An Open Letter
Dear Pretentious Bitch:
Thank you for choosing Comfort Suites for your stay. As noted when the room was reserved, check in time is 3pm. I've noticed that someone else made the reservation for you. As a guest, it is your responsibility to learn what the check in and check out times are. If you are in need of an early check in, we suggest that you contact the front desk the morning of arrival to ensure that an early check in is indeed possible for your circumstances.
When a group blocks off rooms, as in the case of this wedding you are attending, all we do is set aside those rooms and apply a special rate. We are not responsible nor are we aware of times, locations, and other special information. You are to call either the bride or the groom, as they are the ones who can answer your questions. Additionally, we do not grant early check in for any guest at any time, but most especially for groups. At any given time we can have a full hotel or an empty one. This particular travel season has been a roller coaster in the number of guests that choose stay with us.
The point of this letter is to remind you to never assume anything. Always call and ask before hand. It is also advisable that you do not get snotty with the front desk clerk when there is not a clean room available. My hotel is full and my housekeepers are not superwomen. The head housekeeper will bring me a list when the rooms are ready and have been checked. As soon as a room is ready, then I will be able to check you in.
If you cause my staff any problems during your stay, I'll gladly have the Merrillville Police Department send their finest to escort you from the premises. We wish you luck in finding another hotel as the Salvation Army, who pumps nearly $1.5 million dollars into the local economy, has staked their claim this weekend.
Please go fuck yourself.
Sincerely yours,
Front Desk Supervisor