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I am an emotional bag-full-of-cats right now.
I was having a really good day, and then this.
I took a final recently for one of my subjects; a final that's worth 40% of my mark. Ridiculous, right? Not fair, right? Totally messed up, right? Yeah. That's what I said, too.
Anyway, the results came out tonight, so I logged into the ministry site to check my marks and... well, let me just say this: I FLIPPING HATE TESTS.
God, they make me so angry. I'm one of those people that just sucks at tests, no matter what they do. And this class? English. How do you get a bad mark in English? I don't know. But I've done it. I had a high final mark, and the test brought me down 7%! Seven goddamn percent! I can't deal with that shit! Now, I have a hardly respectable grade. I mean, it's fine, it's above the average that I need, but it's so close to the cut off that I want to go shoot myself in the brain. This is so depressing. I'm going to start crying.
Because, believe me when I say this, I studied my freaking ass off for this test; I slaved my soul away for this test. And in class, I don't do badly. So why the flipping flipper did I do so badly on the test?!
Ugh. This makes me want to hurt myself.
And if I tell anyone, they're going to say, "Of COURSE you did badly!" Admittedly, I was in the middle of serious back spasms that weren't allowing me to breathe properly and any movement whatsoever sent me into fits of horrible pain. But still. I know I could have done better. And I'm so friggin pissed at myself for not doing better.
Am I too hard on myself? Maybe. Am I unjustified? No. Not at all.
Oh, this makes me so MAD!
So now I get to sit here and decide whether or not I want to put myself through Hell again and rewrite that stinking test, or live with the just-barely-above-what-I-want mark.
I will go cry. Or ply people who did better than me for chocolate.
I was having a really good day, and then this.
I took a final recently for one of my subjects; a final that's worth 40% of my mark. Ridiculous, right? Not fair, right? Totally messed up, right? Yeah. That's what I said, too.
Anyway, the results came out tonight, so I logged into the ministry site to check my marks and... well, let me just say this: I FLIPPING HATE TESTS.
God, they make me so angry. I'm one of those people that just sucks at tests, no matter what they do. And this class? English. How do you get a bad mark in English? I don't know. But I've done it. I had a high final mark, and the test brought me down 7%! Seven goddamn percent! I can't deal with that shit! Now, I have a hardly respectable grade. I mean, it's fine, it's above the average that I need, but it's so close to the cut off that I want to go shoot myself in the brain. This is so depressing. I'm going to start crying.
Because, believe me when I say this, I studied my freaking ass off for this test; I slaved my soul away for this test. And in class, I don't do badly. So why the flipping flipper did I do so badly on the test?!
Ugh. This makes me want to hurt myself.
And if I tell anyone, they're going to say, "Of COURSE you did badly!" Admittedly, I was in the middle of serious back spasms that weren't allowing me to breathe properly and any movement whatsoever sent me into fits of horrible pain. But still. I know I could have done better. And I'm so friggin pissed at myself for not doing better.
Am I too hard on myself? Maybe. Am I unjustified? No. Not at all.
Oh, this makes me so MAD!
So now I get to sit here and decide whether or not I want to put myself through Hell again and rewrite that stinking test, or live with the just-barely-above-what-I-want mark.
I will go cry. Or ply people who did better than me for chocolate.