(no subject)
I've given up on hygiene. My teeth are rotting, my hair is falling out, I smell horrible, the hair on my face is patchy and disgusting, and I'm getting a gut. It seems that I'm always either hungover, upset, or never quite wasted. I don't know when I've had my fill. My lungs are full of shit and my voice has turned into a raspy gruff of what was once the voice of a boy with hopes and dreams. The bad news keeps on coming, too. When finally things seem alright, something new comes to light and I'm back down again.
I spent Valentine's Day in the bar. When a friend left because he was shrooming, I drank by myself and played pool -- beating everyone that attempted to play. I walked home alone, trying not to slip on the ice that had already formed from the melting of the weekend's snow and, after making it back, decided it was not time for bed. It was far too late for me to be up, but my priorities for the next day didn't matter. So I broke the one resolution I made over a month ago that I swore I'd keep. I sat alone, like I did at the bar, and while I ate I watched people continuing their night -- splitting pitchers and singing horrible karaoke. I walked back home by myself again, forcing smoke into my lungs until I reached my steps.
I got into bed, set my alarm, and let my mind drown.
At least no one made fun of my shoes today.
I spent Valentine's Day in the bar. When a friend left because he was shrooming, I drank by myself and played pool -- beating everyone that attempted to play. I walked home alone, trying not to slip on the ice that had already formed from the melting of the weekend's snow and, after making it back, decided it was not time for bed. It was far too late for me to be up, but my priorities for the next day didn't matter. So I broke the one resolution I made over a month ago that I swore I'd keep. I sat alone, like I did at the bar, and while I ate I watched people continuing their night -- splitting pitchers and singing horrible karaoke. I walked back home by myself again, forcing smoke into my lungs until I reached my steps.
I got into bed, set my alarm, and let my mind drown.
At least no one made fun of my shoes today.