Snow Queen, eps 12-13
I just finished ep 13 of Snow Queen. Can I pretend this is how ends? Pretty please.
It would be perfect.
In ep 12 Bo-Ra finds out Tae-Woong is Tae-Woong. OMG OMG. And all these painful, but quiet scenes follow. My favorite is when he is taking her home and her head is on his shoulder.
And the whole interlude culminates in the scene in the bleachers in his old school. That just kills me. Because he tells her how his friend died (and the both know they are talking about her brother) and how then he met this girl and 'for the first time I wanted to be happy. I wanted to tell her 'you look beautiful when you smile. I love you' and they are sitting side by side and it's all so sad and basically he is saying how they can't be together because it would hurt her. And she starts walking away and OMG OMG he runs after her and hugs her from behind. And his eyes are so anguished and he tells her 'Please hate me' OMG OMG OMG and he tells her he wants her to hate him because that would be easier for her and I just die at how amazingly unselfish he is...how he is willing to destroy himself so she'd have peace of mind. I was crying. And she turns around and says 'Fine, I'll hate you' and runs off. OMG. He was begging her to hate him. And the hug...I love how he was unable to stop from touching her.
And then later he tells Geon-Woo he is OK but he is falling apart, remembering her telling him she'll hate him. It's like he thinks he's unworthy of worry and care (I love how various people point out he lives 'like a sinner') and because he is so focused on her pain, he cannot woory about his.
And speaking of pain? Bo-Ra's Dad. Is a pain. I understand his feelings on finding who Tae-Woong is. I do. But Bo-Ra is right, he is trying to hide his feeling that it really wasn't anyone's fault but Jang-Gyu's that he killed himself. Yes, it was everyone's fault a little: Dad pushed him to study, Mom left, Bo-Ra was sick and not much of a companion and Tae-Woong was more brilliant than him, but ultimately none of these actions were malicious or would have led a normal person to do anything like suicide. And Bo-Ra's Dad wants to blame Tae-Woong because a part of him believes that he himself is responsible for his son's death.
So we get that painful scene in the Chairman's office. When Tae-Woong says he truly loves Bo-Ra. And he is kneeling. And Bo-Ra comes in (she escaped house arrest with Geon-Woo's help) because she is so focused on not having TW hurt. And she basically lays out the above paragraph for her Dad and gets slapped and runs out and TW runs after her, and I love the scene where she confronts him in the lobby telling him, it's not his fault Jang-Gyu died, so why does he act like a sinner and his simple reply breaks my heart: 'I am alive.' Oh. oh OH. He has survivor's guilt. OMG. Poor kid.
And she decides to leave the country because her Dad was pushing TW to leave and she knew TW would feel guilty and leave and she wants to spare him that.
(This is sort of out of order, btw, but I love the scene on bball court (way earlier than any of the above but after the bleachers scene). Where she sees him playing and comes up and is all 'I hate myself because I am so happy to see your face' and asks if he was waiting for her. And OMG OMG. He kneels because she is crying and tells her he promises to not come look for her any more and to forget her. He is sorry that his first promise to her is to forget her, but he'll try his best.' And they walk home, holding hands....*dies*
OK, anyway, back to the stuff after the scene with Dad. I love how Seung-Ri (who seems to be set up to hook up with the salesman friend of TW, yay!) gives him his Christmas present. She leads him to a Church and says to walk in and she'll be in a little later, and he walks into an almost empty church, with a chorus singing. And then a girl walks in and he goes 'Seung-ri' and OMG OMG OMG OMG. It's Bo-Ra. And the way he looks at her makes me cry. He thought he'd never see her again! And he just keeps looking, devouring with eyes, unable to turn away. And they sit like that.
And then they walk out and she says SR said it's SR's Xmas present to her oppa, for them to meet like this, and she wasn't going to come but then she did because it's their first Xmas together, but also their last. And she asks him if he has a present for her but he is still just stunned...And she smiles and says she has two.
And she gets out a box, and there is the flower he gave her that she kept all this time and he told her 'always be happy' and she tells him the same thing.
And then she tells him, it wasn't his fault Jang-Gyu died and she and her father just miss Jang-Gyu that is why they were like that and it's not his fault. And this is so something he needed to hear. I think that is why it's so important Bo-Ra is Jang-Gyu's sister. That is the only way he could get absolution for himself (not that I think he needs it, but he clearly does), to hear something like this from his family, to have JG's sister love him, knowing the entire truth. If Bo-Ra was some random girl he'd be happy with her but there'd still be some guilt somewhere in him.
She tells him about leaving the country and how he shouldn't etc etc. And then she says she has a second gift. And she walks up, close, closer, until she is right against him, and she leans up and kisses him!!!!!!! And di I mention that though she is in really high-heeled boots, she still has to stand on her tiptoes and barely reaches. OMG OMG OMG OMG. That is such a kink of mine!!!!
And then the end of ep 13 is the best thing ever. Because OMG. OMG. OMG. After everything, he went to the amusement park they went to as kids and he paged her about it on her old pager. And of course, it was a bit of fancy, because he didn't even know she still had thr pager and plus she was supposed to be on the plane out of the country. And OMG, he is standing there and thinking 'You left and I am sorry, I didn't even go say good-bye, but if I went, I'd never be able to let you go.' And he says 'I love you.' And then it's like floodgates and he is repeating 'I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you' over and over. And he just spent the whole day at the park. And then it's closing and he is leaving.
And let me say, I just love how SQ shows how it's so hard for him to self-sacrificial, and it shows how much he loves her that even after he's spent years negating himself and his wishes, he can barely control himself himself when it comes to her.
And then then then THEN! As he is leaving...she is there! With her carry-on bag and she didn't get on the plane and she tells him 'idiot, you don't have a cellphone, I had to search the whole park for you' and the look on his face. And they do the whole 'I told you I'll tell you my name when we meet again' and she says 'I am Kim Bo-Ra' and he says 'I am Han Tae-Woong' (and OMG OMG OMG he's accepted his real name and that means he's accepted himself and he can move forward and live his life. I know he did earlier when he wrote his real name on his dissertation but still...this is the first time he's introduced himself that way. Sidenote, I want to mention how much I loved the scene where he taught the grad seminar or had his dissertation submitted. He really loves doing math: it's something he really enjoys. Denying it to himself all these years was a huge sacrifice).
And he tells her if she takes his hand this time he won't ever let go and things will be hard for her (*smacks Bo-Ra's Dad. I understand him, I really do, but still...*) and they are smiling and OMG. OMG! They hold hands.
I am so glad they finally decided to be 'selfish' because they reached the limits of their endurance. And she has grown up and he is at peace and OMG OMG.
I am so tempted to pretend this is how it ends. I don't want to watch the last three ep. Don't want Don't want.
And now I might take a break to watch the first subbed ep of The Devil. Joo Ji-Hoon as evil. In suits. Oh YEAH.
It would be perfect.
In ep 12 Bo-Ra finds out Tae-Woong is Tae-Woong. OMG OMG. And all these painful, but quiet scenes follow. My favorite is when he is taking her home and her head is on his shoulder.
And the whole interlude culminates in the scene in the bleachers in his old school. That just kills me. Because he tells her how his friend died (and the both know they are talking about her brother) and how then he met this girl and 'for the first time I wanted to be happy. I wanted to tell her 'you look beautiful when you smile. I love you' and they are sitting side by side and it's all so sad and basically he is saying how they can't be together because it would hurt her. And she starts walking away and OMG OMG he runs after her and hugs her from behind. And his eyes are so anguished and he tells her 'Please hate me' OMG OMG OMG and he tells her he wants her to hate him because that would be easier for her and I just die at how amazingly unselfish he is...how he is willing to destroy himself so she'd have peace of mind. I was crying. And she turns around and says 'Fine, I'll hate you' and runs off. OMG. He was begging her to hate him. And the hug...I love how he was unable to stop from touching her.
And then later he tells Geon-Woo he is OK but he is falling apart, remembering her telling him she'll hate him. It's like he thinks he's unworthy of worry and care (I love how various people point out he lives 'like a sinner') and because he is so focused on her pain, he cannot woory about his.
And speaking of pain? Bo-Ra's Dad. Is a pain. I understand his feelings on finding who Tae-Woong is. I do. But Bo-Ra is right, he is trying to hide his feeling that it really wasn't anyone's fault but Jang-Gyu's that he killed himself. Yes, it was everyone's fault a little: Dad pushed him to study, Mom left, Bo-Ra was sick and not much of a companion and Tae-Woong was more brilliant than him, but ultimately none of these actions were malicious or would have led a normal person to do anything like suicide. And Bo-Ra's Dad wants to blame Tae-Woong because a part of him believes that he himself is responsible for his son's death.
So we get that painful scene in the Chairman's office. When Tae-Woong says he truly loves Bo-Ra. And he is kneeling. And Bo-Ra comes in (she escaped house arrest with Geon-Woo's help) because she is so focused on not having TW hurt. And she basically lays out the above paragraph for her Dad and gets slapped and runs out and TW runs after her, and I love the scene where she confronts him in the lobby telling him, it's not his fault Jang-Gyu died, so why does he act like a sinner and his simple reply breaks my heart: 'I am alive.' Oh. oh OH. He has survivor's guilt. OMG. Poor kid.
And she decides to leave the country because her Dad was pushing TW to leave and she knew TW would feel guilty and leave and she wants to spare him that.
(This is sort of out of order, btw, but I love the scene on bball court (way earlier than any of the above but after the bleachers scene). Where she sees him playing and comes up and is all 'I hate myself because I am so happy to see your face' and asks if he was waiting for her. And OMG OMG. He kneels because she is crying and tells her he promises to not come look for her any more and to forget her. He is sorry that his first promise to her is to forget her, but he'll try his best.' And they walk home, holding hands....*dies*
OK, anyway, back to the stuff after the scene with Dad. I love how Seung-Ri (who seems to be set up to hook up with the salesman friend of TW, yay!) gives him his Christmas present. She leads him to a Church and says to walk in and she'll be in a little later, and he walks into an almost empty church, with a chorus singing. And then a girl walks in and he goes 'Seung-ri' and OMG OMG OMG OMG. It's Bo-Ra. And the way he looks at her makes me cry. He thought he'd never see her again! And he just keeps looking, devouring with eyes, unable to turn away. And they sit like that.
And then they walk out and she says SR said it's SR's Xmas present to her oppa, for them to meet like this, and she wasn't going to come but then she did because it's their first Xmas together, but also their last. And she asks him if he has a present for her but he is still just stunned...And she smiles and says she has two.
And she gets out a box, and there is the flower he gave her that she kept all this time and he told her 'always be happy' and she tells him the same thing.
And then she tells him, it wasn't his fault Jang-Gyu died and she and her father just miss Jang-Gyu that is why they were like that and it's not his fault. And this is so something he needed to hear. I think that is why it's so important Bo-Ra is Jang-Gyu's sister. That is the only way he could get absolution for himself (not that I think he needs it, but he clearly does), to hear something like this from his family, to have JG's sister love him, knowing the entire truth. If Bo-Ra was some random girl he'd be happy with her but there'd still be some guilt somewhere in him.
She tells him about leaving the country and how he shouldn't etc etc. And then she says she has a second gift. And she walks up, close, closer, until she is right against him, and she leans up and kisses him!!!!!!! And di I mention that though she is in really high-heeled boots, she still has to stand on her tiptoes and barely reaches. OMG OMG OMG OMG. That is such a kink of mine!!!!
And then the end of ep 13 is the best thing ever. Because OMG. OMG. OMG. After everything, he went to the amusement park they went to as kids and he paged her about it on her old pager. And of course, it was a bit of fancy, because he didn't even know she still had thr pager and plus she was supposed to be on the plane out of the country. And OMG, he is standing there and thinking 'You left and I am sorry, I didn't even go say good-bye, but if I went, I'd never be able to let you go.' And he says 'I love you.' And then it's like floodgates and he is repeating 'I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you' over and over. And he just spent the whole day at the park. And then it's closing and he is leaving.
And let me say, I just love how SQ shows how it's so hard for him to self-sacrificial, and it shows how much he loves her that even after he's spent years negating himself and his wishes, he can barely control himself himself when it comes to her.
And then then then THEN! As he is leaving...she is there! With her carry-on bag and she didn't get on the plane and she tells him 'idiot, you don't have a cellphone, I had to search the whole park for you' and the look on his face. And they do the whole 'I told you I'll tell you my name when we meet again' and she says 'I am Kim Bo-Ra' and he says 'I am Han Tae-Woong' (and OMG OMG OMG he's accepted his real name and that means he's accepted himself and he can move forward and live his life. I know he did earlier when he wrote his real name on his dissertation but still...this is the first time he's introduced himself that way. Sidenote, I want to mention how much I loved the scene where he taught the grad seminar or had his dissertation submitted. He really loves doing math: it's something he really enjoys. Denying it to himself all these years was a huge sacrifice).
And he tells her if she takes his hand this time he won't ever let go and things will be hard for her (*smacks Bo-Ra's Dad. I understand him, I really do, but still...*) and they are smiling and OMG. OMG! They hold hands.
I am so glad they finally decided to be 'selfish' because they reached the limits of their endurance. And she has grown up and he is at peace and OMG OMG.
I am so tempted to pretend this is how it ends. I don't want to watch the last three ep. Don't want Don't want.
And now I might take a break to watch the first subbed ep of The Devil. Joo Ji-Hoon as evil. In suits. Oh YEAH.