Summer desire continues to amuse me mightily
I have been reading the Summer Desire translations here and it is such an entertaining bucket of crazy. I mean, here is a sample conversation translated into human speak from emo drama land speak:
Xiamo: Listen, Ou Chen, I know I dumped you 5 years ago telling you to go jump of a cliff, and we haven't been exactly BFFs since, but how about donating a kidney to my little brother?
Ou Chen: No.
Xiamo: Pretty please? With a green ribbon on top?
Ou Chen: I have rehearsed this word for the last 1825 days - nope.
Xiamo: not even if I kneel?
Ou Chen: Unless you have a marriage proposal to go with that kneeling, no. I am going to crush your heart like you crushed mine! It will add to my brooding material.
Xiamo: I'll kiss you, if you give it, come on you got two! I am sure my majorly messed up, trust-issues-having boyfriend won't mind if I make kissy face with his worst enemy.
Ou Chen: Still nope.
Xiamo: OK, fine, I will sleep with you, pig.
Ou Chen: Rich eligible bachelor here, not exactly sexually desperate.
Xiamo: Hey, I've seen the posters you have, with my head cut out and glued to Pamela Anderson's body.
Ou Chen:... That was only for better angsting purposes, I swear!
Xiamo: What do I have to do?
Ou Chen: Willyoumarryme? I just know that marriage with a cold-hearted woman who is in love with another guy and who I have to blackmail into marriage will lead to nuptual bliss.
Xiamo: You do realize that your plan's outcome in any reasonable universe is me marrying you for precisely as long as it takes for the kidney donation to go through and then leaving with the divorce papers and half your fortune? How is that a good plan again?
Ou Chen: Lalalalalalalala I can't hear you!
Xiamo: Oh woe is me, I have to pick between a sexy superstar and an obsessive hot billionaire. My life is tragic. Oh well. Deal.
Xiamo: Listen, Ou Chen, I know I dumped you 5 years ago telling you to go jump of a cliff, and we haven't been exactly BFFs since, but how about donating a kidney to my little brother?
Ou Chen: No.
Xiamo: Pretty please? With a green ribbon on top?
Ou Chen: I have rehearsed this word for the last 1825 days - nope.
Xiamo: not even if I kneel?
Ou Chen: Unless you have a marriage proposal to go with that kneeling, no. I am going to crush your heart like you crushed mine! It will add to my brooding material.
Xiamo: I'll kiss you, if you give it, come on you got two! I am sure my majorly messed up, trust-issues-having boyfriend won't mind if I make kissy face with his worst enemy.
Ou Chen: Still nope.
Xiamo: OK, fine, I will sleep with you, pig.
Ou Chen: Rich eligible bachelor here, not exactly sexually desperate.
Xiamo: Hey, I've seen the posters you have, with my head cut out and glued to Pamela Anderson's body.
Ou Chen:... That was only for better angsting purposes, I swear!
Xiamo: What do I have to do?
Ou Chen: Willyoumarryme? I just know that marriage with a cold-hearted woman who is in love with another guy and who I have to blackmail into marriage will lead to nuptual bliss.
Xiamo: You do realize that your plan's outcome in any reasonable universe is me marrying you for precisely as long as it takes for the kidney donation to go through and then leaving with the divorce papers and half your fortune? How is that a good plan again?
Ou Chen: Lalalalalalalala I can't hear you!
Xiamo: Oh woe is me, I have to pick between a sexy superstar and an obsessive hot billionaire. My life is tragic. Oh well. Deal.