(no subject)
A few of the guys were out with me drinking, and we get to talking. Eventually we go out to Bob Kanes grave, and i take a big piss on it before I knock it down. Its my way of showing respect.
Cuba and I used to prank call Bob Cane, and say we were the real Batman, and we were gonna kill him for taking our identity. Then Cuba and I would throw a brick right through his window. Man, I hated Bob Cane.
I always get the question “How did you get the idea for the X-Men?” My answer is two simple words. FUCK OFF!
Galactus was my idea. I told Kirby “He’s a big guy in a purple suit that eats planets to sustain life. Kind of like how I fucked your wife last night.” The analogy didn't make sense, but Kirby, he understood.
Kirby walks into my office, and he pitches me the idea for the Fantastic Four, and I said to him “THAT’S THE DUMBEST THING I EVER HEARD! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE!” Not five seconds later, I copywriter the idea and the money flows in like gangbusters. Kirby never got a cent. What a dumbass.
Excelsior! Funny story. I came up with it when I was doing Kirby’s wife. I slapped her ass and yelled it out loud. The rest is history.
Kids always ask me “Where did the idea for Mr. Fantastic come from?” Two words: my pants. Don’t believe me? Ask Kirby’s wife. That bitch...
So I call Jack Kirby into my office, and I got the cover of Fantastic Four #73 sitting there and I say “Hey Jack, notice anything different about it?” He said, “Yeah, my name’s not on it.” And I said “That’s ‘cause your fired, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE!” That was the best Ben Grimm he ever drew.
I started Stan’s Soapbox to give marvelites a taste of, ya, know what life was like at Marvel. The first one I wrote just said “Jack Kirby’s wife likes cock. Especially mine.” It wasn’t great writing, but it was the truth.
So me and the boys went down to 5th Avenue to the DC offices. And we took our baseball bats and we smashed the place up and then we burned it to the ground! That taught Jerry Siegle to fuck with the House of Ideas. But I never missed an issue of Superman. What a great book.
So Dave Goeing comes into my office and I say to him, make Mary Jane look more like this, and I hand him a polaroid of his naked wife sitting on my lap he said “Stan, that’s my wife”, I said “Yeah, your kid took it, now get the FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE!” His Mary Jane was just gorgeous.
Bendis is good because he writes 5 books a month. FUCK THAT. Back in my day I wrote 17 books a week and fucked Kirby’s wife on the side. One time I got them mixed up and I fucked a copy of the avengers while I was writing the Spidy script on her ass. I made Kirby watch, ya know I had no choice, we were on a deadline.
Spiderman didn't come along by accident. He was partially created from an escapade where I made Kirby's wife do my laundry and then tied her up after I sodomized her.
So for April Fools day one year, I plastered photos of Kirby's wife holding signs that said "I love Stan Lee's massive erection" all over his office. When he went in he burst into tears. So I jump out and say "April Fools! The real ones say 'I love Stan Lee's extremely massive erection.'" That was one of the greatest years of my life.
Cuba and I used to prank call Bob Cane, and say we were the real Batman, and we were gonna kill him for taking our identity. Then Cuba and I would throw a brick right through his window. Man, I hated Bob Cane.
I always get the question “How did you get the idea for the X-Men?” My answer is two simple words. FUCK OFF!
Galactus was my idea. I told Kirby “He’s a big guy in a purple suit that eats planets to sustain life. Kind of like how I fucked your wife last night.” The analogy didn't make sense, but Kirby, he understood.
Kirby walks into my office, and he pitches me the idea for the Fantastic Four, and I said to him “THAT’S THE DUMBEST THING I EVER HEARD! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE!” Not five seconds later, I copywriter the idea and the money flows in like gangbusters. Kirby never got a cent. What a dumbass.
Excelsior! Funny story. I came up with it when I was doing Kirby’s wife. I slapped her ass and yelled it out loud. The rest is history.
Kids always ask me “Where did the idea for Mr. Fantastic come from?” Two words: my pants. Don’t believe me? Ask Kirby’s wife. That bitch...
So I call Jack Kirby into my office, and I got the cover of Fantastic Four #73 sitting there and I say “Hey Jack, notice anything different about it?” He said, “Yeah, my name’s not on it.” And I said “That’s ‘cause your fired, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE!” That was the best Ben Grimm he ever drew.
I started Stan’s Soapbox to give marvelites a taste of, ya, know what life was like at Marvel. The first one I wrote just said “Jack Kirby’s wife likes cock. Especially mine.” It wasn’t great writing, but it was the truth.
So me and the boys went down to 5th Avenue to the DC offices. And we took our baseball bats and we smashed the place up and then we burned it to the ground! That taught Jerry Siegle to fuck with the House of Ideas. But I never missed an issue of Superman. What a great book.
So Dave Goeing comes into my office and I say to him, make Mary Jane look more like this, and I hand him a polaroid of his naked wife sitting on my lap he said “Stan, that’s my wife”, I said “Yeah, your kid took it, now get the FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE!” His Mary Jane was just gorgeous.
Bendis is good because he writes 5 books a month. FUCK THAT. Back in my day I wrote 17 books a week and fucked Kirby’s wife on the side. One time I got them mixed up and I fucked a copy of the avengers while I was writing the Spidy script on her ass. I made Kirby watch, ya know I had no choice, we were on a deadline.
Spiderman didn't come along by accident. He was partially created from an escapade where I made Kirby's wife do my laundry and then tied her up after I sodomized her.
So for April Fools day one year, I plastered photos of Kirby's wife holding signs that said "I love Stan Lee's massive erection" all over his office. When he went in he burst into tears. So I jump out and say "April Fools! The real ones say 'I love Stan Lee's extremely massive erection.'" That was one of the greatest years of my life.