HELP ME PLEASE
can anyone lend me a gun so i can kill myself? my life is shattering beneath me, my boyfriend hates me, my best of friends are moving away, my other friends don't give a damn about me, at home it feels like the only one who matters to my parents is andy,i have no way to get out of the house, i have no where to run, i have few people i trust to turn to and the one person i always go to won't talk to me. this day started off great and turned out to be the worst day i've ever had.i've never been an emotional wreck like that before and i've never snapped like that before. i just want my life back to the way it was a few months ago when i was perfectly happy and always had a smile on my face. i've spent the majority of my day today crying and that never happens to me and i don't like it. whats the point in continueing a life i can't stand. it takes a lot to make me unhappy and to make me cry takes alot more and to make me flat out depressed takes pure cruelty and torture and to be completely honest right now you can easily say i'm extremely depressed. my only saving grace thus far was elaine who stood by me even though i was being a total bitch and a total basket case. thank you elaine i can't say it enough and i just wish you could be right here next to me cuz i really need sumone. i'm shaking and i can barely see cuz i'm bawling so damn hard. i just need to to see a friendly face i just want a hug, but i feel so alone in this world and i feel as though elaine and amy and sadrine are the only ones that really seem to care. i've already gone though a whole box of issues how sad is that. its already 2 in the morning and i'm normally totally tired or asleep by now but right now i can't even imagine sleeping. i honestly thought i was doing better earlyier but when i came home to hear the 10 minute long message on the answering machine i was thrown back onto a whirl wind of tears and emotions. i wish i could back time and never do anything but sit in my room then maybe life wouldn't be so terrible. t not a happy person right now i feel like i've lost all control on what happens to me and like i've fallen into the bottomless pit of heartache and sorrow. i have no appetite and food just sounds disgusting to me right now even though i can hear i stomach nawing on itself. people told me life was going to get harder but no one could've prepared me for this no matter what, its just not possible. some one please help me god please just help me through this help me get my life back on track, hold me and tell me everything will be ok just sumthing anything would be better then where i'm at now.