Deeper Concerns...(Worry. Lament. Bitch. Hope.)

[danger_2society]

I'm not sure if I like Clark. It's definitely not a very eye opening experience. I feel like I'm reverting not growing, but actually I know I'm being stretched, just not in ways I was prepared for. If my program is so much shorter, why is it so easy? Did I cop out? Am I unintentionally not living up to my potential? Do I want to include more art in

Comments

[empty_postcard]

NEVER SETTLE, YOU WERE BORN TO LIVE DANGEROUSLY as i am frequently reminded when i am with you and frightened for my life.

whatevs caitlin, i'm here to study fine art and i hate my art history teacher and i've only been able to get my paints out once in three weeks. but art is EVERYWHERE, and self expression should be in EVERYTHING you do.

it makes me sad that losing people in your life makes you so sad, caitlin. not that it shouldn't, but i'd want you to appreciate the time you have with them, instead of dreading the day they have to leave. my dad once told me the price of loving someone is having to say goodbye. so you should love them and love them until you have to say goodbye.

btws, the twins are NOT better, we just have to be understood in our own context, like you. you're dealing with lots of transition phases, and transition is always hard. thats why my roommates insist on fighting/making up with their boyfriends every five seconds and getting detained by the police. D: now THEY are bad at dealing with change.

[danger_2society]

hahaha my life isn't half as dangerous without you to prove my daring to. :)

Self pity and apathy made art seem impossible, but it's not. I've even found its place at culinary school. Which is also dangerous...

It does make me go through waves of huge sadness, but it's truly 90% apprecaition that they were here at all and 10% worry that it'll be gone soon. I'm working on the decline of that 10%. It's funny because the thing you're dad told you is what Aaron used to say. It's even in the song we wrote for him.

The twins are still a little better, not gonna lie. But I will soon rise to your level, you'll see. And you'll feel weird. Maybe...

WHAT is going on with your roommates? Why were they detained by the police??? What a dramatic world you chill in...

[jovialjoe]

I think you should come visit me in Portland.
We should talk about cool stuff.

[danger_2society]

Kendra, seeing you improved my life so much. God I love talking to you. :)

[janellocaramelo]

Caitlin. I feel the same way with a lot of things right now. Like the fact that at VSAA, I was SO involved in EVERYTHING. I look back and wonder how I didn't kill over with the huge amounts of stress that I inflicted upon myself with the crazy amounts of ASB meetings and rehearsals and EVERYTHING. seriously. But then I remember I did all of it out of my love and passion for what I was doing. And I feel like I'm really missing that passion right now. And I wonder how I can get that passion, and I feel like the only real place I can find it is the art school. So, pretty much, I don't even know. And today I was just thinking about how much I miss our classy oh eight. And how we won't ever all be together in the same capacity that we were before again. Like even people that I wasn't too fond of I really miss. Heck, I even miss being a jerk to hattrick. A lot, actually. I guess I just liked how you put it: "I felt so at ease at VSAA and I miss it. I worried, but it seemed less troubling." Yeah. That sums it up. VSAA was

[danger_2society]

I agree with what you said. Especially about the passion. But I'm more confident that we can find that happiness even after a place as wonderful as VSAA and a group as amazing as our class. Also, when I visited, I was even happy to see the people/things I used to complain about. Oh Art School :)

hahaha Peter is certainly doing his own thing... I believe he has a good heart though. He actually helped me alot today!

I love you dear!

[janellocaramelo]

That's good to know that it was happy for you to visit vsaa. I was planning on not visiting any time soon just because I thought it would make me very sad. But after hearing about your experience, I'm rethinking my decision.

And yeah-- Peter does have a good kid inside of him. And he makes really good food!

[ur_hed_a_splode]

i'll play chess with you.
and make amazing art with you.
and fuck peter.

[ur_hed_a_splode]

um, i didn't mean that last part the way it sounded....
i meant it as an afterthought.
not as in, i will fuck peter with you...
this is getting dirty.

[danger_2society]

hahaha ewwwww. Yeah I know what you mean. He probs doesn't even remember being a douche to you. And he'll be much nicer after you go to his show. Hopefully...

But Ellery Jessen, I'm so glad you'll do things with me. It truly warms my heart :) Let's start an arty project okay? Because we both know you and I make the best things of all time. :)

[aishaseventeen]

feel like art schoolers are a breed I shall find no where else even though I desperately search.

this doesn't really have much to do with your post, caitlin, but here's evidence that art schoolers really do exist outside people from vsaa:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D123g8iFxMc

(he's a freshman and my new favorite person. his name is sam and he's an illustrator for the newspaper, plus he comes to EVERY writers colony at my house. and apparently he does this, too.)

hang out with me this weekend! love!

[danger_2society]

hahahah oh man. I could be friends with this kid. I might actually have to visit WallaWalla if people are as cool as that. Besides you, of course, who was already THAT cool... :)

I'm really glad you visited me today, even if it was breif!