Kagefumi (21/29)
Title: Kagefumi
Author: Fabi & Dani (
dani_mathoz)
Translator:
br_arashi Thank you ♥
Pairing: Ohmiya (main), Aiba x ? (mentioned)
Genre: Romance and Angst
Rating: NC-17
Summary: 'Two lonely and suffered hearts look in the shadows of an agitated city, the light that can free them from the darkness in which they live'
Disclaimer: I don't own them, sadly ;-;
Just a reminder, English is not our first language please be kind ♥
CHAPTER 21
“Don’t disappear; don’t disappear
The remains of the early summer rain
The traces of the tears that won’t dry
Cannot be erased; cannot be erased
The shadow of my beloved one, floating in the dark night”
Konseki
Nino’s fingers grabbed the bedsheets as soon as he felt Miura’s hands holding his waist forcefully and his movements getting stronger behind him. However, in spite of the uncomfortable feeling, he relaxed his body, in relief. He knew by experience that his ex-boyfriend was getting to his limit and soon all that would be over.
Not that it mattered, actually.
If that was the only way he had of protecting Satoshi, he would subject himself to Miura as many times as necessary. And, to be honest, it could be worse. Most of the times he didn’t even remember the sex, too drugged to realize what was happening around him.
Even in his clarity moments, he was just indifferent. He didn’t take part on the sex, but neither protested. He just let his senpai do whatever he wanted. After all… he could only take his body.
His heart and mind were somewhere else, in a small apartment in Shinagawa, preparing Niji’s meal or cuddling against Satoshi in the couch, trying to focus in a baseball game. They were in the kitchen when the cop would hold him from behind, while he was still cooking. They were naked, caressing each other in bath… They were in all the memories he had created with the man he loved, in the taste of his kisses, in the scent of his body, in his passionate eyes.
They could be anywhere, but there.
That’s why he just closed his eyes and waited. As he has predicted, a few thrusts later, Miura shivered in satisfaction.
Nino let his body fall over the bed and hid his face on the pillow. He heard when his ex-boyfriend took off the condom and threw him at a corner beside the bed, before hugging him, sweaty and puffing.
He felt the older man’s lips touching his back, tenderly.
- I love you, Kazu...
He didn't answer to that.
Not even when Miura's mouth captured his.
One thing was to allow the man to use him, another was to correspond to his assaults.
Ignoring the possessive hug, he stood up and, without bothering to getting dressed, he left the bedroom. He passed by Kyoichi in the living room, also disregarding his hurt and jealous eyes. In the beginning, he had worried about his feelings towards the senpai. He knew how much he loved the older man, since they were kids. The circumstances, nonetheless, made him get over any feelings, including the pain on the eyes of the man who had once been one of his best friends.
He got in the bathroom and turned the shower, scrubbing his body with strength. With that, he tried to clean his body of the dirt to which he was subjected. The dirt of his soul, he cleaned with an uncontrolled and desperate cry.
Only when the tears ceased to fall he covered his body with a towel and went back to the bedroom in search of clothes.
Miura was sleeping face down, hugging a pillow.
Nino watched his naked and muscled body, comfortably lying over the bed. Then, he analyzed his handsome and serene face. He could almost recognize on him the sweet and joyful teenager with whom he had fallen in love, to whom he had given his first kiss, his first time and his innocence. He wondered when he had changed and why. Certainly, it had started when he started messing with drugs, but he has never understood why he decided to follow that path.
Miura Hayato had been a promising athlete, the best swimmer of the school. For several times he had been jealous of his love for the pools, of the way he dedicated himself to the sport, frequently neglecting him in favor of the intense training.
Due to his amazing skills in the pools, he had received offers of scholarships from some of the best universities of the country and even accepted one of them, studying there for two years. Then, all of a sudden, he abandoned everything: the course, the swimming and his fame, becoming someone who Nino was unable to recognize.
His involvement with the drug dealing turned him into a cold and violent man. There was still passion in his eyes and in the way he made love, but there was also something that was never there before: a possessive feeling that transformed him.
The first appearance of that new facet of his, then, boyfriend, showed up against a classmate of his. Maruyama had asked for Nino’s help in a Literature homework, more specifically, in a point of the subject he had not understood. A few days later, in gratitude, he invited him to a hamburger after school.
At first, Nino considered declining it. He hadn't done nothing much, after all Literature was his favorite subject and he had always enjoyed writing. It was nothing to help a friend in need. But then, thinking better, he decided it would be interesting for him to spend his time with other people besides Ren and Kyoichi. Not that he didn’t like their company. They have always been his best friends, but he missed getting to know and dealing with other people.
He befriended Maruyama almost immediately. He had already sympathized with him when he helped him with his studies. He was joyful, funny and they both shared a liking for music. He was the bass player of the music club to which they both attended and it was in one of its breaks he had asked him for help, aware of his fame of being the best student in that subject. That was the first time they ever talked.
After the hamburger, they met in other occasions. In one of them, they’ve gone together to a see the performance of street artists in the exit of Shinjuku station. It had been a while since Nino had so much fun. He was still laughing with Maru when they were approached by a gang of rowdies. While he was being held by two of them, the others attacked his friend. He only understood why the other boy was the only target of the attack when he noticed Miura, a few steps ahead, fuming in anger and jealousy.
After that day, he started avoiding Maru and anyone else who could be hurt by his boyfriend’s possessiveness. Their fights started, as well as the aggressions. As soon as Miura spanked him, he started crying, begging for his forgiveness and promising him that it would never happen again. He could do as promised for a few months, until losing his control again with another senseless jealousy; or simply to vent his frustrations.
Nino ended up getting used to the situation and started using the drugs without realizing… When he noticed, he was already unable to stop.
He lived in that torture for almost two years, feeling the weight of the irony on his back. He had escaped home for being unable to accept his mother’s subjection to her husband and he was acting just like her. Sometimes, he considered leaving Miura, but he always promised he would change. Besides, he liked him. He was grateful for his protection, for being the only one to offer him help when he needed the most. It would be too unfair if he left him just because of those crises. It was his way of loving him and he just let it happen.
Until he met someone who taught him that things could be different.
Only when he reached the front of the warehouse, Nino stopped running. His body bent, airless, and he allowed himself to rest for a few seconds. Then, he stared at the wall with teary eyes, choosing an ideal spot. He took the spray out of his pocket and shook it. He didn't have to think too much for the words to come to life, one after another, revealing all the restrained hurt of his recent fight with his boyfriend. How much longer would he have to bear that situation?
He pressed the button of the cold can. Even though he was shaking, his handwriting was steady and free.
“If I could go back to the time when everything fell apart
Would I be able to understand all that is happening now?
The words, the gestures, your eyes?
Pretending to be cute, walking around wearing a lie
I wonder why the colors of the city seem so beautiful to me
Could it be because I’m dirty?
It i…”
(Gimmick Game)
- Hey, you! Stop that right now!
- Shit! - cursed Nino, as soon as he heard the commanding voice approaching him. He threw the black beanie over his head, threw away the spray can and climbed the protection grid, running in the opposite direction of the shouts.
Nino wasn’t as fast as he wanted, though. His clumsy jump made him sprain his foot and soon he felt a hand grabbing him by the shoulder. He still tried to disentangle himself, but the other man was stronger and more experienced and held him in an arm lock.
- Take it easy, boy! - the man said, gasping. - Don’t try and make things harder to you. God! What do you think you are doing? Hasn't anyone ever told you that vandalizing public buildings is a crime?
- I’m so sorry… - he mumbled, realizing that his captor was a policeman.
The officer sighed.
Nino felt when he softened his grip, but still being careful not to let him go completely. With one of his hands, he took off the beanie of his head.
- What are you doing at this hour in the streets, kiddo? - he asked, as soon as he noticed his childish features. - Your parents might be worried.
- I have no parents…
- Well, this explains your terrible behavior - the older man said, severely. Then, he looked at the scribbled wall. - Tell me… what did you intend to do with this graffiti? Have you done this before? Actually, what do these words mean? Is it the lyrics of one of these songs that you kids like to hear?
Nino denied with his head.
- A poem, then?
Another denial.
- It’s just something I wanted to let out… - he tried to justify himself.
- You were venting your feelings? - the cop asked, with a curiosity glimmer in his eyes. - So you like writing, kiddo? - he waited for a confirmation that didn’t come. - In this case, you could have used a notebook, you know? It would be better than ruining a public building and risking yourself like this… You are aware that your action will have a consequence, aren’t you?
Nino’s eyes widened, frightened and regretful for being so careless. He didn’t want to be taken to the juvenile detention house. He had heard many stories about the treatment given in them and he wasn’t willing to experience it due to a stupid mistake. He considered apologizing, but, instead, he raised his exhausted and indifferent eyes to the man.
Maybe spending some time in reclusion wouldn’t be that bad, compared to his current situation, after all.
- I don’t mind - he answered, in defiance.
The older man smiled, as if amused by his stoic poise.
- You are an interesting boy - he said, guiding him to the car. - I like that.
For a moment, Nino feared his enigmatic eyes. It was obvious there were more implicit things behind those words than just his duty as an officer.
Nino’s suspicions were confirmed as soon as the car passed straight through the police station entrance. He had already heard about abusive officers, who negotiated freedom in exchange for sexual favors. The mere idea of giving himself to anyone but his boyfriend caused him nausea and horror. He grabbed his pants, tense, his mind working hard to develop a plan to escape that fate.
However, the older man gave him no chance to consummate his intentions. He parked his car in front of a narrow street. At that time, a few after eleven, there wasn’t many people around. The poor illumination came from the light posts and of a few buildings.
The cop got off the car and guided him to an alley.
Different from all he could imagine, though, the place where he took him wasn’t secluded. There was a couple at the entrance and a middle-aged man, sitting at another table, in the center.
At the counter of the family restaurant in which they had entered, there was a smiling lady.
- Good evening, Onii-san! I thought you wouldn’t show up today!
- And losing the Wednesday's special menus? - he smiled with tenderness. - I’m sorry for my delay. I was on my way, but then I was held by an urgent matter… - he squeezed the lad’s shoulder with his fingers.
She nodded, as if understanding what he meant.
- Would you like to eat now or would you rather have a beer first?
- I’ll skip the beer. Please, bring us two well served special menus.
- Right away! - she blinked, before vanishing behind the curtains.
Nino sat on the chair indicated by the cop. He was still thinking about escaping as soon as he could, but the smell of the food was so tantalizing that he couldn't leave. Only then he realized how hungry he was.
- Two well served special menus, Maou! - announced a man, coming from the kitchen with two bowls of ramen on a tray. - I was curious when Fumiko told me you had company.
His heart raced, surprised and scared. This was the famous Maou? He had heard a lot about his accomplishments and his severity. They said he was relentless against the crime.
He gasped when the man touched his shoulder.
- I came to show to my friend here the best restaurant in town - he answered with a smile. - Do you have a name?
- Ninomiya - he answered, after a few seconds of hesitation. His gentle look didn’t seem to live up to the nickname by which he was known.
- I hope you enjoy it, Ninomiya-kun - the employee said, before smiling to the cop and returning to the kitchen.
The officer chanted a respectful “Itadakimasu” and tasted a bit of the broth.
- Umai! - he exclaimed, satisfied, before getting back to attack the food. - Aren’t you going to eat? - he asked, after a few minutes in which Nino remained static.
He moved his eyes away from the man and tasted his ramen. It was really delicious. He felt his stomach grumbling of hunger and, without ceremony, he started eating.
- How old are you, Ninomiya-kun?
- Nineteen - he answered immediately, regretting soon after. He owed no explanations to this man.
- Is it true what you said about having no parents?
- It is - he answered, while biting a piece of pork loin.
For a moment, the man said nothing else, but Nino wasn’t relieved by this, feeling his analytic stare over him. At a certain moment, he touched his chin, turning his face to him.
- Where did you get this bruise? - he asked, while watching the purple stain, right below his left eye. - Gang fight?
- No.
- Had a quarrel with anyone?
Nino sighed, annoyed by the questioning. They weren’t in a police station, after all. He considered not answering, but something pushed him to tease the man, to bring down his mask of worried cop. He still couldn’t understand why he hadn’t been arrested. Why had he taken him there, where he seemed to be friend of the employees? And even though hadn’t taken him to a more secluded place, he still wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t. Maybe, he was only trying to win his trust before making a perverted proposition.
- My boyfriend - he said, in order to test his reaction.
The shocked expression he expected didn’t come. Instead, the man nodded, understanding.
- Would you like something to drink? - he offered, friendly.
Nino lost his patience.
- Why are you being so nice?
He faced him.
- Because I have a son, Ninomiya-kun. I would like to have someone to look after him if he was as lost as you…
- I’m not lost! You know nothing of me to judge me like that…
- You are wrong. In my job, I’ve seen several boys like you. In the outside, they act as if they don’t mind a thing, but inside, they are desperately crying for help.
- As I said, you know nothing about me! - he stood up, angry. - Are you going to arrest me?
- Do you want to be arrested?
- Are you or are you not?
- No.
- Then, - he said, in anger, cleaning the tears that were starting to fall with the back of his hands - I’m leaving. Thanks for the meal.
- Ninomiya-kun?
He stopped by the door at hearing his name.
- Tomorrow, at nine, be right in front of the warehouse you’ve painted. Wear your oldest clothes; they will get dirty…
Nino smiled, wrathful, as soon as he heard the order. As if he would obey them! He left with harsh steps, swearing not to see that man ever again.
In the next day, however, at the scheduled time, he was in front of the warehouse. He didn’t say a thing in face of the superior grin of the cop. He just took the can of paint from the man's hand and started working on the wall he had painted.
Nino smiled with the memory. After that day, for almost five months, he met with Maou. He took him to lunch or just talked to him. He enjoyed listening to the cop, hearing his advices. He hadn’t felt that comfortable with someone in a long time. Once, he gave him a hard cover notebook as a gift, telling him to write down his thoughts there, instead of expressing them on other people’s walls. Then, he started writing everything that hurt him or thrilled him, his dreams, hopes and delusions. One afternoon, the cop took him to fish. He said he usually took his son with him, but he was busy with his exams to enter the police academy. He promised him that, next time, they would go in three.
He also told him several times that he was sure that he and his son would become very good friends.
Nino bit his lip, shaken. If he and Satoshi had met at that time, could things have been different?
Not that it mattered now. Maou was dead and he would never see Oh-chan again.
Sometimes, he considered escaping for a while to see him, but he couldn’t risk it. Miura wasn’t someone who would not fulfill his promises. Nino knew, by the senpai's look when he told him he would hurt Satoshi if he left him, that it wasn’t just an empty threat. For much less, he had killed Maou.
His chest clenched, remembering that day. He had waited so much for him… He had something important to tell the cop: he had decided to follow his advice and leave his boyfriend. He had found a music school and he was willing to go back to school. He wanted to start from scratch, getting rid of the drugs and becoming a composer. The captain never showed up, though. He heard, a few weeks later, that he had died on duty. The pain he felt was as big as, or even bigger than when he had lost his own father.
He could never imagine that his boyfriend had been the responsible for that. He had noticed that Miura was acting weird those days and was growing more possessive every passing day. Living with him had become unbearable and, in an act of courage and independence, he left him. He only didn't manage get rid of his chemical addiction.
It had been six years since then and a lot had happened afterwards. He had fallen in love and ended up losing the man he loved. All because of that man, sleeping in front of him unworried and exhausted.
For a few seconds, he thought about how vulnerable he seemed… It would be so easy to close his hands around his neck and squeeze it until he couldn’t breathe anymore, but… he wasn’t like him, he wasn’t a murderer and that wouldn’t solve his problems.
As long as Satoshi was safe, he could bear anything. He aspirated a bit of the powder he found over the dresser, hoping that the effect would come quickly. He gave up on searching for clothes and, getting rid of the towel around his waist, just lied down on his place in bed, waiting for the moment when Miura would throw an arm around his waist, the way he did every night.
**************************
Nino knew there was something wrong when his ex-boyfriend entered the private room of the warehouse. It wasn’t his first time being forced to follow him in a drug trading. However, he had never allowed him to be present in the negotiation. Usually, he asked him to wait in a secluded place.
- Is there a problem?
- I wouldn’t say it’s a problem - Miura answered, sarcastic. - I think it looks like fun….
- What do you mean? - he asked, worried, his heart clenching with a bad feeling.
- Ohno Satoshi… this name means something to you?
Nino stood up, restless.
- He is here - the senpai informed him, a smug smile adorning his face.
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Notes: Hello Minna, finally Nino is back! We was really anxious to know your reactions about Nino's comeback... Well as many ofyou did noticed he is with Miura... That was his way to protect Ohno and that chapter explain how did start the relationship between Nino and Miura.. We're always saying 'All that glitters is not gold' so that applies here too Miura in the begining wasn't like that... well at leats befre drugs... The next chapter is one of my favorites so please stay tunned!
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