Thank God Its Friday!
Iam so so glad that it is Friday, I feel like this week totally creeped by! Even though its Friday, my weekend will be just as hectic as everyday. I have a bunch of things to do tomarrow and on Sunday I have choir practice at 9 am, sunday school at 10, church at 11, dance from 3-5. Ugh, I feel like this will never end.
I had yet another revelation last night. I cried for like an hr when I thought of this. I complain about ROTC all the time. But ROTC is my life, it has been my life for 4 years, and you cant explain the way this feels to anyone who hasnt experienced ROTC, and experienced it whole heartedly. ROTC is my life, and without it I dont know who I am. It is what I have lived and breathed for 4 years. I am scared, to be point blank. I am gonna be so lost and Im not gonna know what to do with myself. May 14th is gonna be a very emotionally challenging day for me, this is one time Im thankful Im not CO, I could not do that damn goodbye speech and I know it, I dont think anyone would understand a word I said under my sobs. So... this is my tribute, the tribute nobody in ROTC will ever read but here it goes.
THANK YOU for making me the person that Iam today. The position doesnt make the person, the person makes the position. You will only get what you give from this unit. If you put nothing out, you will recieve absolutly nothing in return. I know a lot of people say to do it better than they did, but I cannot bring myself to say that. I gave my heart to this unit, what more can you expect of anyone? So instead I will say, LOVE the unit the way I did, without LOVE, nothing will be accomplished. You have to love what you are doing and the thing you are working for. Nobody will understand you in ROTC, especially if you are in a very high position of leadership, get used to feeling alone, your senior year (esepecially if you are CO/XO) you are gonna feel very lonley.... youre working for things and wanting to accomplish things that other people just wont see the point in. You cannot do everybodys job for them, Ive learned that, for a while I thought I could make people care too (that wont happen) they wont do the work until THEY decide that they want to. Until then you will hear excuse after excuse (things they think are reasons). Think about what you are doing before you do it.... few things are worse than the feeling of regreat. I will never ever forget the way I felt towards this unit when my dad passed away. When they say that ROTC creates a family atmosphere, it is so right. I can never explain to anyone the way it felt to have however many (I think it was like 20- 25) ROTC cadets standing outside, in the pouring rain on the day of that funeral. When the casket was carried out and everyone went to hand salute, I have NEVER EVER felt so much pride in all my life, I was SO PROUD. Thank you for all you have meant to me, you have meant everything. So, I have a few more months and then.... I will have to learn to say goodbye.
I think thats enough insight for tonight. I need to go take a shower so I'll be out whenever Dean calls me (wink*).
Love Always
ME!
P.S. My momma bought me a new outfit today and The Notebook DVD, wasnt that sweet? It was a surprise when I got home! The Notebook is the sweetest love story in the world. I cried and cried and cried... I want to fall in love like that one day, If I can ever have a love like the one in that movie or have a man love me that way, I dont see how I could ever ask God for anything more.... Its just incredible.
I had yet another revelation last night. I cried for like an hr when I thought of this. I complain about ROTC all the time. But ROTC is my life, it has been my life for 4 years, and you cant explain the way this feels to anyone who hasnt experienced ROTC, and experienced it whole heartedly. ROTC is my life, and without it I dont know who I am. It is what I have lived and breathed for 4 years. I am scared, to be point blank. I am gonna be so lost and Im not gonna know what to do with myself. May 14th is gonna be a very emotionally challenging day for me, this is one time Im thankful Im not CO, I could not do that damn goodbye speech and I know it, I dont think anyone would understand a word I said under my sobs. So... this is my tribute, the tribute nobody in ROTC will ever read but here it goes.
THANK YOU for making me the person that Iam today. The position doesnt make the person, the person makes the position. You will only get what you give from this unit. If you put nothing out, you will recieve absolutly nothing in return. I know a lot of people say to do it better than they did, but I cannot bring myself to say that. I gave my heart to this unit, what more can you expect of anyone? So instead I will say, LOVE the unit the way I did, without LOVE, nothing will be accomplished. You have to love what you are doing and the thing you are working for. Nobody will understand you in ROTC, especially if you are in a very high position of leadership, get used to feeling alone, your senior year (esepecially if you are CO/XO) you are gonna feel very lonley.... youre working for things and wanting to accomplish things that other people just wont see the point in. You cannot do everybodys job for them, Ive learned that, for a while I thought I could make people care too (that wont happen) they wont do the work until THEY decide that they want to. Until then you will hear excuse after excuse (things they think are reasons). Think about what you are doing before you do it.... few things are worse than the feeling of regreat. I will never ever forget the way I felt towards this unit when my dad passed away. When they say that ROTC creates a family atmosphere, it is so right. I can never explain to anyone the way it felt to have however many (I think it was like 20- 25) ROTC cadets standing outside, in the pouring rain on the day of that funeral. When the casket was carried out and everyone went to hand salute, I have NEVER EVER felt so much pride in all my life, I was SO PROUD. Thank you for all you have meant to me, you have meant everything. So, I have a few more months and then.... I will have to learn to say goodbye.
I think thats enough insight for tonight. I need to go take a shower so I'll be out whenever Dean calls me (wink*).
Love Always
ME!
P.S. My momma bought me a new outfit today and The Notebook DVD, wasnt that sweet? It was a surprise when I got home! The Notebook is the sweetest love story in the world. I cried and cried and cried... I want to fall in love like that one day, If I can ever have a love like the one in that movie or have a man love me that way, I dont see how I could ever ask God for anything more.... Its just incredible.