Day 58: Arts & Crafts (Fourth shift)

[immortale]

Firo was glad to see the end of lunch, if only for the fact that in a few more hours, the day would be over. Night was the only time he had any real freedom of movement, and it was the only time he could do something worth doing, instead of just sitting around

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[poorexample]

That had been nice, in a weird sort of way. Michael didn't know if Reiko had been humoring him, but he didn't really mind if she had. Because they'd been able to have a conversation that wasn't completely insane, that didn't require talking about Heaven and Hell every few words. And at this point, that was a relief

[predictator]

Some people might have thought it was ridiculous to try to sit down a group of adults at tables with craft paper, safety scissors, and miscellaneous other supplies and expect them to participate willingly in 'arts and crafts'. But Izaya? Izaya wasn't among them.

He'd made a stop at the bulletin on his way to the room, of course-that was turning into something of a habit, as one of his few sources of information, news, rumors, and gossip. But afterwards, it was off to the art room with a skip in his step. He knew that some people would think it ridiculous, and that some people would embrace it. He wanted to see all of themIzaya's eyes darted around the room when he entered-there were some people who were working with the supplies and others that were pointedly ignoring them (such as one disgruntled-looking young man), and there was even a boy who looked too young to be counted among the adults (what was he doing in there?). There were faces he recognized, too, but the only ones he knew by name were Tina and Castiel

[poorexample]

And so he was approached by yet another familiar face. It had been easier when it had been Reiko, as they'd only ever interacted during the day, which meant that he knew all of that had really happened. With Orihara, on the other hand (and what was with all of these Japanese names?), it was split about half and half. Which meant that he really didn't know the young man as well as he thought he did

[predictator]

When Castiel (Michael?) had said he had something he should clear up, going on to say he wasn't the person he'd presented himself as this past week hadn't exactly been what Izaya had expected to hear. There had been something a bit odd about Castiel, teleportation aside, but he'd chalked it up to simple quirks, an aspect of humanity that he hadn't gotten to see as much and therefore seemed like a deviation from the broad 'norm

[poorexample]

It wasn't the reaction that he would have expected, but Orihara was also a strange kid. Michael didn't know for sure if he could actually pick locks, but if he could, how had he learned something like that? Maybe he'd been the troublemaker sort as a teenager and had taken it too far; maybe being down on his luck had led to him ending up here eventually. There were far too many possibilities, and that made him realize that he really didn't know much about the other patient.

He'd been too busy trying to form a plan of escape to even ask more than the basic questions. He knew the man's name (though that was probably false); he knew that he was from Japan. Beyond that, it was extremely limited, which almost made Michael feel guilty.

"Yeah, well... I mean, I don't feel great or anything, but I feel much saner than I have in the past week or so." Which was definitely a step in the right direction. He just didn't understand why he seemed to be the only one. Reiko had had her head on her shoulders, but it was possible she still thought

[predictator]

So that was it after all. A simple word, phrase, feeling-sanity, as if everything from before had been the imagination run wild. 'Michael', then, must have been Castiel's 'Joshua' or 'Tina': the name that was on the dog tags, the files, that the doctors and soldiers and staff all used. But playing along with the lines they were told and actually believing were two different things, and it wasn't Izaya he needed to fool if he were acting now... Did he believe he was really Michael? Why? And since when?

But this wasn't the game he'd been playing with Castiel. Ippo and Tina were supposed to be his pieces in that game, toeing the line between what they remembered (or not) and what they were told, but Castiel was different. Castiel was a mystery. Michael was not

[poorexample]

It had probably been naive of Michael to assume that that wouldn't have been brought up eventually. He didn't know how these shared delusions were so accurate between two different people, but that was something he'd probably have to discuss with a doctor. Sadly, they didn't get to see them very often here, if at all. Maybe if he was more eager about getting some psychiatric treatment, he'd be treated more seriously by the staff

[predictator]

And there it was: a confirmation. It was a small confirmation, true, and Michael didn't go on to explain what exactly it was that he was-or thought he'd been. But it was a start to answering the question that had been on Izaya's mind since the night Castiel's 'powers' had returned: was he even human?

Could he press further, to try to get a more concrete answer as to what he was? So far Michael was acting much more laid back than Castiel had been, but it was too soon to tell if he was more open, as well. Since this was no longer the same game as before, finding out as much as he could was now a priority. That included what Castiel was, what specifically Michael now thought, and whether or not their deal about the lock picking still applied. Until he knew the latter, the diagram he'd drawn up was going to remain safely in Izaya's own pocket

[poorexample]

All in all, Orihara's reaction made sense. This was something to laugh over. It was completely ludicrous, that he'd actually thought he was a servant of Heaven with all of the cosmic power to go with it. While it had all been made up, he could still recall that Donna had tried to get the same information out of him, asking if he was an alien or a robot or something of the sort. Michael rubbed at his eyes, wondering if there was any way to admit to it without losing some of his dignity

[predictator]

Michael's behavior was so different from Castiel's that it was quickly becoming fascinating. Castiel had been so stiff, so direct when he wasn't being directly evasive; trying to carefully pry information out of him had been much more difficult. But the point was that Castiel was so somber that Izaya hadn't thought he'd ever hear laughter coming from his mouth.

Izaya smiled to himself at Michael's laugh, and his warning. "I won't laugh at it," he offered, in what could be construed as an attempt to reassure the man.

It really was like having the chance to see two different humans(?) that just happened to have the same body, to get to find out the secrets of one only because of the other.

[poorexample]

Well, the guy had asked for it. At this point Michael didn't have any reason to hold back.

He still felt silly saying it out loud like this to someone who didn't already know, seeing how everyone else he'd spoken to today had already gotten the whole speech from him when he'd still thought it was all true. Having to admit it while sane to someone who was looking at him expectantly -- well, he ended up hesitating for a few seconds and then taking a deep breath before speaking up.

"I... I thought that I was an angel. I mean, one inhabiting a human's body, but... yeah, an angel. Of the Lord. Wings, holy orders, the whole nine yards." He shook his head, barely believing it now even though he had all of the memories, fuzzy thought they might be.

[predictator]

The smile had lingered on Izaya's face as Michael began talking, but it disappeared as soon as he'd uttered the word 'angel'. His eyes widened slightly as Michael continued on, verifying that he'd meant exactly what he'd said, that it hadn't been a metaphor for something else. And when he finished, Izaya remained deathly silent

[poorexample]

Of all the reactions that he'd been preparing himself for, Michael hadn't been ready for complete silence. That was the worst reaction of all, seeing how he was left to sit there awkwardly and wait for something to happen. He couldn't stop himself from running through the possibilities of what Orihara was thinking: that he was insane, that he wasn't, that this was all some elaborate joke -- and really, there was nothing funny about it.

Despite that, the silence was broken by Orihara's laughter, which meant that he'd gone against his word and he was either laughing at him or thought that Michael was pulling his leg. Neither option seemed that good

[predictator]

"I suppose you don't have anything to do with it directly, unless you're an angel of death, but even so: the existence of an angel is proof of something more, something other than just this one world and this one existence. And that alone is wonderful," Izaya said, still wearing that thin smile.

But the other was completely convinced, wasn't he? How had he gone from believing that he was Castiel the angel to believe that he was Michael the human in the time since Izaya had last spoken to him? Had it been gradual and just now manifested? Had something happened to change everything? And didn't he have even the smallest shred of doubt?

"Castiel does exist, even if it was only in your mind in the end. But if it's so easy for you to believe that 'Castiel' was born out of imagination, is it really so hard to consider the opposite might be true instead? Rather than a man having dreamt of being an angel, you might be an angel now dreaming of being a man."

[poorexample]

It was completely impossible for Michael to read the young man at this point. The way he was acting now conflicted so strongly with what he remembered from their conversations before, and the idea that he was contributing to Orihara's sickness bothered him. He should have kept his mouth shut -- this was what he got for being honest.

Of course, he could understand wanting to cling to the idea that there was solid proof of the afterlife existing. Many people, even devout people, struggled with not knowing for certain. But faith was based around accepting something to be true even without that proof, which was how Michael had worked through that hurdle. Granted, that had all apparently fallen apart when he'd lost his mind

[predictator]

"In normal circumstances, I would say that 'Michael' is the more likely to be real," Izaya answered calmly, watching the angel's face carefully. "In normal circumstances, the claim to be an angel would seem like lunacy, unless there was a suitable display of power to accompany it-a 'miracle', if you will."

And it was true: if Izaya had met Castiel and been told he was an angel, he would have thought it little more than a joke. Celty was one thing, but he already had proof of what she was; he had never met an 'angel of the Lord' up until now. Maybe he would have asked Castiel for proof, or maybe he would have played along with the joke, but either way, he wouldn't have believed. Izaya was the farthest thing from a man of faith.

"But these aren't normal circumstances, are they? In normal circumstances, you and I might never have met. In normal circumstances, I certainly wouldn't have gotten to experience teleportation first-hand. Or are you going to claim that than the 'miracle', it was little more than a shared delusion?"