i told him i love him..
yesterday, I talked to shawn, i told him I had unanswered questions and things that I needed to get out. He listened, told me the position he was in, and I told him that I love him. Not that he didn't already know that, but I needed to tell him once more because it's truely how I feel. Shawn has always been in my heart, But never before to this extent. I see him in everything I do, and everything I do makes me think of him. For crying out loud, i'm watching sponge bob, which, i've never been fond of. TJ is looking for him. Everytime someone tries to get him to say "dada" he looks over at the chair where shawn would sit all the time. TJ knows shawn is gone, and I can see what it's doing to him. I feel like there is more to the story of him and I and why things didn't work, I just wished that I knew it. I wish I knew why one fight ruined everything. I'm not sure if it goes back to his past or not. I'm just glad he knows that I'm truely sorry for my behavior when we broke up, and that He's always in my heart. If you manage to find your way to this page, you know that I really am sorry. I'm sorry that the perfect relationship we had, ended. I'm sorry that your not here anymore, But i'm excited that your traveling now. I'm looking forward to the stories about your trips and what you saw. Maybe, one day, we can take one of those trips together. Even if it is only as friends, because I'm starting to see what you love so much about being on the road. It took a late night drive to figure it out.