[Outlooks]
Title: Outlooks
Pairing: Kangin x Sungmin; implied Sungmin x other
Rating: G (mild swearing)
Genre: Angst, Romance
Summary: Kangin tries to face Sungmin again, and it hurts because it won't be the same.
A/N: Record time. Finished in ~8mins. Yeah, so don't expect much. I just needed to get this out before I study again. Sorry to aki for having to listen to me whine and complain and bitch about nothing. <3 comments are <3.
Random: I realized Kangmin is probably the only couple I can write freely, because... I look too much into their relationship?
I face the dusk with empty bottles and scrunched up cans, all tossed aside onto the beige carpet. You would have yelled at me, muttering about cleanliness and sanitary issues, grumbling about this pig dump that I called my apartment. I didn’t care, because I knew you would be here to clean up with me. You thought you were here to clean up after me, but never did that cross my mind. You were here with me, in my heart.
I face the past with a regretful mind. You shunned me away, not realizing that what I show on camera is all a mask, nothing but a second layer hiding my true persona. You thought I meant everything I said when I teased you about your femininity. I know how much of an issue that frustrates you, because that femininity is also a mask, a mask that you’ve been trying to shed.
I face the dawn with sleepless, blood-shot eyes, hoping to garner a little, just a little bit, of concern from you. Sungmin-ah. I love you, and no one can ever challenge that premise. I know I am a hypocrite, ignoring you and being cold in one moment and the next, I cling onto you and we’re nearly inseparable. I see the irritation in your eyes, storming and incinerating inside your dark, alluring eyes, as if you’re telling me to make up my fucking mind.
I face you with a broken heart. I just wish that you would realize that I love you. All those times where I clung onto you on stage, pinching your cheeks and holding your hand. Those soft whispers and little touches all carry a fraction of what I have to tell you, and I was foolish enough to hope that the little things will accumulate, and you would finally realize how much I cared for you.
I face him with a bitter aftertaste. You picked him because he told you his feelings, straight up and direct. I saw you hesitate, and you looked over at me. You nodded at his declaration, your eyes never trailing away from mine. I saw you cry, and I know you saw me shed tears. We were crying for one another, and there was nothing we can do.
We faced the future together. Because we were still holding onto our masks in front of our band members, never did we once let go of that fact. I still had to tease him, loud and impulsive, and he had to pretend to be feminine, endearing and warm. No one saw the soft side of Kangin, only Sungmin. No one saw the cold side of Sungmin, except for Kangin.