I take it no one read my last entry... so why I bother to write this one is beyond me...
So I broke my "non crying" phase. Crying right now actually...
And here I was thinking this would be a good entry.
So things have been better lately I guess. But I don't know whether to be happy or sad about that. It's complicated.
And I'm so afraid that I'm going to get my hopes up... only to be heartbroken again. My heart's been shattered so many times, I don't know if I'll be able to handle it again. I'm tired of hurting but I guess that's what the asshole (aka God to those of you who he likes) put me on the planet for. To suffer for everyone else.
You're welcome.
Why can't I just get what I want just this once. Just once. I need it so badly. And it'll make everything better. Because I don't care about anything else. Once I have that everything else disappears. So why can't I not hurt anymore. Just once is all I ask, just once I want to get my way, I wanna get what I need, what I want.
But I can't change people. I can't change myself. No matter how hard I've been trying. I'm still just Angelina. That's all I can be and I'm sorry that that's not good enough... but I've been trying. So hard. I've never tried harder at anything in my entire life but I guess trying won't get me anywhere. It hasn't so far.
I'd like to know why I have to be the one to go through all the pain and feelings of worthlessness because I'm not good enough. Why couldn't it be someone else? Because the idiot made a huge mistake in thinking that this is what I wanted or that I could handle it. Because I've given up on him and I've given up on hope and I've given up in believing that just maybe my life is crap now because something a million times better is on its way. Because at this point, my life's going nowhere but downhill. There is no up. Nothing will ever be how it should be and no one will ever be how I wish they were.
I don't want to hurt anymore...
but no one'll do anything about that anyways. I've been asking for forever and no one's cared enough to do anything. So I guess I've given up on that too...
There's A Girl I Know...
He Loves Her So...
I'M NOT THAT GIRL.
And here I was thinking this would be a good entry.
So things have been better lately I guess. But I don't know whether to be happy or sad about that. It's complicated.
And I'm so afraid that I'm going to get my hopes up... only to be heartbroken again. My heart's been shattered so many times, I don't know if I'll be able to handle it again. I'm tired of hurting but I guess that's what the asshole (aka God to those of you who he likes) put me on the planet for. To suffer for everyone else.
You're welcome.
Why can't I just get what I want just this once. Just once. I need it so badly. And it'll make everything better. Because I don't care about anything else. Once I have that everything else disappears. So why can't I not hurt anymore. Just once is all I ask, just once I want to get my way, I wanna get what I need, what I want.
But I can't change people. I can't change myself. No matter how hard I've been trying. I'm still just Angelina. That's all I can be and I'm sorry that that's not good enough... but I've been trying. So hard. I've never tried harder at anything in my entire life but I guess trying won't get me anywhere. It hasn't so far.
I'd like to know why I have to be the one to go through all the pain and feelings of worthlessness because I'm not good enough. Why couldn't it be someone else? Because the idiot made a huge mistake in thinking that this is what I wanted or that I could handle it. Because I've given up on him and I've given up on hope and I've given up in believing that just maybe my life is crap now because something a million times better is on its way. Because at this point, my life's going nowhere but downhill. There is no up. Nothing will ever be how it should be and no one will ever be how I wish they were.
I don't want to hurt anymore...
but no one'll do anything about that anyways. I've been asking for forever and no one's cared enough to do anything. So I guess I've given up on that too...
There's A Girl I Know...
He Loves Her So...
I'M NOT THAT GIRL.