Tsarist Russia as a Korean drama? You bet.
I am referring, of course, to my new and amusing addition to the roster of things dangermousie-watches-and-writes-about, a.k.a. Bednaya Nastya. BN is a Russian telenovela, and is not to be confused with Bednaya Liza, a famous short story by Nikolai Karamzin about a poor girl in love with a nobleman officer (unlike the heroine of the telonovela who ends up rich and married to her OTP, Liza drowns herself after being cast off by her boyfriend who marries a rich widow, a much more likely ending, IMO). I almost bet the name is sort of a riff on that. After all, this has to be the only tv program I've seen where the heroine daydreams of the hero while reciting bits from Griboyedov.. Points for that.
Anyway, BN is a ridiculously emo period telenovela, set in 1839 and follows our heroine, Anna, who is a talented singer and actress, and is very pretty in a very telenovela (make-up, froofy hair) kinda way. Anna is making quite a stir in St. Petersburg but she has *cue suspense music* a hideous secret. She is *cue suspense music* actually a serf.
Which would ordinarily suck big time (serfs were literally slaves: they could be bought and sold, or lost at cards, couldn't travel or marry without permission etc etc) but the elderly country gentleman who brought her up, treated her as a quasi-daughter, gave her an education, and sent her to act, while hiding her status. But here is where the kdrama element comes in. That elderly gentlman has kicked the bucket, and the new owner is his only son, Baron Vladimir Korf, a haughty young man only a bit older than Anna. A hot-tempered, high-handed young man, Vladimir proclaims his disdain for Anna at the least opportunity.
Never fear, since Vladimir is played by the hottest guy in the drama (IMO), he shall not drag Anna back by the hair and make her till the fields. Instead, he is going to get a lot of artfully-filmed angst, character growth while wearing impeccably cut coats, and fall madly in love with her, thus fulfilling the kdrama quotient of people who are brought up together=true love. Anna should just be thankful he is not her half-brother.
But since if this was the only plot, the drama would be about 20 episodes long and the sponsors would be out of luck, there is a bunch of other things, such as the fact that Anna hates Vladimir's guts now (hasn't she seen Hanadan? That means lurve), a lot of political intrigue, duels, jails and other excuses for young men to look noble. Also, since everyone knows that if you are well-bred and wear period clothes, you are bound to be hot, there are a lot of hot young people running around in various OTP combinations. And of course Anna has another attractive young man fall in love with her (and he is her first choice), Prince Michael Repnin, who is not only outranking Vladimir but is also *cue suspense music* Vladimir's best friend. Thus fulfilling another Korean drama quotient.
There are gypsies, priests, Royal mistresses, swords, rescues from evil kidnappers, and God knows what else. It's cheesy, it has no intellectual value, and I love it. Maybe because I love romantic melodrama, or haughty fictional aristocrats, or shiny things. Naaaah, most likely it's the men.
Here are our leads:
Our heroine Anna is rocking the peasant chic. Circa 1960.
Our hero, Tuxedo Mask. Nah, it's actually angsty Vladimir:
And here are the rest:
Prince Michael Repnin, best friend of our hero and his rival in lurve. We know he is manly because of the gold braid:
Crown Prince Alexandr (future Tsar). Probably is so frowny as he is thinking of how to execute the makers for daring to put him into a romance drama:
Natalya Repnina. Michael's younger sister, she is the Crown Prince's OTP. She gets to know him in order to save self from becoming the Tsar's mistress so I suppose she is into future returns as opposed to present benefits. Ehhh, I kid. They are adorable together, even though shipping them feels like RPF.
Lisa Dolgorukaya. Neighboring noblewoman madly in love with Vladimir (who I guess could always make a living that way, what with all the women after him. He and Anna could be a super swinger couple :P). Since she's known him since childhood, is it a battle of two childhood loves? Do Korean dramas have a rule for such a situation? That is not Stained Glass? Because I don't want quasi-drownings:
Olga. Former freulein to the Empress, I think she is the cause of most of the political intrigue and since it gives us plenty of angst and jailtime for the hunky hero, we got to thank her!
Andrei Dolgorukyi (no idea how to spell it in English). Unforturnately he is engaged to Natalya pictured above, which is a pity as he is cute in his glasses but can't outrank a future Tsar :P
But then he can always console himself with Tatiana, a serf girl really hot for him. Hey, I am sure she cooks better than Natalya:
Nikita, a serf in love with Anna. For what is a telenovela without at least half a dozen men falling over themselves for one over-made-up woman?
Princess Maria, Prince Alexandr's sister. (yavannie77 corrected me and it's his future wife. Oooops). I don't think she has an OTP in this drama, which makes her a rarity:
Father Paul. 'Know the beard, feel the beard, love the beard.'
Polina. Every drama has to have an evil skank, and this is BN's. You can tell so by the renfair outfit and five-dollar-special hair. She is jealous of Anna's success and relatively less blinding wardrobe.
Evil Person Number 1: Maria Dolgorukaya:
Evil Person Number 2: Zabaluyev:
Evil Person Number 3: Shuller:
I am very grateful for the existence of the three, for I crave my angst madly!
And here are some stills. Hmmmm, will my reason for watching this be self-evident from them, I wonder.
Ahem:
'Do you think we wondered into a kdrama by mistake and will have to freeze to death with angsty voice-overs?'
That's actually rather pretty.
What does Fabio have that I don't? And I am the Crown Prince, thank you very much!
'Don't cry! I got you the best tablecloth available!'
In the 19th century, you could tell the serfs apart by the shiny make-up they wore. It made it easier to track them:
I keep expecting Doctor Who to pop out:
Heeeee. 'Am zombie, will eat your braiiiiiiins'
'No. This is what a zombie whould look like.'
'If you won't give Anna to me, can I at least get your horse? I think I might switch to brunettes.'
'I have escaped from Sailor Moon, wheeeee' (No, this will never get old)
I got nothin' except for liking the outfits:
Who doesn't love fictional angsty men in uniforms?
You know what they say about men with long noses (yes, I am 12) :P
Like the costumes:
'We are auditioning for Anna karenina. Even got the outfits!'
Dimples:
I have a giant urge to throw paint at him, this is much too clean!
'For we are ah-tistic'
'I shall squint. Either in angsty concentration or because I am nearsighted'
OK, this reminds me of nothing else as much as the wedding of Liz and Max from Roswell that they would have had if the world didn't change:
I mean, look at Max/Liz:
Oh, and because I would, here is another youtube scene (I think this is fairly late on). She asks him to take her with him:
She: Vladimir!
He: Anna, what happened?
She: You forgot to take me with you. And I am going with you.
He: But how about theater? You can't leave everything.
She: Yes, I can. Don't say a word. You will take me with you, won't you?
*hug* [smart girl, how many chances for noble hotties do you have in this life? Well, being a telenovela heroine, probably a lot].
He: Yes.
(later}
He: Are you tired?
She: how could I be tired? I slept the whole way on your shoulder...My God, how nice it is to be home.
He: It's not a home without you [seriously, it doesn't sound cheesy in Russian, or even particularly a huge thing to say. Hmmm. Russian is a lot more emo language I suppose]. I can't believe the two of us are here.
*walks off to give orders, a lot of plot, politics, and hero being alpha ensue*
He: Blah blah blah [More plot related stuff about politics, do I watch this for that? No.]
She: So our dream of a quite life here was in vain [no duh, you are a telenovela heroine]
He: We are going to be getting up very very eary every day. And go for long walks every day. [blah blah about trees and prettiness and she replies about a river but I am too busy ogling. Also, he is smoking hot, but I would be getting up very early for no one!]
Anyway, BN is a ridiculously emo period telenovela, set in 1839 and follows our heroine, Anna, who is a talented singer and actress, and is very pretty in a very telenovela (make-up, froofy hair) kinda way. Anna is making quite a stir in St. Petersburg but she has *cue suspense music* a hideous secret. She is *cue suspense music* actually a serf.
Which would ordinarily suck big time (serfs were literally slaves: they could be bought and sold, or lost at cards, couldn't travel or marry without permission etc etc) but the elderly country gentleman who brought her up, treated her as a quasi-daughter, gave her an education, and sent her to act, while hiding her status. But here is where the kdrama element comes in. That elderly gentlman has kicked the bucket, and the new owner is his only son, Baron Vladimir Korf, a haughty young man only a bit older than Anna. A hot-tempered, high-handed young man, Vladimir proclaims his disdain for Anna at the least opportunity.
Never fear, since Vladimir is played by the hottest guy in the drama (IMO), he shall not drag Anna back by the hair and make her till the fields. Instead, he is going to get a lot of artfully-filmed angst, character growth while wearing impeccably cut coats, and fall madly in love with her, thus fulfilling the kdrama quotient of people who are brought up together=true love. Anna should just be thankful he is not her half-brother.
But since if this was the only plot, the drama would be about 20 episodes long and the sponsors would be out of luck, there is a bunch of other things, such as the fact that Anna hates Vladimir's guts now (hasn't she seen Hanadan? That means lurve), a lot of political intrigue, duels, jails and other excuses for young men to look noble. Also, since everyone knows that if you are well-bred and wear period clothes, you are bound to be hot, there are a lot of hot young people running around in various OTP combinations. And of course Anna has another attractive young man fall in love with her (and he is her first choice), Prince Michael Repnin, who is not only outranking Vladimir but is also *cue suspense music* Vladimir's best friend. Thus fulfilling another Korean drama quotient.
There are gypsies, priests, Royal mistresses, swords, rescues from evil kidnappers, and God knows what else. It's cheesy, it has no intellectual value, and I love it. Maybe because I love romantic melodrama, or haughty fictional aristocrats, or shiny things. Naaaah, most likely it's the men.
Here are our leads:
Our heroine Anna is rocking the peasant chic. Circa 1960.
Our hero, Tuxedo Mask. Nah, it's actually angsty Vladimir:
And here are the rest:
Prince Michael Repnin, best friend of our hero and his rival in lurve. We know he is manly because of the gold braid:
Crown Prince Alexandr (future Tsar). Probably is so frowny as he is thinking of how to execute the makers for daring to put him into a romance drama:
Natalya Repnina. Michael's younger sister, she is the Crown Prince's OTP. She gets to know him in order to save self from becoming the Tsar's mistress so I suppose she is into future returns as opposed to present benefits. Ehhh, I kid. They are adorable together, even though shipping them feels like RPF.
Lisa Dolgorukaya. Neighboring noblewoman madly in love with Vladimir (who I guess could always make a living that way, what with all the women after him. He and Anna could be a super swinger couple :P). Since she's known him since childhood, is it a battle of two childhood loves? Do Korean dramas have a rule for such a situation? That is not Stained Glass? Because I don't want quasi-drownings:
Olga. Former freulein to the Empress, I think she is the cause of most of the political intrigue and since it gives us plenty of angst and jailtime for the hunky hero, we got to thank her!
Andrei Dolgorukyi (no idea how to spell it in English). Unforturnately he is engaged to Natalya pictured above, which is a pity as he is cute in his glasses but can't outrank a future Tsar :P
But then he can always console himself with Tatiana, a serf girl really hot for him. Hey, I am sure she cooks better than Natalya:
Nikita, a serf in love with Anna. For what is a telenovela without at least half a dozen men falling over themselves for one over-made-up woman?
Princess Maria, Prince Alexandr's sister. (yavannie77 corrected me and it's his future wife. Oooops). I don't think she has an OTP in this drama, which makes her a rarity:
Father Paul. 'Know the beard, feel the beard, love the beard.'
Polina. Every drama has to have an evil skank, and this is BN's. You can tell so by the renfair outfit and five-dollar-special hair. She is jealous of Anna's success and relatively less blinding wardrobe.
Evil Person Number 1: Maria Dolgorukaya:
Evil Person Number 2: Zabaluyev:
Evil Person Number 3: Shuller:
I am very grateful for the existence of the three, for I crave my angst madly!
And here are some stills. Hmmmm, will my reason for watching this be self-evident from them, I wonder.
Ahem:
'Do you think we wondered into a kdrama by mistake and will have to freeze to death with angsty voice-overs?'
That's actually rather pretty.
What does Fabio have that I don't? And I am the Crown Prince, thank you very much!
'Don't cry! I got you the best tablecloth available!'
In the 19th century, you could tell the serfs apart by the shiny make-up they wore. It made it easier to track them:
I keep expecting Doctor Who to pop out:
Heeeee. 'Am zombie, will eat your braiiiiiiins'
'No. This is what a zombie whould look like.'
'If you won't give Anna to me, can I at least get your horse? I think I might switch to brunettes.'
'I have escaped from Sailor Moon, wheeeee' (No, this will never get old)
I got nothin' except for liking the outfits:
Who doesn't love fictional angsty men in uniforms?
You know what they say about men with long noses (yes, I am 12) :P
Like the costumes:
'We are auditioning for Anna karenina. Even got the outfits!'
Dimples:
I have a giant urge to throw paint at him, this is much too clean!
'For we are ah-tistic'
'I shall squint. Either in angsty concentration or because I am nearsighted'
OK, this reminds me of nothing else as much as the wedding of Liz and Max from Roswell that they would have had if the world didn't change:
I mean, look at Max/Liz:
Oh, and because I would, here is another youtube scene (I think this is fairly late on). She asks him to take her with him:
Click to viewShe: Vladimir!
He: Anna, what happened?
She: You forgot to take me with you. And I am going with you.
He: But how about theater? You can't leave everything.
She: Yes, I can. Don't say a word. You will take me with you, won't you?
*hug* [smart girl, how many chances for noble hotties do you have in this life? Well, being a telenovela heroine, probably a lot].
He: Yes.
(later}
He: Are you tired?
She: how could I be tired? I slept the whole way on your shoulder...My God, how nice it is to be home.
He: It's not a home without you [seriously, it doesn't sound cheesy in Russian, or even particularly a huge thing to say. Hmmm. Russian is a lot more emo language I suppose]. I can't believe the two of us are here.
*walks off to give orders, a lot of plot, politics, and hero being alpha ensue*
He: Blah blah blah [More plot related stuff about politics, do I watch this for that? No.]
She: So our dream of a quite life here was in vain [no duh, you are a telenovela heroine]
He: We are going to be getting up very very eary every day. And go for long walks every day. [blah blah about trees and prettiness and she replies about a river but I am too busy ogling. Also, he is smoking hot, but I would be getting up very early for no one!]