[Skins] Uncertainty.
Title: Uncertainty
Characters/Pairings: Effy/Freddie, Effy/Cook
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: language.
Summary: Effy wonders about stuff. And she's not a keen wonderer.
Spoilers: season 3 finale.
Disclaimer: don't own Skins, though it would be nice to.
Author's note: COMMENTS ARE LOVE. SPREAD THE LOVE. (pretty please?) & enjoy :D
x-posted to
skinsfic &
freffy
UNCERTAINTY
- dew m. prewett
Effy is not sure. Not sure about anything. She thinks things can always get worse, and people will always let you down, and when everything starts shifting to somehow not-so-bad, then you’re missing something. She’s not a pessimist, she’s a realist.
But when Freddie is there, with his shiny eyes and stupid smile, a tiny voice inside her whispers nothing really matters. What things are like, and what people turn out to be in the end, and what things will be like tomorrow.
Freddie kisses her and doesn’t fuck her. He makes love to her.
Effy thinks she’ll be okay as long as Freddie is there.
And fuck everything else.
*
Sometimes she thinks of Cook. Her mind just wonders, when Freddie has fallen asleep after great sex and cigarettes are long burned out. Effy is not keen on thinking, she’s better at acting. But it is late at night, she’s got a warm body holding her and she can tolerate this stuff.
Cook, always playing hard, self-destructive by nature. Cook, who thought he just fucked because he wasn’t allowed to make love.
(She remembers, how he muttered filthy words by her ear; his tongue licking her bottom lip, then her throat, then her clavicles and every little section of skin his hands had previously discovered).
Effy shivers and stops her train of thought there.
Freddie lets out a sigh in dreams.
*
She dreams that night. She looks at her reflection in a mirror and she doesn’t recognise what she sees there. She is staring at a blank-faced woman, skinny and pretty, who used to be a hell of a wild child. The arch-nemesis of love, loving and being loved.
She doesn’t dress like a slut anymore, the scary amounts of eyeliner she used to wear are now reduced to anecdote, pills and spliff are just something blurred in her memory. Freddie has a job and they have a place together. And she is pregnant.
Effy wakes up shaking and wakes up Freddie, who wraps his arms around her, completely unaware of what’s happening.
‘Freddie’ she whispers.
‘Huh?’
‘Promise something’
‘What?’
‘Don’t let this get out of control’
‘f’course’
He goes back to sleep quickly, but she can’t, so she does what she knows will help. She gets out of bed in just a shirt, lights a cigarette and smokes it silently, taking swigs of whatever bottle they had bought in between drags.
Her mind wanders off to her friends. Future. Uni. That sort of complicated stuff she is so not keen on. She feels good times are falling far away and she can’t keep her mind from wondering.
Freddie wakes up to the emptiness and coldness she’s left in the bed.
‘Effy… come back here’ he calls her.
She does as he says, goes back to her place on the mattress.
‘I’m always afraid that you leave’ he mutters, half-asleep.
Effy curls up against him.
‘I won’t’ she whispers in response.
She’s not sure she can promise it. But she has a warm body holding her tonight, which prevents her from thinking about it.
Characters/Pairings: Effy/Freddie, Effy/Cook
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: language.
Summary: Effy wonders about stuff. And she's not a keen wonderer.
Spoilers: season 3 finale.
Disclaimer: don't own Skins, though it would be nice to.
Author's note: COMMENTS ARE LOVE. SPREAD THE LOVE. (pretty please?) & enjoy :D
x-posted to
skinsfic &
freffy
UNCERTAINTY
- dew m. prewett
Effy is not sure. Not sure about anything. She thinks things can always get worse, and people will always let you down, and when everything starts shifting to somehow not-so-bad, then you’re missing something. She’s not a pessimist, she’s a realist.
But when Freddie is there, with his shiny eyes and stupid smile, a tiny voice inside her whispers nothing really matters. What things are like, and what people turn out to be in the end, and what things will be like tomorrow.
Freddie kisses her and doesn’t fuck her. He makes love to her.
Effy thinks she’ll be okay as long as Freddie is there.
And fuck everything else.
*
Sometimes she thinks of Cook. Her mind just wonders, when Freddie has fallen asleep after great sex and cigarettes are long burned out. Effy is not keen on thinking, she’s better at acting. But it is late at night, she’s got a warm body holding her and she can tolerate this stuff.
Cook, always playing hard, self-destructive by nature. Cook, who thought he just fucked because he wasn’t allowed to make love.
(She remembers, how he muttered filthy words by her ear; his tongue licking her bottom lip, then her throat, then her clavicles and every little section of skin his hands had previously discovered).
Effy shivers and stops her train of thought there.
Freddie lets out a sigh in dreams.
*
She dreams that night. She looks at her reflection in a mirror and she doesn’t recognise what she sees there. She is staring at a blank-faced woman, skinny and pretty, who used to be a hell of a wild child. The arch-nemesis of love, loving and being loved.
She doesn’t dress like a slut anymore, the scary amounts of eyeliner she used to wear are now reduced to anecdote, pills and spliff are just something blurred in her memory. Freddie has a job and they have a place together. And she is pregnant.
Effy wakes up shaking and wakes up Freddie, who wraps his arms around her, completely unaware of what’s happening.
‘Freddie’ she whispers.
‘Huh?’
‘Promise something’
‘What?’
‘Don’t let this get out of control’
‘f’course’
He goes back to sleep quickly, but she can’t, so she does what she knows will help. She gets out of bed in just a shirt, lights a cigarette and smokes it silently, taking swigs of whatever bottle they had bought in between drags.
Her mind wanders off to her friends. Future. Uni. That sort of complicated stuff she is so not keen on. She feels good times are falling far away and she can’t keep her mind from wondering.
Freddie wakes up to the emptiness and coldness she’s left in the bed.
‘Effy… come back here’ he calls her.
She does as he says, goes back to her place on the mattress.
‘I’m always afraid that you leave’ he mutters, half-asleep.
Effy curls up against him.
‘I won’t’ she whispers in response.
She’s not sure she can promise it. But she has a warm body holding her tonight, which prevents her from thinking about it.