Feb 10, 2010 12:43
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here. )There was the stairwell. Kairi couldn't help but smile to herself as she rounded the corner and spotted the familiar hallway, still shrouded in darkness like she remembered it. She could see down the hallway and slightly into the Sun Room from where she was standing, and she lowered her flashlight, not wanting whatever it was that
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rika,
raine,
kirk,
sechs,
naruto,
klavier,
meche,
kagura,
tenzen,
bella,
faith,
kaito,
aigis,
leonard,
beatrice,
the doctor,
sora,
sam winchester,
allen,
claude,
renamon,
guybrush,
hokuto,
roland,
teresa,
lana skye,
ruby,
raphael,
mello,
xemnas,
ange,
albedo,
hanyuu,
guy,
kairi,
agatha,
chekov,
peter petrelli,
nigredo,
depth charge,
kibitoshin,
two-face,
erika,
edgar,
tifa,
the scarecrow,
yomi,
aerith,
edward cullen,
falis,
ema skye,
tyki,
mccoy,
spock,
zack,
kratos,
hime
As Sora neared the stairs, he could barely believe what he saw. He was used to always being the first of his group to make it to this spot, so the fact that Kairi had gotten there first was a serious shock. Had she run all the way here or something? It wasn't fair!
Still, there was no sign of Riku, which at least meant he wasn't last. Sora couldn't blame his friend for taking a bit longer to get here, and that counted even more so if his room was further away. That didn't mean he wouldn't tease him about it, though. Especially when he'd been talking so big at lunch.
On a more serious note, he hoped that Riku realized that severity of this situation sooner rather than later. It might cost him otherwise, and that was the last thing Sora wanted.
But even more startling than Kairi's presence was what she was holding. His flashlight caused the blade to glint brightly, forcing him to lower it.
"Whoa!" he exclaimed. "Where'd you get that?" But as Sora got closer to the girl and got a better look, he realized that the weapon was familiar. Frowning, he looked up to Kairi's face. "It's... Rukia's, isn't it?"
The shinigami had disappeared from this place what felt like a long time ago. Sora still remembered how upset Kairi had been about it, and the wounds probably still felt fresh to her. He frowned, his fist clenching as he wondered if he should place a hand on the girl's shoulder.
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She didn't know, honestly. Sometimes the magic of Landel's was a little confusing to her, but what else could she do? It wasn't like she was going to turn down a free weapon - especially one that was somewhat sentimental to her.
"Plus, I'm sure if Rukia were here," at this point her grin faded and was replaced by a sad frown, "I'm sure she'd want me to use it to be safe, so nothing like that night ever happens to me again."
Kairi knew Sora remembered the night that she was speaking of; how could he forget? That was the night when everything changed ... she changed. She saw the consequences of what happened to her, and now she had to live with that fear of it happening again.
... Except there was a slight part of her that wanted it to happen again, just so she could learn to control it. If Riku could learn to control his darkness then couldn't she too? She knew she was strong enough.
Speaking of.
Kairi was quiet for a few moments before speaking, her face strangely calm as her eyes stared at the floor. "How am I going to tell Riku what happened to me?"
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He got the feeling Kairi was right about Rukia, and smiled when she brought that up. While it was still hard for him to think back on how many of his friends had disappeared over his time in this place, all he could do was hope that they were well. Even if their minds had been tampered with, that was better than being dead. And they'd get them all back to normal eventually.
While Sora felt better knowing that Kairi had a way to defend herself, he wasn't entirely sure that the girl knew how to use the sword properly. He might have to work with Riku to teach her how to wield it without hurting herself in the process, but they could talk about that later.
Besides, Kairi had already changed the subject to something much more worrisome. Sora still remembered the way Riku had reacted to the news of Kairi's experiment the last time he'd been here, and it hadn't been good. He probably wouldn't take it any better this time, but he needed to know...
"How? Well, I guess just start off by saying that you were experimented on once before, and then just break it to him gently?" he mused. While Sora knew that Riku preferred bluntness, he thought this might be one instance where a softer route would be better. "I can help you with it if you need me to," he offered. Sora could understand if Kairi was apprehensive about giving the news herself.
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For the most part, he had jogged the entire way, be slowed down as he hit this new hallway, which was filled with numerous people. In the distance, Riku saw Shinji standing around, but it didn't seem like the right time. As much as he knew that guy couldn't handle himself, he needed to get to his friends. The bulletin board seemed like a good place to check up on him, and honestly, it didn't seem like anything could bother him if he was out here. That didn't make Shinji's presence any less surprising; he didn't seem like the type of guy who would risk going out at night. Maybe he was trying to prove something himself, after all.
His "slowing down" came to a slow trot as he neared his friends. Riku wondered, from a distance, how his friend had gotten his old clothes back. That was something he'd just have to ask. And since his attention was on others before his gaze shifted to notice his friends, he hadn't been able to catch the tail-end of Sora's explanation (which was both a good thing and a bad thing).
He stood in-between the two of them, and opened his mouth to ask a question, but that was when it hit him. Darkness-the same Darkness that permeated through the halls, as if it was slick against the walls, but it clung to one of these individuals. His first instinct was to look at Sora, because he knew his friend wasn't as pure, but it was obvious, as he made a subtle inhale, that it wasn't the spiky haired shrimp. No, it was the other one, which seemed to wrap tightly around his own heart and make his stomach feel a little sick.
Startled, he stepped back uneasily. It wasn't that it was too overpowering, not like the Nobodies happened to be, but it was the fact that it was there at all. Kairi was a Princess of Heart; she wasn't supposed to smell like Darkness. Neither of them bothered to mention this, and he couldn't figure out why. His eyes were widened, uneasy, and from his stance, it was obvious that he was tense. Not tense like the times before a fight, but tense as if he was thrown into a corner, and the only way to handle a situation was to spring out and lash out at anyone near him. This was mixed in with his protective instincts. How had the Darkness clung to her? That wasn't supposed to be possible, even if she had a Nobody. But right now, her Nobody was separate. That should have made it even less likely.
"What happened?" he demanded, but his words weren't projected toward Kairi-it was obvious he was looking at Sora. Riku couldn't bring himself to use harsh words against her. She was a piece of proof that there were outside worlds, a living element that existed alongside him and Sora. Over time, she grew up into something more than that, and he remembered the pacts and desperation he felt in trying to protect her. Even if he wasn't able to, Sora was supposed to.
Truthfully, he felt a little bad, immediately projecting his feelings of unease toward his best friend, and he would settle down with guilt after a moment. But that didn't remove the initial sentiment. Riku kept waiting for it to go away, for it to seem like the Darkness just got a little thicker here, but it wasn't something he noticed until he was right there alongside her.
She was supposed to be safe from this. She was made of light in every way. What happened to her? Was that why they couldn't smile earlier?
Beneath these thoughts, these brewing feelings of discomfort, he couldn't help but wonder why he couldn't have been there to stop it, to protect her? Or was that just a game, too?
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Except at that very moment Riku came into her view, and instantly her face paled at his reaction. She could see all the telltale signs of what she had once dubbed "Rikuemotion" - slight facial changes, differences in his posture. Riku wasn't one to show emotion like she or Sora did; he usually kept it in and barely spoke about it. She was still trying to get him to at least talk to her about his issues, but ... well. After this he wasn't really going to be very open, considering she hadn't been very open with him.
But could he blame her? Could he blame them? It wasn't the time or place to tell him at lunch.
She didn't want it this way. Kairi rested her sword against the wall behind her and moved towards Riku quickly, not wanting him to blame Sora or get angry or feel guilty or whatever it was he was feeling.
"Riku," Kairi cried out, worry making her heart thud in her chest. "Please, don't. Don't be mad, don't be upset ... and please, please don't feel guilty." Even though she knew she could plead all she wanted, she couldn't stop him from feeling what he was going to feel. Just like she couldn't stop Sora from feeling guilt about not being able to save her as well. It wasn't there fault it had happened - it just happened. If they wanted someone to blame, then they should have blamed her. She had allowed it to happen.
Just like in The World That Never Was, when Riku tried to leave, Kairi reached out and grabbed onto his hand with both of her smaller ones, gripping onto it tightly. It took her a few seconds to calm down, but when she finally did, she turned and looked at Sora, nodded once, then turned and looked back at Riku with a calm expression. "At lunch, Sora and I ... told you that sometimes at night, patients are taken from their room and ... experimented on. Riku," she paused, closing her eyes for a moment before opening them once again to look up at him. "I was taken from my room and experimented on."
But it didn't stop there, obviously. Kairi continued. "They injected darkness into my ... heart. And I ..." How could she possibly explain this part simply ... "I reacted ... badly to it. And I promise it wasn't that I was hiding it from you at lunch, it was just that it wasn't the time to tell you, and I'm sorry I kept it from you, I really am. "
There. Closing her eyes once again, Kairi released his hand and stepped back against the wall, fully prepared to answer any questions he wanted to ask. ... Or yell.
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Except that was when Riku showed up, and it was almost as if he had overheard them, even though that couldn't be possible. Still, Sora was able to read his friend's body language even in the dark, and he could tell that Riku was bothered, upset, maybe even angry. He struggled to piece together how Riku could have figured it out without hearing about it directly, but nothing was coming to mind.
Then again, the how wasn't all that important. Riku obviously did know that something had gone wrong, and Sora found himself shrinking back when his friend went so far as to ask him what had happened. As if it was his fault. And... it was, to a point. Kairi was his responsibility, and that was something he and Riku had agreed on together. Take care of her. That's what Riku had asked of him.
And he'd failed at that.
It was a relief when Kairi stepped up to say something about it, and Sora decided to simply remain in the background while she explained. There was no way he could fix what had happened, and he found that he didn't have any good answer for Riku. He felt himself stiffening in place as Kairi went through all of it, already trying to brace himself for Riku's reaction. It wasn't going to be good, and Sora knew that he was the one who should truly feel guilty for what had happened.
And he did, of course. But there was no way he could defend his actions (or lack thereof) when it came to this. So Sora stayed silent for once, waiting to see how Riku responded.
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A princess of heart with Darkness inside. It seemed like just the type of thing that could have been tried, but never managed. Even if Kairi lost her heart, it wasn't the same. The same protective instincts came back, and he knew that Sora hadn't been able to do what he expected him to do. But then again, would Riku have been able to do the same? Would it be fair to put that weight on his best friend?
Just lifting his gaze to look at Sora made it obvious that his friend wasn't able to take it as easy. Riku had come to face the fact that Sora could do anything; it just seemed like this place put a limit on that. His inability to extend his right arm and form his keyblade was enough of an indication of that. He breathed sharply and nodded, able to rationalize it to the best of his ability. That didn't make it any better, and it would probably be a given that his position on this place would change. If he stretched himself thin before, he would do more to protect his friends.
It was necessary. But right now, all he could do was watch over them and try to make things better. He didn't want to switch gears, but he needed to put a closing note on this. As much as he wanted to be angry-both at this place and himself-Kairi's words tempered that a bit. Riku couldn't really deny that, especially after everything.
"We'll fix it," he finally managed, but it was obvious he was choking the words out. He couldn't accuse her for not telling him. It was Kairi. Taking harsh words to her was impossible. "How ... I don't know, but we will."
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She still wasn't finished.
"It's ... I ... there's more, Riku," she whispered, her voice cracking. Despite how hard she was trying to make it seem like she was invincible, that she felt nothing about it, the pain was slowly becoming evident - in her voice, in her eyes, in her expression, even in her posture. Once Kairi moved back to her protected spot on the wall, it almost seemed like she was curling in on herself, acting as her own shield while she hid away.
The next part was going to be hard to explain. "When I woke up the next morning it ... I ... my body felt like it was on fire, burning from the inside. The slightest touch to anything hurt so terribly ..." She remembered it well, frowning to herself. "But I was slowly getting used to it, until ..."
She could still see the crazed girl like it was just yesterday, feel the pain as her face was smashed against the mirror, feel the agony as the girl stabbed her in the abdomen with her bare fingernails. Like a movie, the images were replayed in her mind over and over and over until she finally shook it out and continued.
"It was completely my fault. I was the one who left Sora, I was the one who asked the patient if she was okay ... but she wasn't. She was crazed; she ... I tried to protect myself against her, but punching her in the face was like punching a wall, and I ran into the bathroom ..." Now came the hard part. Again.
"But she followed me, and ..." Kairi's hand unconsciously lifted to press against her stomach, wondering if perhaps she had a scar there. "She beat me. And I had nothing to do. I thought I was going to die ... but I wanted to be strong, wanted to fight back ..."
At that point, Kairi looked down, unable to face Riku at that point. Sora already knew the story, but ... "I ... accepted the darkness, so I could be strong. And in a way it ... stopped me from dying." A pause, and she continued, swallowing. "I became ... a ... a ..."
She looked to Sora, pleading for him to help her.
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Right as he was preparing to smile encouragingly at Kairi, she turned away from him to continue her explanation. It seemed that she was going to give the whole story, now that she'd started. Maybe that was for the best.
Even if the details Kairi was giving were ones that Sora had witnessed himself, it was still hard to hear. It brought him back to all of those incidents with a sharp clarity. He'd had to watch the pain she was in while unable to help her; he'd had to find her badly wounded and know that he should have been there; he'd had to feel her claws in his skin and know that it wasn't her fault, that she would never do something like that if she could help it.
When Kairi suddenly looked to him for help, he frowned and moved toward her. He was sure that Riku could fill in the blanks, and so all he did was awkwardly loop an arm around Kairi's shoulders. It wasn't exactly a hug, but this probably wasn't the time for that. They still had work to do, even if that was the farthest thing from his mind at the moment.
Sora had already made it clear to Kairi that he didn't blame her for attacking him that night, but he figured this bit of physical closeness would reinforce that. In the end, his eyes settled on Riku, once again anticipating his response.
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Riku pulled back further and looked away, uncertain of how to put his thoughts to words. How was he supposed to be sure of anything when Kairi had been pushed to that limit? His hands curled into fists, and his head lowered again.
Of the three of them, he was the one who was meant to talk big and act like they had everything handled, but he didn't. The part of him that did have a petty streak wanted to turn it onto Sora, who hugged Kairi out of the corner of his eye, but she had stopped that. It wouldn't be fair to either of them, and it wouldn't be right of him to do that. In many ways, it was a drastic change from his previous, irrational behavior, the same behavior that would lead to callous exclamations as Sora stood along aside Donald and Goofy. There was no witty statement, no ready proclamation about how Sora had messed up. He didn't have a right to say it.
Without anything to say, he realized he didn't really know what to do in this circumstance. With them hugging, he was completely at a loss. Though the three of them held hands in the Organization's stronghold, that was Riku being dragged into it. And now, he just stood off to the side, only thinking of how he needed to protect Kairi from now on. There wouldn't be a need for her to use that Darkness again or get lost in it. He would make sure of it.
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Would they ever truly be happy again?
At that moment, despite her need to believe that they would, Kairi couldn't help but still feel that lingering doubt that was always in the back of her mind.
No, she told herself, her eyes shutting as she thought to herself. Thinking such things is going to get us nowhere. If they can't smile, then you can smile for them. Always.
Kairi turned to look at Sora when she felt his arm around her, and she turned to look at him, giving him a soft smile. It meant a lot to her that he was still there, and that he had forgiven her. While a part of her still hadn't even forgiven herself, she was happy to know that at least the one that had been attacked didn't hold it against her.
Maybe we all really have grown up, she thought to herself, and she turned her head to look at Riku with that same soft smile.
"I know it's hard to take in, and I know it ... it will be okay some day, but right now all we can do is look at tonight, right? All that matters now is that we're all together again, and we can move on and all work together to make things better again. You don't need to worry about me. I can hold my own," a pause, and she spoke again, smiling. "Besides, I've kicked a monster in the face before. I'm practically a pro now."
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But he was probably over-thinking things. Riku probably just didn't know how to respond to what he'd just heard, because there was no good response. It had happened even though it should have been impossible, and now the only thing they could do was stop thinking about themselves and start thinking about how to support and help Kairi with all of it.
She was the one who spoke up first, which made Sora wonder if maybe she was the strongest of all of them. He couldn't help grinning at the girl when she mentioned kicking a monster; he remembered that night, and how proud she'd been. While he was still wary about Kairi fighting, he was doing his best to be open-minded about it.
"Well, we're going to have to teach you how to use that thing!" he announced, pulling away from her so that he could motion to the sword she was carrying. "And I guess we'd better get going, huh? We're going outside first," he announced, stepping forward a couple steps to show that he was ready to go. Things weren't better, but sitting around and thinking about how bad it all was wouldn't help a thing.
Maybe Sora could find a time to talk about all of it with Riku, one-on-one. It wouldn't be a fun conversation, but it was probably the right thing to do.
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Great, just great.
Riku forced himself to look toward his friends, his expression blank, hardened because he didn't need them to read it. That was another thing he mastered in the presence of Ansem. Even if his eyes were covered by the blindfold, other parts of his features could give away little bits of emotion. Sometimes, the older man wouldn't notice a thing, but others, when they spoke of the problems with Sora's recovery, would reveal how he felt. He eventually hardened himself for the sake of seeming as if he could handle it. His carefully placed façade was a major contrast to how he had been on the Islands, but almost imperceptible changes would be the only way to understand what he was thinking. And even without the blindfold, it was difficult to tell. It turned out that Riku's eyes could lie.
These changes were bad for him. He knew that, but it was so easy to revert back to that previous state for the sake of them. It had always been for their sake. That was something that never changed. Regressing to a previous state wasn't healthy, though. But he would do it, as long as it would keep him together, as long as he could fool his friends.
(Some part of him doubted he would be as capable of this as he would like, but he would still try.)
His hardened expression remained in place as they talked, and he didn't remark on Kairi's last statement. It wasn't like he didn't want her to fight-wasn't that why he gave her a keyblade in the first place? Knowing that she could handle herself was pretty neat, but knowing that any additional strength came from the Darkness enveloping her heart made him feel queasy (but again, this feeling wasn't marked by even the slightest change in expression). As Sora pressed on, his bit of rebellion settled in. Was going out there necessary? Would it help them find the way out? It sounded more like a duty for someone else.
"Why?" he asked, his voice at its proper level. "Would that help us get out and back home?" Riku realized that he probably needed to worry about the other people, too, but his mind was focused on his pair of friends. They had been here too long. They needed to leave.
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At Riku's question, the once princess frowned and looked at her taller friend. "I don't ... think anyone knows how to get to their homes. Not yet, anyway. We don't even know what world we're on now," She admitted, sighing. "And I've spoken to people who are from worlds I had never even heard of before! Like Tokyo. Anyway, someone I once spoke to said we're on a planet called ..." a pause, and Kairi frowned, crossing her arms across her chest for a moment while her fingers tapped against her lips "Hm, what was it called again? Earth?"
Not that that was what Riku had even asked, but still.
But Riku's comment also made her think as well. Surely everyone in the club was working together so they could all find the way home, weren't they? What they were doing wasn't useless; it simply couldn't be.
But then again, she supposed there was no way of knowing exactly.
"And I read on the bulletin we're supposed to go to the basement?" Kairi asked Sora, turning to him with a soft tilt of her head. "I've never been down there, or even heard anything about it. Perhaps there's a way down there we had never heard about?"
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Sora was surprised that Riku was questioning going outside of all things. Not that his friend questioning things was out of the ordinary, but Sora would have figured the other boy would have wanted to get a breath of fresh air, or just get out of the building in general. Then again, maybe he'd already made it out earlier today...
When Kairi started to give an answer (not a direct one, but she was still explaining some important stuff), Sora nodded to reinforce what the girl was saying. "Everyone seems pretty sure it's Earth, yeah." Not that Riku would have heard of it; Sora certainly hadn't until he'd gotten here.
"Anyway, Riku..." Sora glanced back to his friend and gave him a serious look. This was important. "It's not that simple. I told you this was about working together, so first we're going to go to the shed out on the field to gather some weapons, and then we'll be heading for the basement to check that out." The second part might actually help to find an escape, but Sora wasn't entirely sure of how it all worked.
As for Kairi's question, Sora put a hand to his chin as he thought it over. If they were already going to be out on the field, then it probably made more sense to jump the wall into the courtyard and then head into the cafeteria from there. That would ensure that they avoided the Sun Room, at least. There might be something else waiting for them outside, but they'd just have to wait and see.
He realized that taking his two friends into the basement meant putting them in a lot of danger, but Kairi seemed set on it... and this was probably the only way to ensure that Riku agreed with the plan, too.
"Anyway, are you guys ready?" he asked, putting both hands on his hips as he leaned toward them. They'd spent way too long talking already, so he hoped that Riku wouldn't keep arguing with him about it. Or that they could at least discuss the whole thing while they moved.
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He said nothing to Kairi's statement, a silent sense of determination sweeping over him. For as difficult as it could have been, Riku kept Sora safe. In the end, he failed to completely protect Kairi multiple times, but this would have to be different. Continuing to fail would only cost her more than her light. If it got to that point, he didn't know if he could handle it.
"I guess I'll see how things go this time," he said, moving to stand beside Kairi more firmly. From the action, it was probably obvious that he would be firmly planting himself next to her for the rest of the night. "But I make no promises for tomorrow." Going out to get weapons seemed like it would slow them down, but Sora's assumptions were right: he wouldn't mind getting outside. But getting out there would likely be disappointing. The only air he wanted to have greet him and his friends right now was one that smelled vaguely like the ocean, wrapping around them and enveloping their senses fully. That's what he wanted to experience, not anything this place could offer, with how its edges seemed to be tinged with Darkness.
Riku nodded toward Sora, indicating that he might as well begin to lead the way. But Riku planned on paying attention to his surroundings, in the circumstance that he needed to handle any of this on his own.
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