Pay me or shoot me, its your choice.

[daneal_jee]

From the corner of my eye I saw my face reflected, and you know, it looked a lot like yours did. And it makes me wonder…. What where you thinking when you did it? Were your thoughts anything like mine? Were you scared? Or excited, I know I would be happy, thinking about it makes me happy…. Mine that is, not yours… don’t know why you would be happy about someone elses… but thinking about it makes me happy. Its the one moment you can be in control of your life… have some direction, what did you think would happen after? Did you care? Did you want to back out? How do you think people would react? I know I can’t ask you this but why? I think I already know, and you were so convinced to, I never could understand it back then, but I’m coming to…… but still the look on your face reminded me of my reflection…… I never thought about you much, but now I do.

I love the rain and how it feels on my skin… to bad I hate the feel of damp cloth and cold… comfort zone? Yes… sigh.

I thought I had out run these feelings, but still they ensue…… I though I had left them behind…. It has been a while…. I used to smile when I thought of it, then I stopped… something else stole my smile….. now its coming back, and when I think of it I smile……. I want to get drunk…. Im talking Hendrix style, choke on your own vomit drunk… pull knifes on your own friends and family drunk, November 11th drunk…. But I know it wont solve anything, If I wake up the next day, the same old things will be there, just worse.