tomorrow.
tomorrow i'm chopping off all my hair.
all of it.
i'm sick of having my hair long for the guys in my life that have said "ohhh don't cut your hair, i like it long."
fuck that. I want short hair.
and you know what? the guy I want to be with will like me with my short hair.
driving up to the woo tomorrow. i'm a little nervous.
that was really stupid. I just stared at "i'm a little nervous", and the blinking cursor and thought why. and it all goes back to my fear of going back to school fat. Or flying back home fat. Or seeing anyone for the first time in months fat.
But yeah, how stupid is it.
oh gosh, you know what would fuck me up? matt saying the "have you lost weight?" i do not need that. that could be a bad trigger.
eating has been so good, i can't afford a trigger.
at the same time, if he doesn't say it, it'll be a trigger too.
whatever, matt does not deserve to have that much impact on my well-being.
but even if my feelings for him are fading. ugh that's so much of why i'm nervous.
all of it.
i'm sick of having my hair long for the guys in my life that have said "ohhh don't cut your hair, i like it long."
fuck that. I want short hair.
and you know what? the guy I want to be with will like me with my short hair.
driving up to the woo tomorrow. i'm a little nervous.
that was really stupid. I just stared at "i'm a little nervous", and the blinking cursor and thought why. and it all goes back to my fear of going back to school fat. Or flying back home fat. Or seeing anyone for the first time in months fat.
But yeah, how stupid is it.
oh gosh, you know what would fuck me up? matt saying the "have you lost weight?" i do not need that. that could be a bad trigger.
eating has been so good, i can't afford a trigger.
at the same time, if he doesn't say it, it'll be a trigger too.
whatever, matt does not deserve to have that much impact on my well-being.
but even if my feelings for him are fading. ugh that's so much of why i'm nervous.