[Fanfic: Reaction]
Title: Reaction
Pairing: Junhyung/Yoseob
Fandom: Beast
Genre: AU, Romance, Angst
Rating: PG
WC: 1260
A/N: Idea based on that HK drama, Mysteries of Love, which was based on the Japanese series Galileo. That "since when did it become an equation" line stuck with me months after I watched the drama. Again, pardon the subpar writing, it's been a while since I wrote English sentences that isn't science-related.
“When, since when did it become…” Junhyung could barely make out the words, syllables mixed between hysterical sobs. “When did it become an equation…”
“When two people fall in love, there’s this chemical inside the body, phenethylamine, that gets secreted and the feelings just start there. That’s how people start liking each other.” Junhyung recited confidently on their first date. Yoseob only laughed politely and continued glazing his eyes down the menu.
Cringing and stepping further and further away from the other boy, he shook his head, desperately trying to find an explanation, something to answer the silence. The sobbing didn’t help, and normally Junhyung would have been able to work around that, his professors and supervisors all commenting that Junhyung works superbly under pressure, that he would be able to pull through even when the odds were stacked against him.
“My friend told me that seeing the one you love in tears is the most heartbreaking thing.”
“Well, then you better not make me cry.” Yoseob did this adorable whimper as he tugged at Junhyung’s collar.
“You have to remind me though…”
“Jerk.”
Fuck. Not when it was Yoseob breaking down in front of him.
It was no use. His whole mind was blank. Nothing would come together; none of the pieces would fit. He tried pushing away the murky thoughts inside his mind, frantically trying to retrieve those memories with Yoseob.
They weren’t the typical couple you’d expect, disregarding the fact that they’re both guys. Junhyung was rational, factual, almost cold, doing a double major in human biology and kinesiology. Yoseob was jolly, happy-go-lucky, carefree and almost too trusting. Junhyung still believes that’s how most music majors are like.
Yoseob looked at him with sparkling eyes, tears brimming and threatening to carve another stream down his cheek. Junhyung tried harder, praying that things would just work and he’d be able to figure out the puzzle.
“Hyung, how do you know… if you like someone…”
Doojoon almost spat out his beer while he reached for a napkin, dabbing the corner of his mouth.
Junhyung sat on the edge of his barstool, patiently waiting for advice from one of his closer hyungs, not even realizing that Doojoon was laughing at him.
“You, Yong Junhyung, the guy who’s dense as a rock and emotionless as plastic, like someone?” Doojoon made some cooing noise and Junhyung slapped him on the arm, glaring at him seriously.
“Yon-”Junhyung cringed when Yoseob made a small wheeze, unspoken words clogged inside his throat as the younger boy erupted into a coughing fit, and Junhyung could do nothing but look at him quietly, torn at whether or not he should step in and do something, anything.
He couldn’t, the steel bar grinding against his spine, the curl of his fingers tightening the grip on the cold cylindrical railing. The familiarity of the metal jolted the nerve cells on his skin, like the equipment during their dissection labs at the university. He could almost smell the sanitizing liquid and the lingering rubber on his hands. The metal soon began warming up to his touch, opening up to the familiarity of his fingerprints embedded on the polished surface.
“I’m sorry…”
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t. Just leave me alone.”
“Junhyung-ah…”
"How many times have I told you to not touch my papers, seriously, it’s so annoying.”
“I was just trying to help you clean up your desk, a-and then the coffee spilled, and… they’re just papers, right?”
“Just, go out.”
“Our relationship isn’t because of some, phenyl thing, it’s not supposed to be about me and you and that phenol…” Yoseob was sobbing again, less erratic but equally, if not more, severe as he leaned against one of the benches for support. “It’s not, just tell me it’s not.”
“It’s not.”
“Yeah, okay whatever.” Yoseob placed his arms on Junhyung’s shoulders, tipping his toes so he could actually see the dotted playing field.
“It’s seriously not just luck…” Junhyung muttered under his breath when a bratty teenager snorted at his success.
Junhyung was equally surprised that university physics courses would come in handy at carnival games designed for little kids and romantic couples.
Leaning back and casually twisting the ball, giving it just enough spin and angle to graze the dotted field until it rolled around and settled on another colored tile. Yoseob grinned, latching onto his shoulders tightly.
Tipping his head in acknowledgement when the worker handed him another stuffed animal, Junhyung traded up his arsenal of prizes and held out the oversized otter, pushing it towards Yoseob shyly.
“I know, I’m sorry…” He couldn’t do it, not when Yoseob was crying and broken, Junhyung was never good at dealing with people, let alone when they were crying. Breathing became difficult, the air paralyzing and sticky like during one of the practice operations. “I… I gotta go…”
Junhyung chewed the inside of his mouth thoughtfully after he read the text message before he reached out and grabbed Yoseob’s shoulder.
“Hey, I gotta go… something came up and I should go back to the university…”
“It’s a Saturday, and you promised that we would watch that movie…”
“I know, I know, but, I don’t want to lose my mentor position…”
“Yeah, okay, I’ll call you later then, I guess.”
“Text. You know I’m not even supposed to use electronics when I’m inside the lab.”
Without turning back, Junhyung walked away, the guilt lurching at his heart because he knew he would regret this decision, regret taking the easy way out because he simply didn’t know how to deal with things. He felt a sharp sting at his eyes, tears flowing freely down his cheek when the aftershocks of realization hit him.
“Y-Yoseob-ah, I really like you…” Junhyung finally gathered enough courage to tell the other boy, after he had locked in his confirmations that the feelings might be mutual.
Yoseob’s smile was more than worth the trauma and made up for all the lost sleep Junhyung went through while he dragged on the internal debate about his feelings.
“Took you long enough.” Yoseob whispered against his shoulder, and before Junhyung could retaliate his defense, Yoseob pinched the back of his neck, “Yeah, I know, you’re not good with these feeling things, you told me before.”
He knows that it’s not just some chemical inside his body that’s responsible for these feelings, he knows that neurotransmitters and signal sequences didn’t matter, it was about Yoseob and himself. There was more between them, more than just chemicals triggering responses, more than just science and the functioning human body.
“Junhyung-ah, do you still remember how we met?” Junhyung felt Yoseob’s hand tighten inside his pocket as they strode down the boardwalk, hearing nothing but the crashing waves against the bedrock.
Junhyung cringed, vaguely remembering the little tips Doojoon gives him here and there, because he really has no experience in relationships whatsoever. Specific dates, places where they met, the little things the other person likes. He can do it, just treat it like it was a practical exam, nothing overly difficult.
“Um, no…” Yeah, that answer would definitely land him a zero.
“Yah, Junhyung…” Yoseob removed his hand from his pocket, pouting like the child at heart.
“Do you believe in destiny?” Yoseob blinked in a way that almost made Junhyung want to reach out and pat his head.
“Didn’t you take those courses on philosophy?” Junhyung mocked a cough, “Maybe I should ask, do you even pay attention in class?”
Yoseob pouted, punched him on the cheek and waited for his answer.
“There’s no such thing as destiny.”