Kagefumi (19/29)
Title: Kagefumi
Author: Fabi & Dani (dani_mathoz)
Translator: br_arashi Thank you ♥
Pairing: Ohmiya (main), Aiba x ? (mentioned)
Genre: Romance and Angst
Rating: NC-17
Summary: 'Two lonely and suffered hearts look in the shadows of an agitated city, the light that can free them from the darkness in which they live'
Disclaimer: I don't own them, sadly ;-;
Just a reminder, English is not our first language please be kind ♥
CHAPTER 19
If there are dreams that don't come true too
Are you going to give up already?
Feel the things that you can't see
With hope and wishes
To carry on Hold them tightly Yeah
Let's try believing again
Feel the path that you can't see
On the path only for you
To carry on One step at a time is okay
Carry On
- Is today the last time I’m sleeping here, Uncle Sho?
- No, princess - he caressed her soft hair. - You can come here whenever you want.
- Really? - she asked cuddling the gigantic Funassyi plush that shared her bed.
- Really.
- So can I stay here everyday?
- Why? Don’t to wanna move to the new house? Your mother told me there is a beautiful bedroom there, just for you.
- It’s true. Hayashi-san has already taken me there to see. I like to stay at your house, though, with you and mommy.
- I know, dear - Sho smiled. - But Hayashi is your papa now and you and your mom will need to stay beside him. Don’t you like him?
- I do… He took me to the zoo, to Disneyland and even bought me a new doll. But…
Sho hugged the little girl, protectively. It had always been only her and her mom and, all of a sudden, she had a new family and would be moving to a new house. It was only natural that she would be startled to see her world change at the blink of an eye.
- You will get used to it, sweetie. Don’t worry, everything is gonna be all right. You trust me, right?
- Un… - she nodded. - Uncle Sho…
- Yes?
- Do you think Hayashi-san would like it if I called him Papa?
Sho smiled.
- I’m sure he would love it.
- Uncle Sho?
- Yes?
- Would you tell me a story?
- Sure - he nodded, stretching his arm to the bedside table in order to pick up one of the girl’s favorite books and open it to read.
****************************************
- Is Aya-chan already asleep?
- Yes. She was very tired - Sho answered, sitting beside his best friend at the sofa. - I’m gonna miss her so much, Satoshi!
- I believe you will. You are very attached to your niece.
- Yes - he nodded, laying his head on the back rest. - I have a connection with her since the moment I held her in my arms, in the nursery. And, the more she grows up, the more in love I become. I don’t know what I’m gonna do when I arrive from work and face an empty house.
- It’s not as if you’ll never see her again, Sho. You can always bring her here and spend some time with her.
- I know - he sighed, certain that his sister would never prevent him from spending his time with his niece, if he wanted.
That very night, when she said goodbye, besides thanking him for all the support she had received during the time she had stayed at his house, she even suggested that her daughter, asleep in her arms, spent one last night there, with him.
- Do you wanna another beer? - he asked, standing up to go to the fridge.
- It’s a good idea - Satoshi smiled, changing the channels on the TV without asking for permission. - I hope you don’t mind me picking some clothes from your wardrobe. That suit was killing me.
Just then, the psychologist noticed his friend was wearing his t-shirt and short pants.
- No problem - he confirmed. Sho was already going offer some clothes to his friend, so he could feel more comfortable. After all, he had invited him to spend the night there. - Thanks for attending to the wedding with me, Satoshi.
- Of course I would go! I held your sister in my arms when she was a baby, have you forgotten? How could I miss her wedding?
- Do you remember she used to say she would marry you when she grew up?
- Of course, I do - he smiled back. - However, her love ended as soon as she turned ten and fell in love with a classmate, remember? She even told me to ask my mom to teach her how to prepare chocolate cookies for Valentine’s Day!
- How was his name again?
- Asano - Satoshi answered, after thinking for a while. - Do you remember that time we approached him at the exit of the school, to ask his intentions with her?
Sho laughed, remembering how the boy was shaking in front of them.
He was ready to make a comment on the subject, when he felt his cellphone vibrating. It was a message, wishing him a good evening and asking about the ceremony.
He typed his answer quickly and, in a few seconds, he received another one: “I miss you. I wish I was there with you.”
He smiled.
- Is this your boyfriend? - Satoshi asked, curious.
He nodded, still feeling himself weird with the title. He and Maeda-san have been seeing each other for a month already, since the Korean Symposium. They had spent five days there, busy with the meetings. The other two days, they’ve spent sharing the bed and exploring the paradisiacal island of Jeju, as Sho knew would happen as soon as he accepted the invitation. They’ve been together since.
- He was asking about the wedding.
- Is he still in Hokkaido?
- Yes, he will be back on Thursday.
- How are you two going?
- We are fine.
- I’m happy you’ve found someone, Sho. But… are you sure Maeda-sensei is the right one? I think you are hesitating so much in this relationship - Satoshi said, in a worried tone. - What exactly do you feel for him?
He took a sip of his beer.
- I won’t lie by telling you I’m in love. I like his company, though. He’s gentle, refined and dedicated - he sighed. - Sometimes, I feel a bit unsure about our age gap. You know I have no experience in long commitments. On the other side, these seventeen years between us give me the safety to know he is taking us seriously. I like the feeling of being desired, every time he looks at me or when we make love. I want this to work, Nii-chan.
The cop adjusted his body on the sofa, his eyes searching for the therapist’s ones.
- If that’s what you really want, I’ll be cheering for the two of you, Sho. I just hope you are not in this relationship for the wrong reasons.
Sho raised an eyebrow, questing.
- What are you talking about?
- I’m talking about your feelings for Aiba-san. Won’t you ever confess to him?
- Masaki is just a friend of mine…
- You are my best friend, Sho. Do you really think I can’t see the way you look at him? The way you smile when you say his name?
- I… - he lowered his eyes, defeated. - If I thought, for even a second, that he would accept my feelings, I would confess to him. Masaki will always see me as a friend, though. I don’t wanna ruin what we have.
- Are you okay with that?
Sho nodded.
- Knowing that he’s happy is enough for me.
- And do you believe he is?
Sho faced his friend. In any other circumstances, he would find it funny the inversion of their roles. He had always been the one questioning Satoshi, pushing him into admitting to his own feelings.
- I know he will. The love he and Matsumoto have for each other is too strong, Satoshi. You would understand if you saw them together.
His friend squeezed one of his shoulders, in a comforting gesture.
- It must be very hard for you.
- Yeah, I can’t deny. It hurts a lot… - he blinked, trying to send away his emotions. - But I’ve always knew my role in Masaki’s life would be of a friend, only. I’m happy with that.
- When did you know? That you were in love with him?
- Since the first time I saw him, I believe.
- Next, please - the attendant called, making Sho realize that it was his time to make his order. He was busy searching for his wallet inside his bag.
- Special number 2, please… - he ordered, while still looking into his bag.
- Anything to drink?
- An orange juice is fine.
- Right! - she registered his order. - 650 yen, sir - she informed, handing him the receipt.
- Well, I… - he looked into his pockets, embarrassed. - I’m sorry. Could you cancel it? I believe I’ve forgotten my wallet at home…
- I’m afraid I can’t help you. I’ve already registered…
- Keep the order - he heard an unknown voice saying behind him. - And add another Special Number 2 to it, please.
- Anything to drink?
- A mugi-cha would be great.
Sho stared at the stranger, ashamed.
- You don’t have to do this…
- I don’t, - the man offered him a wide smile - but I want to.
- It’s 1,250 iens, sir.
- This is yours - the stranger handed him one of the receipts the attendant gave him.
- Thank you.
- Not for that, senpai. Are you alone? Would you like to join me for lunch?
Sho followed him to a near table.
- Tomorrow’s lunch will be on me, then…
- Eh? Are you asking me out on a date?
- It’s not a date! - he rushed to say, embarrassed. - I just want to pay you back. If you prefer, I can…
- I’m just kidding - Sho realized how easy it was to get lost in that smile. - I would love to see you again. I’m Aiba Masaki - he offered him his hand. - I’m in the third year of Medicine.
- Nice to meet you - he returned the greeting. - I’m in the last year of Psychology. My name is Sakurai Sho.
- So, Sho-senpai, why do you want to become a psychologist?
- It was immediate, Satoshi. I fell in love with his honest smile, with his spontaneity, with the way he talked to me as if he had known me for my entire life. We started having lunch together every time our schedules allowed. If it wasn’t lunch, we would meet outside the college. It was in one of these meetings that he introduced me to Matsumoto and, when I saw them together, I realized I would never have a chance with him.
- Sho...
- What about you? - he asked, clearly trying to change the subject. - When did you realize you were in love with Ninomiya?
- I’m not sure… I know that, just as you have fallen in love with Aiba’s smile, I was mesmerized by Nino’s eyes. So expressive, so hurt… I felt that, just like me, he was lost. I wanted to… I don’t know, I wanted to protect him, to make those eyes to smile again.
Satoshi emptied his can of beer and went to the fridge to get two others.
- However, I was so pissed off with my life that all I could do was drag him to a cheap love hotel and throw over him my own pain - he continued, after going back to his place in the sofa, beside Sho. He handed him one of the cans and opened the other one. - I was a bit harsh on him… He didn’t complain, though, not even once. I believed he liked it that way, so… I let myself go. However, while I was diving deeper and deeper into him, I realized I wasn’t only unloading - he guided the can to his lips. - I was surrendering myself. For the first time I felt it wasn’t only sex. But, then… when I woke up, he wasn’t there anymore.
- How did you feel?
- Disappointed, I guess… I thought I would never see him again, until we saw him at that music store.
- You had to see your expression there…
Satoshi smiled, imagining how surprised and embarrassed he must have seemed.
- I was so glad when I saw him again. Almost happy, you know?
- Well… as far as I know, he felt the same…
- I took him to live with me in an impulse. I even regretted it for a few seconds, but he fit into my routine so naturally that… I can’t imagine my life without him.
- Do you think he feels the same?
- I’m sure he does.
- Then, why are you still so unsure?
- He still hides something and that’s killing me… I wish he trusted me, that he would let me help him.
- Maybe it’s not that he doesn’t trust you, Satoshi. Maybe it’s just hard to tell you what bothers him.
- It can be, even more considering what I suspect. I wanted him to know I will always be there to support him, though.
- Tell him this, as soon as he is back from his trip. Maybe, he just need to be assured that you are willing to help him healing his wounds.
Satoshi turned his eyes to the variety show that was airing in the TV. He had not told Sho about the circumstances of his boyfriend’s depart, just that he went to his hometown to settle some personal matters. A big fat lie, considering he was from Tokyo. What else could he tell him, though? That he didn’t know where he was or even why he had gone? He hadn’t seen him in two months and the lack of news was killing him…
He wanted to see him; he longed to touch him. Dear Lord! How much he missed his presence at his house, his warmth in bed, his good morning smile, his welcoming hug…
He wanted to hear from his mouth the confession written in that goodbye note.
Probably, it was because of those words he decided to do as he was asked and trust on him. He was getting to his limit, however. Where could he be? With who? Was he taking care of himself?
His uncertainty was making him lose focus and he started to worry. He needed to do something about it before dying of angst and longing.
- You are right, Sho.
His friend smiled.
- It’s good to see you so in love.
- Not just in love - he admitted. - I love Nino. Like I’ve never thought I’d be able to love someone.
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Notes: Hello our dearest readers ♥ Well to don't make you suffer in every chapter, after that sad note from Nino we decide to gave a cute chapter xD. Is not cute see both grown men talking about love??? We couldn't resist... So we will have more action but as DoS you will suffer a bit... but we do love you ♥
Comment are always ♥