no matter how distasteful and faulty it's become.
I will say, I did enjoy the callback to 2x11, when Tyler tells Caro to go and she insists that she won't leave him. That episode was one of the best Tyler/Caroline episodes ever, so it was nice to remember a better time for these two and their writing. But also, clearly it was intentional, and it worked, so well done.
After the commercial break, Elena gets off the phone with Caroline and tells Matt that Tyler is dead. I don't know what it says about me and the writing for Tyler's 'death' that I found Matt's reaction to be by far the most affecting part of that storyline. I loved his furious breakdown. First of all, it was just super sad to see him crumble like that. But to me, it also felt like Matt was just anguished that Tyler was gone before they could fully fix things. I know they've seemed fine in the last few episodes, but it seems to me like Matt and Tyler have not fully repaired their relationship, and maybe I'm just projecting or something, but I like the idea that Matt was so angry and crushed because he knows that now he'll never have the chance to fix things.
"This isn't how our lives are supposed to be, Elena." You know, I hadn't given much thought to that line beyond thinking, "Oh, honey, I know," but now my OTP mind is spinning like crazy. Because Elena is all about 'should' in this episode. She's just trying to do what she's supposed to do. But here, Matt's telling her that this life they're stuck in isn't the life they were supposed to have. 'Should' went out the window a long time ago. So Elena's just trying to hold on to the 'supposed to' of it all, but Matt's essentially telling her that it's futile. And it will all be for nought anyway in about 10 minutes. It's an interesting thought.
Rebekah shows up to tell Elijah that Klaus is dead, and guys, I had SERIOUS feelings in this scene. Wow, the Originals have gotten to me. Rebekah's amazing, tearful face killed me, and watching Elijah try to be the big brother to her even as he was reeling with grief was gorgeous. Basically, this moment was flawless, and I loved it. Original Siblings for all the wins.
Then they reveal that Klaus really was the start of the Pierceatorbes bloodline, and I must say, I was a bit surprised that Klaus had been telling the truth. It's good to have this confirmed, however. And this show is certainly doing something right, because when Elijah wondered how the Salvatores and co were still alive, I was wondering right along with them. Maybe I'm just terrible at calling this show. But I didn't have a clue what they'd done to avert a Pierceatorbes mass death, so at least from my end, well done, show.
But here Bonnie comes to make it all (at least somewhat) clear. When she entered the caves, I was pretty much not at all surprised to see Tyler come out to meet her. TVD is one of those shows for which it is necessary to abide by the rule that unless you see someone's body decapitated, burned, and scattered in ash form in front of you, it's best to assume they're not actually dead. Ergo, cutting away as Tyler was just struggling? Yeah, kid's not dead. Even if he's Klyler now, he's just not dead.
LOL, Michael Trevino trying to do Joseph Morgan. I'll give him a bit of time to work on it, but I know I'm not alone in wondering if he can handle the impressive task of emulating/matching JoMo. Good luck, Trev.
Bonnie, meanwhile, was amazing in this scene. This is why I randomly ship Bonnie/Klaus (just like I randomly ship everything...). She is FIERCE and hard and awesome. I love Bonnie's 'srs bsns' face. Girl is badass.
And of course, the crux of the scene: "The spirits don't get to tell me what to do anymore. I'm done getting pushed around by all of you. I did it because I wanted to."
YES. YES YES YES. I am so thrilled by this. FINALLY, Bonnie is striking out against her deus ex machina persona. She's not going to just be a plot piece anymore. Look at the agency! I love it so. I particularly love that this comes right off the tails of Bonnie literally being controlled by the spirits (in 3x20, when they essentially took over her body to achieve their ends). Bonnie is tired of being quite literally under the control of the spirits, and she's going to reclaim herself and her own power and do what she wants to do. It might lead to Dark!Bonnie, as I postulated it might. It might just lead to a more active, self-driven Bonnie. Wherever it might go, this is a damn good place to start. I am pleased.
But then I get annoyed, because, SERIOUSLY? We're going to do the whole 'the villain warns our hero of her nefarious plot so he can swoop in and save the girl' thing? Ok, I know, Stefan doesn't actually manage to save the girl, but still. STUPID. Rebekah is smarter than this, and I resent the show for making her act so ridiculously.
Meanwhile, I know that Rebekah is bound to get a lot of hate for what she did here, but honestly, I get it, and I don't blame her. This is something I love about TVD vampires - they're not whitewashed. Rebekah hates Elena, and she doesn't care if she kills people, and this is what makes the most sense to protect her and her family. And I loved the bit about how she'd been running her whole life and she didn't want to run anymore. Allow me a moment of RebeKlaus OTP-ing, because in my head, Rebekah just doesn't have the strength or the will to keep running without Klaus by her side. He was what made that lifetime of running bearable. Without him, she can't fathom it.
On a purely personal note, I was super distracted by Rebekah's "Her and Matt should be arriving back in town any minute." SHE and Matt, Rebekah. Just, grr. Come on, writers. You're WRITERS. Get this right. #grammar/me, my true OTP
Oy. So Matt and Elena go careening toward Rebekah after a highly obvious fumble for phones (this is why California has outlawed cell phone usage while driving. TAKE HEED, Team Mystic Fals.), and I just can't be surprised or worried, because I'd been waiting for this all episode, thank you very much, promos. Not to mention that many people have been pointing out the sheer ridiculousness of Matt swerving out of the way to avoid an indestructible creature. Too silly. Whatever.
However, I did rather like the transition into the flashback crash. And the cruel tragedy of seeing Grayson promise Elena that they were going to be ok. Sometimes this show goes for the absolute most painful option, and you know what? IT FUCKING WORKS.
Meanwhile, Damon is having pretty much the worst day ever, bleeding on the floor. Digging the multiple trails of blood on his face, not gonna lie. Feel free to judge me on my inexplicable and vaguely alarming tastes.
But then I feel a bit like I've been gut-punched when Alterlaric mentions that Damon isn't fighting back. OH, MY BOY. My poor, poor boy. Because obviously he knows that he can't match Ric in any way. But he also doesn't much see the point in fighting back. He's not really being suicidal here. But there's nothing for him to fight for. Of course there is, and Damon gets over himself and shakes it off after a conveniently timed flashback, but for a few moments, he indulged himself in just giving in to the futility of it all.
Of course, I love Alterlaric being unsettled by Damon calling him Ric. It's a connection to his other self, the man who cared about vampires, the man he's trying to cut out, and it bothers him to remember that affection he once had for Damon. Even better, I fancy that Damon calling him that stirred a bit of our Ric inside of him, and Alterlaric just wants to turn it off (please shout it in a JoMo voice in your head for the full effect). Also:
Alterlaric: We're not friends.
Damon: We were.
I will never not be helpless to this kind of bromantic exchange. And of course, I love the callback to our Ric saying the same thing back in, what, 3x07? And Damon snarked and charmed and did his thing back then, but now everything is fucked up and miserable and ruined, but this time, Damon can reply with absolute certainty that they were friends. Ric died with Damon by his side, and Alterlaric can't take that away from either of them.
LOL, Damon is always part of the problem. My liability Salvatore. <3
Random aside: I consistently appreciate how this show is not afraid to ugly up its beautiful people. Damon looked rather terrible in this scene, all bloodied and gross. Way to go, show.
And now we get to the D/E flashback scene. Ok, I know this scene is a bit controversial, and there are all sorts of disagreements and ideas about it. But let's get one thing clear. I love this scene. Absolutely adore it. And I have reasons. A lot of them are face reasons, let's be honest (HOW ARE THESE TWO ALLOWED TO HAVE THOSE FACES? JUST.). But I also happen to think this scene did an absolutely brilliant job of characterizing both D/E and the evolution of Elena as a character. My interpretation of this flashback is a bit particular, but I'll do my best to explain it adequately. Meanwhile, welcome to my Official Defense of the D/E Flashback Scene.
Let's start with this: I've seen that a lot of people seem to think that flashback Damon was out of character. They saw season 3 Damon in a pre-season 1 scene. To this, I have to say, I categorically disagree. A lot of people distinguish season 1 Damon from season 2 or season 3 Damon, but I've always believed that Damon is Damon, and he just portrays different aspects of his personality depending on the situation, the person, and his mood. The crux of this is that Damon Salvatore is a performer, always. He constantly projects an image of himself, because that's how he maintains control. He doesn't like to be vulnerable, and he doesn't like for people to get a sense of him (that's why it gets to him so keenly when Elena sees through his act), so he postures. Season 1 Damon? Is just Damon playing the role of the irreverent bad boy with no morals and no feelings. The switch is a myth. Damon knows that. When has Damon EVER not felt anything? Even when he was pretending to be all switch-flippy, he was still devoting himself to rescuing Katherine, because after 145 years he still loved her. These are not the actions of a man with no feelings. The difference is that Damon had no intention of acquiring favor with anyone in Mystic Falls in season 1. He had no interest in reuniting with his brother. He just wanted to come in, get Katherine, and get out. Through a series of unforeseen events, he found himself working with his brother, and it harnessed latent feelings in him that made him want to stay. Not to mention that the wildcard of Elena played a role. Elena has always been able to pierce through his persona and understand him - THEY HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING - which is why their connection happened in the first place. Damon's act doesn't work on Elena. But he tried to keep it up for at least the first half of season 1. Damon only became 'season 2 Damon' because he had grown attached enough to both Stefan and Elena to inspire him to alter his own depiction of himself. He'd settled, he wanted to grow roots in this town, so he dropped the strict no caring act and went for something a little different. All this to say that the idea that season 1 Damon could find a random girl in the street and be nice to her? Is absolutely not out of character.
Take these two reasons. First of all, think about Bree. I often wonder how Damon's relationship with Bree started and commenced, since, despite the unfortunate end of their acquaintance, he did seem to genuinely care about her, at least in a way. Which just proves that Damon was never completely numb to the world. He never intended to be with anyone seriously - he was all about Katherine, after all - but he was capable of being somebody's sort of boyfriend. It might not have been life-changing, but it was meaningful enough.
Next up, and best of all: look at this scene. It's just Damon, this girl who intrigues him, and an empty road. There is no one around to perform for. It's just Damon and Elena. And he doesn't even realize it yet, but it makes a difference - he doesn't perform for her, because he can't. That's not to say that he's being totally open and honest with her, because, no. But he lets his guard down a little, because it's just the two of them, and he's going to mind-wipe her anyway, and there's no point to pretending. Damon performs for a reason. If there's no reason, he won't bother. So this flashback Damon? Is just Damon. That's all there is to it.
Ok, so that's Point of Defense #1. Never fear. I have more.
I've seen some critiques of Damon's easy acceptance that Elena is not Katherine. But again, this makes sense to me. Because, A) he knows that Katherine is in the tomb. Yeah, we realize this to be untrue, but Damon of this point in time couldn't possibly fathom the idea that Katherine could be out of the tomb and not looking for him. He has lived his entire vampire existence with the certainty that she is locked away, waiting for him. Why would he stop believing that just because he happens upon some lookalike in the road? Next, and more importantly, B) Elena is not Katherine. Elena is nothing like Katherine, at least not at this point. Damon has always been very good at seeing that. I'm not saying that to celebrate the D/E romance - often, Damon has compared Elena to Katherine unfavorably. But he sees it instantly. It's in the way Elena carries herself, in her expression and her reaction to him and her voice and outfit and everything. Damon is exceptionally perceptive. He can tell the difference. And it would never occur to him that Katherine was pretending to be someone else, because why would she? Katherine loves herself, and she wouldn't hide it away (not unless she's scheming, and Damon knows nothing of any of her scheming anyway - the version of Katherine in 1864 he knew was an incomplete version, and he knew nothing of what she was or how she would be in our time). Not to mention, in Damon's highly romanticized scenario, Katherine would be thrilled to see him. She wouldn't pretend not to recognize him. So when Damon happens upon this girl who claims she's not Katherine, he believes her. Yes, the resemblance is uncanny, but nothing else matches, so. That's that.
Ok, those are the two initial points of defense. Now for actual recapping. More will weave themselves into the telling.
So Damon's lying in the middle of the road like a glorious brat prince. He overhears a familiar voice, and we see Elena off on her own in the dark, talking to Bonnie on the phone. Again I'm struck with the failure of the Matt/Damon parallel when Elena says she 'can't bring herself to tell him,' presumably meaning she can't bear to tell Matt she's not into him. This is something I can't reconcile with D/E. Elena has never been afraid to let Damon down. It's only admitting to actually feeling something for him that paralyzes her. Assuring him she doesn't have romantic feelings for him? Been there, done that, could do it again in a second (if only it were still true).
Damon shows up with a typical ridiculous breeze of vampire trickery, and I just LOL. Oh, Damon. But he calls her Katherine, and I maintain my Point of Defense #2, because you can tell that he almost immediately realizes Elena isn't Katherine. His face falls pretty much right after he speaks, because he sees. The defense rests.
I love how Elena looks around and then just introduces herself. She might look a bit wary, but she's still so damn friendly. Oh, Elena, you were always doomed to form inappropriate friendships with monsters.
So Damon gets it pretty immediately, and he shakes it off. So this isn't Katherine, of course it's not, and instead it's this girl in the road alone at night, and he's interested. He just wants to know a bit more. So he introduces himself. And here we go.
She semi-criticizes him from the get-go, and he digs it, and fires right back, and we've got something going, people. Also, Elena utters the most intentionally hilarious line in the history of ever: "It's Mystic Falls. Nothing bad ever happens here." LOLOLOL ELENA, THIS IS THE WORST TOWN EVER. Legit hilarious. Go back to your bridge, troll writers.
And here's where it gets good. Elena mentions that she got into a fight with her boyfriend, and Damon inquires about what, and she confesses some of her concerns and insecurities. And Damon pinpoints that even with this kind of honesty, she's still deflecting. This is my favorite thing about this damn scene. Because, why is Elena telling him this? He is this random, borderline creepy stranger hanging out in the middle of nowhere. She should be freaked out or uncomfortable or at least distantly polite. But instead she's spilling her emotional turmoil out to him in a way she only has to her mother and best friend. Why? Because it feels right. Because she wants to. Because from the second they met, Damon and Elena have felt comfortable with each other, have fallen into this strange natural friendship despite circumstances, logic, or will. Because THEY HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING. She's never met this guy before, doesn't care about him or his opinions or feelings, and he likewise for her, and yet here they are, having an open, honest conversation about what she wants in life, because that's just how they work. They talk this out, because they have this instinct that says the other person can be trusted, can be helpful, will listen. This is the natural relationship they fall into that I'm always flailing about. It happens from the very start, because it's just part of who they are together.
And best of all, Damon reads her, reads into what she isn't saying, because he can. He understands her. Because Damon and Elena are the same person. They recognize each other as kindred spirits, even if they're fighting the identification. But here they're not fighting it, and Damon sees immediately that she's like him. That she's covering, deflecting, but she wants something unknown, wants it so keenly, and he calls her out on it, because Damon has never let Elena lie to herself. This scene is blissfully related to that amazing 1x03 scene in Elena's kitchen when Damon again reads her like a pro. I love when he declares that she's not into cheerleading anymore, and she acknowledges that he's right. He gets her, and she doesn't deny it. Meanwhile, she hits him with her understanding of the Katherine situation, and he realizes that she gets him too. These two have always been able to see right through each other, and I love that this scene proved that this is just something inherent to them. No matter how they met or what they knew about the other, they were always going to be like this. Because they're Damon and Elena.
Shameless moment of OTP flailing: HOW FUCKING CUTE ARE THEY when she asks him, "What, mysterious stranger who knows all the answers?" with that little smile on her face and he chuckles. It's just. I DIE. Perfection. And also part of why I'm obsessed with this scene. Because they just like each other. You can tell by the way they just fall into an easy banter, how they look at each other, all friendly and flirtatiously and, dare I say it, happily. They feel an instant camaraderie. This is why D/E is the ultimate BrOTP - they are friends. They have always been, first and foremost, a friendship. Because they're suited to each other. Because they have fun together, they make each other laugh, they're comfortable together. There is something inexplicably lighthearted about their relationship. Even in our current timeline, after all the pain and death and abject misery, they still, despite everything, enjoy the other's company. And that is established in this flashback, in their very first meeting - they like each other, simple as that. Strip away all the vampire drama, and you just have two people who meet and click.
And now we get to this flashback's reason for existing. A lot of people have criticized the 'consumption' bit for being obvious and overdone, and that's fair. But I loved it for some strange and complicated reasons which I'll explain later. But for now, let me say that I love the silly, overly romantic way Damon describes the kind of love he thinks Elena wants, because OF COURSE that's how he would describe it. Let's look at this boy. He's been waiting around for Katherine for 145 YEARS. He is an actor, a writer, a player (in the Shakespearean sense). He indulges in his flair for the dramatic. And more than anything, he revels in his role as a romantic hero. Because he's never gotten to be one. In 1864, he was the second choice, the inferior brother, the spare. So when Katherine was locked away, he chose to rewrite his own history. He insisted that he was the one for Katherine, that he would save her, just him. He willfully ignored the actual facts and cast himself as the Male Romantic Lead. And he will swoop into Mystic Falls and rescue his one true love, and they will ride off together into the sunset. This is what Damon has conditioned himself to believe in after a century and a half alone. So when he finds this girl on the road and instinctually identifies with her, of course he talks about a love that will 'consume' her. Because that's what he wants. That's what he has. He has allowed his love for Katherine to consume his life - he has defined himself thus. This is what he understands real love to be. So this is what he tells Elena she's looking for. Because he recognizes himself in her on a fundamental level, so he projects his own desires and vision onto her. Damon and Elena are the same person. So before he even knows a thing about her, he decides that she wants what he wants.
The glory of it all is that it's true. Because as much as Damon is projecting, Elena is like him, and she does want this. Elena is a 17-year-old girl, and more importantly, she's a reader. Ok, maybe this is just my own personal head!canon assuming that because she writes, she reads, but to me, Elena is one of those girls who grew up reading about the great literary romantic heroines. When she talks to Stefan in season 1 about her relationship with Matt, she confesses that it lacked passion. It is extremely telling that this is how Elena judges that relationship, because it proves that Elena has a vision of love that has yet to be met. Elena understands real love to be this overwhelming, passionate, consuming thing. It's a fantastical idea of love, and yet, it's the product of novels and youth and wild romantic hope. Passion is her qualifier, the criterion for love being 'real.' So when Damon gives her this quick psychoanalysis, she knows he's right. I'm not saying it's not a little silly. It is. But that's the point. These two people have foolish, faulty views about love. And they will learn the terrible cost of that love with each other, of all people. And isn't that just phenomenal.
Damon insists that Elena wants "passion, and adventure, and even a little danger." Because that's how Damon felt when he met Katherine. And Elena catches him off-guard and asks, "So, what do you want?" And he kind of freezes. Because I don't think he's used to people asking him that. But more than that, he's just told her what he wants, without even realizing it. Because to him, that's what love is. There isn't any other way.
Then Elena's parents drive up, and he compels her. "I want you to get everything you're looking for." People have complained that this is too sweet to be season 1 Damon. But again, I disagree. Because Damon has always been capable of kindness, when he wants to be. But most importantly, the fantastic thing about this scene is the way the Elena and Damon instinctively recognize themselves in the other, without even realizing it. So at the end of this random, happenstance meeting, Damon wishes her to find whatever it is that she's looking for, because he genuinely wants her to have it. Because that means that he can have it too. They are the same person, and he wants her to be happy, because he wants to be happy. They're in this crazy miserable love thing together. So he wishes her the best, because for these few brief moments, they connected.
Then he compels her to forget him, and I am in awe of the perfection of it all. It's gorgeous, and sad, and wonderful, and I love everything about it.
Side note: I think "Goodnight, Elena" is becoming a bit of a tagline for Damon. Though maybe it's just that the boy always insists on having the last word.
So now we come to my view of the larger impact of this scene, and my reason for loving the consuming business so dearly. Damon and Elena meet, and he figures out she wants this grand romantic love that will sweep her away. Then he takes the memory away, but deep down inside, she still knows it's true. Cut to months later, after the accident, when Elena is leading a different life. She's still the same girl at her core, and she meets Stefan, and thinks that maybe this is it. Maybe this could be the consuming love she's always wanted. That is the core of the ridiculous Epic Love business in early season 1. It's not that S/E is actually epic. It's that Elena wants them to be. She feels this spark with this unusual boy, and she chooses to take it as passion, because that's what she's looking for. Her relationship with Matt was largely a friendship, but with Stefan, everything is a little deeper, a little more exciting, and she's intrigued by it. She chases the possibility of passion. The thing is, her love for Stefan? Is not the kind of love that Damon described. I'm not trying to diminish the depth of Elena's feelings for Stefan. She loves him, and it's very real. But it's not passion and adventure and danger. And honestly, there's nothing wrong with that. The kind of love that Damon is talking about can be destructive. It's certainly exhausting and hard and trying. A 'consuming' love is never easy. She falls in love with Stefan, and it's deep and amazing, but it doesn't consume her. Then comes Damon (again).
Damon is the kind of boy she can have this type of love with. Damon undoes her, makes her crazy, shuts down all her logic and whittles her down to pure feeling. Damon and Elena are the same, which means they can love the same way - overwhelmingly, all-consumingly, with total abandon. And throughout her relationship with him, especially in season 3, I think Elena's come to realize that. She understands that Stefan is the love she 'should' have, and Damon is the stuff of novels and fantasies and fairy tales. Damon is the kind of love she wanted when she was 17, waiting for her parents on a deserted road. And you know the very best part? Here, at the end of season 3, after everything - she doesn't want it.
And this is why I am utterly in love with this flashback. Because it shows who Elena was, who Elena still is, in a way. It takes this romantic trope of an intense, passionate love that captivates you. And it denies it, like D/E denies every romantic cliche. Our current Elena knows, even without remembering this scene, that her past self would have chosen Damon. And she's spent years pining away for that Elena, pedestallizing who she used to be, wishing she could get back to who she was, the normal human Elena. And in the car with Matt, somewhere between Mystic Falls and Damon, she has the chance to be that Elena again, to choose what she would have chosen, to recapture her former self - and she rejects it. This is Elena recognizing that she is still that same Elena, that girl who wanted passion and adventure and danger, but that now, she's choosing differently. She's staying with the Matt of the situation, prioritizing her friends and her family and all the 'should's in her life. Because this is who she has to be now. This is how she's choosing to grow up. Past Elena would have chosen Damon, because Damon is who she wants. But present Elena can't, because acting on want isn't right anymore, not to her. It's not about want, it's about should. So she chooses Stefan, and in letting Damon go, she lets her past self go as well.
That's the tragedy of this scene. It's not that if Elena remembered she'd met Damon first, she would have picked him instead. That's not the case. I love this scene to distraction, but I don't for a second think that Elena remembering this meeting after her transition will change her mind. Because it doesn't matter who she met first. The only thing that matters is that Elena herself is different. She's letting go of that desire for a love that's passionate, dangerous, all-consuming. And something about that makes me terribly sad.
One last thing about this flashback and what it means, and then I promise I'll move on. Warning: this is highly OTP-influenced. But I have to say, I LOVE that Damon met Elena first...and then didn't stalk her because she looks like Katherine. There's such a marked difference between how Stefan dealt with the revelation of Elena and her resemblance to Katherine and how Damon handled it. Because Stefan saw this girl and watched her for months because he 'had to be sure' or something. Damon talked to her for two minutes, knew immediately that she wasn't Katherine, and moved on. I will never be ok with the lack of exploration of Stefan's transference issues, but I love that the show has made it canon that Damon's ability to separate Katherine and Elena is not just because he already knew she wasn't Katherine. He figures it out by himself, and it doesn't make a difference - he still wants Katherine, and no matter how identical Elena is to her, he has no interest in finding a replacement to the original. So when he finds himself intrigued by her, it's all to do with who Elena is, and not who she looks like.
OK SORRY this recap turned out to be not at all non-OTP-biased. Would you believe the clearly partisan recap is still to come?
But the flashback ends, and after it all, somehow, Damon remembers that he has to fight. Because he's not a martyr, and it doesn't matter that the girl didn't choose him. The girl is still there, and he needs to get home to her, because he promised he would. So he stands up, and he fights.
And here we are. Elena, trapped in a car below Wickery Bridge. This is where it started, and this is where it ends.
I love the shot of the bridge, quiet, even peaceful. And then we go underwater, and there's this sort of still beauty to it all. Again, it's quiet, and soft, and it makes it all that much more tragic, and that much more beautiful. Plus the damn music, which, fuck you, TVD. Go back to your bridge and leave my emotions alone.
The intercutting between the current scene and the flashback was stunning. That is what made this scene for me. The parallels, the bookended tragedy, it was all utterly flawless. And Elena and Grayson, both together and apart, kill me. Just destroy me. The moment when Elena and Grayson join hands, when she mouths that she loves him, all of it, it's just gorgeous. And my favorite part is when Grayson shakes his head, telling her there's nothing to be done, and she just nods. Her quiet strength, both for herself and for her father, it just shatters me. This is our girl. Elena Gilbert, strong, steadfast, glorious, whether she be facing down ancient vampires or quietly confronting her own death and letting her father know it's ok. I am lost to the absolute beauty of it all.
Then Stefan arrives, because he was always going to. If this show is going to bookend, then it is damn well going to bookend. And we all knew that Grayson insists that Stefan save Elena first. Of course he does. He demands that his daughter's life comes before his own. But now we have Elena, my glorious girl. And she insists that Stefan save Matt first. Let's just ignore the completely valid and totally ridiculous fact that Stefan could have saved them both. That was just writing fail. The important part is that Elena is her father's daughter. I don't know why this filled me with such a sense of pride - we barely even knew Grayson - but alas, it did. I felt such a rush of adoration for this girl that she has lived up to the standard her parents set in every way and more. I adore the parallels between Elena and Grayson. I love that in the past, Grayson is trying to break the window, but in the now, Elena is the one who fights. She has inherited her father's strength and his courage and his selflessness. Elena has always felt that she needed to atone for her parents' death. Well, here she is, in this same situation, and she will forgive herself by being as good as her father was. She will fix it by correcting her past mistake. Back then, someone else died for her. This time, she will die for someone else. Balance is restored.
Stefan saves Matt, and Elena dies. And for one gorgeous, tragic moment, it's ok. Elena can go like this.
A moment of Show appreciation: Wickery Bridge was the obvious choice for this scene for a lot of reasons, but personally, I love the connection to 3x11, and I love that it's Matt in the car with her. Because he is one of her last real human connections, and he was the one standing by her side at her 'funeral,' right here at this bridge. "Here lies Elena Gilbert." It's phenomenal foreshadowing, and I love the show for it. Matt and Elena had a ceremonial funeral here for her, and now she's really dying here, because this is her spot. This is where she dies and is reborn and then dies and is reborn again.
Meanwhile, Damon is putting up a good fight against Alterlaric, until Elena's death crashes that party. And it's heartwrenching, the way Damon instantly knows what's happening, and how he can't accept it, even as he's crumbling under it all.
Jeremy is calling Matt, worrying, and rightly so, and there's Alaric. And as much as I usually roll my eyes at spirits from beyond promising their living loved ones that they'll watch over them, this time, it works. Because that's all Alaric ever wanted to do - watch over these kids. And he and Jeremy had this particular bond, but despite everything, Alaric failed. It all went wrong, and he couldn't save them. He couldn't save Elena from death, and he couldn't save Jeremy from losing yet another family member. But he can promise Jeremy that he'll always be there, in whatever way he can. When he promises that Jeremy will never be alone, it just hits me. Because Jeremy is alone. He's just lost his last family member. Nothing can ever fix that.
Though it seems that Jeremy has been spending too much time with Anti-Subtext Donovan, because his "Oh my god, you're a ghost!" was fairly lol-worthy. Sorry, Jeremy. But way to ruin the moment a little bit.
And there's Elena, well and truly dead. Still and lifeless on a morgue slab, and it's awful, especially contrasting with the oddly beautiful shot of her floating in the water. This is the cold hard truth of death. And Stefan sits over her, looking, in all honesty, a little Ripper-y. This is Stefan at his most destroyed. And it should be. But more on that later.
In striking contrast, as always, Damon comes blazing in in a fury. Not even gonna lie, I love single-minded, furious, grief-stricken Damon. The way he just powers through everyone and still pushes against Meredith when she stops him just does things to me. I love this boy, and I love seeing him devastated.
Meredith reveals what she did, and I'm kind of fascinated by the way she phrases it. "I helped her. She needed my help." This could be one of the worst things to ever happen to Elena. And it could be her salvation. Either way, I find it intriguing that Meredith calls it help. It seems so mundane, and so teamwork-y, and yet, this has changed absolutely everything.
And I love Damon's face when he says, "You what?" It is such a glorious mix of hope and horror and rage. Damon's reaction to all of this is going to be amazing. Because he will be so thrilled and grateful that Elena isn't really dead. But the rest of it? He'll hate every single bit of it. Let's watch this trainwreck, shall we?
And I get it, I'm fairly quick on the uptake. So Elena waking up and gasping into the camera didn't shock me or anything. But here we go. Let's do this. Vampire Elena. I'm ready.
But we're not quite done. Can you even believe that I have more to say? But we need to briefly touch on the subject of Stefan's choice. Many, many people have been talking about this, and I don't really feel like I have anything to add. Stefan's choice was exceptionally complicated. Some think he was respecting Elena's agency by obeying her and saving Matt instead. That may be true, but it's certainly not the romantic choice. Here's the thing. There was no right choice (beyond saving them both, seriously, WHAT EVEN, WRITERS. They need to make up a reason for why Stefan couldn't have saved them both STAT, because right now it's just silly). Elena wanted Stefan to save Matt, and he did. Matt deserves to live. But that doesn't make this the right choice. There are times when someone's desires need to be ignored. Elena letting herself die is one of those times. Elena might love Stefan for heeding her wishes. Personally, I hope she hates him for it too, because that's by far the more interesting choice narratively. In my perfect world, Elena would logically appreciate that Stefan always allowed her to call the shots, but on a purely instinctive level, she would loathe him a little too, because he let her die. He let her die. This is an extraordinarily complicated issue, and I can't say that any choice would have been the right one, but I am sure that this was not the right one. Elena died when she could have been saved. That will never be the right choice.
So what I want is for everyone to be miserable next season, basically. I want Stefan to be effused with self-loathing and regret and horror. I want Damon to be enraged and judgmental and guilt-ridden. I want Elena to struggle, REALLY struggle, with vampirism. I love Caroline and her whole season 2 vamp storyline, but I think her transition was too easy. One dead guy and a bonding session with Stefan and she seems to be just fine. I want Elena to be dark. I need to her feel that emotional intensity, heightened everything that vampires feel, and I want it to mess her up. I want that amazing fierce Elena that's been in her the whole time to EXPLODE. Let's just have everything be a terrible disaster that I will watch with popcorn and flails of glee. Who's with me?
And to conclude: ready for the final word count? Prepare for horror: 19,554 WORDS. OH NOES. I laugh at my past self for feeling bad about 10,000 words. This is the actual worst. APOLOGIES ABOUND. Just. Wow. At least this is the last one of the season, right? You won't have to endure another one of these for five long months. Alas.
But to those of you who've been sticking through these til the eventual end, thank you for bearing with me and indulging me. I've become excessively fond of recapping, and it's become rather essential to my processing of every episode, so thanks for letting me rant and flail with you all. Good times, man. Ready for season 4?