this is how i see my life
I think the things our parents do as we grow up help us understand what we do and dont want in life... this week i just sat down and took a look at my life ... My father is an alcoholic i do what i can to accept it and understand that, thats a part of life, as much as i wish he wouldnt drink as much it makes me realize that when im married i dont want alcohol a major part of my life .. once a while is fine but not something i want to be a daily thing. My mom sokes cigs.. and i hate it .. i hate smoking and once again it is something i dont want to be any part of my life, My parents seperated when i was very young and not in a very quite way lots of fighting and broken glass .. yelling hitting, and in front of us. this is something that will me planted in my mind for life.. i dont want this to happen to my kids, i want to have a loving family that stays together .. When i come home to my moms house it is so negative everyone is in bad moods all ways negitive things said.. its hard coming home on the weekends.. i think to myself if i hadn't moved away from college i dont know what i would do... i cant live here.. i can my sister gets away with everything ... she is never punished, parties at our house, laziness, spoild, attitude, taking back ... and what does she get, she is prasied for all the bas she does ... im the one in college im the one who got the good grade in highschool and my sister fails school and is going to mexico when she graduates ... i didnt get shit from my parents for graduation( my dad did buy me a lap top) ... iw as supose to get a trip to hawiia , never got it, and she who is getting a 2.9 is going to mexico for graduation.. wow .. do you have any idea how that makes me feel... or this i got a C, wich is still passing, in one of my classes in highschool ... and while my friends where at my house my mom yelled and yelled and slaped my for not getting a higher grade ... yet my sister gets an F in her calss and she gets .... nothing... i dont get it .. i really dont i hate it here .. i never want to come back .. i hate my sister .. she loves herself way to much ... she is a BITCH a Big one and i cant stand her im so happy she is not comming camping with us ... thank god.. camping would suck if she was there.,,... i dont know what to do i want to cry .. i want to go to my dads .. i feel at home there... its so wried but maybe its just because they listien and they make me feel wanted ... and allow me to vent and talk to me about things unlike here ... well im off to sac ... i need to take a drive to clear my head ...