My vow for tomorrow
I vow to commit starting tomorrow and continuing forever. I had this sinking feeling tonight that got jostled out of me driving Casey home. I am really afraid to commit in this show, and it's killing my performance. Not killing it, I guess, but certainly not doing it any favors. I've never had that ridiculous acting fear of looking stupid. But I get it every single day in rehearsal. So I'm over it. Done and done. Casey said two things to me in the car that pushed me into the land of fearlessness:
1. If you really commit, no one can touch you.
2. Committing onstage isn't something you practice, it's just something you do.
Both incredibly important things for me to hear tonight, because I didn't realize how upset I was getting about this until he made me talk about it a bit, and then I started to feel that little vulnerable I-just-might-cry feeling as I was talking. I felt a lot better after he made me say, "Fuck it, yes, I'll commit." Which made me feel a lot better, although I guess I'll have to wait for rehearsal tomorrow to really make good on that vow, but I'm gonna, no doubt. Not really much of an update, per se, but it's what's on my mind right now.
1. If you really commit, no one can touch you.
2. Committing onstage isn't something you practice, it's just something you do.
Both incredibly important things for me to hear tonight, because I didn't realize how upset I was getting about this until he made me talk about it a bit, and then I started to feel that little vulnerable I-just-might-cry feeling as I was talking. I felt a lot better after he made me say, "Fuck it, yes, I'll commit." Which made me feel a lot better, although I guess I'll have to wait for rehearsal tomorrow to really make good on that vow, but I'm gonna, no doubt. Not really much of an update, per se, but it's what's on my mind right now.