"I've got a lot of living to do"
18...
18 days until i am 16
i dont know why i am thinking about it so much, i have had 15 birthdays before, but something about 16. it rings in my ears like a bell. Sweet 16, its all i have thought about for a while. its just one day, but how come i think that its like a life change. i have changed i have changed SO much this year. not exactly in bad ways but i have changed. i have changed physically and mentally. physically i have gained more weight and mentally, i have been crazier. i am a teenager, i dont listen to my parents and i want to be a rebel so bad. i always though of myself as someone that got along with my parenst even when i was a teen, but it got to me. i mean yes we do get along sometimes but yeah its different everything they do it seems to piss me off. i geuss it is normal...hey at least i havent run away in a while. lol i was talking to my darling KC and i cant beleive we are almost 1/2 way done with HS!! that is mad crazy. i remember when i thought about HS when i was little. i remmeber thinking i would be bff with everyone i was still friends with, "friendship never ends" apparently it does but its ok one friendship ends and a new one begins... its not that i hate everyone i used to be friends with i love them to death just its sad sometimes to think about how we used to be friends and now we barely talk. w/e i just think i remember thinking i would have the perfect bf and we would get married i would have the perfect little life in TW and everyone would be happy and i would have the same friends, kinda amazing dream yet kinda a nightmare...if this were true i would never have gotten half the things i go through. life would be too easy. i know i complain more then the next person about how life is hard, but thats why i wake up every morning for a new day, i attempt the impossible and try to make life perfect, its like a game. its just like survivor, its hard but it is worth the effort and it is fun. ok making No sense whatsoever.
"I no doubt deserve my enemies, but i do not believe i deserve my friends"
found this quote and i was thinking about it and it is so true. i can be a bitch man. i mean sometimes i dont mean to and it comes out and i am sorry i really try to not make people mad but sometimes i crack. as KC says i am the biggest crackhead she knows that isnt actually on crack. but truthfully i do deserve everyone to hate me and i dont deserve the friends i have. they are the best friends anyone could ever have. i am so lucky that they arent my enemies. i really dont know what i would do without them. i mean noana is always here for me. i love them SO much. L3+1 you guys are like freakin family to me. i dont know how you put up with my drama and wierd ass character. i can barely stand myself sometimes. i just want to say thanks for always being here for me. i really love you guys to the max!!
mucho mucho love
Burger