[It just Hurts]
Title: It just Hurts
Pairing: EunHae, implied Hae x someone
Genre: Romance, Angst
Rating: PG
Summary: It just hurts when things you don't want to hear comes from the person you love. Salt on the wound? He still loves me in that friend way.
A/N: To akihikaru , but this won't be the last piece. Yeah, I'll write more Haehyuk, they're not a bad couple to write, tbh. I was trying a new writing style, but I think my interior monologue failed and it got clunky and confusing. Well, yeah. Enjoy? Comments are appreciated <3.
OH. My very FIRST EUNHAE FIC EVER. Like, a EUNHAE-centric fic. I'm so proud of myself *teary eyes*
I even told him I liked him. I mean, can I even say it in a more direct way. Donghae, I sorta liked you ever since I first met you. Can I be more obvious? Really?
Yeah okay, I said it while filming the drama with Leeteukie and Kangin hyung, but that doesn’t take away the meaning of it. I really like him.
Okay, maybe it does. Maybe he thought it was a joke.
But it wasn’t a joke. It was never a joke, these feelings inside of me. They’re real, right?
You even denied it yourself immediately. Why are you confusing yourself.
I’m not. I still like him. I love him.
That’s not what you said to him.
But… I love him. Isn’t that enough?
Silence.
Maybe it isn’t…
~//~
Hae, do you like anyone?
How did you know? Hyukkie, you’re amazing.
You just seem different lately. Whenever you’re dancing, you just seem different, like you have something else on your mind.
But I don’t. I really don’t.
Hae, stop lying.
I’m not. Okay, well I am. But I can’t tell anyone about this.
Why not?
Because I told myself I wouldn’t tell anyone, and I promised that person I wouldn’t tell anyone.
So, you’re not going to tell me?
Hyukkie, you know I want to tell you, but I just can’t.
Okay, I understand. Let’s practice again.
No, Hyukkie don’t be mad at me. It’s just not the right time yet.
I understand. Hae, I really do.
Hyukkie-ah.
What is it?
I still love you. Want to get ice cream later?
Okay.
~//~
I still love you.
That hurt. Since when did love have so many connotations?
Isn’t love just loving the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Isn’t love just love?
It really hurts. Because I know his meaning of love is different from mine.
It hurts, because I already know who the other person is. He already told me, bouncing and flailing at their official relationship. I didn’t want to believe it; I wanted you to deny it.
You did the exact opposite. You indirectly confirmed everything, and you were happy in doing so.
I should be happy for you, because you are happy. He will take good care of you, I know he will. I’ve known him for a very long time. If I can’t be there for you, at least I know he will be there for you.
But it just hurts, you know. It just hurts knowing that I won’t be the one beside you, holding your hands, whispering and cuddling. It just hurts knowing I won’t be the one beside you.
And one way or another, the naïve side of me tells me that this is all a drama, a fairytale with a predestined happy ending, and finally we will be together, happy and holding hands.
It won’t happen. It just hurts because I know I'm lying to myself.