yeah
jon and i was talking about some english paper of his, and he's like "wut is love?"
and so i told him, "well jon, love is mud because" uh...damn it i forgot. TIME OUT, i need to go find out what i said. okay. i jus looked at my deadaim log manager now i remember. "because it's confusing, unclear, sticky, and all that shats" all i'm tryin to say is that love is one sticky piece of mother. no joke. like u step in it once, it takes a while to take your foot out, and even when you do you still have mud clinging onto your leg. now imagine if you were like completely under mud, then it'd be like impossible to get out easily and when you do you're stained all over. yeah. damn, i think this was deep.
aite and the whole point of this english paper is becuz some dumbass teacher who has never been in a serious relationship before gets in one and has no idea what to do. so she goes and asks her FRESHMEN english 9 students to write about love and give her "tips." here's my tip, if you want to keep him, fuck him. no joke. that's if the guy is an average normal guy.
if he's a guy like me, you have to not talk about stupid things a lot, and not pull an emotional waterfall over me everytime we talk. and definitely don't pour out your soul into me in the first three meetings cuz then, you're just hella boring and i'm moving on. don't scrub off of me everytime we go out because then i'll become poor and i won't want to take you out, but you have to let me buy you stuff when i want to otherwise i'm jus gonna get pissed off and leave. oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i know let's make one of those ideal girl lists.
~~~**~~Danny's Ideal Girlfriend~~**~~~
~~is not a midget~~
~~is funny~~
~~is fun~~
~~is not retarded / emotional~~
~~lets me call them retarded~~
~~lets me call them retarded but knows i think she's smart~~
~~can cook~~
~~decides never to drive in her life~~
~~doesn't matter about breasts or ass wutever as long as they don't cave-in~~
~~can breakdance~~
~~likes to gunbound~~
~~feeds me~~
~~wears a ponytail and a hat~~
~~with the pony tail coming out the back of the hat~~
~~likes ice cream~~
~~doesn't complain about life, weight, and looks 24/7~~
~~is not smarter than me~~
~~is loyal~~
~~likes to watch movies and eat cheetos~~
~~can dunk a basketball on a 10ft hoop~~
~~is not a muscle builder~~
~~flexible~~
~~doesn't think chipotle's are penises while i'm trying to eat one~~
~~doesn't try to open their eyes real big in every photo~~
~~racist~~
~~nice smile~~
~~hair needs to be aite, nothing like super nappy afro hair~~
~~smells nice~~
~~can get out a lot~~
~~can lick their elbow~~
~~can touch their elbows behind her back~~
~~loves soccer~~
~~is at least a foot taller than me~~
~~loves looney toons~~
~~loves friends (da show)~~
~~~**~~that's all for now f-f-f-folks!!~~**~~~
yeah, see, i wasn't too serious because i had all those *'s and ~'s all over the place.
and if my gf was a foot taller than me, i'd faint. no joke.
real list
Danny's Ideal Girlfriend
-a girl, not a guy
i'm muddy, yeah.
and so i told him, "well jon, love is mud because" uh...damn it i forgot. TIME OUT, i need to go find out what i said. okay. i jus looked at my deadaim log manager now i remember. "because it's confusing, unclear, sticky, and all that shats" all i'm tryin to say is that love is one sticky piece of mother. no joke. like u step in it once, it takes a while to take your foot out, and even when you do you still have mud clinging onto your leg. now imagine if you were like completely under mud, then it'd be like impossible to get out easily and when you do you're stained all over. yeah. damn, i think this was deep.
aite and the whole point of this english paper is becuz some dumbass teacher who has never been in a serious relationship before gets in one and has no idea what to do. so she goes and asks her FRESHMEN english 9 students to write about love and give her "tips." here's my tip, if you want to keep him, fuck him. no joke. that's if the guy is an average normal guy.
if he's a guy like me, you have to not talk about stupid things a lot, and not pull an emotional waterfall over me everytime we talk. and definitely don't pour out your soul into me in the first three meetings cuz then, you're just hella boring and i'm moving on. don't scrub off of me everytime we go out because then i'll become poor and i won't want to take you out, but you have to let me buy you stuff when i want to otherwise i'm jus gonna get pissed off and leave. oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i know let's make one of those ideal girl lists.
~~~**~~Danny's Ideal Girlfriend~~**~~~
~~is not a midget~~
~~is funny~~
~~is fun~~
~~is not retarded / emotional~~
~~lets me call them retarded~~
~~lets me call them retarded but knows i think she's smart~~
~~can cook~~
~~decides never to drive in her life~~
~~doesn't matter about breasts or ass wutever as long as they don't cave-in~~
~~can breakdance~~
~~likes to gunbound~~
~~feeds me~~
~~wears a ponytail and a hat~~
~~with the pony tail coming out the back of the hat~~
~~likes ice cream~~
~~doesn't complain about life, weight, and looks 24/7~~
~~is not smarter than me~~
~~is loyal~~
~~likes to watch movies and eat cheetos~~
~~can dunk a basketball on a 10ft hoop~~
~~is not a muscle builder~~
~~flexible~~
~~doesn't think chipotle's are penises while i'm trying to eat one~~
~~doesn't try to open their eyes real big in every photo~~
~~racist~~
~~nice smile~~
~~hair needs to be aite, nothing like super nappy afro hair~~
~~smells nice~~
~~can get out a lot~~
~~can lick their elbow~~
~~can touch their elbows behind her back~~
~~loves soccer~~
~~is at least a foot taller than me~~
~~loves looney toons~~
~~loves friends (da show)~~
~~~**~~that's all for now f-f-f-folks!!~~**~~~
yeah, see, i wasn't too serious because i had all those *'s and ~'s all over the place.
and if my gf was a foot taller than me, i'd faint. no joke.
real list
Danny's Ideal Girlfriend
-a girl, not a guy
i'm muddy, yeah.