on a few gay notes
While at the Pride parade on Sunday something dawned on me: there are a lot of religious floats/groups involved. When you go to holiday parades (Thanksgiving, Halloween, Fourth of July) you might see a couple church groups throwing together a float for fun but not nearly as many as you see in a Gay Pride parade. I mean, support in any form for gay rights is great, but why so many churches? They clearly outnumbered the bars/restaurants/colleges that cater to gays. But why?
Is it that the religious community wants to show that not all religious people are bastards? Not all religion is as far right or conservative as those you hear about donating money to anti-gay causes (you know, the ones that make the headlines)? I don’t think either is the case.
So many gay rights advocates and gay people themselves argue with these religious zealots who make moral cases against same-sex marriage and the like on their terms. God didn’t condemn Ruth and Naomi, Jesus never said anything condemning homosexuals, and Old Testament law condemning gay sex is included with laws about material blends, socializing with unclean women, and what foods you can/can’t eat. I used to be one of them. I used to make a Biblical case for homosexuality all the time. I’ve probably even written LJ entries about it years ago.
I feel that in addition to feeling persecuted by these zealots (because, hello, they are driving the vote in a lot of these elections re: marriage referendums), a lot of this argument provided by homosexuals themselves is that they feel they need these peoples acceptance. For some reason gay people feel the need to be told they’re not going to hell and they’re not sinners and that churches will accept them by people who don’t like them. For gay people who are religious, obviously you’re going to want to attend a church that doesn’t condemn you, but for the others, why fight so hard? If you’re not a religious person, why would this bother you? Why do you need to have churches on your side? Why does it matter? You don’t believe it anyway.
I’m not saying I think it’s bad that churches want to be involved in gay rights, the contrary. I am just surprised that the acceptance and opinion of people who don’t like us is so important to the community. If their acceptance is so important to us, then why are we so afraid to say so? I think a part of the gay community feels like it needs that validation in order to rid themselves of their internalized homophobia. There are still so many gay people who are not okay with themselves being gay. A Reverend saying that God loves everyone no matter how queer probably means a lot to the person who hasn’t fully accepted it in himself yet. It’s almost as if some gay people honestly and truly don’t believe they deserve it.
I’m not attempting to make some anti-religious point nor am I attempting to push a gay agenda by saying all this. I just think it’d be nice for people to be honest with themselves. Don’t say the acceptance of church and religion isn’t important to you if it clearly is. As for me, having the acceptance of anyone is always a wonderful thing, but I’m not seeking your approval. I don’t need someone else to tell me I’m worthwhile to know it. I don’t have a moral dilemma with who I am and don’t need someone else to tell me that ‘you’re gay and that’s okay.’ If you don’t like me, quite frankly, I probably don’t like you either. No harm done. Don’t throw me a ‘but I have gay friends’ or ‘but I support Civil Unions’ argument as if that’s going to make me like you more. It’s insulting. Maybe this was really my issue with so many churches in the parade. It felt as if they felt I needed to hear they accepted me.
What did I like about Pride though? It’s become more and more evident that there is no one gay identity. There was a place and time where a unified gay front was necessary, but I think it says something about the progression of our culture as a whole when the reason we’re losing gay bars and clubs is because the patrons are attending mixed places instead. A homogenous culture truly shows acceptance. Straight people aren’t the enemy and we don’t need to be separated from them. If we’re going to achieve equal rights any time soon, these are the people who are going to help get us there. And I love the fact that the people at the parade identified more as club kids or hipsters or comic book nerds than as gay. And now I feel as if I’m contradicting myself. Maybe I should have more respect for gays who identify more as Christian than as gay.
Is it that the religious community wants to show that not all religious people are bastards? Not all religion is as far right or conservative as those you hear about donating money to anti-gay causes (you know, the ones that make the headlines)? I don’t think either is the case.
So many gay rights advocates and gay people themselves argue with these religious zealots who make moral cases against same-sex marriage and the like on their terms. God didn’t condemn Ruth and Naomi, Jesus never said anything condemning homosexuals, and Old Testament law condemning gay sex is included with laws about material blends, socializing with unclean women, and what foods you can/can’t eat. I used to be one of them. I used to make a Biblical case for homosexuality all the time. I’ve probably even written LJ entries about it years ago.
I feel that in addition to feeling persecuted by these zealots (because, hello, they are driving the vote in a lot of these elections re: marriage referendums), a lot of this argument provided by homosexuals themselves is that they feel they need these peoples acceptance. For some reason gay people feel the need to be told they’re not going to hell and they’re not sinners and that churches will accept them by people who don’t like them. For gay people who are religious, obviously you’re going to want to attend a church that doesn’t condemn you, but for the others, why fight so hard? If you’re not a religious person, why would this bother you? Why do you need to have churches on your side? Why does it matter? You don’t believe it anyway.
I’m not saying I think it’s bad that churches want to be involved in gay rights, the contrary. I am just surprised that the acceptance and opinion of people who don’t like us is so important to the community. If their acceptance is so important to us, then why are we so afraid to say so? I think a part of the gay community feels like it needs that validation in order to rid themselves of their internalized homophobia. There are still so many gay people who are not okay with themselves being gay. A Reverend saying that God loves everyone no matter how queer probably means a lot to the person who hasn’t fully accepted it in himself yet. It’s almost as if some gay people honestly and truly don’t believe they deserve it.
I’m not attempting to make some anti-religious point nor am I attempting to push a gay agenda by saying all this. I just think it’d be nice for people to be honest with themselves. Don’t say the acceptance of church and religion isn’t important to you if it clearly is. As for me, having the acceptance of anyone is always a wonderful thing, but I’m not seeking your approval. I don’t need someone else to tell me I’m worthwhile to know it. I don’t have a moral dilemma with who I am and don’t need someone else to tell me that ‘you’re gay and that’s okay.’ If you don’t like me, quite frankly, I probably don’t like you either. No harm done. Don’t throw me a ‘but I have gay friends’ or ‘but I support Civil Unions’ argument as if that’s going to make me like you more. It’s insulting. Maybe this was really my issue with so many churches in the parade. It felt as if they felt I needed to hear they accepted me.
What did I like about Pride though? It’s become more and more evident that there is no one gay identity. There was a place and time where a unified gay front was necessary, but I think it says something about the progression of our culture as a whole when the reason we’re losing gay bars and clubs is because the patrons are attending mixed places instead. A homogenous culture truly shows acceptance. Straight people aren’t the enemy and we don’t need to be separated from them. If we’re going to achieve equal rights any time soon, these are the people who are going to help get us there. And I love the fact that the people at the parade identified more as club kids or hipsters or comic book nerds than as gay. And now I feel as if I’m contradicting myself. Maybe I should have more respect for gays who identify more as Christian than as gay.