ease back, he's back
holding my head.
haunted once again by the songs i used to write, but cannot remember how to play.
i find myself forgetting the notes themselves or the actual noises they formed, remembering instead something in my head that was only pretending to be sound before it was made.
like considering going on a vacation, and then coming back home eventually. the music used to think about visiting the instrument before returning to my ears.
and the shape of where my fingers went is scattered.
...BUT AT LEAST I CAN STILL WRITE.
-courtesy of restore saved draft
=================================
who knows? that was anywhere from a year and a half ago to...sometime last year. maybe. i think i ended up posting it to facebook instead as compliment bait. i miss being complimented. but then, i used to put myself out there, just a little bit, but compared to now, at all.
i'm 32 now.
stuck still in a black hole called home.
no job. no plan. no people. rote life. sans. every. thing.
but for all this, i just have to know someone again, or i swear i'm going to drift off across the universe.
oh and i have a puppy, but the puppy doesn't have anything. not even reproductive organs that work.
small, furry, retarded daughter.
okay.