crackfic, i suppooooose
part II!
the hard(y) boys
pete, patrick, the winchesters (supernatural), buffy summers, etc.
[ part I ]
PREVIOUSLY:
"Buffy!" Dean says brightly. "Long time, no see, good times."
"Heh," says Sam.
Pete finally catches sight of the swamp man corpse. "What the fuck is that?"
Patrick stares at him. The flickering yellow light - and seriously, when the hell did he step into a B horror film, is what he'd like to know - bounces off Pete's face, which is still shiny with post-show sweat. It highlights the doe eyes and the slightly open mouth and makes him look dumber than usual.
Yeah, okay, Patrick might be projecting a little.
"You do have a knack for asking the right questions at the right times," Patrick finally manages to say. "This guy just fucking," and he wants to say 'vanquished', but that might be overdoing it a little, and so he says, "This guy just fucking. Fucked that thing up."
"Yeah, I can tell." Pete toes at the remnants. "It reminds me of when that inflatable pool we had got all algaed and stuff and then it deflated when Joe poked a barbeque prong into it. Remember?"
Patrick is jealous of how Pete is keeping remarkably calm through all this. He blinks when Sam gives Pete a sideways look and says, "You're actually really calm about this."
Pete shrugs. He says, "Yeah, well," and Patrick interrupts with, "He's had a lot of experience with digesting horrifying events in a short timespan," and then Dean interrupts with, "Oh, wait. Dude. Are you talking about - are you that guy who showed his 'dagger' on the internet?" He makes little quotation marks with his index fingers while holding his actual dagger in a loose fist.
"You don't even know what MySpace is but you know this?" Sam turns to Pete and adds, "Seriously, was that you?" He looks hilariously incredulous.
Looking annoyed, Pete opens his mouth but Patrick snaps, "Whatever dude, you're the one that keeps bringing it up when it could have been erased from internet memory months ago," before he can say anything.
There's an awkward silence. Pete closes his mouth. Patrick blushes. "Sorry. Sorry, I'm just." He gesticulates his feelings and Pete nods an okay.
"Lover's spat," Dean mutters to Sam, talking like a shitty ventriloquist.
Buffy clears her throat. "Ahem."
"Guy talk, hon," Dean says immediately. He chuckles a little. "Listen boys, let me give you some life advice while we're having this strange, strange chat. If you meet someone you think is cute and sassy, go for it. Talk to her. Take her on dates. Touch her. I mean, this gal over here was great. But by the end, she was - "
Buffy rolls her eyes. "Please. Stop with the eulogy of our deader than dead relationship."
" - she was a huge. Bitch. And I had to cut her loose. It's just how it goes," Dean finishes. He smiles widely and claps his hands together once. "Alright kids, it's been a great pow-wow here, but I think I saw some vampires around tonight. Me and Sammy hunted one down yesterday, but - "
The door opens again. Patrick's immediate reaction to the noise is to almost throw up. He would have been a good subject for Pavlov.
"Dude, some motherfucker just attacked me," Gerard begins, and then his eyes light upon Dean. "Actually, it was that motherfucker. What the hell are you guys - do you know this asshole?"
Before any of them can come up with a cover story, Buffy snips, "Great job, Dean, stellar work. You've always sucked at recognizing vampires," and then, giving up hope of any sort of pretense, Sam punches Dean in the arm.
"You attacked an innocent person?"
"Have you seen his teeth?" Dean asks defensively, rubbing his arm. "No really, count his damn teeth. Go ahead. And you're the Slayer, that's an unfair advantage if there ever was one," he adds to Buffy.
"No one's counting my damn teeth," Gerard warns.
"Yeah, he's very sensitive about that," Pete chimes in. Five heads turn to look at him, and he shrugs. "Mikey told me."
Patrick says, "I really need to get the fuck inside."
"Seriously, what is this, a fucking Justice League meeting? Motherfucking vampires? Are you guys weapons dealers? I - " Gerard catches sight of Dean's hand and his tone changes abruptly. "Whoa whoa whoa. Is that an 11th century Scythian dagger?"
Five heads turn to look at Gerard.
"Yeah, actually," Dean replies after a pause. He holds it up, blade facing epically toward the sky. "Pretty cool, huh?"
"Fuck yeah," Gerard crows.
"Sorry," Sam says to Buffy in an apologetic voice. She gives him a tight smile. Pete puts an arm around Patrick's shoulders and pulls him in.
"You okay?" he whispers.
Patrick examines himself. Is he okay? Surprisingly, he finds that the answer is yes, and he marvels at the fact that if nothing else, people are capable of adapting to things really fucking quickly. That is, until something Dean said finally kicks a reaction out of his brain.
"Wait," he says outloud. "Did someone just say that there are vampires here tonight?"
the hard(y) boys
pete, patrick, the winchesters (supernatural), buffy summers, etc.
[ part I ]
PREVIOUSLY:
"Buffy!" Dean says brightly. "Long time, no see, good times."
"Heh," says Sam.
Pete finally catches sight of the swamp man corpse. "What the fuck is that?"
Patrick stares at him. The flickering yellow light - and seriously, when the hell did he step into a B horror film, is what he'd like to know - bounces off Pete's face, which is still shiny with post-show sweat. It highlights the doe eyes and the slightly open mouth and makes him look dumber than usual.
Yeah, okay, Patrick might be projecting a little.
"You do have a knack for asking the right questions at the right times," Patrick finally manages to say. "This guy just fucking," and he wants to say 'vanquished', but that might be overdoing it a little, and so he says, "This guy just fucking. Fucked that thing up."
"Yeah, I can tell." Pete toes at the remnants. "It reminds me of when that inflatable pool we had got all algaed and stuff and then it deflated when Joe poked a barbeque prong into it. Remember?"
Patrick is jealous of how Pete is keeping remarkably calm through all this. He blinks when Sam gives Pete a sideways look and says, "You're actually really calm about this."
Pete shrugs. He says, "Yeah, well," and Patrick interrupts with, "He's had a lot of experience with digesting horrifying events in a short timespan," and then Dean interrupts with, "Oh, wait. Dude. Are you talking about - are you that guy who showed his 'dagger' on the internet?" He makes little quotation marks with his index fingers while holding his actual dagger in a loose fist.
"You don't even know what MySpace is but you know this?" Sam turns to Pete and adds, "Seriously, was that you?" He looks hilariously incredulous.
Looking annoyed, Pete opens his mouth but Patrick snaps, "Whatever dude, you're the one that keeps bringing it up when it could have been erased from internet memory months ago," before he can say anything.
There's an awkward silence. Pete closes his mouth. Patrick blushes. "Sorry. Sorry, I'm just." He gesticulates his feelings and Pete nods an okay.
"Lover's spat," Dean mutters to Sam, talking like a shitty ventriloquist.
Buffy clears her throat. "Ahem."
"Guy talk, hon," Dean says immediately. He chuckles a little. "Listen boys, let me give you some life advice while we're having this strange, strange chat. If you meet someone you think is cute and sassy, go for it. Talk to her. Take her on dates. Touch her. I mean, this gal over here was great. But by the end, she was - "
Buffy rolls her eyes. "Please. Stop with the eulogy of our deader than dead relationship."
" - she was a huge. Bitch. And I had to cut her loose. It's just how it goes," Dean finishes. He smiles widely and claps his hands together once. "Alright kids, it's been a great pow-wow here, but I think I saw some vampires around tonight. Me and Sammy hunted one down yesterday, but - "
The door opens again. Patrick's immediate reaction to the noise is to almost throw up. He would have been a good subject for Pavlov.
"Dude, some motherfucker just attacked me," Gerard begins, and then his eyes light upon Dean. "Actually, it was that motherfucker. What the hell are you guys - do you know this asshole?"
Before any of them can come up with a cover story, Buffy snips, "Great job, Dean, stellar work. You've always sucked at recognizing vampires," and then, giving up hope of any sort of pretense, Sam punches Dean in the arm.
"You attacked an innocent person?"
"Have you seen his teeth?" Dean asks defensively, rubbing his arm. "No really, count his damn teeth. Go ahead. And you're the Slayer, that's an unfair advantage if there ever was one," he adds to Buffy.
"No one's counting my damn teeth," Gerard warns.
"Yeah, he's very sensitive about that," Pete chimes in. Five heads turn to look at him, and he shrugs. "Mikey told me."
Patrick says, "I really need to get the fuck inside."
"Seriously, what is this, a fucking Justice League meeting? Motherfucking vampires? Are you guys weapons dealers? I - " Gerard catches sight of Dean's hand and his tone changes abruptly. "Whoa whoa whoa. Is that an 11th century Scythian dagger?"
Five heads turn to look at Gerard.
"Yeah, actually," Dean replies after a pause. He holds it up, blade facing epically toward the sky. "Pretty cool, huh?"
"Fuck yeah," Gerard crows.
"Sorry," Sam says to Buffy in an apologetic voice. She gives him a tight smile. Pete puts an arm around Patrick's shoulders and pulls him in.
"You okay?" he whispers.
Patrick examines himself. Is he okay? Surprisingly, he finds that the answer is yes, and he marvels at the fact that if nothing else, people are capable of adapting to things really fucking quickly. That is, until something Dean said finally kicks a reaction out of his brain.
"Wait," he says outloud. "Did someone just say that there are vampires here tonight?"