Oct 30, 2007 22:09
Rhode didn't want to have to let go of Allen, not ever. It could be forever before she was able to be with him again! But the nurses were persistent in moving her off the big yellow thing, as was Allen for getting away from her. Even outside of the building, people were just determined to keep her from being with him! It wasn't fair
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jack horner,
raine,
rhode,
kenshin,
bella,
xigbar,
malik,
danny phantom,
heiderich,
mason,
saetan,
reinforce,
seishirou,
light,
clark kent,
keman,
claire bennet,
shana,
peter parker,
luxord,
artemis,
max,
dean winchester,
rena,
hughes,
byakko,
xemnas,
aya,
l.a.,
celes,
kenren,
hanyuu,
radical edward,
hinamori momo,
yohji,
katou,
roy,
naomi,
valyn,
zoro,
fai,
cloud,
snape,
okita,
daemon,
kadaj,
gabranth,
beatrix,
edward cullen,
ururu,
haku,
eddie brock,
shadow,
l,
renji,
sanzo,
captain jack
I'm not worthy of her, I've failed her too many times, I should let her go, but I can't, she still loves me in spite of everything, and I'm too weak, and that makes me all the more unworthy...
It was maddening. It made his head hurt, and he didn't know how to deal with it. He did his best to shove it all away, to find some plateau of calm, and maybe it was working.
He spotted Daemon in the crowd of patients, turned away from him, and walked up, doing his best not to scowl any worse than normal. "Hey, Daemon," he said. He'd promised to talk to the man, but now he wasn't sure if he should, or if it would make a difference, or anything else.
Then he took a quick step back, shoving his hands into the too-tight pockets of the 'jeans.' "Whoa! Sorry. Looked like someone I knew."
[yes, he's going up to Saetan and not noticing Daemon for a moment because he's all emo and distracted. XD]
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"You must be looking for my son," he said. He nodded to the figure just a few feet on his other side. "He's over there."
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"Were you looking for me, Renji?" Daemon spoke up, approaching the pair so they could speak in more private tones. "This is my father, Saetan SaDiablo. He arrived yesterday. Father, this is Renji, who I spoke to you about."
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"Yeah," he said, shrugging. He did his best to keep his shoulders relaxed; he didn't want to look as tightly wound as he was feeling. "Said I would, yesterday. I guess." He shrugged again. "Nice to meet you," he said, to Daemon's dad.
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Levity aside, he now scrutinized Renji, noting all the remarkable characteristics that Daemon had tried to point out earlier. Even in the Realms, Renji would stand out as unusual. "Do the two of you need privacy?"
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He tucked hands in his pockets, posture casual and patient as his golden gaze flickered from his father to Renji, waiting for the other man's answer to that question. He knew Saetan would understand if he did, and they could find each other easily enough later. He hoped something hadn't happened last night.
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Renji hesitated, not sure which way to go. In a way, he almost did want to get... something off his chest, because he felt like he was being slowly strangled. But at the same time, he didn't know if he wanted to talk at all, because he didn't like thinking he was that weak, or that much of a whiner. His problems were his own, and he'd done it all to himself.
because... and because... and because...
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, pinching the bridge of his nose as he did. It was the best he could do, when in reality, he just wanted to his something to make himself feel better - which he absolutely couldn't. When he looked back up, he felt a little steadier. He'd deal with it all later, he told himself.
And there might not even be that to worry about, since he was fairly certain Byakuya was going to kill him, and there was nothing he could do about that.
He shrugged. "'s okay," he said. "Nothin' important." He looked at Saetan. "Hoped last night treated you okay." Both looked like they'd done better than him; getting his neck ripped open had been a shitty way to end the night, and it still hurt to an annoying degree.
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On the other hand, Saetan didn't need to know Renji well to see how he'd just shut down some emotion. He threw a worried glance Daemon's way. "I had business elsewhere anyway. Don't hold back on my behalf."
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"I'll find you a bit later when I've had a chance to look around," he spoke to his father. "I don't want to hold you up." Offering them all a way out, allowing Saetan to continue on as planned while he figured out how to get out of Renji the truth on whatever was bothering him.
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And it seemed Saetan had somewhere to go. "Oh. Sorry to hold you up," he said. He glanced at Daemon, not certain if that meant he had something to do as well. There was a town to be scouted, after all, maybe supplies they could steal. He should get on task, himself, and stop worrying about his own problems. There were a lot more important things. "Guess we should all get movin'."
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Without a backwards glance, he turned down the next street.
[to Main St]
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"Alright, old son. Spill it. What's got you looking so troubled? And don't think I buy the nothing important excuse, either."
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He considered his options, hesitating before speaking. He knew that he was a bad liar, so he wasn't going to bother outright lying to Daemon. It wouldn't work. As he thought, he kept paranoid watch on the street; he needed to be aware if his captain approached, and ready to defend himself. Not really conscious of his own actions, he backed up even further so that he had the protection of a building behind him. Old habits died hard.
"Just had a kinda unpleasant surprise, is all," he finally said. He didn't like the feeling of being so indirect, but he also just felt weird talking about it, especially with people around.
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"Uh... let's go over there," he said. If he was going to take his balls firmly in hand and actually admit to someone how screwed he was, he'd rather not have to keep track of an entire street while doing so. Without waiting, he made a beeline for a building that looked like it'd have somewhere to talk in it - and even better, he hadn't seen many other "patients" go that way yet.
[heading here]
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