TVD 3x22: "It's Mystic Falls. Nothing bad ever happens here." (Part I)

[dante_kent]

Hello, all. Remember me? I know this recap is so absurdly late that it's more than likely that no one cares anymore. Alas. This took me FOREVER to write, and I am damn well posting it, even if no one ever reads it. However, I am posting it in two parts, because I have officially reached the limit of what LJ will allow me to post in one entry. YEAH. It's that long. My shame consumes me (YES THAT WORD CHOICE WAS INTENTIONAL, TROLOLOL). Alas. Fair warning. 


P.S. This recap was written over a series of six nights, so it might be a bit repetitive and non-cohesive in parts, since I usually write my recaps in one long session. Apologies. 
So here we are. I've given myself ages to deal with all my complicated feelings and thoughts about this episode, and I haven't watched a single second of it since my first watch. I'm a bit terrified to open the floodgates, but when I fell for this show I signed up for an eternity of misery, so this is just part of the deal. And I have four months to recover from whatever this will do to me, so I can power through this last recap of the season. Ready? (No, not at all. Regardless.) Here we go.

We start, as ever, from the beginning.

Oh, hello, parallels. We start the season with Elena lying in bed awake, miserable and forlorn, room shadowy and mood-lit to the extreme. Here at the end, her room is flooded with sunlight, and Elena is actually asleep! Has that ever happened before? Though she was probably just faking, because she looks ridiculously alert and peppy the second her alarm goes off (at 6:45, just.), which, NO. Elena, you are a glorious warrior princess, but no one can be that cheery and perfect-looking at that ungodly hour, not even you. Also, I'm pretty sure it's not that bright out at 6:45. I am regularly awake at 6:45. This gleaming sunlight is several hours away. Alas. Who would I be if I didn't dwell on the little details in this, the last recap of season 3?

Ugh, this song. I guess Flashback!Elena has terrible taste in music? And seriously awkward dance moves. Did anyone else find her cheerful jigging strangely awkward-looking? Perhaps I just don't recognize what happiness is anymore.

She looks in the mirror and smiles, and it's a glaring departure from the bracing sigh we're used to. Oh, Elena. I already hurt for you, bb, and it's going to get so, so much worse.

Dude, that cheerleader outfit is TINY. Ok, people whose high schools had actual cheerleaders: is this accurate? Did girls seriously walk around all day in these minuscule ensembles? Feeling very scandalized right now.

I still ship Elena/high ponytail like crazy, though.

Um. Did Elena and Jenna just have a conversation about Jeremy wanking off? Ok then.

But it's good to see Jenna again! Sadly, I really have no idea what her function was in this episode. A discussion of the overall use and/or effectiveness of the flashbacks will come later, but still. Jenna is typically useless, but lovely to see anyway.

Elena's mom is adorable, and I am unsurprised. This damn family.

Then suddenly we're in the hospital, and everything just comes crashing down. It's an obvious technique, but the shift in light really is effective. We have this sunny, vibrant world, and in a flash we're back in this grim, muted, stifling atmosphere. And of course, this is where we stay.

Unsurprisingly, the sight of Elena in a hospital bed makes me just want to wrap her up in blankets and feed her pie. This girl does things to me.

Meredith tries to reassure Jeremy, and I find her fairly sympathetic here. I am down with the idea of keeping Meredith around, though I must admit I'm not thrilled at what I suspect will be done with her. But I suppose we'll see.

LOL forever at Jeremy's face when she asks him if he wants to call someone. He's just "Fuck fuck I have to call the Salvatores stupid fucking dramatic vampires OY." ILU, Jeremy.

From the very first second, Damon has me. I am helpless to this man. His absolute judgmental horror at Jeremy's actions is flat out hilarious. To be fair, Jeremy has a point: unconscious sister? Go to hospital. But that's a human solution, and there's no place for that anymore. But Damon's "parade of vampires" comment made me gleeful, so thanks, Jeremy, for fucking up and providing me with lolz.

OH HAI BROTHERSHIP MOMENT. Damon remarks that he appreciates Stefan for not being the dumbest brother on earth, and I could question his statement, but then I remember, this is Team Mystic Falls, and that's really not saying much. But, brothers!!! The actual brotherly love in this episode made my heart sing.

Stefan mentions that one of them has to keep moving, and I'm trying not to be harsh on Stefan Salvatore here, but it certainly does seem to me like he's pulling some typical Stefan moves here. There was never really a question of who was going to have to keep moving and who would be returning Chez Gilbert to 'take care' of Elena. Stefan pretending it was a choice is disingenuous and frankly, a bit obnoxious. We know the status quo, Stefan Salvatore. You get to be the savior. Don't pretend like it could ever be otherwise. It's unbecoming.

And Damon, my glorious, pathetic boy, plays along. "Our life is one big proverbial coin toss." No, Damon, it's not. Because just like the last coin toss, this one has nothing to do with the actual coin. It doesn't matter if it's heads or tails. Stefan has a role and Damon has a role. They have locked themselves into these parts, and any talk of a coin toss is just to conjure up a spectre of an option. But there was never a real question. Stefan lost the coin toss for Abby's life, and Damon took the fall anyway. It's not that Damon is letting Stefan win. It's that these boys have both been so conditioned to believe in which role they're supposed to play that they can't break out of it. Damon will get everything done, and Stefan will be the hero. They don't know how to live differently. It's just another version of the good!brother/bad!brother dichotomy. The Salvatores typecast themselves. So Damon's line here is just part of the act. We will pretend there was an equal shot, that either of them could have been on Klaus chauffeur patrol. But not for a second was there an actual question of who would do what.

Alaric is lurking in Meredith's office, and his creepy sinister friendliness is as enjoyable as ever. I will miss Alterlaric, in my way.

Also, his spy network is amusing. And the idea that the citizens of this terrible town are actually competent when not being interfered with is equally amusing. This is Mystic Falls, Worst Town Ever. Don't be foolish, Alterlaric. The only competence to be found here is in the retail industry (costumes and attire for every occasion!). Everything else is predictably awful.

Why is Meredith so distressed that Alterlaric is pouring out her vampire blood stash? Can't she just call up any member of the Parade of Vampires for a refill?

Alterlaric plans to depose Mayor Lockwood and Sheriff Forbes, and I can't say that isn't deserved. They both seem pretty terrible at their jobs, tbh. But question: was Carol ever actually elected as mayor? Or is this just the longest interim ever?

In an intriguing turn of events, Alterlaric's plan...is not actually a bad one? Getting this town 'back under control' seems like a pretty decent idea, honestly. But that's the fun of Alterlaric. Good motivations. Terrible, terrible execution (hey, look, an inadvertent pun! Oyyy sorry.).

Alterlaric goes to claim Elena, but look, Jeremy got her out! Well done, Littlest Gilbert. Score one for Team Mystic Falls (this may be their only point for the rest of the episode, but hey, at least they didn't get shut out).

Not gonna lie, I got happy feelings at the sight of Elena's friends bringing her home. This little family can be very wonderful, and I loved that the friendship theme from the end of the last episode carried through to this one. These people take care of each other, and it's lovely to actually get to see them do it. And it was cute that Matt and Tyler were going to check the closets. Oh, boys.

Nurse Caroline is the best. Except for her suggestion of giving vodka to the recent head trauma patient, because that seems like a truly terrible idea. I have very little medical knowledge, but this seems like wildly irresponsible advice. Alas.

Caroline and Elena are wonderful together. And I love getting to see Caroline taking care of Elena. Obvious picture placement is obvious, but the photo of Elena's parents just reminds us that Elena doesn't have a mother around. Sometimes Caroline can be that mother. It's smothering, and it's nice. That's what having parents is like, isn't it?

Ok, why are there so many pictures of Elena in her cheerleading outfit in this house?

Flashback Numero Due pops up, and there's an immediate contrast between the Caroline of today and the Caroline of yesteryear. Yes, we know, show, Caroline has had tremendous character development in the past three seasons. Maybe we could get back to that, yes?

More tongue-in-cheek references to the terrible futures of these poor kids. Bonnie psychically predicts things, AND Elena manages to get in a quick CW advertisement. Well done, show. Way to multitask.

I have to say, seeing Matt and Elena be all cute and couple-y was a bit unsettling. This pairing just does not do it for me. Fortunately, it doesn't seem to do it for Elena either, so.

Bonnie urges Elena not to string him along, and I brace myself for parallels. The problem is, the Matt situation doesn't really parallel our OT3 issue at all. Alas.

Elena wakes from her flashback to find Matt WATCHING HER SLEEP. WHAT. This was straight up creepy and hilarious. Not ok, Matt. Just. No.

Elena apologizes to Matt for not making up her mind about him sooner back in the day, and then tries to reassert the faulty OT3 parallels. I still don't think it works, but what can you do. Meanwhile, I have tons and tons of thoughts about what they did with the timing and setup of this episode, but I think I'll save that for Recap Part II, which will be read at your own risk. So, get excited (or run for the hills). But for now, Stefan rushes in right on cue to be the grand Romantic Hero, and Elena dives into his arms, and I will save all my eye-rolling for the aforementioned Recap Part II. For now, suffice to say, it happened.

Jeremy is picking up food for Elena (presumably), and he is very courteous to the kitchen staff. I approve of this boy's manners.

Then Alteralaric shows up, but wait a sec. You're trying to clean up this town, but you're handing a 17-year-old kid a beer in public? I am perplexed my your reasoning, ex-Mr. Saltzman.

BLEGH, this scene. I'd forgotten about this. Elena flounces off in a huff of anti-damselness, and Matt asks if Stefan's really going to let her call all the shots, to which Stefan replies, "Let her make her own decisions." I appreciate what they do with this at the end of the episode, obviously. But I do not care for the fact that Stefan is STILL being lauded as so wonderful for allowing Elena to call all the shots, because I still don't see his behavior as him respecting her right to decide her own fate. I've ranted about this before, so I won't subject you to it now, but still. Did not care for this moment. Especially when Stefan makes it all about how his free will was taken away from him and all that, and it just didn't work for me. Sorry, Stefan. Go find another narrative.

But hey look, Elijah's at the door! Have I mentioned lately how infinitely preferable I find his new haircut to be? I LOVE IT. #that is the real importance of this scene

Yeah, but this wasn't shocking at all, because Elijah was in the previews. Moving on.

Alterlaric tries to extract information from Jeremy, and Jeremy plays the typical bratty teen. I approve.

Then Alterlaric tries to mindfuck Jeremy into joining his team, and he gives a pretty convincing argument. I find it interesting that it was never once discussed that perhaps Alterlaric should be allowed to kill at least some of the Originals. Not that I'm advocating for genocide or anything, and I've always been very firmly Team Vampire, but you'd think SOMEONE would have considered the idea that it might be good for the world to be at least somewhat rid of vampires. Whatever. I like my vampires, so I'm cool with it.

And to give credit where credit is due, Alterlaric is willing to do everything for his cause. His promise to let them lock him away for the rest of Elena's natural life was genuine, and it proved him to be a proper, if flawed, righteous zealot. This is something I find very interesting about Alterlaric. He really does mean well. His methods are faulty as all hell, but he intends to do the right thing, and his steeliness in the face of his own demise is admirable.

Meanwhile, Elijah's laying out his own plan, and it's a pretty decent one. I think Elena was an absolute idiot for trusting Elijah at the end of last season, but this time, I buy it. I'm with Elijah. Seems like a decent plan. But maybe I just want Klaus's body to be properly protected (OOPS).

"Perhaps that'll finally teach him some manners." WIN, Elijah. The Original Manners Mistress.

Ok, Damon on speakerphone? THE BEST EVER. Too much amazing. Just. Glorious brat prince. "NOT." Damon, you are actually a teenage girl. He's Regina George, damnit!

And as usual, Damon's not wrong. I know the deal wasn't technically upheld, since harm DID come to Klaus's body, but that wasn't their fault, which Rebekah saw firsthand. Which means the point is that the Originals really can't be trusted. Because, yes, one of them tried to kill Elena the first chance she got. And as it happens, she succeeded.

Damon's chorus of no's and aggrieved frustration at Stefan making it Elena's call were all A++++. Damon continues to be perfect in all things.

Original Siblings feelings!!! Elijah wants Klaus's body, simply because he's his brother. "We remain together." Always and forever. I do love me some Original siblings.

Tyler and Caroline answer the call of their mothers, and are instructed to flee for the foreseeable future. Carol and Liz are trying to do right by their children, and that's excellent, but I find the notion of these two teens on the run indefinitely strangely amusing? Also, it was never going to happen, because this show loves Caroline, and there's no way they were going to have an entire storyline of Caro and Tyler traveling the world. As amusing as that might be.

Matt and Jeremy have a Team Human meeting on the steps, and contemplate plotting against the vampires. At least Jeremy is smart enough to realize they don't have a chance. But I do love the Gilbert love. Even if it's just setting the stage for so much more misery for this tragic family.

So question: how does Matt know where Klaus's body is? Does he actually? I'm confused by this. Not that it matters.

Jeremy calls Alterlaric, and I had a brief moment of dismay that he let himself be played like that. But then it turns out that he's smarter than that, and I apologize for ever doubting you, Jeremy Cleaver Gilbert. Carry on.

Meanwhile, Caroline and Tyler are debating their own crisis, and I do appreciate that Tyler mentions that their mothers need them to survive. Good on you, Tyler.

Ok, brace yourselves for a bit more Caroline/Tyler criticism. I get that it's sweet and romantic that Caroline will follow Tyler anywhere. But. Um. When did all this happen? When did Caroline/Tyler become this epic forever love? Honestly, I don't understand the progression of this relationship. It started beautifully as these two sort-of friends who became drawn to each other based on similar experiences and understanding and mutual trauma. Then they fell for each other, but it was a quiet thing, and still in progress. They weren't *in love* yet, at least not as I understood it. They were developing. But then 3x01 happened, and they jumped the gun completely. Not that I'm not in favor of some sexing, because, well, obviously, but then they seemed to skip from lust-induced hookup to happy in love couple, and I just could not track it. Then they were starcrossed lovers torn asunder by the evil Klaus, and now they're at "I will follow you anywhere" and 'I just need you' and the like? I don't get it! I just feel like this ship has been criminally rushed. It's fallen victim to romantic cliches and stereotypes and the unfailingly terrible trap of Inexplicable Epic Love, and it is an awful waste. Because the unnecessarily frenzied pace of their path to Epicness has caused me to lose all my emotional investment in them, when I really did love them dearly in season 2. So we have this Forwood scene that's supposed to make me flail in shipper glee, and instead I just could not care. Sorry, Forwood. You lost me. Sorry about your narrative.

Basically, I found this scene trite and uninteresting. Though I did enjoy Caroline's remark that she needed a curling iron. Girl doesn't just wake up with that fantastic hair. But more than anything, this scene made me POSITIVE that Tyler was doomed. Come on. I know how these things go (and Forwood has done absolutely nothing to subvert expectations, so.). Romantic bliss, a plan to run off and live happily ever after? Yeah, no. Someone's gonna die. The second he said he would meet up with her in two hours, my head started ringing with "And she never saw him again." It was obvious. And strangely enough, I'd actually thought that Tyler might make it through the finale unscathed. I figured his death was too obvious, so they might try to avoid it. But this scene made me absolutely sure that Caroline/Tyler were not going to get their happy ending. And sadly, I was very 'whatever' about this. Alas. (It's not like I didn't feel my fair share of misery in this episode, though, so I guess I should take the apathy where I can get it.)

Bonnie and Damon proceed to converse in a scene that consists entirely of them walking down the world's longest hallway. Walking and talking like real detectives - it's practically Law & Order. Keep it moving, kids. Makes you seem very busy and important.

"You know what else is her call? Everything bad ever."

OMG. THE BEST. THE ACTUAL BEST. Damon Salvatore, you astound me. Also, true. Sorry, Elena, you know I adore you. But. True.

Lol, Damon wanted to use locker 666. This guy, just.

So why 1020? Just some random number? Whatever.

So I was trying to figure out the significance of the items in Damon's storage space ("minifridge, a couple birdcages, box full of playboys"), and I realized in a moment of glorious clarity that the birdcages are TOTALLY FOR DAMON'S CROW! BALDAVINO!!!!! It's the only answer. I died. I died of joy.

And as usual, this seems like an excellent plan. Keep Klaus in a perhaps unlocked storage locker. Never change, Team Mystic Falls (except do, if any of you want to survive ever OH WAIT TOO LATE.).

Klaus opening his eyes was legit creepy. Damon's reaction was spot on. That boy is basically the in-canon manifestation of my own personal reactions. Anyway, well done, show, because this was eerie and I liked it.

Jam the "bat signal," Bonnie. I WILL MISS YOU THESE LONG FOUR MONTHS, DAMON.

Damon may be by far the cleverest member of Team Mystic Falls, but he's still a member of Team Mystic Falls, so he's prone to some seriously questionable lapses in judgment. Leaving Bonnie alone with Klaus is one of those lapses. Alas. Worked out for him, really. But if he walked off, closed the locker door, and actually thought Bonnie WASN'T planning some solo mission? Not your best moment, Damon.

However, Bonnie was flat out awesome. She was fierce and brave and calculating, and it was great. And she really does save the day. Though I'm still not quite sure why she couldn't tell people what she'd done, at least after the fact, but whatever. Bonnie is the Head Witch In Charge, and I dig it.

Ok, let's talk about this S/E scene. Warning: this analysis is going to sound very shipper biased. But I'm not relegating it to Recap Part II because I really think (at least I hope) that my thoughts about this scene are genuinely separated from my OTP glasses viewing. I did my very best to read the scene objectively, and I honestly think this show was trying to portray Stefan/Elena in a sort of muted, forced way. So let's get to it.

But allow me one moment of total shipper bias: Stefan tries to soothe Elena, and he touches her face, and seriously, MY OTP DOES FACE TOUCHING SO MUCH BETTER. Right? Yes.

Oh, Elena, my tragic, wonderful girl. She confesses that she worries that every time someone walks out of this house there's a chance they might not make it back. But this time, the only person who won't make it through is her. (And can we take a moment to think about how the second she leaves this house, she literally won't be able to come back? The next time she tries to enter Chez Gilbert, she will be physically barred, because she needs an invite. My poor, poor girl.)

So how much is Stefan going to be absolutely torn up by the fact that he failed to keep his promise to Elena to ensure they all come back? Prepare for the Younger Salvatore angst, people.

Stefan starts to walk away, and Elena calls him back before changing her mind, and it's all pretty conventional starcrossed romance stuff. Especially when he turns around and kisses her, carpe diem and all that. Meh. Whatever.

HOWEVER. Here's where the comparisons start. I know it sounds heavily biased to compare the S/E in this scene to past D/E, but honestly, the show itself has set up the theme of comparison, and it can't be helped. Because everything about the OT3 in the past few episodes has been about Elena trying to sort out her feelings for the Salvatores, and they are necessarily tied up in each other. Elena has to decide which set of feelings (and which type of feelings) outweigh the other, so everything she does with one brother must be measured against everything she's done with the other. All this to say, yes, I am about to contrast this S/E with D/E, WHAT OF IT?

Because we need to talk about 3x10. I know the whole 'about to leave but then turning back for one last kiss' thing is a pretty standard romantic trope, and maybe it's just my OTP glasses talking (I try to keep them off, but they are soldered to my face now, there is nothing to be done), but this S/E kiss comes too close on the tails of the 3x10 D/E kiss to not be related in any way. In both cases, the brothers turn back and take Elena by surprise. Which means that her reactions are pretty telling.

First of all, it's very typical of the way these two ships have been portrayed that this scene lacks the element of reckless abandon. It's a nearly identical structure, but there's something altogether more measured in the way Stefan handles it. There is no "fuck it, I'm doing this because I WANT to, even if I shouldn't," which was the essence of Damon's psyche when he pulled the same move. Stefan is very much in control here, both of the situation and his own feelings.

But really, this whole scene is about Elena, so let's overanalyze kissing scenes, huzzah! This is going to sound very OTP-influenced, but I've watched both scenes over and over now, and the contrast just seems so striking. Elena is not into this kiss. She lets it happen, and she feels something for Stefan, she honestly does. But this kiss? Does very little for her. Her demeanor throughout the whole thing is very uncomfortable, and I'm pretty positive Nina did it intentionally. She just stands there and lets it happen, which, to be fair, is also what she did with Damon, but it's somehow so different. Let's get super specific.

The 3x10 kiss was remarkable in that it was entirely underwhelming. It was not the grand passionate OTP kiss we'd been waiting for (which we got in 3x19, THANK GOD). It was a bit static and awkward and reserved. But it wasn't entirely devoid of feeling. Elena doesn't throw herself into it, but she is engaged. She leans in, she lingers, she gets a bit caught up in it. And you all know my absolute favorite part. THE HANDS. Favorite favorite forever. She can't let herself fall completely into that kiss with Damon, but she reaches up and takes his hand, because she's in this too, and she feels it, and it means something. She connects with him, even as she holds herself back somewhat.

Now take this S/E kiss. She's not outright rejecting him (of course she's not. For better or for worse, Elena does not know how to reject Stefan.). But when Stefan walks off and the camera cuts to the full shot of Elena, there she stands, hands at her sides, looking rather frozen and awkward. No part of her was actively engaged in this kiss. It really struck me as an uncomfortable stance, like she doesn't quite know what to do with herself. Something I love so hard about Damon/Elena is how comfortable physically they are with each other. It doesn't make any sense for them to be so, given their ridiculous UST and complicated feelings for each other, but when they're not paying attention to the raging issues between them, they fall into this natural ease with each other. Elena may not touch Damon often of her own volition, but she's very comfortable being touched by Damon (GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER, PEOPLE ok fine don't). And it's not that Stefan and Elena have never had that. Back when they were a real couple, they were perfectly easy with each other physically. But this is not the case anymore. Everything about their contact in the past few episodes has been forced, and this scene is no exception. There is not a natural pull between Elena and Stefan. It is something they can achieve as a loving, functional couple, but there is no coda to fall into. So Stefan kisses Elena, after a season of all this trauma and abuse and emotional distance, and yes, we haven't really dealt with that (more on that later, just.), but it still happened, and Elena can't be with him like she was. Something is missing here. Without the certainty and ease that comes with a committed relationship, Elena can't be entirely comfortable with Stefan touching her like this. So she holds herself apart, unconsciously but noticeably, because this doesn't really feel right anymore.

So back to 3x10 (are you bored of this ridiculously detailed analysis yet? WELL I'M NOT). When Damon pulls away, Elena is still very caught up in what just happened. I know you've all seen the gifs, people. Parted lips, glazed eyes, held breath, the works. And she looks up at him in sort of confused dazed wonder, and it's glorious. She gets swept away in the kiss, not enough to silence all her doubts and just succumb to it, but enough to leave her a little breathless. Now take this kiss. The second Stefan pulls away, she looks down. There's no slow eye-opening to gaze up at him (like in 3x10 - seriously, I sound like a crazy shipper, but go watch both scenes again, IT HAPPENED, I TELL YOU). She eventually does look up at him, but there is no awe, no breathlessness. She doesn't seem caught up in it - she looks thoughtful, like she's analyzing everything that just happened. That is not the face of someone helpless to passion. And isn't that the point of S/E in this episode (TONS more on that later, but still). Elena is thinking her way through this. She's actively measuring how she feels and reacts and thinks about these boys. Her relationship with Stefan is not instinctual. It's logical and organized and rational. That's not to say it isn't real. I don't doubt for a second that Elena really does love Stefan. But it's a love that can be controlled. Her feelings for Stefan are manageable. Everything about this kiss proved that. She's open to it, willing to be kissed by Stefan. But not for a second is she lost to it in this scene.

And most tellingly of all, after Stefan leaves, Elena looks guilty. Because she knows. She remembers what it felt like to kiss Damon, she recalls the wild passion and the reckless abandon that overcame her in 3x19, she remembers the pure exhilaration of it all. And here Stefan kisses her, and she doesn't feel that. And I think she hates herself, because she feels wrong for feeling like this. She hates that at least her physical reaction to Damon is so much more powerful than it is for Stefan. Elena is not driven by lust. Her visceral reaction to Damon is not nearly enough to sway the scales in his favor. But it's an inconvenience. There is a marked difference to the way she reacts to Damon vs. the way she reacts to Stefan, and it feels like a betrayal.

OK that got long. All this to say that I really believe the show intentionally portrayed Stefan/Elena as lacking the physical and sexual chemistry that Damon/Elena so abounds in. I think a lot of people are frustrated that the show seems to intend to create such a sharp dichotomy between the two relationships, but alas, there it is. The show might be S/E for the rest of its run. But D/E gets this. TVD exhibits a strange kind of rationalization like that.

Back to the storage space, Damon is lounging on some strange couch and being his usual ridiculous amusing self. Then we get an overt comparison of the respective philosophies of the brothers (Damon actually says "thus the eternal difference between you and me, brother"). It's a bit obvious, especially knowing what's coming, but it's all valid. Stefan refuses to go against Elena because he can't tolerate the notion of her hating him. Damon doesn't care about that. He's used to being hated (more often than not, he actually courts it). This is just another incarnation of that 2x18 conversation between the brothers. And it's going to be repeated again and again next season. These boys have fundamentally conflicting methods of dealing with Elena's agency. Neither of them are categorically right. There are all sorts of problems with BOTH their ways of handling it. But their positions are not going to change (Damon's certainly isn't, ESPECIALLY given what happens in this episode). So we're going to see all sorts of Salvatore drama, because their conflict finally caught up with them in a fairly drastic way, and it's going to tear them up (but hopefully not apart, PLEASE GOD not apart).

Meanwhile, since no scene involving Damon is ever entirely devoid of lolz, what would you have done, Damon? "Grabbed her, gagged her, thrown her in a well." A WELL? WHAT? Omg this boy is golden. And I keep thinking of Lassie now. Elena's trapped in a well! DYING.

Anyway, Damon thinks he hears Rebekah, and gives away his position immediately, because apparently Damon is not smart in this episode. Alas. I still ship Damon/Rebekah (a ship that this episode has seriously fucked with, but still. STILL.).

Alaric sneaks up on Damon, and bless my boy for snarking even as he's being strangled. Lack of oxygen isn't enough to keep him from a good one-liner. Alaric is unamused, so he snaps his neck and starts the long process of checking each and every storage locker. Sounds like a good time.

Matt gives Elena some suspicious-tasting tea, and I have to wonder, where did Matt get roofies? Anyway, Elena apparently can't tell the difference between an excess of honey and drugs, but whatever. This seems like a bad moment to give Elena a lecture on being vigilant about her own drinks.

LOL @ Matt being such a shipper facilitator. "So, Stefan." Also, judging you. Pretty hilarious, really.

This Matt/Elena scene is yet another example of a scene that feels a bit like exposition. The show has decreed that a Choice must be made, so they give us this scene to help us toward that end. Part of me resents this scene for being such a clear puzzle piece in the greater picture. But when I get over that, the scene itself is full of information to be overanalyzed, so. Let's get to it.

The show keeps doing this thing with S/E that I find to be very curious. They present a fairly unflattering argument about the ship, then deny it in canon, but don't really do a particularly good job of it. It's happened a few times, but this is a good example: Elena tells Matt that Stefan saved her life, and he asks her if she feels like she owes Stefan. And she SAYS she doesn't feel like that, but then her subsequent explanation doesn't seem that convincing. I'm not saying she does feel like that (even if I personally do think she does), but I can't quite tell if the show is trying to pull that classic lawyer move of appropriating the counterargument, or if it's somehow trying to indicate that it recognizes the inherent flaws in S/E. Has anyone else noticed and/or thought about this?

Elena's description of her feelings for Stefan is typically vague and unclear. But ok, fine, let's go with it. Basically, somehow or another, Elena credits Stefan with her being able to deal with and move on from her parents' death. I wish we'd seen a bit more of this in the actual show, but to be fair, my season 1 knowledge is hazy at best, so maybe they did more of this that I just don't recall.

Then we get to one of those lines that both sides of this OT3 will probably claim in one way or another, but which really just seems blatantly D/E, if I'm honest: "That's what love should be. You should love the person that makes you glad that you're alive." Ok, I don't know if it's just me, but it seems to be that the second "should" is applied to a ship, that ship is being depicted as the lesser ship. That sounds harsh, but in a culture and a show that celebrates passion, anything that rings of obligation is considered anti-romantic. And this is the really strange thing about S/E, especially in this episode. The show is relentlessly portraying it as the less intense, more ordered ship, and yet it is also still peddling it as an Epic Love story? My overall thoughts about the presentation of S/E vs. D/E in this episode is for Recap Part II, but this is just something I found to be very striking. If they intend for us to believe Elena loves Stefan more than she loves Damon (and I'm not saying they do intend that, but it couldn't hurt to reserve the possibility), then how could they be referring to Stefan as the person you should love - not necessarily the person you actually do love?

Meanwhile, Matt hears this and thinks it all sounds pretty good, so he asks what the problem is, and Elena declares that "the problem is Damon." I find this to be frustrating but also very in character. Because this is Elena attributing an external cause to her internal problems with Stefan. Some people might find this admission romantic, but I think it's deflecting. Elena and Stefan are messed up. Their romance was always flawed, but they glazed over their problems for a whole host of reasons. Elena has never been able to admit to herself that she and Stefan have issues as a couple. This failed Ripper arc has proven that - throughout it all, Elena never actually dealt with what Stefan is and what he can be. She Other-ed him the entire time, and then proceeded to completely ignore his multiple acts of outright abuse. The utter fail of the Ripper arc will be discussed in Recap Part II, but the relevance here is that Elena cannot handle the idea that she and Stefan are crumbling. Any issue they have can be explained away, be it Klaus, or what human blood does to Stefan, or now Damon. It's not that Elena doesn't love Stefan enough anymore - it can't be. She can't let it be. So it's Damon's fault that she's unsure about Stefan. That's the only way she can handle this. I know a lot of people are frustrated that the show seems to be claiming that Elena having feelings for Damon is the sole impediment to a Stefan/Elena reunion, and yes, it is frustrating. But I think it's very in character for Elena to believe that, at least.

So Elena confesses that when she's with Damon, he "consumes" her. Here's the thing. I love the 'consuming' business in this episode. Absolutely love it. But I'm fairly sure I don't love it the way everyone else does. Fandom seems divided on this point: some people think it's grand and romantic, and others think it's totally silly. I think it's fantastic, because it's NOT romantic. I know, the aforementioned lauding of passion and all that, but still, I can't help but think that 'consuming' isn't necessarily a good thing. It can be destructive, and dangerous, and altogether too overwhelming. I'm not saying that I believe D/E is destructive, but I think Elena might worry it is. A love that consumes you is something that can't be controlled, and if there's anything we know about Elena, it's that she doesn't like not being in control. So this description of her feelings for Damon did not seem like a positive thing to me. This level of passion scares Elena, and it's more than she wants to deal with. And all this gets carried through when the theme is picked up again in the flashback, which I will discuss in GREAT detail later. But basically, I love this description, because it is typically D/E - intense, reluctant, anti-romantic.

And the close it out, Elena admits that she's terrified to make a choice, because when she chooses one, she loses the other, and she can't handle the idea of losing anyone else. This is one of the keys to her final choice, obviously. Elena doesn't want to lose anyone else. It's the only thing she's absolutely sure of in this situation. So naturally, she will do whatever she can to avoid this outcome. And some choices involve more loss than others...more on that later, naturally.

LOL FOREVER @ Matt just sitting there, looking miserable. He's basically thinking, "Well, this sucks hardcore for me." I just kept thinking of sun_sign's totally brilliant picture recap of 3x16 and the Matt/Elena scene, which reads "I'm in love with two people none of them are you." Oh, Matt. Also, LOL.

Flashback time! Elena's ditched family night, and I must admit, this scenario is actually rather different than how I imagined it initially. I always thought Elena sort of snuck off and/or insisted upon going off and partying, but here it seems like she just sort of asked her parents if she could go to the bonfire instead and they happily said yes. Which, yay to functional family life, but also, it severely lessens the degree of guilt I thought Elena felt for her parents' death. Not that she feels any less guilty, but something about the situation was so understanding and comfortable that it altered my head!canon. Whatever.

And here's where I yet again become confused as to what the show is doing. Because it still seems to be trying to set up parallels between Matt and Damon, and it just DOES NOT WORK. Because it's the opposite situation. Elena says she doesn't know how she feels, which is something we've been hearing from her a lot lately, and Miranda insists that she does, and that she's just afraid to say it. Elena doesn't want to lose Matt, but Miranda promises that she won't lose him, she'll be "setting him free." But here's the thing. We know by now that Elena doesn't choose Damon, that she sets him free, like she did Matt. But the situation...just doesn't match. Because the idea that she knows how she feels, but she's just afraid to say it? That does not apply to her current situation with Damon. If Elena knew that she didn't love Damon, that she only wanted Stefan? She would admit it in a heartbeat. That's exactly how she wants to feel. Why would she be afraid to say that she didn't have feelings for the serial killer brother of her boyfriend? It doesn't make sense. The only thing that Elena would be scared to admit is that she does love Damon. That's what's been holding her back - these inconvenient, persistant feelings she has for her Epic Love's brother. She wants to want Stefan. Stefan is who Elena should love. So if she really didn't love Damon, she would not hesitate to admit it. To that end, the Matt/Damon parallels are illogical and jarring.

Elena comes to and realizes she's been roofied. Matt's got her in his pickup truck of hasty escapes, and it's all very sweet and human and foolish. We knew from the promos that something was going to go wrong here, but even if we didn't, I would not have been surprised. Bad things happen to people in cars on television. Bad things also happen to people with well-intentioned secret plans. What concerns me most is how Jeremy's going to feel, knowing he inadvertently, indirectly caused his sister's death. #forever concerned about the Littlest Gilbert

Back at the Storage Space for Ill-Fated Plans and Casual Murder, Alterlaric is shopping. Rebekah arrives and immediately gives away her position by shouting, because apparently she also left her caution and wits in 3x21. But Damon grabs her before Alterlaric finds her, and I'm not even going to pretend, I had shippy feelings. Of course I did. I am a D/E shipper til the end, but LOOK AT THEM. I love them.

However, everything about their plan fails. They wheel Klaus out slowly, for no particular reason, and naturally, they get caught. And then thoroughly beaten up. Also, where was Bonnie in all this? Did they not think it was a good idea to have a witch around to ensure that this rather important transfer went smoothly? WHAT WERE THEY ALL DOING IN THIS EPISODE? This was new levels of planning fail, even for Team Mystic Falls.

Not gonna lie, I was a bit surprised when Alterlaric actually staked Klaus. They went there. Nifty.

Rebekah's reaction to Klaus being staked was heartbreaking. RebeKlaus for all the wins, forever and ever. (Also, I loved Damon holding her back and then telling her to run. SHIPPING IT. Don't stop me now.)

I am a bit distressed at the idea of Joseph Morgan's body being off the show, but apparently that might not be the case? I can't believe they'd give him up. He is too fantastic. Fingers crossed, people.

Ok, props to Alterlaric for being genuinely badass sometimes. When he closes the coffin, points to Rebekah, and just says "Next." - AWESOME. Well done, sir.

Damon sends Rebekah away, tries to make a stand as the hero, and immediately gets tossed aside. Oh, Damon.

So the main character of the episode appears: Damon's cell phone. Well, that honor was really shared between all of the cell phones in this ep, but still. Damon's is listed first, in order of appearance.

Let's just be honest, I loved the image of Damon sitting on the floor in this dark, empty warehouse, alone. He's in the middle of it all, the first and last line of defense, the bearer of bad news, and at the end of it all, he's on his own. No matter who he's working with - or for - he'll always end up alone.

He calls Stefan, and both their faces are the best - trying to hold it together, but realizing just how bad this really is. The helplessness is crushing and overwhelming and really fantastic, and I just loved the idea of them waiting around to see if their long lives were about to end, and knowing there was absolutely nothing they could do one way or the other.

Ok, but I have complaints. And questions. What is Stefan doing, suddenly shipping Damon/Elena? This doesn't really make sense to me. Stefan only ships D/E insofar as he can manipulate Elena. He has never supported that relationship with Damon beyond it being yet another case of his brother's unrequited love. So what is his angle here? I can't help but think that Stefan knows Elena will choose him. EVERYBODY knows that Elena is going to choose Stefan (even Damon knows). So is this Stefan gloating? Or is he really just serving as a chess piece in the finale shipper game? I can't really make sense of it.

And my issue is this: I'm all for D/E, obviously, but this scene should have been about the Brothership. These boys are everything to each other. I simply cannot believe that their impending deaths would be all about who gets to say goodbye to Elena, certainly not in this situation. Couldn't we just have had one moment of the Salvatores just being the Salvatores, no love triangle, just brothers who have loved each other for a century and a half? This season started with the understanding that everything they do is for the other. I wish that hadn't been lost by the end.

Damon hangs up as glibly as he can, and Jeremy admits his Team Human plan. Meanwhile, Elijah and Caroline stand by in dawning realization, and it's pretty cool. I just dig the waiting game. There are 20 minutes left in this episode. I like the suspension of it all, the building dread. Basically, lets everyone be miserable, yes? Yes.

Cut to Matt's Truck of Doomed Escape Plans, and Elena demands that they go back to be with their potentially dying loved ones. Maybe it's all the distance and emotional equilibrium I've acquired in the many days since I watched this episode the first time, but I just keep flashing to Jack from Lost. "We have to go baaaaaaaaaack." Favorite quote, for lolz reasons.

Ugh, but fuck you, Matt, for being SO obvious about this love triangle business. I know, it's not your fault, it's the show, but seriously? He can keep driving to Damon, or he can go back home to Stefan. But. WHAT ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE? The actual choice will be discussed later, but I did not appreciate the clear OT3 contrived-ness of it all. And "it's your Choice." Oh, is there a choice happening in this episode? Elena has to make a choice? There's a choice between these two brothers? What's that you say about a choice? STOP IT SHOW. Grr.

Ok, completely irrational OTP glasses vision talking: can I pretend it's significant that Matt says he can "turn around and go back to Stefan?" Like, Elena would go back to Stefan? As in, get back with Stefan? I'm sticking to it.

Oh, god, guys, look where we are. The phonecall scene. I CAN'T. I just. Ohhhhhhh no. I am not ready for this. Alas. Here we go.

Not gonna lie, the considerable amount of time I've given myself to calm down from this episode has made this scene much more bearable to watch. But I remember how it felt to watch it for the first time. This was another one of those scenes that had an INTENSE physical effect on me. From the second Damon picked up the phone, my body coiled up, in anticipation for SOMETHING, though I didn't know what. And before long, my heart was pounding. But actually. Like, racing, painful heartbeats. And by the end, I felt a little sick. Because, good god, I am SO attached to this ship. I don't even realize how much. Sometimes I think I'm over it, that I've finally gained perspective that this is just a TV show and has no real bearing on my life, but then scenes like this happen, and it just breaks me. I had to pause after this scene to calm the fuck down, because my mind was pretty much a chorus of "No no no no this can't be how it ends, it just can't be." I was in a state. Something about this scene just struck me to my core. It is one of the more excruciatingly painful scenes I've ever had to endure. It was also absolutely perfect. Fuck this show, basically. I hate everything you do, and I wouldn't change a thing.

I honestly don't quite know how to go about recapping this scene. There are too many thoughts swirling around in my head, and far too many fucking feelings to complicate everything. I suppose we could just go chronologically? Because any ordering by theme is bound to be jumbled and confused and disastrous.

Damon answers the phone, and I take a huge breath to prepare myself. He immediately makes light of this rather dire situation, because that's what he does. The beginning of this conversation is very them: Elena is all business, and Damon is all joking and deflect-y. Then it gets...more intense. Damon asks where she is, and Elena admits, with a significant, awful pause, that she's going home. And this is something I adore beyond reason about Damon and Elena. Their understanding. Because they don't need to say even half of what they end up saying in this scene. They already know. Elena says Matt's taking her home, and Damon immediately knows what it means. Elena knows he'll understand. He makes it explicit anyway by clarifying "To Stefan," but he doesn't have to. These two are all about non-verbal communication, and even over the phone they can still speak volumes in just a few words.

Meanwhile, Elena does at least a bit of what I wish everyone else would do and recognizes that home is not just about Stefan - it's about Tyler and Caroline and everyone else. I'll discuss the actual choice later, but I think it's hugely important that Damon was on his own outside of town while everyone else was back in Mystic Falls. Asking Elena to give up everyone for Damon is an overwhelming demand. This choice was not about which brother Elena wanted to be with, even if that's how it ended up happening. It was about going where she could be with as many of her people as possible, where she could do the most good. She wouldn't just be leaving Stefan if she had gone to Damon. She would have been abandoning her lifelong friends, and that is something Elena could never do, no matter how much she loves Damon (even if she actually could admit she loves Damon). It's just too much to ask.

Ok, now for some unadulterated Damon appreciation. Damon Salvatore was flawless in this scene. All arguments are invalid. My favorite favorite favorite part? The way Damon understands exactly what's happening, and that he's expected it. The second Elena tells him she's going home, he gets it. This is how it was always going to go. His expression says it all. There's devastation, to be sure, but there's no surprise. This is the way this story goes. Stefan and Elena live happily ever after. She chooses Stefan. He never expected anything else. Allowed himself a faint, flickering bit of hope? Shamefully, certainly so. But never once did he really believe he could get what he wanted. Who would he even be if he did?

I love how he responds when she tries to rationalize it. She mentions Tyler and Caroline, and he just brushes it off, going, "No, I know, I get it." And he does. He's not going to make this any harder for her. He understands, and he's not going to pretend like he doesn't. He doesn't need her placations or her sympathies. He doesn't want them. He can take this. It might be ripping him apart, but he can handle it. He just needs to be sure.

And this is why it's my absolute favorite. Damon knows. He asks if he can ask her a question, but he knows the answer. You can tell by the way he says it, like he's reluctant to even demand it, because he knows. There was never a real question. Elena was never going to choose him. But he has to hear her say it.

And it hurts. It just hurts, in this deep, relentless way. This boy is never chosen. He knows that, and he's never been foolish enough to let himself believe he ever could be. But this time? Maybe he should be. Elena loves him. After everything Stefan's done, after all Damon and Elena have been through together, this is the closest he's ever been to actually deserving someone. He has done literally everything he could to be there for her, to be what she needs. And it's not enough. The subject of Elena's actual feelings for Damon is hugely complicated and to be discussed later, but to Damon, it doesn't matter how she really feels. She's not choosing him. That's all there is to it. And it's not a surprise. But knowing it, knowing for sure that a frenzied makeout on a hotel balcony is all he ever gets, well, it's hard. It's hard to hear it, understand what it means for the future, and yet still know that it doesn't make a difference. He will still love her. He will still be there whenever she needs him. Nothing has changed. And yet he knows for sure that that stupid sliver of hope he allowed himself to hold on to is as foolish as he knew it was, and realizing that he set himself up for this despite everything is crushing.

Damon's face is actual perfection after Elena says she loves Stefan. He closes his eyes for just a second, because it hurts so fucking much, but of course this is how it was going to end. He knows. I'm repeating that over and over again, but I am just in love with it.

Elena starts talking about how she feels for Stefan, but the thing that strikes me here (now that I'm no longer frozen in agony like I was the first time I watched this damn scene) is that she doesn't actually answer his question. I know it's implied, but still. All Elena does is talk about why she loves Stefan. She never really says who she would pick, all things being equal. And she never really admits how she feels about Damon.

"No matter what I feel for you, I never unfell for him." I don't doubt that this is true, and I never have. But it stops short of the truth. She never says what it is that she does feel for Damon. She never mentions if it outweighs what she feels for Stefan, if it is altogether more intense and inherent and necessary to her. It doesn't change her choice. But Elena is logic above feeling. Everything she says to Damon, hell, to everyone, in this episode, is a partial truth. She's telling the truth. But she isn't admitting all of the truth. She loves Damon. She can't say it, can't admit it to herself, much less to him, certainly not at this moment, when she needs to let go of someone and he's the only one she can (for reasons later discussed). But it's there, and it will always be there, whether or not she chooses it. She can make as many Choices as she likes, but it's not going to change how she feels. And isn't that the essence of D/E?

And god, Damon. "Hey, I get it. It's Stefan. It's always gonna be Stefan." This was heartwrenching, and absolutely Damon. I'm not sure that there's ever been a line that's burrowed deeper into Damon's soul than this one. It is an unavoidable truth in his world, an asterisk next to his name that's been there long before he became a vampire, before he met Katherine, before everything. It's always going to be Stefan. It is part of who Damon is. He's second best, the backup, the place-filler. There isn't anything he can do about it. And it's something he resents and loathes and rages against with all his being, but worst of all, he understands. Because he loves Stefan too.

I adore the delivery of that line. Because it's just a fact of his life. He says it wryly, ruefully, because how could he be so foolish as to even pretend for an instant that it could ever be him? It's genuinely heartbreaking, to have all his greatest fears confirmed by the girl he loves. And he accepts it, because that's just how it is. He's not going to fight. What's the point? This is the way the world works. It will always be Stefan, and he will always be here, just in case they need him.

"I can't think about always. I can only think about right now." This is sort of the crux of The Choice. And it's also what will be its undoing. Because Stefan and Elena were never supposed to be always. Elena didn't want an always with him. She didn't want to be a vampire. All they wanted to be was a normal high school couple getting through one day at a time. This isn't a choice about forever. This is not Elena saying she will live out the rest of her life with Stefan. But right at this moment? She has to go home. It's just too late for any other choice. Her friends and family are home. And she owes Stefan. I know she says she doesn't, but of course she thinks she does. She promised Stefan again and again that they were in this together, entreated him to feel for her, devoted herself to saving him. She has poured herself into building a Stefan and Elena. There shouldn't be a Damon and Elena. She didn't want it, and it happened against her will, but she can't let it derail her. She can't let it undo everything. And it's just too late. I know a lot of people are upset that Elena literally left Damon to die on his own, and yes, this was absolutely devastating. But what was the point of her going to him? She could have given him a few good minutes, yes. But they never got their chance. They never had the time to be anything. Why open themselves up to the bittersweet of it all, the wasted opportunity, the what if? The key to all this is that Elena knows Damon can take it. She knows he can survive this - not being chosen. Elena trusts Damon in a way she doesn't trust Stefan - she trusts him to be ok without her. So this is her only option. She will go to Stefan, because he needs her, and Damon doesn't. He does, of course, but not in the same way. This is something gloriously wonderful about D/E. Elena has never felt responsible for Damon. Damon doesn't let Elena be his saviour. They are two individual people who need each other, but don't need each other to survive. It's a testament to their strength as people.

And as for right now, Elena needs to go to Stefan. Because, yes, she's leaving Damon alone, possibly in his last hour. But even if he dies, she still has to live with herself. And choosing Damon? It's too much. It will undo too much of what she wants, and right now needs, to believe about herself. The idea of loving Damon has always, always been about who Elena is, and who she wants to be. Letting herself love Damon is more than just loving Damon - it's about accepting whole new areas of her character, recognizing fundamental aspects of her personality that she's never allowed herself to admit to before. It's terrifying, the mere idea of it. Loving Damon will remake who she is. And if he's about to die? How could she start herself on that path, tear her conception of herself down, only to find herself alone? It's just too much. If she chooses Stefan and he dies, she can live with herself. Nothing will change. She will carry on as before, knowing she did everything she could for that relationship, sure that she is honorable and loyal and faithful. If she chooses Damon, and he dies? How could she live with herself, knowing she let down Stefan by not choosing him, she let down Damon for not being with him sooner, and she let herself down for allowing her confusion about her feelings ruin everything?

Basically, everything about this scene hurt. It was agonizing to watch Elena remove any last shred of hope from Damon in what might have been his dying hour. But think about what this choice would mean for her. She's 18. She's terrified and confused and lost and everything is too much. How could we expect her to do anything but what she did?

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART II. Because I have no filter. Can't say I didn't warn you.