[fic] No words - Jin's POV
Title: No words
Pairing: AKAME
Genre: Romance, Drama, Fluff ...
Rating: NC - 17
Summary: How lucky I am to have known someone it was so hard saying goodbye too
Disclaimer: This time, I wrote this from Jin's point of view.
Warning: sex, homosexuality, pain, confusing story, no beta
A/N: At some point I couldn't make the difference between Jin and me...
Kame's POV here: http://danalovesakame.livejournal.com/8607.html
Mornings are the worst...
Sleeping has become a moment when I forget that you are not here with me, when I can be with you in my dreams, where all my hopes create a dream that I have over and over again.
A dream of you and me...
But in the morning, as I open my eyes I live again the disappointment of lost dreams.
Is that what I got left from you? An illusion?
No, you were here, I felt you, I had you... But even so, all I got left now is your memory and a dream.
A dream of a road, a road of two...
A road that ended...
I got a little far from it.
A little but enough to get lost. But even so, the road is still there. I, with no doubt, am the same. You haven't changed either.
But we did...
We both are on the on opposite edges of the road. I can't see you anymore.
I think it is possible that you have went on ahead and that I reminded behind.
I linger here for a while. Another morning will take you away from me, just as so many times before... But this time for good. This is not a dream that would vanish when I open my eyes, this is real, you are real and I must let you go...
But when you're gone, you're even more present...
I have a bitter taste in my mouth...
I look outside through the window and I see myself in that picture... It's raining and it's quiet. Every thing it's gray, had lost it's color, just as my life...
That bitter taste...
I know it, it's the taste of losing... Of losing the one I love the most in this world. The taste of being unable to change this, no matter how much I want to... I've lost you so many times before, but never for real, never for good... This broken road we walked on for so long that ended so sudden.
This broken road, our broken dreams...
You...
I watch you with half opened eyes.
The beautiful you that caught my breath away with every move you make.
You are sleeping here, right beside me, covered in a white sheet, with an exposed shoulder. You look like an angel...
I circle my hand around your waist and bring you close once more. You smile in your sleep and I kiss your exposed shoulder softly. You sleep so peaceful in my arms...
How beautiful you are...
It's been said that the best beauty comes from the worst pain...
I hurt you and yet, I love you the most...
No one will ever love you this way... Because nobody knows how bad it is to lose you...
Not like me...
You...
You open your eyes slowly and look at me, smiling. You place a hand on my cheek and pull me close for a kiss. I close my eyes and I let myself carried away by the sensation.
The taste of your lips so sweet and addicting. I want to taste them as long as possible.
You play with my mouth, taste it with slow moves. I hold your chin and bring you closer to deepen the kiss.
You open your mouth slowly, receiving my tongue into your mouth and start sucking it gently.
I title my head and I am on top of you again.
Am I hurting you again? Am I that selfish, to the point where I start hurting you by wanting you so badly?
Please let me have you one last time... If I am hurting you, then let me hurt you one last time...
But please, don't let anyone else hurt you this way...
None of us move and our eyes lock. We don't say a word but our hearts talk with each other.
You circle your hands around my neck and bring me close in a tight embrace. I hold you too and we stay like this for a while.
I feel something wet touching my shoulder. Are you crying?
I pull back from your embrace to face you. I see traces of tears on your cheeks. I lean down and kiss your eyes and when I watch you again you are already smiling. You rise your hand again and reach my lips, caressing them with your thumb.
You bring me down and lock our lips again in a slow kiss. Your hands travel on my back, bringing me down until my body is fully pressed on yours.
I lower my body a little and find my way back into you. Your warm body that makes me want it even more, the more I have it. As I slide in you slowly, you stick your nails into my back and I groan at the sensation.
I push in as I kiss your neck, bite your ears and suck your lips. I cover you with kisses and you arch your body and tighten yourself around my member.
I moan on your skin and my breath makes you shiver. I stop for a while and let you calm down and as your body relax under me I start going deeper, slower... Enjoying every second of intimacy we have together, tasting every inch of your body.
You moan softly and I reach your half opened mouth again. I cover yours with mine in a slow kiss and I hear you moan again over my lips and soon I feel you came shivering under me. I follow you soon, cumming deep inside of you.
I stood there on top of you until I felt you falling asleep with me still inside of you. You must be tired after all the things I did to you... I slowly pull out of you and you hiss. It sure still hurts you a little when I move in or out of you...
And I hate myself for making you feel that.
As I detach myself from you, you slowly open your eyes.
Gomene...
You smile and turn around inviting me to hold you from behind... You're buying time too...
I hold you in my arms and you cuddle closer.
For the last time...
~.~
I had this dream so many times before and now it's here, ready to vanish, just like the other ones...
But what we had was not a dream... Was as real as we both are. I held you close, I made you mine...
If we can't belong to each other then how can you be mine? And how can I be yours?
You are mine, forever!
Consuming...
Maybe there are people who still don't understand, that you can not play with fire without getting burned.
But I knew it!
No, not unaware, it was a choice, but that was a choice that can not be explained...
All we have is this, these moments left... To help us carry on alone...
This is so unfair... Why it must be like this?
I'd fight the whole world just for you... But this fight against them would hurt you even more than us being apart would...
It's us against the world in a war that we cannot win.
What we had tonight was a victory against our fears, but not against them. They must never know... Cause they'll never understand us...
Kazuya...
~.~
No words...
Is it necessary to use words when your heart screams of love? They knew they didn't and they kept silent...
Years have passed and only their hearts have talked, saying words that mouths were never allowed to verbalize..
Let's meet up more matured... Perhaps love makes us old when we're still young and young when the youth has passed..
Some stories are like this... Full of pain, sorrow, longing, but above them all, full of love. Still, love conquers it all...
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails...
~.~
Today we finally meet...
Kame was standing away, watching the big dressed-in-black crowd leaving. He was also wearing black suite, his face covered with big black glasses.
Just one person stood behind. He got closer to the woman and when she heard the leaves move under Kame's feet she turned around to face him.
He didn't face her, he looked at the grave stone in front of him. His eyes wet as he read "Akanishi Jin" on it...
Why, Jin?... Why?
"Have you known him?" The woman asked and Kame looked at her and nodded.
"He... He was my best friend once..." he said in a small voice.
"Thank you for being here..." She stood quiet and turned his eyes to watch the grave in front of them.
"I..." Kame begun but he lost his words as he heard the leaves moving under the steps of someone else.
"Mammy, let's go home..." A little boy came next to her and Kame's eyes widen. He looked just like little Jin. "When is dad coming home, mammy...?"
"Your dad left for a while, Kazuya... But someday, we will meet him again..." Kame stopped breathing as he heard her saying Kazuya.
"Ka... Kazuya...?" Kame asked with trebling voice and the little boy watched him surprised as he heard his name voiced by the stranger. "He named him Kazuya?" He felt his feet unable to support his weight.
"Yes... Jin's precious one..." She said looking down. "His last word was Kazuya... I wished it was me, though..." He sadly smiled.
Kame felt tears rolling down his cheeks and the women watched him.
"Mammy, let's..." but the little boy stopped as he saw Kame kneeling in front of him.
He didn't move, somehow the stranger didn't scare him.
"Kazuya..." Kame said and he hugged the little one. The child let him do it and as Kame released him he heard his mother's voice calling him.
"Let's go baby, it's getting cold." He nodded as the woman looked back once more at the grave and then at Kame who was still on his knees.
"He loved you, Kazuya. Till his last breath."
Kame couldn't move, nor couldn't talk... He watched them leaving and in a while he stood up with shaking legs.
He reached the white stone in front of him and touched it slowly.
"We've met again through him, Jin..." Kame pressed his forehead on the cold stone in front of him. "But we'll keep the promise we made." He rised his pinky up for few seconds "Remember?"
We'll be together in the end...
Wind started blowing strongly through the trees around him and Kame looked up.
"I'll follow, Jin..." He slowly stepped over the grave and lied down on the big stone that covered it.
Tears started falling from his eyes again as he felt a raindrop rolling down on his cheek.
"I'll soon be with you... Forever..."
He's voice was weak and his eyes lashes felt heavy. The wind started blowing stronger and he felt his body frozen little by little.
Today... We meet again... Jin...
~.~
We both lived carrying a wound that could never be healed...
Not time, not distance, not even people could ever heal it...
I am ok, I am sure we will meet again... Until now, no matter what, we've met again...
Heaven, hell, no matter where, I'll follow you...
Now that I think about it, you and I, we both lived with wounds that scared... Then with scars which were never healed.
We both tried to bare the weigh of each other's suffering...
We kept on smiling and people known us like this, like two destinies that at some point crossed but then followed different paths...
They weren't that wrong though, we went on different paths, but our destinies kept us bend together.
Our kizuna...
Sakura flowers are beautiful when they blossom, but they are more beautiful when they fall... right?
We were like this... We blossom and now we fall...
What happened in the past is like a dream.
A dream that one day will disappear.
One day, you will show me a sincere smile...
One day...
I am sure.
We couldn't change, the way we lived our lives...
I know it... I knew it from the start...
But...
If life can't be changed, then death changes everything...
The scars from our broken heats disappeared at last...
Thank you for everything...
Adieu... Kazuya...
- End -
*runs to hide*
I am so sorry, everyone...
I'll never write fictions again, I suck.
I always make them confusing and sad...
At some point I made myself cry as writing it.
Anyway, thank you for reading this one too.
AKAME FOREVER!
Pairing: AKAME
Genre: Romance, Drama, Fluff ...
Rating: NC - 17
Summary: How lucky I am to have known someone it was so hard saying goodbye too
Disclaimer: This time, I wrote this from Jin's point of view.
Warning: sex, homosexuality, pain, confusing story, no beta
A/N: At some point I couldn't make the difference between Jin and me...
Kame's POV here: http://danalovesakame.livejournal.com/8607.html
Mornings are the worst...
Sleeping has become a moment when I forget that you are not here with me, when I can be with you in my dreams, where all my hopes create a dream that I have over and over again.
A dream of you and me...
But in the morning, as I open my eyes I live again the disappointment of lost dreams.
Is that what I got left from you? An illusion?
No, you were here, I felt you, I had you... But even so, all I got left now is your memory and a dream.
A dream of a road, a road of two...
A road that ended...
I got a little far from it.
A little but enough to get lost. But even so, the road is still there. I, with no doubt, am the same. You haven't changed either.
But we did...
We both are on the on opposite edges of the road. I can't see you anymore.
I think it is possible that you have went on ahead and that I reminded behind.
I linger here for a while. Another morning will take you away from me, just as so many times before... But this time for good. This is not a dream that would vanish when I open my eyes, this is real, you are real and I must let you go...
But when you're gone, you're even more present...
I have a bitter taste in my mouth...
I look outside through the window and I see myself in that picture... It's raining and it's quiet. Every thing it's gray, had lost it's color, just as my life...
That bitter taste...
I know it, it's the taste of losing... Of losing the one I love the most in this world. The taste of being unable to change this, no matter how much I want to... I've lost you so many times before, but never for real, never for good... This broken road we walked on for so long that ended so sudden.
This broken road, our broken dreams...
You...
I watch you with half opened eyes.
The beautiful you that caught my breath away with every move you make.
You are sleeping here, right beside me, covered in a white sheet, with an exposed shoulder. You look like an angel...
I circle my hand around your waist and bring you close once more. You smile in your sleep and I kiss your exposed shoulder softly. You sleep so peaceful in my arms...
How beautiful you are...
It's been said that the best beauty comes from the worst pain...
I hurt you and yet, I love you the most...
No one will ever love you this way... Because nobody knows how bad it is to lose you...
Not like me...
You...
You open your eyes slowly and look at me, smiling. You place a hand on my cheek and pull me close for a kiss. I close my eyes and I let myself carried away by the sensation.
The taste of your lips so sweet and addicting. I want to taste them as long as possible.
You play with my mouth, taste it with slow moves. I hold your chin and bring you closer to deepen the kiss.
You open your mouth slowly, receiving my tongue into your mouth and start sucking it gently.
I title my head and I am on top of you again.
Am I hurting you again? Am I that selfish, to the point where I start hurting you by wanting you so badly?
Please let me have you one last time... If I am hurting you, then let me hurt you one last time...
But please, don't let anyone else hurt you this way...
None of us move and our eyes lock. We don't say a word but our hearts talk with each other.
You circle your hands around my neck and bring me close in a tight embrace. I hold you too and we stay like this for a while.
I feel something wet touching my shoulder. Are you crying?
I pull back from your embrace to face you. I see traces of tears on your cheeks. I lean down and kiss your eyes and when I watch you again you are already smiling. You rise your hand again and reach my lips, caressing them with your thumb.
You bring me down and lock our lips again in a slow kiss. Your hands travel on my back, bringing me down until my body is fully pressed on yours.
I lower my body a little and find my way back into you. Your warm body that makes me want it even more, the more I have it. As I slide in you slowly, you stick your nails into my back and I groan at the sensation.
I push in as I kiss your neck, bite your ears and suck your lips. I cover you with kisses and you arch your body and tighten yourself around my member.
I moan on your skin and my breath makes you shiver. I stop for a while and let you calm down and as your body relax under me I start going deeper, slower... Enjoying every second of intimacy we have together, tasting every inch of your body.
You moan softly and I reach your half opened mouth again. I cover yours with mine in a slow kiss and I hear you moan again over my lips and soon I feel you came shivering under me. I follow you soon, cumming deep inside of you.
I stood there on top of you until I felt you falling asleep with me still inside of you. You must be tired after all the things I did to you... I slowly pull out of you and you hiss. It sure still hurts you a little when I move in or out of you...
And I hate myself for making you feel that.
As I detach myself from you, you slowly open your eyes.
Gomene...
You smile and turn around inviting me to hold you from behind... You're buying time too...
I hold you in my arms and you cuddle closer.
For the last time...
~.~
I had this dream so many times before and now it's here, ready to vanish, just like the other ones...
But what we had was not a dream... Was as real as we both are. I held you close, I made you mine...
If we can't belong to each other then how can you be mine? And how can I be yours?
You are mine, forever!
Consuming...
Maybe there are people who still don't understand, that you can not play with fire without getting burned.
But I knew it!
No, not unaware, it was a choice, but that was a choice that can not be explained...
All we have is this, these moments left... To help us carry on alone...
This is so unfair... Why it must be like this?
I'd fight the whole world just for you... But this fight against them would hurt you even more than us being apart would...
It's us against the world in a war that we cannot win.
What we had tonight was a victory against our fears, but not against them. They must never know... Cause they'll never understand us...
Kazuya...
~.~
No words...
Is it necessary to use words when your heart screams of love? They knew they didn't and they kept silent...
Years have passed and only their hearts have talked, saying words that mouths were never allowed to verbalize..
Let's meet up more matured... Perhaps love makes us old when we're still young and young when the youth has passed..
Some stories are like this... Full of pain, sorrow, longing, but above them all, full of love. Still, love conquers it all...
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails...
~.~
Today we finally meet...
Kame was standing away, watching the big dressed-in-black crowd leaving. He was also wearing black suite, his face covered with big black glasses.
Just one person stood behind. He got closer to the woman and when she heard the leaves move under Kame's feet she turned around to face him.
He didn't face her, he looked at the grave stone in front of him. His eyes wet as he read "Akanishi Jin" on it...
Why, Jin?... Why?
"Have you known him?" The woman asked and Kame looked at her and nodded.
"He... He was my best friend once..." he said in a small voice.
"Thank you for being here..." She stood quiet and turned his eyes to watch the grave in front of them.
"I..." Kame begun but he lost his words as he heard the leaves moving under the steps of someone else.
"Mammy, let's go home..." A little boy came next to her and Kame's eyes widen. He looked just like little Jin. "When is dad coming home, mammy...?"
"Your dad left for a while, Kazuya... But someday, we will meet him again..." Kame stopped breathing as he heard her saying Kazuya.
"Ka... Kazuya...?" Kame asked with trebling voice and the little boy watched him surprised as he heard his name voiced by the stranger. "He named him Kazuya?" He felt his feet unable to support his weight.
"Yes... Jin's precious one..." She said looking down. "His last word was Kazuya... I wished it was me, though..." He sadly smiled.
Kame felt tears rolling down his cheeks and the women watched him.
"Mammy, let's..." but the little boy stopped as he saw Kame kneeling in front of him.
He didn't move, somehow the stranger didn't scare him.
"Kazuya..." Kame said and he hugged the little one. The child let him do it and as Kame released him he heard his mother's voice calling him.
"Let's go baby, it's getting cold." He nodded as the woman looked back once more at the grave and then at Kame who was still on his knees.
"He loved you, Kazuya. Till his last breath."
Kame couldn't move, nor couldn't talk... He watched them leaving and in a while he stood up with shaking legs.
He reached the white stone in front of him and touched it slowly.
"We've met again through him, Jin..." Kame pressed his forehead on the cold stone in front of him. "But we'll keep the promise we made." He rised his pinky up for few seconds "Remember?"
We'll be together in the end...
Wind started blowing strongly through the trees around him and Kame looked up.
"I'll follow, Jin..." He slowly stepped over the grave and lied down on the big stone that covered it.
Tears started falling from his eyes again as he felt a raindrop rolling down on his cheek.
"I'll soon be with you... Forever..."
He's voice was weak and his eyes lashes felt heavy. The wind started blowing stronger and he felt his body frozen little by little.
Today... We meet again... Jin...
~.~
We both lived carrying a wound that could never be healed...
Not time, not distance, not even people could ever heal it...
I am ok, I am sure we will meet again... Until now, no matter what, we've met again...
Heaven, hell, no matter where, I'll follow you...
Now that I think about it, you and I, we both lived with wounds that scared... Then with scars which were never healed.
We both tried to bare the weigh of each other's suffering...
We kept on smiling and people known us like this, like two destinies that at some point crossed but then followed different paths...
They weren't that wrong though, we went on different paths, but our destinies kept us bend together.
Our kizuna...
Sakura flowers are beautiful when they blossom, but they are more beautiful when they fall... right?
We were like this... We blossom and now we fall...
What happened in the past is like a dream.
A dream that one day will disappear.
One day, you will show me a sincere smile...
One day...
I am sure.
We couldn't change, the way we lived our lives...
I know it... I knew it from the start...
But...
If life can't be changed, then death changes everything...
The scars from our broken heats disappeared at last...
Thank you for everything...
Adieu... Kazuya...
- End -
*runs to hide*
I am so sorry, everyone...
I'll never write fictions again, I suck.
I always make them confusing and sad...
At some point I made myself cry as writing it.
Anyway, thank you for reading this one too.
AKAME FOREVER!