ahh.
This is going to be a whole bunch of gibberish probably. I am just trying to sort my life out.
Something is up lately. And I cannot put my finger on it. Somethings wrong with me. I haven't been myself and I cannot figure out why. I mean it could be a lot of things. Considering more of my life has changed in the past year than ever in my life. But I don't have any idea what it is. I feel lost. Very lost. I have no idea where I want to go in life. I feel like such a failure at college. Granted I only know three of my grades, but two out of three are bad. Lately I have been thinking about being a guidance counselor. Regardless of what I am going to do, I want to help people. I want to change the world.
Besides school though I don't know why I'd be upset. I mean I live with one of my best friends, two other ones just got into town, and I am constantly meeting new people. Like tonight could have been awesome. Should have been awesome. Hanging out with all of my favorites. No offense Lauren, if you read this, I am not saying I had a bad time. I just feel awkward. That is the only word I can think to describe my feelings right now and lately. Awkward. I feel like I don't know where I stand, don't know what to do, or how to act. Lately who I am is not who I want to be. and I don't like that. I also have been starting to feel lonely. It's been a long time since I've been lonely. I have been abnormally content since like July. Honestly, and happily content. But not lately. Is it so bad that I don't want to just jump into bed with somebody. That I want to have a guy like me for me, not just the physical.
Don't get me wrong. I still love life. I'm still me. I'm just very confused. I hope things turn back around soon.
I am so glad you're home L. :]
Something is up lately. And I cannot put my finger on it. Somethings wrong with me. I haven't been myself and I cannot figure out why. I mean it could be a lot of things. Considering more of my life has changed in the past year than ever in my life. But I don't have any idea what it is. I feel lost. Very lost. I have no idea where I want to go in life. I feel like such a failure at college. Granted I only know three of my grades, but two out of three are bad. Lately I have been thinking about being a guidance counselor. Regardless of what I am going to do, I want to help people. I want to change the world.
Besides school though I don't know why I'd be upset. I mean I live with one of my best friends, two other ones just got into town, and I am constantly meeting new people. Like tonight could have been awesome. Should have been awesome. Hanging out with all of my favorites. No offense Lauren, if you read this, I am not saying I had a bad time. I just feel awkward. That is the only word I can think to describe my feelings right now and lately. Awkward. I feel like I don't know where I stand, don't know what to do, or how to act. Lately who I am is not who I want to be. and I don't like that. I also have been starting to feel lonely. It's been a long time since I've been lonely. I have been abnormally content since like July. Honestly, and happily content. But not lately. Is it so bad that I don't want to just jump into bed with somebody. That I want to have a guy like me for me, not just the physical.
Don't get me wrong. I still love life. I'm still me. I'm just very confused. I hope things turn back around soon.
I am so glad you're home L. :]