A quick check in...
How is everyone doing? I know if you're in the U.S., it's starting to feel like the end of the world, and people are just generally more stressed, angry and unstable all around (or at least they are here in my neck of the woods). I've been focusing on some of the more dysfunctional local politics, but I feel like I might be doing so as a distraction, because the orange menace in charge is just too terrifying for me to even thing about without getting sick to my stomach. One of my daughters friends is getting gender-affirming surgery this week, then immediately leaving the country before he takes over, because they no longer feel safe in our country as a trans person. Our family isn't there yet, but I get it. I really do.
The holidays are coming, which are always incredibly busy for me, but usually in a good way. We're not as financially bad off as last year, so at least there's that pressure off my mind for getting gifts for the kids - but then, there's my father and his life situation, which is even harder to manage with all my other responsibilites. Plus I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a LITTLE nervous about my heart ablation surgery coming up in a month or so, but once it's all done, I know I'll feel better having done it.
I saw what is probably one of the tackiest holiday romance movies ever on Netflix, and I may have to watch that garbage thing, just out of morbid (yet vaguely jolly) curiosity. "Hot Frosty", if I am interpreting the preview correctly, is about a single woman that throws her scarf on a snowman, which magically turns him into a living shirtless hot guy, with no clue of how to be human. But it's ok...she can FIX that, right? Hoo boy, this is going to be all kinds of problematic, but I'm down for it. Oh, and our oven is finally fixed, so I think I'm baking something good to go along with the movie. Making a night of it, while the hubs hides upstairs (he's allergic to romance movies).
Monday next week is going to bite hard. I'm driving up the night before to my father's city, so I can take him to his doctor in the morning and explain to them that he's no longer going to be able to afford his cancer meds. I'm bringing bank statements and other info to try and apply programs that may help pay for alternative treatment, rather than just default straight to hospice, but bottom line is, it's going to be a hard fact to face for my dad.
What's worse is his memory is getting so much worse, so it's likely I'll have to keep explaining what's happening to him, over and over again, since he won't be able to retain it. That's what's really hellish to me. When grandma got this way and kept asking about her daughter or husband (both of which were dead), we just stopped telling her they were gone, because it was cruel to make her grieve that all over again. Trying to look up some options for group therapy/support groups for adult children taking care of their parents with dementia, in hopes of getting a better idea of how to handle that, going forward.
Anyway, back to more positive news. Etsy shop is back up for the holiday season, new things to post there, and I've got a big group of folks going with me to Karaoke night this Saturday. Planning on a duet of Neverending Story with a friend, then a solo of Soundgarden's "Fell on Black Days" just to vent, and if I make it past the point where my co-workers leave, maybe "Coin Operated Boy" by the Dresden Dolls (I don't want anyone at work videotaping me singing a bittersweet love song to a vibrator, after all). Oh, and our teddy bear drive is going CRAZY with donations - we have so many bears right now, that are going to give so many kids comfort this year.
It's acts of kindness like that I hope to get me through this difficult stretch, and ultimately make the world a little more bearable. Get it? Bear-able? Ok, I'm leaving now. G'night.
The holidays are coming, which are always incredibly busy for me, but usually in a good way. We're not as financially bad off as last year, so at least there's that pressure off my mind for getting gifts for the kids - but then, there's my father and his life situation, which is even harder to manage with all my other responsibilites. Plus I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a LITTLE nervous about my heart ablation surgery coming up in a month or so, but once it's all done, I know I'll feel better having done it.
I saw what is probably one of the tackiest holiday romance movies ever on Netflix, and I may have to watch that garbage thing, just out of morbid (yet vaguely jolly) curiosity. "Hot Frosty", if I am interpreting the preview correctly, is about a single woman that throws her scarf on a snowman, which magically turns him into a living shirtless hot guy, with no clue of how to be human. But it's ok...she can FIX that, right? Hoo boy, this is going to be all kinds of problematic, but I'm down for it. Oh, and our oven is finally fixed, so I think I'm baking something good to go along with the movie. Making a night of it, while the hubs hides upstairs (he's allergic to romance movies).
Monday next week is going to bite hard. I'm driving up the night before to my father's city, so I can take him to his doctor in the morning and explain to them that he's no longer going to be able to afford his cancer meds. I'm bringing bank statements and other info to try and apply programs that may help pay for alternative treatment, rather than just default straight to hospice, but bottom line is, it's going to be a hard fact to face for my dad.
What's worse is his memory is getting so much worse, so it's likely I'll have to keep explaining what's happening to him, over and over again, since he won't be able to retain it. That's what's really hellish to me. When grandma got this way and kept asking about her daughter or husband (both of which were dead), we just stopped telling her they were gone, because it was cruel to make her grieve that all over again. Trying to look up some options for group therapy/support groups for adult children taking care of their parents with dementia, in hopes of getting a better idea of how to handle that, going forward.
Anyway, back to more positive news. Etsy shop is back up for the holiday season, new things to post there, and I've got a big group of folks going with me to Karaoke night this Saturday. Planning on a duet of Neverending Story with a friend, then a solo of Soundgarden's "Fell on Black Days" just to vent, and if I make it past the point where my co-workers leave, maybe "Coin Operated Boy" by the Dresden Dolls (I don't want anyone at work videotaping me singing a bittersweet love song to a vibrator, after all). Oh, and our teddy bear drive is going CRAZY with donations - we have so many bears right now, that are going to give so many kids comfort this year.
It's acts of kindness like that I hope to get me through this difficult stretch, and ultimately make the world a little more bearable. Get it? Bear-able? Ok, I'm leaving now. G'night.