Feb 10, 2010 12:43
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here. )There was the stairwell. Kairi couldn't help but smile to herself as she rounded the corner and spotted the familiar hallway, still shrouded in darkness like she remembered it. She could see down the hallway and slightly into the Sun Room from where she was standing, and she lowered her flashlight, not wanting whatever it was that
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rika,
raine,
kirk,
sechs,
naruto,
klavier,
meche,
kagura,
tenzen,
bella,
faith,
kaito,
aigis,
leonard,
beatrice,
the doctor,
sora,
sam winchester,
allen,
claude,
renamon,
guybrush,
hokuto,
roland,
teresa,
lana skye,
ruby,
raphael,
mello,
xemnas,
ange,
albedo,
hanyuu,
guy,
kairi,
agatha,
chekov,
peter petrelli,
nigredo,
depth charge,
kibitoshin,
two-face,
erika,
edgar,
tifa,
the scarecrow,
yomi,
aerith,
edward cullen,
falis,
ema skye,
tyki,
mccoy,
spock,
zack,
kratos,
hime
She still wasn't finished.
"It's ... I ... there's more, Riku," she whispered, her voice cracking. Despite how hard she was trying to make it seem like she was invincible, that she felt nothing about it, the pain was slowly becoming evident - in her voice, in her eyes, in her expression, even in her posture. Once Kairi moved back to her protected spot on the wall, it almost seemed like she was curling in on herself, acting as her own shield while she hid away.
The next part was going to be hard to explain. "When I woke up the next morning it ... I ... my body felt like it was on fire, burning from the inside. The slightest touch to anything hurt so terribly ..." She remembered it well, frowning to herself. "But I was slowly getting used to it, until ..."
She could still see the crazed girl like it was just yesterday, feel the pain as her face was smashed against the mirror, feel the agony as the girl stabbed her in the abdomen with her bare fingernails. Like a movie, the images were replayed in her mind over and over and over until she finally shook it out and continued.
"It was completely my fault. I was the one who left Sora, I was the one who asked the patient if she was okay ... but she wasn't. She was crazed; she ... I tried to protect myself against her, but punching her in the face was like punching a wall, and I ran into the bathroom ..." Now came the hard part. Again.
"But she followed me, and ..." Kairi's hand unconsciously lifted to press against her stomach, wondering if perhaps she had a scar there. "She beat me. And I had nothing to do. I thought I was going to die ... but I wanted to be strong, wanted to fight back ..."
At that point, Kairi looked down, unable to face Riku at that point. Sora already knew the story, but ... "I ... accepted the darkness, so I could be strong. And in a way it ... stopped me from dying." A pause, and she continued, swallowing. "I became ... a ... a ..."
She looked to Sora, pleading for him to help her.
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Right as he was preparing to smile encouragingly at Kairi, she turned away from him to continue her explanation. It seemed that she was going to give the whole story, now that she'd started. Maybe that was for the best.
Even if the details Kairi was giving were ones that Sora had witnessed himself, it was still hard to hear. It brought him back to all of those incidents with a sharp clarity. He'd had to watch the pain she was in while unable to help her; he'd had to find her badly wounded and know that he should have been there; he'd had to feel her claws in his skin and know that it wasn't her fault, that she would never do something like that if she could help it.
When Kairi suddenly looked to him for help, he frowned and moved toward her. He was sure that Riku could fill in the blanks, and so all he did was awkwardly loop an arm around Kairi's shoulders. It wasn't exactly a hug, but this probably wasn't the time for that. They still had work to do, even if that was the farthest thing from his mind at the moment.
Sora had already made it clear to Kairi that he didn't blame her for attacking him that night, but he figured this bit of physical closeness would reinforce that. In the end, his eyes settled on Riku, once again anticipating his response.
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Riku pulled back further and looked away, uncertain of how to put his thoughts to words. How was he supposed to be sure of anything when Kairi had been pushed to that limit? His hands curled into fists, and his head lowered again.
Of the three of them, he was the one who was meant to talk big and act like they had everything handled, but he didn't. The part of him that did have a petty streak wanted to turn it onto Sora, who hugged Kairi out of the corner of his eye, but she had stopped that. It wouldn't be fair to either of them, and it wouldn't be right of him to do that. In many ways, it was a drastic change from his previous, irrational behavior, the same behavior that would lead to callous exclamations as Sora stood along aside Donald and Goofy. There was no witty statement, no ready proclamation about how Sora had messed up. He didn't have a right to say it.
Without anything to say, he realized he didn't really know what to do in this circumstance. With them hugging, he was completely at a loss. Though the three of them held hands in the Organization's stronghold, that was Riku being dragged into it. And now, he just stood off to the side, only thinking of how he needed to protect Kairi from now on. There wouldn't be a need for her to use that Darkness again or get lost in it. He would make sure of it.
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Would they ever truly be happy again?
At that moment, despite her need to believe that they would, Kairi couldn't help but still feel that lingering doubt that was always in the back of her mind.
No, she told herself, her eyes shutting as she thought to herself. Thinking such things is going to get us nowhere. If they can't smile, then you can smile for them. Always.
Kairi turned to look at Sora when she felt his arm around her, and she turned to look at him, giving him a soft smile. It meant a lot to her that he was still there, and that he had forgiven her. While a part of her still hadn't even forgiven herself, she was happy to know that at least the one that had been attacked didn't hold it against her.
Maybe we all really have grown up, she thought to herself, and she turned her head to look at Riku with that same soft smile.
"I know it's hard to take in, and I know it ... it will be okay some day, but right now all we can do is look at tonight, right? All that matters now is that we're all together again, and we can move on and all work together to make things better again. You don't need to worry about me. I can hold my own," a pause, and she spoke again, smiling. "Besides, I've kicked a monster in the face before. I'm practically a pro now."
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But he was probably over-thinking things. Riku probably just didn't know how to respond to what he'd just heard, because there was no good response. It had happened even though it should have been impossible, and now the only thing they could do was stop thinking about themselves and start thinking about how to support and help Kairi with all of it.
She was the one who spoke up first, which made Sora wonder if maybe she was the strongest of all of them. He couldn't help grinning at the girl when she mentioned kicking a monster; he remembered that night, and how proud she'd been. While he was still wary about Kairi fighting, he was doing his best to be open-minded about it.
"Well, we're going to have to teach you how to use that thing!" he announced, pulling away from her so that he could motion to the sword she was carrying. "And I guess we'd better get going, huh? We're going outside first," he announced, stepping forward a couple steps to show that he was ready to go. Things weren't better, but sitting around and thinking about how bad it all was wouldn't help a thing.
Maybe Sora could find a time to talk about all of it with Riku, one-on-one. It wouldn't be a fun conversation, but it was probably the right thing to do.
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Great, just great.
Riku forced himself to look toward his friends, his expression blank, hardened because he didn't need them to read it. That was another thing he mastered in the presence of Ansem. Even if his eyes were covered by the blindfold, other parts of his features could give away little bits of emotion. Sometimes, the older man wouldn't notice a thing, but others, when they spoke of the problems with Sora's recovery, would reveal how he felt. He eventually hardened himself for the sake of seeming as if he could handle it. His carefully placed façade was a major contrast to how he had been on the Islands, but almost imperceptible changes would be the only way to understand what he was thinking. And even without the blindfold, it was difficult to tell. It turned out that Riku's eyes could lie.
These changes were bad for him. He knew that, but it was so easy to revert back to that previous state for the sake of them. It had always been for their sake. That was something that never changed. Regressing to a previous state wasn't healthy, though. But he would do it, as long as it would keep him together, as long as he could fool his friends.
(Some part of him doubted he would be as capable of this as he would like, but he would still try.)
His hardened expression remained in place as they talked, and he didn't remark on Kairi's last statement. It wasn't like he didn't want her to fight-wasn't that why he gave her a keyblade in the first place? Knowing that she could handle herself was pretty neat, but knowing that any additional strength came from the Darkness enveloping her heart made him feel queasy (but again, this feeling wasn't marked by even the slightest change in expression). As Sora pressed on, his bit of rebellion settled in. Was going out there necessary? Would it help them find the way out? It sounded more like a duty for someone else.
"Why?" he asked, his voice at its proper level. "Would that help us get out and back home?" Riku realized that he probably needed to worry about the other people, too, but his mind was focused on his pair of friends. They had been here too long. They needed to leave.
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At Riku's question, the once princess frowned and looked at her taller friend. "I don't ... think anyone knows how to get to their homes. Not yet, anyway. We don't even know what world we're on now," She admitted, sighing. "And I've spoken to people who are from worlds I had never even heard of before! Like Tokyo. Anyway, someone I once spoke to said we're on a planet called ..." a pause, and Kairi frowned, crossing her arms across her chest for a moment while her fingers tapped against her lips "Hm, what was it called again? Earth?"
Not that that was what Riku had even asked, but still.
But Riku's comment also made her think as well. Surely everyone in the club was working together so they could all find the way home, weren't they? What they were doing wasn't useless; it simply couldn't be.
But then again, she supposed there was no way of knowing exactly.
"And I read on the bulletin we're supposed to go to the basement?" Kairi asked Sora, turning to him with a soft tilt of her head. "I've never been down there, or even heard anything about it. Perhaps there's a way down there we had never heard about?"
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Sora was surprised that Riku was questioning going outside of all things. Not that his friend questioning things was out of the ordinary, but Sora would have figured the other boy would have wanted to get a breath of fresh air, or just get out of the building in general. Then again, maybe he'd already made it out earlier today...
When Kairi started to give an answer (not a direct one, but she was still explaining some important stuff), Sora nodded to reinforce what the girl was saying. "Everyone seems pretty sure it's Earth, yeah." Not that Riku would have heard of it; Sora certainly hadn't until he'd gotten here.
"Anyway, Riku..." Sora glanced back to his friend and gave him a serious look. This was important. "It's not that simple. I told you this was about working together, so first we're going to go to the shed out on the field to gather some weapons, and then we'll be heading for the basement to check that out." The second part might actually help to find an escape, but Sora wasn't entirely sure of how it all worked.
As for Kairi's question, Sora put a hand to his chin as he thought it over. If they were already going to be out on the field, then it probably made more sense to jump the wall into the courtyard and then head into the cafeteria from there. That would ensure that they avoided the Sun Room, at least. There might be something else waiting for them outside, but they'd just have to wait and see.
He realized that taking his two friends into the basement meant putting them in a lot of danger, but Kairi seemed set on it... and this was probably the only way to ensure that Riku agreed with the plan, too.
"Anyway, are you guys ready?" he asked, putting both hands on his hips as he leaned toward them. They'd spent way too long talking already, so he hoped that Riku wouldn't keep arguing with him about it. Or that they could at least discuss the whole thing while they moved.
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He said nothing to Kairi's statement, a silent sense of determination sweeping over him. For as difficult as it could have been, Riku kept Sora safe. In the end, he failed to completely protect Kairi multiple times, but this would have to be different. Continuing to fail would only cost her more than her light. If it got to that point, he didn't know if he could handle it.
"I guess I'll see how things go this time," he said, moving to stand beside Kairi more firmly. From the action, it was probably obvious that he would be firmly planting himself next to her for the rest of the night. "But I make no promises for tomorrow." Going out to get weapons seemed like it would slow them down, but Sora's assumptions were right: he wouldn't mind getting outside. But getting out there would likely be disappointing. The only air he wanted to have greet him and his friends right now was one that smelled vaguely like the ocean, wrapping around them and enveloping their senses fully. That's what he wanted to experience, not anything this place could offer, with how its edges seemed to be tinged with Darkness.
Riku nodded toward Sora, indicating that he might as well begin to lead the way. But Riku planned on paying attention to his surroundings, in the circumstance that he needed to handle any of this on his own.
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The Activity Shed was where they were heading, correct? Kairi mentally thought about where it was, remembering having been there once before. At least it wasn't far away.
Quickly picking up Rukia's sword, Kairi led them back the way she came, figuring it was the easiest way outside.
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