(no subject)
!!!!!TO MY FAM AND FRIENDS!!!!!
Current mood: contemplative
Lately Ive got a chance to take a real look at my life and analize what people are in it. Ive been really mean to alot of people over the years and would like to apologize.
-First. Id like to apologize first to my kids father. For never being who you wanted me to be. For me always being that so-called piece of shit you make me out to be and mainly for never being anything to you, like you always remind me. I guess when I take a look at things from the past. They just dont seem to mesh with words spoken in the present. Maybe you need a wake up call. So.. here is one for you..
To the love of my life....
Daniella,
You are the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. Everything about you makes me feel gittie in side. When i look in to your eyes i can really see that love is great. You really have made the biggest change in my life, as well as the best change. All i want is for us to be happy. I want everyday to be just a lil better for you.
You are still the most gorgeous thing i ever laid eyes on. There is nothing else in this life that i could ever look at the way i look at you. You are really art in motion. Your beauty is unsurpassed by nothing but my love for you. Sometimes i just want to grab you up and just hold you.......and just keep holding on.
I love you with all my heart baby. You are my soul, my love, my life.....my wife.
I love you babe!!!!
much love,
Alan
Now, after you have read that, I hope it occurs to you how "horrible" I was. Maybe one day you can appreciate me putting 8yrs of my life on hold to watch the world revolve around you.
-Secondly. Id like to apologize to my mother. I know Im a fuck up. You love to remind me all the time. I know Im nothing like the rest of the family.. especially since they all graduated and have awesome jobs. HA! I apologize for all the hell I put you through. I apologize for you kicking my brothers out when they were fifteen and I apologize for you turning you back on me when I needed you the most, MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE. Yeah its nice that youre around now. Im sorry that you chose men over you children, because we didnt pay the bills. I apologize to god for you being a hypocrite. One day you will see all you have done to the people around you. I hope one day you see how much I defended you from the rest of the family. I hope one day you see how much shit Ive gone through because of you. I hope one day it bothers you that your children dislike you.
-Thirdly. Id like to apologize to my father. Im sorry that you were never around. Im sorry that I do not know you. Im sorry that I got to see all my friends with their dads while I sat on the sidelines like some bastard child. Im sorry that you are one reason why Americans think its rare for a father to be in a childs life. Im sorry that you think Im non-existant. Im sorry that my children will never know their Grand father. I have found a song for you daddy.
My bones are tired, Daddy
I don't get enough sleep
I don't eat as good as I should, Daddy
What's that say about me?
Sometimes I sleep past noon, Daddy
Drink lots of black coffee and I smoke like a chimney,
Yes, I left the refrigerator door half open, Daddy
What's that say about me?
Sometimes I want to rip out your throat, Daddy
For all those things you said that were mean,
Gonna make you just as vunerable as I was, Daddy
What's that say about me?
Sometimes I want to bash in your teeth, Daddy
Gonna use your tongue as a stamp
Gonna rip your heart out the way you did mine, Daddy
Go ahead and psycho-analyse that
'Cause I'm your creation, I'm your love Daddy
Grew up to be and do all those sick things you said I'd do
Well last night I saw you sneak out your window
With your white hood, Daddy
What's that say about you?
I'm sloppy, what's that say about you?
I'm messy, what's that say about you?
My bones are tired, Daddy.
I bet after reading that, you think I took you out of my life hard. Well, youre wrong. Because of you, I dont get walked all over. Allow someone to cheat on me, or dont recognize my self worth. I am a beautiful and strong woman. I believe you made me that way.
-Fourth. Id like to apologize to all of my friends over the years. I know I can be harsh and Ive probably said very cruel things to some of you and also, the fist fights. Im sorry that some of you feel that you cannot bring a boyfriend or guy you like around me because you are afraid of him liking me. Im sorry for you talking shit about me behind my back and never saying it to my face. And to one specific person. Im sorry I put out thousands of dollars to help you and you walked out on me when I trusted you, over a guy. Sorry you cant see that your man cheats on your ass while you sit at home getting fat and waiting on him. Hes NOT going to come around.
"I don't know what's been up with me past couple days, but I've been overly emotional and in a "blah" mood.
This actually brought a smile to my face and almost made me cry. (Yea, I know..I'm a mushy person)
"Seems as though everyone I know is becoming fake as fuck. Theres one person out of all the people I associate with that I trust to the fullest. Its a proven fact that when it comes down to it, you end up with ONE real friend. That friend is Katie. Shes never steered me wrong in any way. I heart her like no other. Even more than people I grew up with. I appreciate having you around KatieBand. Lets get married <33333 lol. -Daniella""
---------------------------------------------------
"Dear Rackle,
Youre my bestest friend ever. We have been through hell and back. Knowing you since 2nd grade has been a trip. Im glad you and I have stayed girls through all the years. Yeah, weve had our differences and stupid falling outs, but we are still girls till we die. Like the tat on our foot. One of those friendships you read on all the little icons and banners. The real live shit. No guys OR girls for that matter, have broke Kiwi and Kiki up! None ever will. Im your girl forever. Im proud of the two of us. Weve grown up big time. Im glad youre happy and soon to have you a little monkey. You will always have me to help you and to babysit when you need. Im sure Sara will love to help out. You'll always be Sissy to them and they love you too. Keep your head up cause no matter what, theres always greater skies ahead. Love you.
*Daniella "
ECT ECT ECT
Theres been far too many of these letters/messages to friends. I am not speaking of these two girls, but this is an example. I guess since I was so bad, I would not have bothered. I was a good friend. Maybe YOU were the bad friend. Maybe you can one day appreciate all the good I have done for you, besides thinking about all the negative we did TOGETHER.
Thats pretty much the end of the apology I wanted to give. Id like to thank all the real people in my life. All the people sticking by my side. All the people who havent put me down. All the people who have stuck around. The REAL friends/family. Youre why life is so great.
-Daniella
6:40 PM - 8 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Indescribable Description
good to see you rebuilding brdges you burnt
that takes a lot of courage and stregth i admire that<3
Posted by Indescribable Description on Thursday, February 08, 2007 at 7:30 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
♥ ÐANíE££A ♥
Did you actually read it? LOL
Posted by ♥ ÐANíE££A ♥ on Thursday, February 08, 2007 at 7:32 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
NeENeRS
i don't think that person read the whole thing lol..... i got halfway through before realizing you were being a sarcastic bitch. i fell in love <3
now get naked damnit!!!!!
Posted by NeENeRS on Thursday, February 08, 2007 at 9:53 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
♥ ÐANíE££A ♥
Im always naked
Posted by ♥ ÐANíE££A ♥ on Friday, February 09, 2007 at 2:06 AM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
Sandra
Ummm... i was i part of this? i know we have had are differents, but hey i will alwas be your little (big) sister. and eventhough i could kick your ass sometimes i will alwas love you and look up to you (in some ways)!!! love you... Oh and remeber who stated at orient for you for 10 hours... thats got to be some love...
your little sis... cassandra
Posted by Sandra on Thursday, February 08, 2007 at 9:54 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
♥ ÐANíE££A ♥
Id like to say thanks to the people that took the time to read this and sent me private messages about it. Fake bitches. Just kidding, but seriously thanks.
Posted by ♥ ÐANíE££A ♥ on Friday, February 09, 2007 at 2:07 AM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
Vee
Love it, just remember... the only thing that matters in the end is not where you've been, but where you end up. <3
Posted by Vee on Friday, February 09, 2007 at 10:27 AM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
Up♥Siid3d0wN
All I got to say is that, this letter was deep and u got balls... dont let them drop..
Posted by Up♥Siid3d0wN on Friday, February 09, 2007 at 6:25 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
Current mood: contemplative
Lately Ive got a chance to take a real look at my life and analize what people are in it. Ive been really mean to alot of people over the years and would like to apologize.
-First. Id like to apologize first to my kids father. For never being who you wanted me to be. For me always being that so-called piece of shit you make me out to be and mainly for never being anything to you, like you always remind me. I guess when I take a look at things from the past. They just dont seem to mesh with words spoken in the present. Maybe you need a wake up call. So.. here is one for you..
To the love of my life....
Daniella,
You are the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. Everything about you makes me feel gittie in side. When i look in to your eyes i can really see that love is great. You really have made the biggest change in my life, as well as the best change. All i want is for us to be happy. I want everyday to be just a lil better for you.
You are still the most gorgeous thing i ever laid eyes on. There is nothing else in this life that i could ever look at the way i look at you. You are really art in motion. Your beauty is unsurpassed by nothing but my love for you. Sometimes i just want to grab you up and just hold you.......and just keep holding on.
I love you with all my heart baby. You are my soul, my love, my life.....my wife.
I love you babe!!!!
much love,
Alan
Now, after you have read that, I hope it occurs to you how "horrible" I was. Maybe one day you can appreciate me putting 8yrs of my life on hold to watch the world revolve around you.
-Secondly. Id like to apologize to my mother. I know Im a fuck up. You love to remind me all the time. I know Im nothing like the rest of the family.. especially since they all graduated and have awesome jobs. HA! I apologize for all the hell I put you through. I apologize for you kicking my brothers out when they were fifteen and I apologize for you turning you back on me when I needed you the most, MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE. Yeah its nice that youre around now. Im sorry that you chose men over you children, because we didnt pay the bills. I apologize to god for you being a hypocrite. One day you will see all you have done to the people around you. I hope one day you see how much I defended you from the rest of the family. I hope one day you see how much shit Ive gone through because of you. I hope one day it bothers you that your children dislike you.
-Thirdly. Id like to apologize to my father. Im sorry that you were never around. Im sorry that I do not know you. Im sorry that I got to see all my friends with their dads while I sat on the sidelines like some bastard child. Im sorry that you are one reason why Americans think its rare for a father to be in a childs life. Im sorry that you think Im non-existant. Im sorry that my children will never know their Grand father. I have found a song for you daddy.
My bones are tired, Daddy
I don't get enough sleep
I don't eat as good as I should, Daddy
What's that say about me?
Sometimes I sleep past noon, Daddy
Drink lots of black coffee and I smoke like a chimney,
Yes, I left the refrigerator door half open, Daddy
What's that say about me?
Sometimes I want to rip out your throat, Daddy
For all those things you said that were mean,
Gonna make you just as vunerable as I was, Daddy
What's that say about me?
Sometimes I want to bash in your teeth, Daddy
Gonna use your tongue as a stamp
Gonna rip your heart out the way you did mine, Daddy
Go ahead and psycho-analyse that
'Cause I'm your creation, I'm your love Daddy
Grew up to be and do all those sick things you said I'd do
Well last night I saw you sneak out your window
With your white hood, Daddy
What's that say about you?
I'm sloppy, what's that say about you?
I'm messy, what's that say about you?
My bones are tired, Daddy.
I bet after reading that, you think I took you out of my life hard. Well, youre wrong. Because of you, I dont get walked all over. Allow someone to cheat on me, or dont recognize my self worth. I am a beautiful and strong woman. I believe you made me that way.
-Fourth. Id like to apologize to all of my friends over the years. I know I can be harsh and Ive probably said very cruel things to some of you and also, the fist fights. Im sorry that some of you feel that you cannot bring a boyfriend or guy you like around me because you are afraid of him liking me. Im sorry for you talking shit about me behind my back and never saying it to my face. And to one specific person. Im sorry I put out thousands of dollars to help you and you walked out on me when I trusted you, over a guy. Sorry you cant see that your man cheats on your ass while you sit at home getting fat and waiting on him. Hes NOT going to come around.
"I don't know what's been up with me past couple days, but I've been overly emotional and in a "blah" mood.
This actually brought a smile to my face and almost made me cry. (Yea, I know..I'm a mushy person)
"Seems as though everyone I know is becoming fake as fuck. Theres one person out of all the people I associate with that I trust to the fullest. Its a proven fact that when it comes down to it, you end up with ONE real friend. That friend is Katie. Shes never steered me wrong in any way. I heart her like no other. Even more than people I grew up with. I appreciate having you around KatieBand. Lets get married <33333 lol. -Daniella""
---------------------------------------------------
"Dear Rackle,
Youre my bestest friend ever. We have been through hell and back. Knowing you since 2nd grade has been a trip. Im glad you and I have stayed girls through all the years. Yeah, weve had our differences and stupid falling outs, but we are still girls till we die. Like the tat on our foot. One of those friendships you read on all the little icons and banners. The real live shit. No guys OR girls for that matter, have broke Kiwi and Kiki up! None ever will. Im your girl forever. Im proud of the two of us. Weve grown up big time. Im glad youre happy and soon to have you a little monkey. You will always have me to help you and to babysit when you need. Im sure Sara will love to help out. You'll always be Sissy to them and they love you too. Keep your head up cause no matter what, theres always greater skies ahead. Love you.
*Daniella "
ECT ECT ECT
Theres been far too many of these letters/messages to friends. I am not speaking of these two girls, but this is an example. I guess since I was so bad, I would not have bothered. I was a good friend. Maybe YOU were the bad friend. Maybe you can one day appreciate all the good I have done for you, besides thinking about all the negative we did TOGETHER.
Thats pretty much the end of the apology I wanted to give. Id like to thank all the real people in my life. All the people sticking by my side. All the people who havent put me down. All the people who have stuck around. The REAL friends/family. Youre why life is so great.
-Daniella
6:40 PM - 8 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Indescribable Description
good to see you rebuilding brdges you burnt
that takes a lot of courage and stregth i admire that<3
Posted by Indescribable Description on Thursday, February 08, 2007 at 7:30 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
♥ ÐANíE££A ♥
Did you actually read it? LOL
Posted by ♥ ÐANíE££A ♥ on Thursday, February 08, 2007 at 7:32 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
NeENeRS
i don't think that person read the whole thing lol..... i got halfway through before realizing you were being a sarcastic bitch. i fell in love <3
now get naked damnit!!!!!
Posted by NeENeRS on Thursday, February 08, 2007 at 9:53 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
♥ ÐANíE££A ♥
Im always naked
Posted by ♥ ÐANíE££A ♥ on Friday, February 09, 2007 at 2:06 AM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
Sandra
Ummm... i was i part of this? i know we have had are differents, but hey i will alwas be your little (big) sister. and eventhough i could kick your ass sometimes i will alwas love you and look up to you (in some ways)!!! love you... Oh and remeber who stated at orient for you for 10 hours... thats got to be some love...
your little sis... cassandra
Posted by Sandra on Thursday, February 08, 2007 at 9:54 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
♥ ÐANíE££A ♥
Id like to say thanks to the people that took the time to read this and sent me private messages about it. Fake bitches. Just kidding, but seriously thanks.
Posted by ♥ ÐANíE££A ♥ on Friday, February 09, 2007 at 2:07 AM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
Vee
Love it, just remember... the only thing that matters in the end is not where you've been, but where you end up. <3
Posted by Vee on Friday, February 09, 2007 at 10:27 AM
[Remove] [Reply to this]
Up♥Siid3d0wN
All I got to say is that, this letter was deep and u got balls... dont let them drop..
Posted by Up♥Siid3d0wN on Friday, February 09, 2007 at 6:25 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]