(no subject)
things have been really bad.
i don't remember ever feeling this abandoned or neglected and right now i just don't know what to do. all i know is what i used to do in highschool, and i'm trying so hard not to fall into that again. i constantly want to go out and meet new people. new people that make me forget for just a few hours. it's like drug. i just need that temporary fix, but i already know how the night is going to end up.
i've been sitting on this stool for the past 5 hours and my back is killing me. i feel like it's going to break any second now. also, there is a parade outside my work right now. it's the yearly let's get excited about CU's football game against our rival CSU. over it. i feel like i'm still stuck in san marino and it's whole spirit mentality.
i just don't give a shit.
"let's go CU" wampwamp.
i honestly wish i liked it here. then why don't you move back to california? you might be asking that. #1. i don't have the heart to face my mother. #2. i feel like i'm going to be stronger if i stick it out just for a few more years. #3. i just don't quit.
but the pros outweigh the cons. it's killing me that bernard can't be here to hold me.
i really don't know how long i can do this. i know i've been through this already for a year, but for some reason, i don't remember it hurting this much.
i don't remember ever feeling this abandoned or neglected and right now i just don't know what to do. all i know is what i used to do in highschool, and i'm trying so hard not to fall into that again. i constantly want to go out and meet new people. new people that make me forget for just a few hours. it's like drug. i just need that temporary fix, but i already know how the night is going to end up.
i've been sitting on this stool for the past 5 hours and my back is killing me. i feel like it's going to break any second now. also, there is a parade outside my work right now. it's the yearly let's get excited about CU's football game against our rival CSU. over it. i feel like i'm still stuck in san marino and it's whole spirit mentality.
i just don't give a shit.
"let's go CU" wampwamp.
i honestly wish i liked it here. then why don't you move back to california? you might be asking that. #1. i don't have the heart to face my mother. #2. i feel like i'm going to be stronger if i stick it out just for a few more years. #3. i just don't quit.
but the pros outweigh the cons. it's killing me that bernard can't be here to hold me.
i really don't know how long i can do this. i know i've been through this already for a year, but for some reason, i don't remember it hurting this much.