(no subject)
I have never felt like this before. I have never felt so consistently tired and drained, nor so confused and directionless. I'm off to the doctor tomorrow morning who I envisage will tell me I'm just stressed or that I have a cold or something, but I've never had a cold that last three or so weeks and left me devoid of both my somewhat ravenous appetite and my bouts of extreme hyper activity. In short I am concerned.
My boss who I had gladly awaited returning following his three honeymoon- during which time I was doing both of our jobs- has now been diagnosed with glandular fever. He was back in the office for 1.5 days before he went home and hasn't come back since. Glandular fever, in the experience of several people I have lived with or counted as friends for many years lasts months. Sigh. This means that at present our office is five people understaffed and the day of press briefings myself, Dev and my director were sposed to be setting up and managing this Wednesday is now entirely my problem. This, at a time when I'm questioning my choice of direction into PR, is not condusive to solid, efficient work. I also got a somewhat lousy payrise this week which I found kind of insulting, but hey- only another twelve months to wait for another one.
I'm wondering if my tiredness is like psychosomatic or something- whether its just me being tired of doing the same thing for (comparitively) so long, without obtaining any of the dreams or ambitions I started out with. I think I lack a real goal in work or, more specifically, I think my mamangers keep moving teh goal posts.
Maybe its my itchy feet, gagging to move on having been in the same career for two years, the same house for almost as long and the same city with such a small circle of friends- many of whom I rarely see these days for some reason.
Things are also getting a little complicated with a couple of those friends as well and, without going into too much, or in fact any, detail, this is not helping with the current state of my head.
Taking a step back from all this, I'm very lucky, no one I know is in pain and life is treating me well. I guess it's all just down to perspective and, as Sheryl Crow once said, it's about 'not getting what you want, but wanting what you have'. I just wish I knew what I had sometimes. Or what I want for that matter.
My boss who I had gladly awaited returning following his three honeymoon- during which time I was doing both of our jobs- has now been diagnosed with glandular fever. He was back in the office for 1.5 days before he went home and hasn't come back since. Glandular fever, in the experience of several people I have lived with or counted as friends for many years lasts months. Sigh. This means that at present our office is five people understaffed and the day of press briefings myself, Dev and my director were sposed to be setting up and managing this Wednesday is now entirely my problem. This, at a time when I'm questioning my choice of direction into PR, is not condusive to solid, efficient work. I also got a somewhat lousy payrise this week which I found kind of insulting, but hey- only another twelve months to wait for another one.
I'm wondering if my tiredness is like psychosomatic or something- whether its just me being tired of doing the same thing for (comparitively) so long, without obtaining any of the dreams or ambitions I started out with. I think I lack a real goal in work or, more specifically, I think my mamangers keep moving teh goal posts.
Maybe its my itchy feet, gagging to move on having been in the same career for two years, the same house for almost as long and the same city with such a small circle of friends- many of whom I rarely see these days for some reason.
Things are also getting a little complicated with a couple of those friends as well and, without going into too much, or in fact any, detail, this is not helping with the current state of my head.
Taking a step back from all this, I'm very lucky, no one I know is in pain and life is treating me well. I guess it's all just down to perspective and, as Sheryl Crow once said, it's about 'not getting what you want, but wanting what you have'. I just wish I knew what I had sometimes. Or what I want for that matter.