(no subject)
i love going to billy d's.
joel promised he would come tonight
and he did
and it was fun. first time i just had fun in a while. just me, him, janet, and delisa. unfortunately, ricky and co. soon joined us and it ruined my mood.
wasted as ever and doubting my ability to drive (not something that happens often), i decided to leave.
joel came after me. caught me just as i reached the door and came out to my car with me
i want to tell him everything. just spill my guts in the john's root beer parking lot
but i can't
all i can do is hug him and wish for the courage, the strength, the fucking sanity to be with someone like him
i drove down to 18 and moorland (miraculously) and where if I went straight, i'd head to my apartment, but if i turned right, i'd loop around back to billy d's.
i went back.
and as soon as i saw joel i forgot about everything else and just wanted to be near him and talk to him.
if only, though. maybe i could be okay. but it was just sympathy. could never be anything else.
i'm still wasted.
joel promised he would come tonight
and he did
and it was fun. first time i just had fun in a while. just me, him, janet, and delisa. unfortunately, ricky and co. soon joined us and it ruined my mood.
wasted as ever and doubting my ability to drive (not something that happens often), i decided to leave.
joel came after me. caught me just as i reached the door and came out to my car with me
i want to tell him everything. just spill my guts in the john's root beer parking lot
but i can't
all i can do is hug him and wish for the courage, the strength, the fucking sanity to be with someone like him
i drove down to 18 and moorland (miraculously) and where if I went straight, i'd head to my apartment, but if i turned right, i'd loop around back to billy d's.
i went back.
and as soon as i saw joel i forgot about everything else and just wanted to be near him and talk to him.
if only, though. maybe i could be okay. but it was just sympathy. could never be anything else.
i'm still wasted.